Let Go, LETTING GO

What does it actually mean to Let Go? 

Let Go of what and WHY?

We all know that letting go means no longer holding on to something or someone.

We live in a world that is constantly moving and changing and things come and things go and yet so many of us have an issue with letting go.

What is it that we need to let go of?
What would happen if we did choose to let go?
What changes if we avoid letting go?
What are our fears about letting go?
Why is it so hard to let go?
Why is this letting go business so difficult?
Why is letting go not so easy for some of us?
Why is letting go a complicated thing at times?

WHY is letting go important for us?

Why do we go around and around when we KNOW that letting go could instantly change things for us? 

Let’s look at our Concise Oxford English dictionary and what it has to say about Let Go

Allow someone or something to go free
Relinquish one’s grip on someone or something (1) 

Relinquish meansvoluntarily cease to keep or claim; give up (1)

In other words –

We ALLOW for something or someone to go free and move
We choose to end our claim to someone or something
We voluntarily cease to keep someone or something
We give ourselves permission to give up someone or something

DID YOU KNOW

In the UK the majority of people use their garage as storage for clutter and not their car.

Survey by RAC Insurance says ‘Home Owners store £15,000,000,000 of items in their sheds.
Fifteen billion pounds is around $20,130,000,000. (2)

Storage Space is big business in the UK.

In 2014, this industry had an annual revenue of nearly £500,000,000. (3)
The most well-known storage company in the UK has an annual revenue of nearly £60,000,000.
Their average store size is 63,000 square feet. (4)

With the rise in consumption, there has also been a rise in hoarding. (5)

The Culture of More, More, More –
The biggest factor is simply that we live in a society where you are encouraged to think (some might say programmed) that your self-worth is tied to how much “stuff” you have. When you are told that you have more value if you have more stuff, then the instinct is to go and purchase or acquire that stuff. But what do you do with it then?
In reality, you probably don’t need very much of the same “stuff” you have acquired, so it turns into clutter. This is probably the biggest issue with why clutter is so predominant in the first world.’

The Consumer Media Machine –
The consumer media monster is everywhere – and it is telling you that you need to buy more, more and more.’

The Association between Emotion and “Stuff” –
When you assign a mental or emotional value to a thing, it makes it much harder to let go of it. This then leads to clutter.’ (6)

Could it be possible that we buy things to reward us and think it will make us ‘happy’?

The Extremes of Not Letting Go

Under the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) hoarding has been given its own classification of Hoarding disorder. (7)

‘Hoarding disorder is considered a significant problem when –

The amount of clutter interferes with everyday living – for example, the person is unable to use their kitchen or bathroom and cannot access rooms.

The clutter causes significant distress or negatively affects the person’s quality of life or their family’s. For example, they may become upset if someone tries to clear the clutter and their relationships with others suffer as a result.’ (8)

The death of someone close can lead to a worsening of hoarding behavior. (9)

Between 2 – 5% of adults in the UK may have symptoms of a hoarding disorder. (8)
Up to 6% of the USA population experience compulsive hoarding.
That is around 19 million Americans. (10)

Hoarding can cause a lot of damage to property, affecting walls, causing damp and condensation due to poor care e.g. lack of ventilation and depending on what is being hoarded.
Hoarding is not limited to money, books, newspapers and carrier bags but also includes poo and urine in the most extreme cases.
This can result in thousands of pounds of repairs for landlords, with £20,000 quoted in one case recently discussed with me by a housing officer in London.

I was also told about a case where social care staff standing outside a hoarded property being cleared, flared up in allergies.

A study in 2012 in New York found that 22% of people threatened with eviction and seeking intervention had a hoarding problem. This condition has been linked with homelessness. (10)

The above is telling us that this holding on stuff is a big problem and it is not going away.

So how does this go on in real life every day and how does it affect us?

If we start with honesty – could we list things that we hold on to?
Anyone or anything that we know is not truly supporting us in our life?

Could we start with the ‘stuff’ we have in our room, apartment, house or garage?
Could we go deeper and admit some of our relationships are not helping us?
Could we get really honest and say we are not sure why we cannot let go of harmful relationships?

What about our deep buried hurts?

Have we ever stopped and asked where did all those hurts from our painfull past go?
Have we ever wondered what happens to us because we never let go of our deep hurts?
Have we ever asked could our body be holding onto some of this ‘stuff’ that is buried?

Is there a direct correlation with having a weight issue and holding on to our emotional stuff, our past hurts and our clutter?

According to studies by the National Institute of Health there is a connection between overeating and hoarding.

In a 2011 publication of the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Timpano et al discovered that a genetic variation in a gene sequence led to a brain disorder responsible for hoarding and overeating in both human and non-human animals.

BDNF (Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor) protein “disorder” leads to changes in the central nervous system and is linked with:

  • Memory impairment
  • Greater avoidance of things that seem unpleasant, like cleaning or limiting food intake
  • Greater anxiety at having to throw away something that has great meaning or fearing that if it is thrown away, it will be needed and you don’t have it
  • Aggression, often directed at oneself or at others who are critical of the way you live
  • Obesity (11)

It makes sense that when we eat too much, we are hoarding food inside our body.

‘Research in children found that loss of control over food intake (overeating) was linked with difficulties in regulating emotions as well.’ (11)

Could it be possible that constipation is a sign that we are holding on to emotions?

Could it be possible that when our internal system is not letting go and doing its natural job in the poo department, it may just have something to do with not LETTING GO?

Could it be possible that there is tension in our body because we are not letting go of things that have come to a natural end?

Could it be possible that not letting go creates anxiousness?

Could it be possible that our bloated big belly has something to do with holding on?

Could it be possible that we can see a pattern in our behaviour when it comes to letting go?

Could it be possible that we are only willing to let go of certain things?

Could it be possible that we know what is right but we are frightened of taking the next step?

Could it be possible that we are invested in all these images we have in our mind, about how life should be and letting go would mean a scary future?

Could it be possible that we want to have a guarantee that our future is certain and so we choose not to let go?

Could it be possible that by not letting go of things that hurt us in life, we stay stuck on some level and don’t really move on?

Could it be possible that letting go and moving on is actually a natural way of living?

Could it be possible that letting go supports our Evolution?

Could it be possible that we think we don’t know how to Let Go?
Could it be possible that we feel it is too hard to Let Go?

What if our patterns of holding on can become entrenched and hurt us?
What if holding on becomes destructive to our health and well-being?
What if holding on guarantees no change?
What if holding on keeps us feeling stuck?
What if we know that holding on can become our foundation?

What if we are aware on some level that this holding on stuff is not serving us?
What if we truly let go, what would happen to our –

Bodies
Organs
Posture
Sleep
Computer
Paperwork
House
Garage
True health and well-being?

What if this holding on is just a delay button we keep pressing to stop us moving on?

As the author of this blog, I can say that I was stuck in my ways and holding on was just how I lived and at no point did I question WHY. Letting go was not on my radar.

2005 – Enter Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and I got some answers to this big fat problem.

  • Addiction to shopping and hoarding and super ‘organised clutter’
  • Big fat houses to hide the clutter and look like there was plenty of space
  • Consistently bloated and weight issue
  • Loved comfort foods
  • Deep buried emotional hurts and no intention to deal with them
  • Buying stuff and in denial about what was coming up
  • Letting go of things and then instantly replace them with something else
  • Feeling protected in some way by having ‘things’ that held no meaning or purpose

In brief, I was going around and around and arriving at the same point and truly letting go of anything was not happening.

I came to understand that our life and everything in our world is about cycles. There is not really a beginning or an end even though it was convenient to think like that.

So I started to apply what I had learned about numbers simply because it made some sense.
So number 1 was a new beginning.
Number 9 was the end of the cycle.
10 would be a number 1 again, so back to the new beginning.

Put that into everyday practical Simple Living and things started to change in a way that I could not even dream was possible.

I reckon God put me on this earth this time round to get on with this number 9.

I knew that this letting go business was not an overnight action programme but a lifelong process of me discarding anything and EVERYTHING that no longer serves me, so I could get on with LIVING life and not just existing in my complicated old way of being.

So on every day of the month that has the number nine – 9th 18th 27th – I have a plan.

It is a date in the calendar that I take note of and use as an opportunity to review my life and this goes on even now.

The following list is some old stuff and the rest is an ongoing reminder to keep refining anything that is not Truth.

LET GO of anything that no longer serves me
LET GO of anything that no longer supports me
LET GO of anything that does not feel true
LET GO of anything that is complicated
LET GO of anything that is in the way of my evolution
LET GO of anything that I can feel is harmfull
LET GO of my own demands on how I should think and act in this world
LET GO of behaviours that were hurting my body
LET GO of all the pictures in my head of how life should be
LET GO of ideals about life that have been fed to me
LET GO of beliefs that were never true and yet I followed them
LET GO of constantly comparing myself to others
LET GO of following others who looked like they had better lives
LET GO of living in big fat houses used simply to hoard stuff
LET GO of all the diets that never worked
LET GO of Champagne Lifestyle with Lemonade Money
LET GO of living in ga-ga land aka airy-fairy world
LET GO of clothes and shoes that are not me now
LET GO of writing 300 christmas cards
LET GO of the need for recognition in what I do
LET GO of any disregarding and abusive way of living
LET GO of emails and end the ‘just in case syndrome’
LET GO and ask WHY you want that which you know is hurting you
LET GO and put an end to that which does not belong

This included nicey nice and painfull relationships
This included deep hurts
This included trying to be someone I was not
This included excess weight loss
This included plastic cards shopping trips
This included washing detergent to keep a family going for 10 years
This included a triple garage with stuff that was never looked at
This included empty boxes that filled up a whole loft
This included bags, any bags just incase
This included spiritual new age books
This included over 500 CD’s
This included leaving university which was only to please my dad
This included kitchen appliances that lived in boxes, never used
This included bank statements since the year dot
This included food that was slowly killing me
This included monthly subscription to the wine club
This included monthly delivery from the chocolate club
This included internet shopping on auto pilot mode
This included the mega channel TV contract
And so it goes on and on …

What are the benefits if ALL this stuff goes?

Life is super simple
Living life by understanding cycles
Feeling content about Back to Basics stuff
Nothing is a big deal
Equipped to deal with any issue that life presents
Super small organised home with space
Clean and clear office with order
No more playing the Blame game
There is space to truly breathe
No more garage or spare room with clutter
House can breathe as no longer holding onto stuff
NO MORE ABUSE
No more desire to shop, shop and shop
No more acid reflux with bad food habits
No need to drink alcohol to take the edge off life
No more addiction to colonics
No more bread belly
No more Cold Hands and Cold Feet
No more coughs and colds
No more tight chest
No more hardness in the body
No more tension or pressure in the head department
Shoulders are not heavy with burden
Poo department all ok – thank you very much

Cupboards and drawers say thank you as they are constantly reviewed
Emails are going and not sitting around
Space to write blogs like this consistently
Always have time to get out in the community and engage with others
More awareness of what is actually going on in the world
Opportunity to set a new way of living
A great night’s sleep everyday
No more popping pills for this and that
Consistently feeling the joy of knowing I am not hurting myself or others

Aware that life is most certainly not about holding on but letting go consistently of anything and everything that no longer supports our evolution.
By the way in case you haven’t noticed we are in month 9
Add up our year and it comes to 9

So WHAT IF we spent a bit more time in September letting go and ending cycles before another new beginning – month 10.

We could of course say this number thing is a load of twaddle but having LIVED with numbers for a long time now, I feel there is something in it.

Reading the newspaper on the train I read this –
“There is something psychological about September …
Whilst we may not make resolutions in the same way we do at new year, we may still resolve to change a situation that has been making us unhappy for some time”. – Elaine Taylor, Relate, Cambridge Office (12)

WHY September?

Could it be possible the ending cycles in month 9 is what this lady is saying?
Could it be possible that this numerology stuff is teaching us something, if we stay open?

Could it be possible that living our life in cycles is actually our natural way of living?
Could it be possible that numbers were around way before words and so going Back to Basics, how life used to be lived, may just hold some answers for us?

Could it be that simple?

Disclaimer

I am no medical expert, science lab lady or any other professional academic telling you all what to do based on my knowledge and research.

What I claim is that I have a PhD (if there was ever one) in common sense.

NEXT – LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE

WHAT IF if we all started doing our bit by LETTING GO of what we know and can feel is not deeply and truly supporting us in our life.

What effect would this have on our own health and well-being?
What effect would this have on our family and friends?
What effect would this have in the work we do?
What effect would this have if we are studying?
What effect would this have for our community?
What effect would this have at the local re-cycle place?
What effect would this have on the landfill sites?
What effect would this have on our waste industry?
What effect would this have on the Goodwill Charity shops?
What effect would this have on Mother Earth?

What effect would this have on society?

Less stress on landfill
Mother Earth not congested
Marine Life can breathe again
Less tension as no more credit card bills
Real respect for our body and our environment
The End to all Abuse
NO MORE dreading the future

Is this possible?
Does this make any sense?
Could it be that simple?

Are we open and willing to at least consider what this blog is presenting?

References

(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011

(2) (2016, April 12). Brits Keep £15bn of Goods in Garden Sheds. RAC
http://www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/brits-keep-15bn-of-goods-in-garden-sheds

(3) Yearsley, W. (2014, April 14). Self-Storage: The Men Who Got Rich Selling Empty Space
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-26921870

(4) (2016). The Big Firms. Storage.co.uk.
http://www.storage.co.uk/about-self-storage/the-big-operators

(5) Matoorah, G. (n.d). Revealed – Why Self-Storage is Now Big Business in the UK
http://www.safehouse-ss.com/revealed-why-self-storage-is-now-big-business-in-the-uk

(6) (2015, January 19). Is Clutter a First World Problem? Postconsumers.com
http://www.postconsumers.com/education/first-world-problem-clutter

(7) (2013). Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders. American Psychiatric Association
http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Obsessive%20Compulsive%20Disorders%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf

(8) (2015, June 19). Hoarding Disorder. NHS
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Hoarding/pages/introduction.aspx

(9) (2009). Hoarding Fact Sheet. International OCD Foundation
https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Hoarding-Fact-Sheet.pdf

(10) Solovitch, S. (2016, April 11). Hoarding is a Serious Disorder – and it’s only Getting Worse in the U.S. The Washington Post
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/hoarding-is-serious-disorder–and-its-only-getting-worse-in-the-us/2016/04/11/b64a0790-f689-11e5-9804-537defcc3cf6_story.html

(11) (2016, January 23). New Research Shows Link Between Obesity and Hoarding. HealDove
https://healdove.com/mental-health/Your-body-is-a-temple-not-a-store-house-ten-tips-to-lose-the-weight-and-the-clutter-in-your-life

(12) Binns, D. (2016, August 30). The Summer Holidays Are Over, so Let’s Get Divorced. Metro

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Comments 44

  1. Reading this blog makes me want to have a massive clear out. I knew I was a hoarder and I ‘manage’ it better now than ever before, but I have never wanted to look at why that is (or indeed at the possibility I have a disorder!). The ‘could it be possible’ questions here make it more pressing somehow, actually to take a look at that and then maybe seeing the truth behind it will mean the clearing out remains cleared rather than creating a vacuum for more stuff to come in. The ‘poo department’ bits made me laugh out loud – interesting to consider the possibility that holding on/not letting go can affect us deeply and physically, not just in lack of shelf space. Also this number 9 business is really intriguing. The number 9 has pervaded my life – it pops up everywhere for me. I definitely believe in the power and significance of numbers – if it is even a small possibility that the number 9 is an invitation to let go then what an opportunity September and all those 9 days in between give us.

    1. Great comment Jenifer Swallow and you make some valid points here.
      I wonder how many of us have become mini masters at ‘managing’ our stuff because we are super organised on some level.
      Those ‘could it be possible’ questions bring to light that maybe there is something more we need to look at with our holding on behaviours and once that is addressed this could be gone from our life as it has for the author who shares the before and after.
      Yes it is ‘interesting to consider the possibility that holding on/not letting go can affect us deeply and physically, not just in lack of shelf space’.
      Also worth considering if this number 9 thing has some meaning because numbers have been around a long long time and we cannot dismiss the Science of Numerology just because it has not been tested in controlled conditions in a laboratory. In others words lets think it does not exist or hold any meaning because it is not evidence based.

  2. I have just entered a 9 year being 27 years old now. The questions you’ve shared here make a lot of sense and while I have for a few years now felt the benefits of letting go of stuff in my body and in my home (which are always linked, if something inside shifts I feel an urge to clean outside and likewise when I let go of something in my home something inside shifts) it feels good to ask these questions again, to repeat and go deeper. Thank you.

    1. Thank You Leigh Matson. I agree it is always good to ask questions and this is how we learn and evolve. There is so much more to this letting go business and I feel it is an ongoing process. This takes the whole thing to another level as it is calling to account that we are constantly changing and so anything that no longer supports us in truth, in our evolution does need letting go. Yes its hard but if we do small things then there is a chance we will let go of bigger things that harm us, have no purpose or meaning.

  3. I know there is a PhD in common sense talking here. I am thrilled that this blog exists and speaks, in simple language, volumes to what is going on for us. Finally someone getting down to the roots of the pack rat syndrome we all know is a problem for so many.

    Letting go is so basic and so needed… and yet so un-addressed.
    I have been noticing that although so many carry the weights of inner & outer struggles we seem to manufacture meaningless conversation instead of expressing and sharing where we are at with each other.

    I got fed up with my own avoidance of what really matters. I whole heartedly welcome and appreciate this blog site and its author.

    Instead of feeling I have less, letting go is most certainly supporting me to be more of who I am & I feel more and more wealthy & enriched the more I let go of…

    My dad did it; anyone can do it.

    1. TOP COMMENT Jo – love it !
      Great point you make that letting go is ‘so un-addressed’.
      What you say here is pure gold “we seem to manufacture meaningless conversation instead of expressing and sharing where we are at with each other. Letting go is certainly supporting me to be more of who I am”.
      This speaks volumes if you can read between the lines so to speak.
      Having less is more but not in tangible dense things we call stuff. Be it the old broken table our grandmother left us or our issues buried deep that are full of hurt. Once we let go we feel lighter and more open and change is the next step. No brainer really.

  4. I am understanding that the tension in my body is about my attachment to how I think things should be.

    When I believe something should be someway and it does not happen it just sets me up to react. For me this reaction causes tension in my body.

    With support from Simple Living Global, I am letting go of many beliefs I have lived my life around.

    It feels so amazing to let go of stuff, my body is thanking me and it allows the real me to come out!

    1. This is a great comment as we tend to think letting go is all about things, items, that garage stuff but what about our many long held beliefs.
      What about our relationships that are abusive and deeply harmfull?
      What about our old stuck ingrained behaviour that we know bugs us?

      What you say is true as I have also experience that letting go does feel amazing and my body says thanks as the real me gets permission to come out. It is not buried and hiding under something or someone that no longer supports me in truth or has no meaning or purpose.

  5. As I go deeper with this concept of ‘letting go’ I am aware that the things I have had the most difficulty letting go of are when I know I have not been myself, have not taken full responsibility in something & this has caused disharmony & pain, I then react by “holding on” like a snapping turtle, to “what could have been”, thinking I am ‘trying to fix it’, thinking that if I hold onto it I may find a way to correct it but essentially I am just abusing/punishing myself for the harm my ‘mistake’ caused. In doing this I literally prevent myself being able to meet the next thing that will unfold to offer me a true opportunity to have “another go”.

    When I do let go, accept and allow & see my ‘mistakes’ as the ‘learnings’ that they are, I am much more able to be the ME who can ‘respond’ to & meet the next life experience with the love that is required.

    1. Many of us could relate to your ‘snapping turtle’ example here Jo. It makes sense as we somehow go into this ‘trying to correct a mistake’ which we know from the start was a mistake. How is it that we as humans find it so hard to accept when we make a mistake?

      What if our young children had their first class at school about how to connect with their body and BE with themselves before anything else. From this connection they are educated to ACCEPT that mistakes are ok and a part of learning. They are also given more wisdom like why it is important to not harm their body but to listen to it. How to honour what they feel above anything else and not be afraid to express that throughout life. What if they got the sense that lying is not normal so they have permission to use their inbuilt radar that is deeply honest from the start.

      Sounds way off to many but this is what we need if we are to ever see any real change in the long term as these youngsters are our future adults.

      1. As I imagine what it would be like if the first class in school was about how to connect to our bodies and be with ourselves before anything else and that part of learning is making mistakes; I am nearly crying… so much pain would not have been! But now I am giving myself this class in the Simple Living Global Back to Basics Program and it is helping me to melt my old ways of hurting myself.

  6. I am making an intention to let go of the drive that has driven me to a lot of pain and exhaustion in my life!
    Just saying that brings tears to my eyes.
    So much appreciation to Simple Living Global for supporting me to let go of all the things that do not support me and to allow the real me to surface.

    1. Interesting what you say here Ken about Letting Go allows the real you to surface.
      This makes sense as we seem to hold on to things and it does not allow the space for us to be who we truly are.
      The other thing that letting go does is it ends complication.
      Life becomes simple – super simple and clear. Like the fog has lifted.
      I am a walking talking proof of this as I LIVE this in my daily life every single day.
      No surprise I choose to write on a website called SIMPLE LIVING.

  7. What you say about September is so interesting Simple Living Global, as Metro newspaper on 22nd September 2016 reported on ‘Why September is the new January in gyms.’ This was based on a study that showed there were 31,700 more gym visits in Britain in September 2015, compared to August. The reason? Researchers say people wanting to get back in shape after the ‘summer holiday indulgence.’

    There is definitely something in this about September being a month of change. To follow on from that in my team at work we had an exceptionally busy few months with 2-3 times the number of cases coming through into the team in September than usual. We were discussing this in a team meeting and everyone was asking WHY? Collectively we could not find a reason but I thought of this blog and shared that September is a month of change. We then clocked that yes we see an increase in January too. This confirms to me that there are particular times in the year when we naturally do let go of what is no longer working.

    1. There is something here in the numbers and one day the world will understand the Science of Numerology by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine.
      This man knows what he is talking about and is light years ahead.

      We cannot ignore comments like yours Shevon and whilst the majority think its weird, random or have no logic explanation, what if there is more that we don’t quite understand or know about yet?

  8. I can so relate to this blog. I spent all my life up until a few years blaming my parents for my messed up life and others around me. That NOT LETTING GO built up and had an impact on the way I lived and my body took a battering to which I now have to deal. Imagine I am just one person. If you count how many people walk round like that everyday lacing the world with it, it is scary. I for one learned that Letting Go comes with RESPONSIBILITY and when you Accept and take responsibility for the CHOICES you make be it good or bad it Allows you to move forward and leave that Resentment behind.

    1. I appreciate your powerful words Priscilla; I feel how the power comes by the fact that you are speaking from experience about letting go.

      I have been working on letting go and can relate to what you express here. I realize I can not move on when I am holding onto something and that has stunted me so much in my life…

      I feel now how great my responsibility is to deepen my self-honesty and self-compassion so I can let go, so I can move forward and evolve; move forward out of the struggle and hurt and be the loving person I really am in this world.

      1. Thank you Priscilla and Jo for adding more to this blog to expand on this Letting Go business. I agree Jo that there is always power that we can feel if someone is writing from lived experience. It holds a quality that feels strong.
        Next – Letting go comes with that word RESPONSIBILITY as you say Priscilla and we can really apply it to every area of our life. This is not just about letting go of clutter or our hurts from the past but we can let go of stuff everyday.
        Example to share is you get emails that you delete and then they come back and more join the list. How about we ‘unsubscribe’ so it stops the stuff coming again. Yes it will take a few precious minutes but one less thing to deal with and you get the space once you have let go. Same with post – why are we so quick to chuck it out but not actually return to sender to stop the cycle completely. Again well worth the few seconds it takes to do this simple action. Big picture is less paper wasted and going into landfill or recycling.

        We sometimes don’t even realise that we can actually let go of struggle in our life. Like everything else it is a choice.

  9. I am understanding that I do not trust the world enough to let go. When I feel the concept of letting go there is relief and fear mixed. The relief is amazing, my body melts, tears flow, and I know this is the way. I also understand that sometimes things need to fall apart, so why is it so hard to let go?

    With support from Simple Living Global, l am starting to feel the support that has always been there. As I feel this support, I am starting to let go and trust that everything will be ok.

  10. I decided after reading this blog that I want to let go of my need to control life. Since I am so good at doing things to achieve a goal, I decided that I would just let go. I found that this did not work because I was trying to let go. So I am slowly getting it that I do not have to “do” anything to let go. That belief is what is in my way. So I am saying to myself that I do not have do anything to let go, and slowly it is sinking in. It feels incredible to actually believe that I don’t have to do anything to let go, just be me!

    1. Control is a big one Ken for many of us in the world today and we want things our way so we do our best and make sure we manipulate the situation or do whatever it takes so it works out just how the picture in our head wants. Living a life where the images in our mind is the end goal leaves our body in a state of tension and hardness.
      What is it and WHY are we wanting to control?
      Could it be possible that we have a picture of how we want things to be or turn out and so we make sure we do what we can to have that outcome?
      Could it be possible that if it does not then we react?
      Could it be possible that underneath this control is deep hurt?
      Is this way off and just too much for most of us now to even contemplate?

  11. Why do humans have such a hard time with letting go? It is an essential part of our world that things change. I have watched sheep give birth to a lamb and then for some reason totally refuse to take care of it. Nothing that I did could change the fact that that mom did not feel it was worth it to take care of the lamb, It just totally abandoned it. Heartless you may think, but I grew to trust the sheeps wisdom when it came to producing lambs.

    When a mother bird loses its babbys to a preditor, it does everything in its power to prevent it, but when it happens it just moves on and builds another nest. No attachment, just get on with it.

    Do animals have a more intelligent way of dealing with loss? Many humans spend there whole life dealing with a hurt.

    The concept that everything happens for a reason, is something humans need to consider. It allows us to look at a situation and be open to a possible message that is there.

  12. Part of my inability to let go is I feel safer with what is familiar, no matter how not loving it may be.

    I was sitting outside in the sun and a diesel truck went by and I got a whiff of diesel exhaust. This smell, although toxic to my body, brought me back to a exciting time of my life when I was a commercial fisherman. However the smell of diesel exhaust used to make my seasickness worse when I was out on the ocean and being seasick is a extremely unpleasant experience, yet when I smelled the exhaust today and knew that it was yucky, it still brought back a feeling of comfort.

    I sat with this feeling and realized that it felt comfortable because it was familiar.

    I am getting more connected to a place inside of me that feels so familiar that it brings tears of joy and relief. And it has always been there and always will, and no one can take it away from me. No more looking outside of myself for answers, I have everything I need inside me, just waiting for me.

  13. I loved reading this blog, much to learn about letting go of things that no longer serve us and keep us prisoners in these hurts.

    I certainly was a hoarder of emotions and no amount of high fibre helped me let go of them!

    I have seen so many people harp on about the past and I was no different, whining about the past didn’t get me anywhere and to be honest I didn’t see the positive in anything, I didn’t like being around me.

    My life turned around in 2014, I started to learn so much about myself and hanging onto things was not helping my life, I had to make the decision to take responsibility and commit to it.

    Emotions was high on my bucket list and things have started to shift as I started to Iet go of emotions, alcohol, diary, gluten and many other things. I still have a way to go but I made the decision, I’m not turning back to my old ways – absolutely no way.

  14. It’s the 27th today – a ‘9’ day if you add up the numbers. Today I’ll be ‘relinquishing my grip’ on life needing to look a certain way or myself in it. Let’s see what it’s like if I just allow it to be what it is and really let myself see all the unnecessary needs and complications.

  15. Thank you Simple Living Global for another very insightful blog.

    Thanks also to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I know from personal experience that letting go of my emotions, my deep hurts and expressing more of how I was feeling helped in losing weight. I have lost over 12 stone in weight and looking at what I was eating had a huge impact on my weight but it got to a point where the weight loss stagnated and I wasn’t losing any more weight. What I found very interesting was that when I truly started to express what I was feeling and not hold back on what I wanted to say, the weight loss continued.

    For me, that was a clear sign that ‘Letting Go’ is more than just going to the toilet.

    Holding onto our emotions or deep hurts is no different than holding onto a stack of old newspapers, magazines or anything else that we may choose to hoard and clutter up our homes with.

    Once we have let go of anything that we are holding onto, the energy release is amazing.

    For me, once I had let go of clutter or expressed an old hurt or feeling, I felt so much lighter in myself, I would sleep better and it gave me more energy.

    To make sure our home is never cluttered anymore, my wife and I regularly visit areas of our home, the units in the kitchen, cupboards, wardrobes, shoes, etc. and review what we have. If it hasn’t been used for a long time we will let it go or if it has worn out or looks shabby, we will let it go and/or buy a new one if it needs replacing. We have been doing this for around 8 years now.

    As this blog says, ‘Letting Go’ is so much more than getting rid of clutter or toilet business.
    If we choose to look deep enough and be honest about our emotions, feelings, relationships and friends, we may find that what we thought was something that we couldn’t do without was actually the very thing we need to ‘Let Go’ of.

    1. That’s a fantastic approach and a great tip – to review the different areas of the house regularly.

      I can vouch for the feeling of lightness at letting go of clutter and having a good clear out. I have gradually been clearing out the ‘stuff’ I have accumulated over the years and with each layer that goes, it’s like taking off a heavy old coat. It not only creates space in the house but the body somehow feels lighter too.

      I cleared out our loft storage yesterday and binned so much stuff – mostly ‘just in case’ and ‘remember when’ and ‘not sure, let’s deal with it later’ stuff. All of it gone. When my eldest son came home and saw the space he said ‘wow, this room can really breathe now’.

      Says it all really.

    2. Love your comment Tim. It’s incredible what expressing feelings and letting go of old emotions can do, for you it continued your weight loss, for me it stopped my migraines and the feelings of frustration and resentment because I had not expressed what was there. Also letting go of wanting to be in control has been a big one for me and as I have done this it has been an eye opener as to how much I have wanted to be in control.

      As I let go of old emotions, behaviours, patterns in me I find I am more accepting of myself, have far less expectations from life or attachments to outcomes, I have much more energy, feel lighter and I have joy in my life . Letting go is powerful stuff and I love how my body responds and feels from doing this.

  16. Right on Tim! I feel that all the letting go of all the feelings I have not wanted to feel in my life, is a huge factor in my healing process. And letting go of feelings and emotions are just feeling them.

    I am so much less reactive to life.
    Less tension in my body.
    Surrendering to life. Trusting that I am ok.
    So much easier to accept things and understand why they happen.
    Trusting myself that it is ok to feel everything and that my body knows how to deal with it.
    I do not have too do anything just let go and be me.
    There is so much support if I let go of any pictures of how I think life should be.

  17. I have lived a very physical life. Worked outside and loved playing sports and because of this, I have fallen and hurt myself a number times.

    I came to understand that when I fall, like when I am skiing, I hurt myself less if I just relax and just allow myself to fall.
    If my body is tight, holding on, it is less flexible and less able to absorb the impact.

    I am bringing this realisation to other parts of my life. Letting go and trusting that I do not have to be hard and forceful to get through life.
    Maybe let things fall apart. Surrendering to myself and my body. This gives me access to all the support and love that is all around, just waiting for me.

  18. I am understanding the power of letting go of how I think things should be.
    If I am attached to how my day will go, I limit the unlimited possibilities that are available.

    I had things I needed to do, but something happened that changed my priorities. So I stopped, decided to just go with the flow, not react to the change. This choice totally changed my experience of the day.

    Not only was it less stressful but it allowed my day to evolve more naturally. I drove slower, got all the green lights, got to talk with a beautiful woman at the store, found everything I needed, everything just felt right.

    It also allows me to see and feel all the amazingness that is surrounding me. Wow, that’s how to live!

  19. The one thing we can always count on is that things will change. No matter how much we resist. The resistance just causes us pain.

    This concept has helped me in the later part of my life to look at things that happen in my life as a message.
    If I can listen to the message then it will go because I do not need it anymore.

    When I can do this it helps me not react, which distorts the message and then I have to get the message again.

    Maybe that is why we want to hang onto stuff because deep down we feel there is a message there.

    So be open to all that happens in our lives, understand that it happened for reason, we are all learning and listen to the message, then let it go.

  20. I recently requested a skype session with the author of this blog, to get some support around making a change in jobs and a place to live.

    I asked her why we have not sold our RV camper.
    Her response was – “could it be possible that we have not totally let go of it”?

    This question helped me go deeper and I realized there was a part of me that was hanging on to the RV, just in case we needed it.

    It was a huge realization about being really honest about making a choice. If you really want to let go of something you have to go all the way.

    It really is all about committing to Life. Letting go of the past, live the future now. Go for it!

  21. I found for many years Letting Go of stuff was very HARD. I would spend 24 hours a day on an endless cycle of BLAME, ANGER and most of all Not Loving myself at all.

    Over the past 7 years I have spent learning to Connect to my Body more and by doing this has enabled me to Let Go of stuff alot easier. I have noticed that if I HANG ON to something it is not usually about that person who has upset me but something inside me that I have not resolved.

    As a human race it so easy to BLAME someone else for what is going wrong in our life. You only have to look outward into the world to see that.

    Letting go is not just about the emotional stuff but also a wake up call to look at how we Truly Live on a daily basis. We cant spend a life time holding on to Hurts and expect our body to be OK. It is not only a waste of time but all we do is HARM ourself and others.

  22. I was just talking to someone today about this letting go business and how it really is a process. I don’t think it is that easy to just do it in one go as things – items that we collect, hoard or simply hold onto – tend to have some form of attachment and most of us may not even be aware of it.

    As a serial collector of nonsense, as that is what is comes down to, I feel I am an expert to talk about this subject. Not because I have studied the ins and outs and got some theory to bang on about, but simply because it is lived experience.

    What came to mind was collecting these bone china animals that cost a bomb and are simply for a show cabinet. All that dusting and then adding to the collection was such a drain but somehow I was attached and I knew that. I was actually addicted to shopping and this collection was just one of many things. What a total utter waste looking back.

    There was no purpose and what’s the point and who for and WHY?

    Asking questions and asking why on earth I did what I did got me to where I am today.

    I call myself a work in progress as this is what my life is all about. I am forever reviewing and refining what we have in our home and the grand news is there is zero need to fill up the space if I let go of something.

    If it truly supports then yes, but as life is constantly evolving and we are consistently changing, this reviewing stuff makes sense.

    I sometimes look and feel something is no longer serving me and I let it go. It can be a cardigan or a saucepan that is simply not needed.

    What I do at this point is feel if there is someone who would benefit and then give it to them.

    I am blown away from the feedback and I realise this has changed people’s lives. My stuff is in such great condition and I know others feel the value and quality that I hold and regard everything I own. To me every item deserves to have that deep care that I have for myself.

    1. This is inspiring Bina, that you give everything you own the deep care you give yourself. I can feel how everyone that is given something from you gets so much more than the item you have given them by the quality you live and bring to everything. How amazing would it be if we all did this..

  23. Simple Living Global has supported me to understand, nominate, and let go of many of my beliefs and issues, that have got in the way of me being me and getting on with my life.

    This is an on going process, but it has relieved much of the anxiety, stress, and body tension I have created in my life by holding on to all that stuff.

    It basically is a process of truly feeling what is happening and allowing the body to deal with it. Trusting that I am able to deal with what ever is happening or happened in the past.

    This had been a life changing process. I feel our beliefs and issues are the main reason why we have not been able to make any true change in the world.

    What Simple Living Global is presenting is not new or complicated. It is common sense. Check it out.

  24. If our world could let go of the concept that we know better what other people need, or that we can control what other people say, it would totally relieve all the tension in the world. Probably there would be no more wars.

    Yes, it is important to question what other people are doing or saying, but we need to be open to another way of looking at things. Honoring the fact that everyone we meet has something to teach us.

    When we have pictures of how things should be it just sets us up to suffer, and miss the opportunities life is presenting to us all the time.

  25. We could call this a co-incidence but as this happens more often I am certain there is more to this number numerology stuff.
    Without clocking it at the time, my husband clears out under the kitchen sink unit. Stuff going – letting go and a clean and tidy up. This constant reviewing and refining is normal in our life and we love it. Bit like letting go of heavy baggage and having a freedom of movement as you no longer have it to weigh you down.

    Same day a bit later, I just had to get on that phone of mine and let go, let go of photos and I stopped at 198. That is huge in itself and speaks volumes considering how long I did have them hanging around. I asked what’s the purpose and was there a point and it just got simple and easy to discern what was needed and what was not. There was no dilly dallying and the ‘just incase syndrome’ was not even close to the radar.

    Amazing if you ask me and then the penny dropped.
    It was 27th yesterday and as this blog talks about the number 9 what I got was ‘AH that’s why this letting go was so easy and effortless’.

    Call me nuts or way off or out there with the fairies – I don’t think so.

    There is most certainly something in the science of numerology but I reckon very few would even contemplate it right now as it does bring in that word, which runs through the heart of this website called RESPONSIBILITY.

  26. I was walking with my 2 year old grandson or following is more accurate, and he wandered up a hill that had a steep bank on the other side. I did not get there fast enough and and he started down the bank by himself (no fear). He fell and tumbled down the bank. I reached him and he was crying but l realized he was physical un- hurt.

    I looked at the bank he fell down and was amazed how he did not hurt himself. There were sharp rocks and debris everywhere. How did he manage to avoid all the rocks?

    Children seem to have natural protection that allows them to experience things without really hurting themselves. How do they do that?

    If we can live without fear there is a level of intelligence that can keep us connected to the world. Allowing us to flow with things rather then fight life.

    In my life l have learned when I fall, (l love to ski, skate, play sports etc.) if l am tense l am more likely to hurt myself. But if I let go and relax (not fight it) it is not a big deal. Just a learning.

    So let go, do not be afraid of falling. Falling is how we truly learn about life.
    This is all about living your life around love rather then fear. It allows you to truly experience all the amazingness of being human!

  27. Recently I have been looking at things I am still holding on to. In particular my cupboards.

    Why have I got stuff that I don’t use anymore? What purpose does it serve? Well nothing!

    What I have noticed by Letting Go of stuff my body Feels so much lighter and things Feel alot Clearer.

  28. I know in the past that holding on for me was a bit like a comfort blanket for me – it was familiar and easy to be around.

    However over the years I started to realise that holding on to stuff was making me sick and I could not move forward with anything.
    Spending my days getting angry at things or people if things were going wrong.

    Letting go gives us the space to just be ourselves and discarding the nonsense that is not us.

    I love this blog.

  29. Thank you for this absolutely super blog.

    I like to let stuff go – whether it’s clutter, clothes that no longer fit, or beliefs and concepts that do not serve me.

    There is so much more that I could let go of in my life but I have realised that the more attached I am to something, the harder it is for me to release.

    I have noticed something about letting go. Each time I let go of something physical or a mental attachment, I feel lighter and a sense of increased space. I feel more spacious and lighter inside. With these feelings of lightness and space, sometimes I can also feel joy bubble up from within me.

    What’s great is the more spacious inside and light I feel, the more I feel like I’m being the real me.

    It’s so fascinating to me that the more I let go of what is not needed in my life, the more like the real me I feel – light, spacious inside and full of joy.

  30. Reflecting on another great year of letting go, I realise how far I have come in the Letting Go department and there is always more, as I review and refine things that are no longer needed or do not serve me in my life.

    Last week, I increased my focus and made a commitment to clear out more ‘stuff’ and deep clean of course. I was fully aware it was coming up to the end of the year and I know doing this regular discarding of what no longer has purpose, makes sense.

    What I always find is how this creates space and the quality of this space feels light.

    I no longer have a need to fill up that new space with things, so the space supports me as I feel more settled inside my body, like there is no tension feeling.

    Whilst letting go of some things, I think back to when I bought it and why and what was going on in my life at the time and why I still have it. All of this for me is part of the process. What I find in the end is how much I no longer want to live with things and how little I actually need and how content that makes me feel.

    I have very few clothes now and it somehow feels enough. There is no intention of ever buying another wardrobe or chest of drawers, but what I am finding is having less gives a lot of space and it feels true.

    This applies to other areas of the house too. The less is more works and not having a desire to replace things as I let go is key for me going forward. This continual reviewing and refining is needed, if we want to keep expanding and evolving and I am living proof of that.

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