Be Gentle –

tiny baby sleeping

What on earth is this title saying?
What has gentle got to do with tiny baby sleeping?

WHY would anyone want to be gentle?
WHY do we need to be gentle?
WHY is it important to be gentle?

How is being gentle going to help us?

So what do we know about gentle?

We could all agree gentle is NOT

Harmfull
Angry
Aggressive
Yelling
Noisy
Shouting
Venting
Slamming
Stomping
Kicking
Lashing out
Arguing
Bad mouthing
Swearing
Cursing
Frustrated
Resentful
Forceful
Imposing

What is all this to do with a tiny baby?

When we see a tiny baby, we can all feel how precious and delicate they are.
A tiny baby breathing very gently has a tenderness that almost stops us from being loud and noisy or any of the above list. Most of us do our best to tip toe around and not create any of our nonsense to upset them. In other words, we respect the fact that they are gentle and very sensitive to noises that are going on.

Hello – at what age did we forget that we are no longer sensitive and gentle?

When did we cross over to the world of shouting, yelling or slamming drawers and dismiss the fact that we are super sensitive, delicate and tender by our very essence?

The following is a handout taken from the Simple Living Global Back to Basics Program and the title is – Be Gentle – tiny baby sleeping.
Simple guidelines to support everyday living and building a foundation.

Be Gentle in absolutely everything.
A tiny baby is sleeping right there so noise levels at a minimum always.

Start with doors
Open and close doors gently
Be aware of our hands
Feel our fingertips
Focus on what we are doing
In other words, our mind is with us whilst our body is carrying out the job

Keep practising and do a ‘take 2’ where needed.
That means if we slam the car door, we have another go and this ‘take 2’ time, we make effort to be with our body and not check out or have ugly thoughts that are literally making us bang the door shut. This applies for any door.

Next –
Practice kitchen cupboards and drawers
Then rest of our home with doors and drawers
Fridge door
Toilet Seat
Office filing cabinets

Once this starts to become normal – in other words we do it every day and it is just how we live now, then we move on to more…

Be Gentle with –

How we pick up our phone

Place our bag

Place our keys

Place shopping in trolley

Pay at the checkout

Load the car

Walk in the house

Put food in the fridge

Prepare our food

Cook food

Wash our dishes

Prepare laundry

Load washing machine

Fold our clothes

Shower

Wash hair

Put our socks on

Put our shoes on

Walk out the front door

Walk to the bus stop

Walk to the car

Tap the card at the station

Sit on the train

If the old way comes back, just remember to take 2.
Repeat again and keep repeating – no big deal.
The key is always to focus, pay attention to what we are doing in that moment because we have a tiny baby around at all times.

This commitment and consistency to repeat and repeat becomes our foundation.

When our intention is to Be Gentle in every movement that we make, we then start to feel the benefits and the importance of living a life that is gentle to the best of our ability, without perfection.

Some of the benefits taken from lived experience are –

We develop a deep regard for our body
We approach everything with a gentle care
We choose to no longer neglect how we feel
We start to listen to our body

We respect our body
We respect others
We end harm to ourselves
We stop harm to others

We become more aware of everything
We appreciate even the small stuff
We understand everything matters
We value things more deeply

We feel less tired and whacked out
We increase our focus on what is needed
We know the difference when we are not gentle
We can feel if our body is holding tension

We notice when others are not gentle
We pay attention to detail
We inspire others by the way we live
We stop pounding the earth with our old ways that are not gentle

This publication is ©Copyright and the Moral Rights of the Author, Bina Pattel and Simple Living Global are asserted. Other than for the purposes of and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 as amended, no part of this work may in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, microcopying, photocopying, recording or otherwise) be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without prior written permission. Enquiries should be addressed to Simple Living Global – info@simplelivingglobal.com

Share
Share On Facebook
Share On Twitter
Share On Google Plus
Share On Linkedin
Contact us

Comments 24

  1. Be Gentle – tiny baby sleeping

    Who would have thought those 5 words could have such an impact. Reading the blog, I could feel myself using the touchpad on my laptop more gently to scroll down. I am feeling my fingertips now pressing the keys more gently.

    How easy is it to rush and crash about? What harm that does. How beautiful is it to tune into gentleness.

    Thank you for this blog. It is medicine.

  2. Reading this blog what a lovely invitation it is to be gentle in life. With such everyday things to get started in your ‘be gentle with’ list leading to the results of the benefits you have experienced.

    Bringing gentleness into my daily life is a choice I am so glad I made and is something I know I had been wanting for a long time, I just had to realise it was me who could bring it to me, and then to my daily life.

    I completely agree with you, my awareness of everything has also changed and is a great teacher and guide for my everyday living, without perfection.

  3. I recognize this gentleness in my body. It has always been there, but the world has taught me to override this way of being.

    My body has held on to part of it. My movements when I am with myself show this.

    I have watched movies of me skiing and there is a sense of grace that is there in my movements, that surprised me. Downhill skiing is something I can do and totally be with myself. I understand now that that is why I have enjoyed it so much.

    I am surrendering more to myself in all parts of my life now. This is allowing me to let go of all the beliefs of how I should be, and then the natural tenderness and grace can resurface.

  4. By ‘Getting Back to Basics’ and being gentle in how I do things in all areas, where I previously struggled in life, have greatly transformed.

    I am more in touch with my body and how I feel than ever before which not only feels beautiful but with this I have more self regard, I am more steady in myself and I have access to the ultimate wisdom of the Universe. Amazing but True

  5. In 3 days, ‘tiny baby sleeping’ has become a mantra in our house.

    My young kids have tuned straight into it.

    ‘Tiny baby sleeping’ – it’s so easy to feel, it’s like the body totally knows what it means and how to be.

  6. 6 years ago I was introduced to being Gentle by the author of this blog and if I was honest it made no sense to me. Of course it did not at the time because I was stomping around Angry most of the time and I was completely Exhausted. Over the past 6 years I have been working on this:
    – The way I get out of bed- check how I feel before I move, roll on my side, sit on the edge of the bed and take 8 deep breaths before I move.
    – Opening and closing doors gently
    – Folding my clothes before I go to bed rather than chucking them in a corner. This includes setting out my clothes the night before.
    – Clocking how I walk – I wipe underneath my shoes with baby wipes. This has made a difference to the way I walk daily.
    – How I eat – giving myself time to connect and eat rather than rushing.
    – Taking Stop Breaks in my working day no matter what is going on.
    – Not beating Myself up over mundane things.
    – Using my finger tips rather than grabbing things. This has really helped me to connect and has brought down my Drive. Yes I was the queen of Drive always on the go and never Stopping.
    -Massaging my arms daily.
    There are many more and Yes I do a Take 2 when I notice I am being Hard. By introducing Gentle things to my day my extreme exhaustion has lifted and my top end thyroid condition has reversed. And there is always something else I introduce into my day that supports me. As human beings our natural state is to be gentle. When you trash your body why is it we end up with numerous health problems. We all know how our body Feels when we get Angry or someone upsets us.
    A great blog!

  7. Our earth is a great reflection of gentleness. I have sought peace and quiet in nature all through my life. There is something about walking in the woods that feels better than walking down a city street.

    Is it possible that we could have a busy city that does not stress us out? What makes a city so different then any other place on earth? Could it be the intent of why we built the city? And how we built the city?

    Most city’s were built around industry. A place for people to live close to were they worked. What if we made city’s a place for people to live rather thAn a place that revolved around making money.

    This blog presents that if I do everything with care and gentleness, that can change the quality of everything I touch. This quality can be felt by everyone.

    I sometimes have to use a jackhammer in the work I do. It is a very loud and powerful tool used to break concrete. I am working at even using this tool with gentleness. I feel it is just a matter of committing to being gentle with everything you do.

  8. What we are realising at home is you have to work at gentleness, you can’t just turn it on when you want it and hope it will be there. It may, but not at a deep level or in an enduring way.

    For example, this morning my kids found a caterpillar in the lettuce. The caterpillar was cared for a little, then got unintentionally squashed.

    It’s the same when things get broken. A door handle pulled off. A hinge over extended. A loo seat dislodged.

    If gentleness is not consistently lived it shows up in many ways. And each one gives us a chance to pause, have an honest look and go back to practicing.

  9. Focusing on being gentle in everything that I do is a great way for me to stay with myself when I am doing something. And life is a lot more fun when you are with yourself.

    My body is in pain from the way I have lived my life. The pain is my body telling me that how I have been doing things is not ok. In the past I had assumed that pain was just a part of life, so I just ignored it.

    This is a pattern that I have used in many parts of my life.

    So why would I ignore all these messages that my body is sending me?
    With a lot of honesty and support from Simple Living Global, I am understanding that there was a something that was allowing me to believe that “I don’t deserve it” that I did not want to feel.

    Living my life hard was a way of not having to listen to my body and surrender to it, which would have allowed me to deal with this belief that there was something wrong with me.

    So when I can be gentle in things that I do, it allows my body to really feel what is going on and that allows me to make better choices in my life.

  10. Work has been challenging lately because I am doing things that in the past I would have thought were not worth doing or were harmful to our earth.

    This blog has reinforced the concept that it is more important how I am doing things rather than what I am doing.
    So when I am mowing the lawn or even spraying herbicide, if I can do it with gentleness, then I am making a positive difference in the world even if I am physically poisoning the earth. (I am still working with the concept that spraying herbicide is ok).

    It is wonderful to know that when I sweep a sidewalk or dig a hole, if I can do it with gentleness and presence, I am healing my old way of being and clearing the earth of all the past abuse I have done to it.

  11. I can remember being so sensitively aware, as a child, of anything that was not gentle.

    Although I did not grow up with ‘beliefs’ that swearing was bad I tried to get my family to stop swearing because I could feel that it was so obviously hurtful.

    Swearing is not gentle indeed.

  12. At one time the impact of letting a door bang shut wouldn’t have been in my awareness apart from the noise. From bringing gentleness into my life my awareness has vastly changed which has guided me with bringing gentleness to the rest of my life and to others.

    When visiting someone elderly I knew, who was quite ill and had some dementia, I put my bag on the floor gently and then gently sat down and the first thing they said was ‘ooo that was gentle’. This simply shows how all our choices are felt by and affect everyone whether it’s a banged door, a harsh word a negative thought or gentleness.. it is all felt.

  13. Does being ‘Gentle’ really work?

    Does being ‘Gentle’ really matter?

    Does being ‘Gentle’ really have an effect on others?

    Yes, yes and yes.

    From someone who didn’t used to be as gentle as I am now, when I do have those moments where I am not quite as gentle as I could be, it really stands out and I can feel the difference straight away—‘Take 2’ time.

    Also when I come across someone who isn’t being as gentle as they could, again it really stands out.

    When we do things with gentleness, there is a greater likelihood of us doing that thing with, as you say, our minds and bodies at the same time, ie, being consciously present with ourselves. The more we are consciously present with ourselves, the more gentle we become… win, win.

    Gentleness may be a word that is bandied about with consummate abandon but when it is practised, in truth, the effect is very noticeable.

    1. I agree Tim where you say bringing gentleness into your life makes the areas of not so gentle stand out. It is a great learning process to be guided by the gentleness I brought into my life as it continues to deepen and expand to the areas of not so gentle.

  14. Understanding and feeling the power of gentleness, has supported me to stay with myself when life gets challenging, knowing that no matter what is going on, I am making a difference by simply being gentle.

  15. What a simple concept. And it makes so much sense. Just being around a baby brings out the gentleness that we all have. Why not live this way all the time?

    Some men are squeamish about being around babys. I feel it is because it brings up the gentleness and tenderness that they felt they had to give up on when they grew up. It is still there, I am connecting to it more and more, and it has allowed me love myself more, that I do not have be hard and tough to be in this world. It has changed my life in so many ways.

  16. Gentleness as a barometer of what’s going on – that is so true.

    If I crash a door or a plate gets put down too hard on our table, it’s so jarring that it brings out an internal ‘whoa, what’s going on?’ response straight away – like a tell sign for something being way off kilter.

    The same thing happens with clumsiness.

  17. One area of my life where I have been taking note of where I am not gentle is in my thoughts.

    I can tell the difference between when my thoughts are harsh and critical, which is definitely not gentle and when there is a calm and unrushed feeling to them.

    When the thoughts are harsh this has an impact on others and then they can feel tense and uncomfortable, whereas when they are calm my behaviours are not tense and others feel at ease.

    Being gentle can make a difference to how we feel about ourselves and how others feel about themselves.

    1. I can so relate to what you say here Shevon. I always know when I am thinking Hard Thoughts as I get headaches and my shoulders feel tight. The Hard Thoughts for me will come if I am beating myself up over something, which when I look back and reflect there is no need for me to have them in the first place.

      As human beings we give ourself a hard time and make things complicated when there is no reason to.

  18. I’m experimenting at the moment with putting my heels down gently when walking.

    It’s making a big difference to how my spine feels – less locked, more free.

  19. I got the baby boy visiting us baby toys and teddies and paper because he loves playing.

    It made me feel playful and cute.

    I was very gentle with the baby.

  20. Yesterday, a little baby came to our house. My brother and I wanted to take care of him.

    We were very gentle.

    We got him our old baby toys.

    My brother was extremely caring.

  21. Watching my children with a young baby, it was very beautiful to see how they naturally know exactly what to do and how to be. There is a great depth of gentleness and care.

    It can be easy to forget how sensitive, caring and naturally gentle boys are, but it is right there inside them, all the time.

    It is actually their natural state of being.

  22. So I wrote this blog and that long list of course comes from how I live.

    Living gentle to the best of my ability every single day means there is a strong marker inside me that knows when something does not feel gentle.

    I cannot and will not do anything other than observe, if I am out there in the world and things are not gentle. However, I can make sure things are different at home and in my workplace.

    If we keep remembering there is a tiny baby sleeping, then we do make the effort and once this is repeated in our movements, things change. It is impossible, if you ask me to live gently and do things gently and Be Gentle and then try and harm another. It does not happen because being Gentle means we feel and are not in neglect or disregard to our precious body.

    Once upon a time we were all tiny babies, so what happened?
    When did we give up on being gentle?
    WHY do we go to great lengths when a baby is around to be gentle?
    WHY not make it a way of life and then there is no effort needed, as it becomes our natural way of living?

    I am known amongst family and friends for not ever allowing my car door to be banged or closed, without the absolute gentle way I know it can be done.

    I have allowed people to practice until they get it, but that car door loud slam affects me, as I see everything as everything. Might sound weird or crazy to some, but for me that is how I choose to live and it works.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *