Listening to Other People

Dear World

WHY do we choose to listen to other people?
WHY do we think we need to listen to other people?
WHY do other people tell us to listen to other people?
WHY do we always think other people have the answer?

WHY does listening to other people take us off track?
WHY does listening to other people land us in hot water?
WHY does listening to other people bug us so much?
WHY does listening to other people take us on a merry go round?

WHY are we listening to other people, then blame them?
WHY are we listening to other people, then criticize them?
WHY are we listening to other people, then judge them?
WHY are we listening to other people, then cursing them?

WHY do we listen to other people and become –

Angry
Frustrated
Bitter
Sad
Jealous
Depressed
Fed up
Stressed

Could it be possible that when we are Listening to other people, something changes inside us, even if we are not aware of it?

Could it be possible that Listening to other people disturbs or unsettles us inside and can be very subtle?

Could it be possible that Listening to other people can be inspiring and we feel expanded and have more space inside us?

Time to get real and get honest

How often do we stop and clock how we feel when we are listening to other people?

How often do we listen to someone talking twaddle and simply nod like we agree?

How often do we disagree when we are listening, but keep our mouth shut and swallow our words?

How often do we want to tell someone to simply shut up, but we let them rattle on?

How often do we just accept someone rambling on and switch off from what they are saying?

How often do we pay little or no attention to someone and pretend we are listening?

How often do we listen to nonsense when we know we need to cut it by saying something?

How often do we have the answers for someone droning on but we simply hold back and say nothing?

How often do we listen to other people because we want them to like us?

How often do we go along with what another is saying, so we don’t rock the boat?

How often do we feel disturbed when those closest say something, but we need to play nice and polite, as that’s what we do?

How often do we go into reaction when someone talks and presses our buttons?

How often do we listen to people then pick up the phone and bad mouth them?

How often do we listen to someone because they have letters before or after their name?

How often do we listen to other people who recommend someone but they are not really what we want?

How often do we listen to other people and take action because we want to be just like them?

How often do we listen to other people because we want to copy their lifestyle?

 How often do we go into comparison when we are listening to someone who is very inspiring, by the way they live?

How often do we feel self-fury when we are listening to another who has clearly made choices in their life that we have not made?

Would it be true to say that by Listening to other people, we allow an outer influence to shape our lives in some way?
In other words, we do not use our own inner compass to discern what is Truth and what is not. Instead we go along with what another has to say, so we give our power away to them.

What if we listen to our parents who want us to follow their dream and not stand up for the Truth we feel?

What if we listen to our parents and please them even when we are in our 40’s?

What if we listen to our neighbours when we know it is nonsense?

What if we end up listening to others and never get over the hurt?

What if we listen to others because of our fear?

What if we listen to others because we just want to please?

What if we listen to others because we want to impress?

What if we listen to others just to get the job promotion?

What if we listen to others because we want to get it right?

What if we listen to others because we think they are better than us?

What if we listen to others because of their job title?

What if we listen to others because of their position in society?

What if we choose to listen to others at the detriment of our health and well-being?

Coming from lived experience, I can say that listening to other people can land us in deep water without a paddle.
My spiritual new age investments in so called top speakers and presenters around the world, cost me loads and not just financially. Read this blog for more –
https://truthaboutuniversalmedicine.com/2013/03/08/from-spiritual-addiction-to-simple-truth/

Going into reaction and jumping on the bandwagon, just because we see what we think is a ‘successful’ presenter with a big audience, does not make it the Truth as I learned after 25 years.
Just because someone says something or recommends or advises, what can or will work, does not necessarily mean it is the Truth.

We each have a RESPONSIBILITY to learn and develop how to feel what is true and what is not and that way we cannot get fooled.

What can work is to ask questions and keep asking questions, when we feel something whilst listening to other people.

If we feel absolutely nothing, then it is wise to ask ‘WHY do we feel numb?’
No questions = no change.

Could it be possible that when we choose to not listen to what our body is saying, we shut down the messages that are impulsed from our inner-most heart?

Could it be possible that if we start to listen to what our body is communicating then we can truly listen to another?

Could it be possible that if we started to listen to our body it would put us on the right track to discern others?

Could it be possible that if we choose to connect to our body first, we can then feel what is true and what is not when LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE?

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Comments 32

  1. Yes, staying present with yourself when you are listening to someone is the way to truly listen.
    Every conversation with someone is a setup, an opportunity to connect and learn. But if you are just waiting to talk rather than really listening, you can miss what is being presented to you.

    There is so much that is being offered to support me, in all parts of my life and all I need to do is truly listen and be open to another way.

  2. So why do we listen to another person, or news or anything?

    I have spent a lot of time listening, because I have too. Mostly in school. When I have to listen it makes it very difficult to focus on what is being said, and get anything out of it. And it makes me resentful.

    The other reason that I learned as a child, is listening out of respect. Or listening so that person will like you, that you care what they say.

    As I grew older, I have tried to listen to everyone that I meet, treating them as an equal, honoring what they are saying, which to me is giving them space to express what they feel. This can be very challenging at times, but I find if I give them my whole attention and do not feed them back what I think they want to hear, it can be amazing exchange.

    If I can not get caught up in what is being said and focus on really being present in the situation, I can truly listen, because there is so much more going on than just words.

    1. You are truly a good listener Ken; I hope everyone can learn what it is like to be heard.

      It is a very different experience speaking with you because you really do pay attention,
      You are not just agreeing, waiting to talk or trying to be liked; you are you with me.

      I learn so much conversing with you because you are open and you stay true to what you feel, so by that nature, you then are true to me.

  3. I was raised to respect my elders and be polite above all.

    This can be very damaging, as you push down what you are really feeling and you stop questioning.

    It’s great to take a fresh look at the subject of listening and how much of an influence it has on our behaviours.

  4. I went to a workshop and I did an exercise with another person. I had five minutes to say anything I wanted to say, but I did not have to say anything. The other person just listened. Then we switched roles.

    This was a scary thing to do for me because I have felt that I never knew what to say in a social situation and I felt I needed to say something.

    It was an incredible experience to have this space just for me, to say anything. To have someone there just to listen to me.

    The most powerful part of this experience was when I choose not to speak. At first it was uncomfortable but eventually it allowed a level of connection and real communication to happen that could not have happened if I was talking.

    These people I did the exercise with were strangers and I know very little about there lives but the level of connection I felt to these people through this 15 minute experience is deeper than most of my “close” relationships.

    1. What a concept Ken; to listen to a person even if they are not speaking, even if they can’t find their words or when they do speak to listen to them beyond the words they use.

      The fact that you experienced a connection or closeness beyond most relationships you had after only 15 minutes of truly listening to each other is a huge lesson about the power of listening with openness.

      Is this not about really ‘being with someone’, is this not about truly meeting each other?
      Why have we made this such a rare experience when we all want it so?

  5. There are whole books written on the skill and art of listening.

    Perhaps we’ve lost our connection with it so much that we need to relearn it.

    For me, listening is very much about connecting with the other person and it is about equality – knowing that we all have equal access to wisdom.

  6. I have been increasingly aware, thanks to the truthfulness of Simple Living Global and the work I have been doing to get to the bottom of the discord within myself, that I have been listening to others, as an excuse not to take Responsibility.
    I have not wanted to ‘take charge’ of myself or my life.

    I have listened to others ‘over’ listening to myself for a very long time and it has made my life to be a very unhappy inside out way of existing.

    I have listened to others instead of claiming myself in full.
    Now that I see and feel what I’ve been doing there is no going back, only forward, connecting to and bringing out the wisdom and power that I have always had inside me.

  7. Your experience, Ken, turns our current model of family and friends on its head.

    That you can feel so connected with someone, simply by them listening to you and not expecting anything.

    This can serve as an inspiration to all of us.

  8. Superb blog. There is so much in this I relate to. I have been a big ‘listen to’ person most of my life, giving my power away in many directions, listening to what others say rather than my own knowing.

    Over the last few years I have been changing this by connecting to my body, learning to listen to it’s messages and how I feel about something. What is remarkable is there is such a clear knowing in the body and it really is such a true guide. I don’t get it right all the time and still listen to outside of me, but much much less now and life has changed considerably from it.. My confidence and trust has grown, in myself and in the world. I now know the answers are within me, all I have to do is listen.

    How much do we listen to each other, to adverts, advise, opinions? I know it has certainly got me into some pickles.. but listening to my body changes my choices and things turn round.

  9. Listening to what people or media are saying is how our world is. Focusing on the words and what they mean. This is what we were taught in school.

    This way of listening limits our awareness of what is really being communicated. When we are a baby, we communicated quite well without words.

    I feel we have gotten away from this level of communication because we do not trust our own natural ability to feel what is going on and what is needed.

    We have been giving our power away to a book or an “expert”, because we are afraid we do not know the answer.

    We are afraid because we have disconnected from our own inner knowingness that is “listening” to everything that is going on all the time.

  10. I had an experience yesterday of what it’s like to really listen.

    A group of us were discussing something and I didn’t get what they were talking about. The conversation was stilted and I didn’t feel fully in it.

    I was frowning hard and realised I was trying to keep up and I wanted to be the one to say something smart. I decided to sit back and just listen for a while.

    Just listening, without a goal in my head or worrying about looking stupid, was a game changer. The conversation started to flow.

    I wonder how many of us in conversations get stuck trying to be something and get held back by what we think people will think.

  11. One thing I have learned from raising children is that if you listen to them, they are more likely to listen to you. A great realization for life.

    It is so easy to really listen to what our world considers an expert, and consider what they are saying. I feel this is because of our education system that does not value what an uneducated person might say.

    It took me awhile to get there because of my belief that I knew more about life than my children, but by really listening to my children, they have taught me things I could not have received any other way.

  12. It has always been uncomfortable for me to try to communicate with someone who does not speak english. I get anxious and in the past and I would avoid the situation. I understand now it is because I have totally relied on words to communicate.

    I am now living in a new place where many people do not speak english. I am understanding that it is opportunity to go deeper in my communication skills. If I can stay with myself, not get attached to the outcome, and really meet the person, it is amazing the level of connection that is possible without understanding the words.

    It brings the concept of what listening is all about to a new level.

    It shows me that every situation in life is presenting me an opportunity to evolve if I am open to it.

  13. This is a great blog to return to today as I deliberate a decision.. it’s reminding me to come back to my body and it’s wisdom, listen, then feel what is true.. my own guidance and knowing will be there.

  14. I would often sit in meetings at work and REACT to what was being said and then leave the meeting and still be in Reaction days later. I never used to Listen what was being said and was often selective with what I wanted to hear. I would often BLAME the person I reacted to because I didnt like what was being said.

    The last few years I have been working on this and it has been a Revelation to say the least. The author of this blog has really helped me with this. By Listening and Feeling what is being Said Yes you Know instantly if this feels True or Not.

    From a young age I had no Trust in people or situations and this continued up until a few years ago. How was it possible to Listen to anyone and Feel for Myself if it was True to me. It was not possible at All. By Taking RESPONSIBILITY for my behaviour this has enabled me to develop relationships with people at all levels and learn to listen rather than react.

    This blog is a great reminder that if we Stop Blaming others for Listening to them when it all goes wrong and take Responsibility for our own choices rather giving your power away to other people. Just because someone says this is Right does not mean it is!

  15. I am questioning more and more all the things I have heard and assumed were true.

    I feel if goes back to school were I was taught that what the teacher says is true. I understand now that this is part of my resistance to school. As a a child I knew that some of what the teacher said was wrong, but I felt that in order to survive I had to go against my inner knowing.

    To ignore this inner voice takes a lot of energy. I feel this is why I have been exhausted all my life.

    With support from Simple Living Global and Universal Medicine I am getting back to myself. Remembering that inner wisdom that never left me and honoring myself that I know when something is wrong and what I say does make a difference.

  16. I was just thinking about how we are listening to other people when we read what they write. So someone could be writing utter lies online and there are some of us who will jump on the bandwagon and take it like it is true. Bingo.
    We are listening and not discerning whether it is the Truth or not.

    We do that when we read stories from the media, magazines, books etc.
    How are we so sure that listening to what others say actually is supporting us?
    In some way we could just be going up the wrong path.

    I know I was one of those listening to all the spiritual leaders and gurus who I thought were talking the Truth and it turned out the whole lot was a load of twaddle and I only know that now since I have stopped listening to other people and if I do, I have this inbuilt compass, like a radar and I just know.

    Of course I am not always bang on but most times I just know and it has come from choosing to live a deeply self connecting life.

    It makes sense and I am not far off or way out as I can smell Truth and that to me is lies stink and my job is stop judging others and keep observing how this world operates.

    Gone are the days where I blindly listen to others or hang around when I know it is a load of nonsense. Some polite people would say that’s rude, I call it real.

  17. Yes, Bina, it is critical that we do not just assume that what we are reading or hearing is true. Feeling what is true for us is the only way we can really know what is going on.

    At first this concept of feeling what is the truth, seemed impossible for me to do. But with patience and commitment I am realizing that I have always known what is right and wrong, I have just lost trust in myself.

    Words have always confused me because it seemed like people could twist them around to mean whatever they want.
    Now if I can stay with myself and feel what that person is presenting, I can make a better decision about what to believe.

    This concept can totally change our world. There is so much worthless stuff being presented in our world. If we can decipher what is really true by feeling (which we can), that is the way forward.

    This idea of feeling the truth was first presented to me by Serge Benhayon. He said “Do not believe anything I say unless it feels true to you”.

    1. Re-reading your comment Ken, I can really relate to it with a real life example yesterday when someone talked about the effects of having a certain essential oil in our face and body products. I did listen and of course the source where they got the information from was in my opinion true. However, it did not completely resonate inside my body.

      This is where the words you quote about it feeling true comes in.
      I got home and started with a hand cream and yes it had this oil in it. To be honest I rarely use it but nevertheless I thought do I throw it out in reaction or do I get to the stage where I can feel my own body rejecting it.

      My husband has been using the same product this person was saying No to and yet he has no intention of suddenly changing and reading his ingredients on what his bath product choices are. Yes this is detail and Yes this is necessary at some point in our life – but what if we are not actually there yet in our awareness?

      Are we listening to other people and making our choices, or are we listening to our own body which will tell us loud and clear when we are ready if something is affecting us?

      My take is when we come from our head – in other words knowledge it stays there and does not really offer a true change. So when someone stops using something because they listened to another person then it cannot be the truth. When another asks then our response would be coming with empty words because it came from the head and not our own lived experience.

      The same applies to food. I have heard a thousand times and more what I should and should not be eating to support my evolution – do I pay attention?
      Not really as the best way for me that works is to work it out myself with my body telling me so and that way it stays off the radar forever. A great example of this would be chocolate or alcohol – both which were consumed in the past in excess.

      Listening to other people really requires us to discern and that way it becomes our own truth because it is coming from lived experience and not our head saying this and that.

  18. I have been feeling not listening too lately. It has brought up feelings of my childhood where I felt no one was listening to me. I stopped and felt these feelings and with some tears of sadness they gradually went away.

    I have been carrying these feelings of nobody cares about me for a long time. I did not want to let these feelings of being hurt go because I wanted somebody to fix them for me.

    Going deeper I am understanding that although I have a right to be listened too, it is impossible to make someone listen to me. This realization helped me understand that a need to take more responsibility for what happened. And possibly that there is a deeper sadness of not listening to myself.

    This whole process of understanding what is really going on in a situation, is the result of the support I have received from Simple Living Global and Universal Medicine.

    Dealing with all these unfelt hurts has turned my life around. My exhaustion is gone, I am feeling ready to go out and do what ever is asked of me to support my brothers and sisters in the world.

  19. I caught myself the other day listening to someone and accepting what they said yet I could feel right then that this was not true for me, yet I still listened to them.
    It felt so uncomfortable in my body, I could not settle.
    When I got my clarity with it and looked at why I listened over my own knowing I was able to let it go and learn from the experience.. and when the opportunity presents I will speak my truth.

  20. I have never felt as frustrated and mad as I did when I felt my young children were not listening to me and not doing what I said.

    I had been good at holding back my feelings in my life, so this episode really sticks out for me. And I feel shame for subjecting my children to it.

    My children helped me understand that no matter what you say you can not force someone to do what you want. This was a big realization for me and helped me understand that yes, I should say what I feel, but if I have any attachment to the outcome I am setting myself up for struggle.

    The key is to live your life in way that shows people a way that works for you, and understand that it is their choice to do it or not.
    Actions speak louder than words and sometimes they are easier to listen too.

  21. Is it possible that listening to other people can lead us to war?

    Listening to other people can get us into all sorts of trouble.

    Quite a few years ago, I listened to someone and ended up having a fight with a friend of mine.

    I had bought a new pair of light brown Timberland boots and he thought it would be funny to stamp on them. It left a large scuff mark that never came off. Another friend who witnessed it, said to me “Oh man, you’re not going to take that are you?”

    Because I listened to him, I then went to confront the boot stomper.

    It didn’t quite turn into fisticuffs as other people stepped in but there were tables upended and harsh words thrown about.

    As this blog says, we each have a responsibility to learn to discern what is truth or what is not.

    In this instance, I chose not to discern but react and in doing so I was easily influenced by someone else.

    I suppose this is what we could call a microcosm event but it is easy to see how it doesn’t even have to be a macrocosm event, to turn into war.

  22. This ‘listening to other people’ really does require us to discern before we go jumping on the bandwagon about something or someone.

    A real life thing happened this week where someone I know got told by some bigwig, who knows what’s what when it comes to perfume spraying that we are not to spray it on our wrists and rub wrists. I walked away thinking how come I did not feel like taking action.

    Next day perfumes gets sprayed on the wrist and I thought if there is some unspoken law against doing that, so be it as it made no difference to me.

    However, when a friend came to stay with me and knew what’s what when it came to teeth flossing, I was interested and inspired as it all made sense. Since then I started flossing my teeth in the evening and can feel the benefits.

    Could it be possible that when we listen to other people, if they are truly walking the walk and talking the talk, it holds a quality – a vibration so to speak that offers us the same if we choose?

    In other words, they are not coming from circulating words from others that are not being lived so it holds no value and this is what we feel, even if we may not be aware of it.

    It’s high time we started to wake up to who we are choosing to listen to and WHY.

    If we are subscribing to anyone with what they are saying, a wise question would be to ask – what quality are they living consistently everyday and is this something that deeply inspires you?

    For me, unless I can feel that absolute quality, forget it as I will not listen, as I know where it is coming from as my body knows when something is real and when it is not.

  23. Giving my power away to other people:

    In the past I did a lot of “searching”.
    I thought I needed something or someone to fix me…
    I was avoiding taking responsibility for what I knew and felt inside.

    I often notice that many of us are more willing to ‘buy’ lies about something (be influenced by advertising , news reports or scientific based findings) being ‘OK’ or ‘good’ so we can rationalize having it (as we feel we need it).

    An example is how willing the masses are to believe the reports that chocolate and red wine have health benefits without wanting to see (feel) that the detriments outweigh what ‘good’ was tested to be in the grapes and the pure bitter chocolate…

  24. This listening to other people can be applied to audio – so we have music and we listen to the person singing and what is it that we take on?

    What about all those songs written from another who is hurting, venting, hurling abuse at another – how do we take that on?

    What happens to us inside our body when we listen to music?
    I wonder how many of us have stopped and considered that question.

    I know I found many musicians really ‘hooking’ me when it comes to their music and when I bought a CD kept playing it.
    I realised I was listening to another person in my head, even at night keeping me awake.

    No surprise the next day I heard on the radio that this person wrote that particular song while they were “completely stoned”.
    If we read between the lines, is this telling us something?

    I sure learned my lesson and these days very little hooks me in as I feel it and just simply move and switch the thing off.

    Of course I can’t do this in a supermarket, department store or restaurant but just choosing not to engage with the outer noises seems easy now.

    Our world is full of distractions and the best thing that has worked for me is to learn to listen to me. To do that I simply need to connect and feel my body as it really does know what’s best.

  25. Metro News – 16 August 2017

    A study finds that 2 in 3 parents hand down the same pearls of wisdom to their children that they were told and these include –
    get an education
    if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything
    you don’t get something for nothing
    practice makes perfect

    Are these really pearls of wisdom?
    Are they out dated?
    Are our youth bothering to pay attention?

    Is getting an education taken to the extreme where it is regarded as so important but there is little or no regard for the body?
    Is saying something nice, being honest and truthfull?

    If we are being nice are we willing to negate what really needs to be expressed?
    Is being nice feeling like it holds no purpose or value?

    What about being perfect?
    Do we need to realise that perfect is an unattainable goal?
    Are we setting our kids up to fail with these so called ‘pearls of wisdom’?
    How can our kids ‘practice makes perfect’, when we as adults have stuffed up and are way off from being perfect?
    Is this practice makes perfect a demand that falls well short of truth?

    Is asking questions a good ‘pearl of wisdom’?
    Is the word RESPONSIBILITY for every choice we make worth adding as a pearl of wisdom to pass down?

    Are we as parents struggling with being nice as we know it sucks and the other person knows and feels that too, so it’s just a game we play?

    Is this ‘you don’t get something for nothing’ an ideal or a belief that is well past its sell by date as there is no such thing?

    Is this pearl of wisdom fooling us and stopping us from learning about being open to giving and receiving?

    What if we have got it all wrong and true pearls of wisdom would not have these on the list?

  26. I was listening to someone recently telling me how much they appreciated me and how inspired they were. At the time I first thought this is hot talk and was very dismissive. I then thought maybe they are genuine but this is someone I have not fully trusted in the past, so who knows where this is really coming from. I then made a choice. I went with how my body felt and it was not really taking it in like it was truth.

    Few days later I get an email from this same person and it made me think, we really need to stop and discern in every moment when we choose to listen to another person. If you heard what was said face to face and listened to that vibration it was polar opposite to the quality of vibration that I was hearing from the email, which in my words I would call utter nonsense, because it was like it was someone else writing and not the person who was speaking a few days earlier.

    Life would be a lot more simple if people got consistent in the way they express and then when we listen it would feel same same and not disturbing. Maybe one day the world and its brothers will learn to communicate and express in a way that is steady and not disturbing.

  27. There is a lot to be said when I sit back and listen rather than react to what is being said in that moment. I know when something does not sit right with me because I feel it in my body. I spent many years over riding that feeling and it was not good.

    The last 18 months I have been exploring this. I do not always get it right. But what I do know is that over ride no longer works!

  28. A man was having a seething row over the phone with his partner on the train yesterday.

    It was clear they were not listening to each other.

    I then watched a news interview my husband showed me of a wise man trying to get his point across to a journalist who wanted to twist his words. On one side at least, there was no true listening there either.

    It is like our minds filter the truth and give it a flavour that feeds our entrenched beliefs and our ideals and our hurts.

    And it’s like we want to be understood before we can truly listen to another.

    My kids’ wise God mother introduced to our house an ‘understanding hat’. Whether you have a hat or not, when there is tension with another, you put on (metaphorically or actually) your understanding hat and seek to be wise as to where they are coming from.

    This is a game changing technique. It gives you space to feel what is true and decide how to respond rather than jumping into reaction. It has been a huge support for one of my sons in particular.

    I have seen this week how much the world would benefit from more of this. How understanding could help us actually listen to each other.

    We might even discover that harmony is not so far from our grasp as all the conflict in the world might lead us to believe it is.

  29. This is a very important blog Simple Living Global – thank you for writing this along with all of the other blogs on this website. I find them very valuable and I find that it helps us to question life and not accept the status quo, if this is what we choose.

    I have spent most of my life listening to other people, through choice. It has served me so that I do not have to take responsibility for my life and all that occurs; I am now making choices to change this.

    One area where I feel we can overlook our self-responsibility is in the workplace.

    I was on a training course this week and the trainer shared the story of a housing officer who was asked to go on a home visit to a tenant who has a violent background. The warning notes on the system said that it needed to be a two person visit. His manager told him to go alone ‘as he was experienced’. The officer chose to go alone although he was reluctant.

    The outcome: The Housing Officer was attacked by the tenant. He is no longer able to work, suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yes he received a £144,000 payout from his employer, but was it worth it?

    We always know ourselves best and so ultimately we are responsible for all of our actions. A message I choose to truly heed.

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