Forgot Something? Lost Something?

How often do we forget something?
Misplace something?
Lose something?
Can’t find something?

We all forget something or can’t find something when we need it.
We might get frustrated or angry with ourselves.
We may even blame another or blame something because –
We cannot remember how and when it got lost.
We have no idea where it may have ended up.

None of this helps us.

So WHY do we keep doing this ‘Forgot Something, Lost Something’ business over and over again.

Consider the stress we have when we forget something that is important?
Why do we panic when we lose our ring or misplace the phone?
How do we feel when we lose our house keys, wallet or handbag?
How do we react when we can’t find the passport?
How often do we travel and forget something, but could have sworn we had packed it?
How many times do we forget something even though it was on our list?

How often do our kids drive us nuts because they have lost something?

Are we living in a way that is contributing to this regular losing something?

Are we aware that something inside us maybe going on, why we keep forgetting something?

How often do we say – “How on earth did that happen”?

Has anyone checked how huge the Lost Property is in airports, bus or train stations?

Survey in 2012 revealed $47,000,000,000 loss in 5 countries.
So if it is 47 billion dollars for just a few countries, consider what the real cost is? (1)

Did You Know –

– The average person loses 1.24 items a year
– Less than half of these are ever recovered

– Smartphones are the most common item to go missing
– 70% of people have lost a data storage device
– 57% of people who had lost a data storage device like a laptop or a smartphone said they were most upset about losing their data than they were about losing the device

– 18% of the things reported lost in the survey were stolen
– 11% of lost and stolen items disappeared from a car

– Most people stated that their own distraction or forgetfulness was to blame for losing their belongings

– When people are busy and moving around a lot, there are peaks in loss
– Going from work life into social life coincides with the peak time of day for losing things
– 6pm on Saturdays in December are when we are most likely to lose things

– Other regularly lost items include, keys, credit cards and wallets
– Sadness at the loss of credit cards was driven by older respondents –
– 25% of people aged 55 and over put it at the top of their list as opposed to
– 11% of 18 – 24 year olds

– 27% of 18 – 24 year olds placed laptops as the item they would be most upset about losing
– 10% of people aged 55 and over placed laptops as the item they would be most upset about

– 23% of 18 – 24 years olds placed their smartphone at the top of their list compared to
– 5% of people over 55

– Globally, 19% of all items are lost on public transport’ (1)

– In 2015, approx. 300,000 items of lost property were handed into Transport for London (2)
– This included 22,000 mobile phones, 12,000 umbrellas and £15,000 cash in an envelope
– 22% of the lost items were claimed by their owners

Who ends up with whatever it is we have lost?

Why is it that we leave something in the taxi, on the bus, train or plane?
Has it got anything to do with how we got in the taxi?
Could it be something to do with what was on our mind that morning?
Where was our mind at the time during the train ride?
What was going on for us while we were on the plane?
Do we have a pattern of losing or forgetting things on public transport?
Do we seem to create a drama every time we forget something?
Do we just accept that things like this just happen to everyone so it is ok?

How often do we leave the house and have to go back because we forgot something?
When is it that we remember we lost something?
Is it a few minutes?
Is it a couple of days?
Is it weeks?
Is it the next time we need it, which could be months?

How often in one single day do we misplace, lose or forget something?
How does our body actually feel when we can’t find something?

I recall one of our wedding guests was forgotten to be picked up by his family and he spoke little English at the time and had no way of getting to the venue on his own.
So this confirms, we don’t just forget or lose our keys but we also forget people!

Are we checking out in some way that makes us forget someone or something?
Is our mind connected to our body when we hop off the train and leave something?

What if there was another way that would support us to NOT forget?
What if this other way was simple and practical?
What if we practiced daily this simple way of living?
What would life be like where we rarely forgot anything?
What would our body feel like without the tension of losing something?

So is it possible that we check out for a moment or even a split second and in that time, we forget something?

If it is possible, then that means we would need to “check in”?

How do we “check in” daily so the chances of losing, misplacing or forgetting something are less likely to happen?

To “check in” we need to practice Conscious Presence.

That means our mind is with our body whilst we are doing something.
In other words, we have not checked out, we are not on autopilot and our mind is not elsewhere, whilst we are carrying out a task or simply moving our body.
We are with ourselves and present in whatever it is we are doing.

I learnt about ‘Conscious Presence’ from the teachings of Serge Benhayon – a man who really does live in a constant state of presence. What that means is he is not checked out, he is always with himself, no matter what.

The following tips have worked for me and maybe worth considering – 

If we practice this consistently, we are more likely to gather and collect whatever it is we may have forgotten. Losing things becomes less and so our days are not spent in frustration or tension in our body because we mis-placed, forgot or lost something.

  • Stop and pause and take a deep breath before leaving a room.
  • Check in to feel that we are in our body.
  • Top tip is to close our eyes for a moment.
  • Great way is to feel our fingers and toes and that way we know we are in our body.
  • Hold steady, then move your head slowly and have a glance to feel and see if anything is missing.
  • You may just notice your attention on something you have forgotten.
  • This technique works like magic.

Do the same before you leave the house.
Do the same before you leave the office.
Do the same before you get out of the car.
Do the same before you get off the bus, train or plane.

This simply creates a moment to just Stop and Pause.
The deep breath thing works as it brings us back into our body.
It is like we have connected and plugged back in so we become aware.
It is like we can feel if anything is amiss and not with us easily.
We realise what we have left behind.
It may be an umbrella or it may be our coat or keys.

Choosing to take the stop moment and press the pause button could save us a lot of stress.
Over the days and weeks and months ahead, we may feel like things flow more.
Giving ourselves permission to not rush out of the house or jump off the train can support us.

It takes seconds to connect and plug in and it could just be the simple answer.

Long term – it sure saves a lot of frustration and headaches.

Well worth having a go.

References

(1) (2012) Lost and Found. Mozy
https://mozy.co.uk/about/news/reports/lost-and-found

(2) Atkin, C. (2016, February 1). Inside TFL’s Lost Property Office, where 300,000 Items Turn Up a Year
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/video-inside-tfl-s-lost-property-office-where-300000-items-turn-up-a-year-a6846616.html

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Comments 16

  1. It is so much bigger than just ‘forgetting something’…

    I have spent much of my life losing myself by focusing on other people and on what is going on around me. As a child this earned me the title, “the spacey one”, but it only got worse in adulthood and the consequences far more disruptive.

    Life is challenging enough without forgetting keys, appointments, directions, items, names, faces…! It made me crazy and I believed I had a “memory disorder” but that was not it…

    Practicing ‘checking in’ with myself regularly as Simple Living Global has shown me I can do, has made my life way less frustrating and more cohesive. I still forget things some but now I look back and see that it happened because I chose to forget me in the picture of what was going on, and then I can use the lesson to re-commit to consistent ‘check in’s’; and this, for me, is a re-commitment to myself and to life. Not a little thing.

    1. Great you have added another dimension to this blog Jo Elmer about other things we lose like appointments, directions, names and faces.
      This checking in business works. If you are not with yourself – in other words checked out and all over the place, or ahead of yourself or racing around then chances are you are going to lose something or mis-place it and the awareness will simply not be there.
      It really does pay to practice being present and that means living inside your body so you know what is going on.

  2. As I read this article I chose to try out the tips at the end. I was not expecting anything major, however I was surprised to find my awareness gravitate towards a couple of actions that were not quite complete in the room. Small tasks that I did not think much of, yet when I became aware of them I realised how significant they actually were to how I felt! I can see how focused my brain can get and how things can just get ignored.
    What you have offered is a great way of reconnecting the awareness we have within. It is wise to not to rely on our brain alone, when it can so easily get hung up on one area and become numb to everything else.

    1. So here we go – you are living proof once again that the tips presented by Simple Living Global in this blog actually work.
      This is your first time Golnaz on this website and you tried something out.
      We could dismiss this and say this is one person and it is random but the truth is this is anecdotal evidence. You are a living science and therefore what you say counts and it does matter because the world needs to know that there is another way to live and for the record – it is basic and super simple.

  3. The stop and pause is a great technique that I use everywhere. Even when there is a long queue to get through the ticket barrier at the train station. It keeps me steady and a great reminder to STOP. I also use my Finger tips when picking up and putting things down, texting, typing practically everything. It has really helped me pay attention to almost everything.

  4. Yesterday I missed my plane. I forgot my computer charger and returned home after driving about 8 kms to get it. I had left in plenty of time so I knew that I would make it to the airport on time. What I did not know was that there was an 11km gridlock on the freeway! The flight closed two minutes before I arrived at the counter! Forgetting things for me is definitely about not taking responsibility and living in an arrogance that I am doing ok when in fact I am living in a tension that I am not wanting to feel. Conscious presence is the only way back to myself. Yesterday’s experience was painful and a huge STOP moment for me. Everything matters and affects everything else, even when we believe it does not!
    Thank you for this great blog Bina Pattel.

    1. Bernadette what a shocker! That’s certainly copping it on the forgetfulness front. Thank you for sharing the experience and your conclusion that forgetfulness is tied to nervous tension – that’s a big reminder for me too. I also could not agree more that “Everything matters and affects everything else, even when we believe it does not” – wise words and loaded with an invitation to responsibility.

  5. “Well worth having a go” – well worth it indeed. There is so little practical advice out there on this sort of thing. I mean, who is paying attention to this stuff? It’s like it’s considered not important and yet as this blog shows, there’s clearly a lot more going on here if millions of us are forgetting stuff every day and not even looking at the why, just getting lost in the frustration of it. Just recently I left some belongings behind even though I thought I’d been so organised. Reading this blog, I know for a fact that if I’d paused for a moment and consciously reflected on whether I had everything, that the bag would have popped into my head and would be with me right now. Such a simple technique to keep our brains and our bodies connected. Thank you for it and for the reminder to actually read what’s going on with ourselves.

  6. Wow this is something I’ve been an expert at – checking out. I’d be driving and the next thing I’m at my destination. How did I get there, who was driving? Certainly not me, worth pondering when you do something and not remember doing it.

    I’ve been taking the responsibility to be with myself more, at times I get caught back in the old ways and have to bring myself back again. I made the choice not to go back to my old ways again.

    What has been noticeable is when I’m not with myself, I feel unwell, there is this weird feeling to everything being hazy – not pleasant.

  7. Working for a London bus company, I get a lot of lost property handed in ranging from small items like bus passes, wallets and phones, to large items like suitcases, shopping trolleys and prams.

    I used to wonder how anyone could leave these large items on the bus, you can understand a smaller item being left, but to leave something so large was quite astounding.

    I know from personal experience that a pram with a child was left on the bus and according to the Lost Property Office, the strangest item handed in was a ‘coffin’.

    Having read this blog, it doesn’t matter what the size of the item is, if we are checked out or as you say, not consciously present with ourselves, we can potentially leave anything or anyone behind.

    One thing that has helped me over the years to minimise forgetting something is to have routines.

    For instance, when I get in from work, I put all my items in the same place so when I leave the next morning, everything is there.

    These routines build a foundation which helps to ensure things run as smooth as possible.

    There are occasions, albeit very few these days, when I have forgotten something, but I immediately know that it is because I have checked out because I am rushing or I am seeing something as less important.

  8. I see my mobile phone as my connection because that is what it is. It connects me to the world outside of me.

    Very rare but at times I leave it in one place and move on without it and I have to stop and press the pause button and track my steps back, so I can find it.

    The next thing I would do is a bit of a post mortem.
    I do a little forensic expose of what on earth was I thinking at the time or doing, that made me lose my connection. I would then question myself what happened before that and before that. A bit like a movie film where you got the picture frames and you are going back 10 steps to see how you got to the lost mobile phone in the film.

    The story reveals my movements and the reason for doing this is not to beat myself up or waste time but simply so I can learn.

    Something happens and if I do not question it, then chances are it could happen again and this time it may cause me major problems.
    It is for this reason that things in my life are questioned and questioned. That is how I learn and evolve.

    1. I like how you do a bit of a post mortem Bina, a great tip, I’m going to give this a go and see where and when my focus and presence was lacking so I can learn from it and evolve rather than repeat and repeat with magnification until I finally get it.

      It makes sense to track my movements leading up to losing something or forgetting something, laying the process out clearly. I question so much more since reading your blogs and this blog takes it deeper again, thank you.

  9. Metro – 17 October 2017

    Over £200,000 cash left on public transport.

    Add to that 34,000 mobile phones
    60% going unclaimed

    10,000 umbrellas
    13,000 sets of keys
    1,000 laptops

    All this in one year.

    Is this a clear confirmation that we are simply not connected when we depart from the bus or train?

    Is this proof that we are checked out charlies and this is why this happens?

    Is it true that most of us can’t even remember where we lost it until we actually need to use it? In other words, we don’t even notice it’s gone missing at the time.

    Think of all the inconvenience, stress and in some cases sleepless nights – ALL of which can be avoided if we just took the time to stop and pause and make this a habit.

    Our tendency to rush around and lose our focus is what causes most of this lost property stuff if you ask me. I know because once upon a time, I was part of those statistics.

  10. Over the last few days I have had the experience of losing close items. Thankfully all items were found again within 24 hours, but I noticed that there were different reactions about this from me.

    E.g. at points I felt upset and annoyed with myself, but I also identified an element of control in needing to know where things are otherwise I feel out of kilter.

    The other was feeling the devastation of losing things that were close to me and that I had not valued and safeguarded them well in order to not lose them.

    Yes I got the items back, but this experience is asking me to re-evaluate my relationship with how I am with myself and the things around me and whether I am plugged in and connected or not when interacting with them.

  11. Thank you for this marvellous blog.

    Without the wisdom of the author, I might not have stopped to take stock of all the unnecessary stress I have created for myself over the years on those occasions that I have created an issue for myself through behaving absent-mindedly.

    Occasions when I have misplaced my keys, left my home wondering if I had locked the front door properly, or some other such thing.

    I do have a place for everything at home and Iike to keep everything in its place, but I do occasionally misplace things, such as keys.

    Pondering the blog, it came to me that, invariably, those times that I misplaced my keys were times when I had not been with myself.

    I had either been rushing or distracted and my mind had been some where other than concentrated on the activity my body was engaged in at the time.

    What strikes me as I recollect some of these instances of misplacing items is a newfound awareness of my habitual response at such times.

    My tendency has been to go into reaction and enter a panic mode I have which has me turning everything upside-down immediately, going through every pocket, re-tracing all my steps in an agitated state until the misplaced item is found.

    What unnecessary stress I create for myself when I behave like this!

    Pondering all this, I have come to a conclusion – I am precious and my body is precious, so I do not wish to hold the unnecessary stress, tension and anxiety described above in my body again.

    Therefore, I resolve to heed the author’s suggestions and do all I can to be consciously present as best as I can, as much as I can, from now on.

  12. Yesterday, I needed access to my passport.

    I have been super organised all of my life and things have a ‘home’ no matter what they are. This ‘home’ obviously works as I just know where to go. No such thing as losing something, especially important documents.

    Well during the recent holidays we had a super clean and clear out and these important documents got new wallets to cover them all. Their ‘home’ had to be moved as their original place was not feeling right.

    Guess what, in a mad moment I forgot, where that was?

    In came a ton of thoughts and it was like I was being told that’s it – you are never going to find it and the mind started to go off in a spin with seriously crazy thoughts.

    STOP is what I done and just moved and got on with my next task in hand. I then was able to come back to my usual sensible way of thinking, with no nonsense thoughts entering, walked to the room and knew exactly where to go. ALL that took about 5 minutes.

    What I know is that our blood pressure goes up when we have this internal crazy dialogue going on and it stimulates us and eggs us on to spin and stress out for no logical reason. Once we are in this altered state of being, there is zero chance of finding anything we have lost or mis-placed.

    I know a friend who is still looking for her passport in her house and it’s been over 3 years and it has stopped her travelling.

    Could it be possible that if we live in a way that has regular stop moments during each day, we are more likely to go back to that stop and pause feeling when things get lost?

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