Our Vices, Our Secrets

Dear World

Let’s get real here – who hasn’t got secrets?
What on earth are vices and who has them?
What do the words vices and secrets mean?

Vice
Immoral or wicked behaviour
Criminal activities which involve prostitution, pornography or drugs
An immoral or wicked characteristic
Weakness of character; a bad habit (1)

Vice in American

an evil or wicked action, habit or characteristic
evil or wicked conduct or behaviour; depravity or corruption

any trivial fault or failing, act of self-indulgence
a defect or flaw, as in a work of art
any physical or functional defect or imperfection of the body (2)

Vice in British

An immoral, wicked or evil habit, action or trait
Habitual or frequent indulgence in pernicious, immoral or degrading practices
A specific form of pernicious conduct, esp prostitution or sexual perversion
A failing or imperfection in character, conduct, etc.,

Word Origin of Vice
Via Old French from Latin vitium – a defect.

Vice is one of the 4000 most commonly used words in the Collins dictionary. (2)

Secret
Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others. (1)

Secret in American

Kept from public knowledge or from the knowledge of a certain person(s)
Withdrawn, remote or secluded
Keeping one’s affairs to oneself; secretive
Beyond general knowledge or understanding; mysterious or esoteric
Concealed from sight or notice; hidden
Something known only to a certain person or persons and purposely kept from the knowledge of others
Something not revealed, understood, or explained; mystery
The true cause or explanation, regarded as not obvious
A prayer said just before the Preface of the Mass (3)

Secret in British

Kept hidden or separate from the knowledge of others
Known only to initiates
Hidden from general view or use
Able or tending to keep things private or to oneself
Operating without the knowledge of outsiders
Outside the normal range of knowledge
Something kept or to be kept hidden
Something unrevealed; mystery
An underlying explanation, reason etc., that is not apparent (3)

Can we get real, honest, open and up front about this stuff?

Would it be true to say that as a world we cannot even agree absolutely on the actual word itself?

In other words, there is not a one single truth about what the word vice means to the whole world and the same for the word secret.

Could it be possible that this grey area is the cause of why we do not have a world that is united and one unifying when it comes to Truth?

Could it be possible that we all need to be aware that our world is divided when it comes to words?

Could it be possible this uncertainty, where different countries have different definitions is causing separation in our world?

Could it be possible that having similar words is not the same as having One Truth?

Could it be possible our different definitions for different words have lost the real meaning of what the word was way back in its origin?

Could it be possible our loose terms for words are what is harming us all?

Do we honestly believe our secrets and vices are not harming anyone?

Do we reckon life is just one big game and so what if we get up to no good?

Do we like the dodgy risky lifestyle of having vices and secrets as it gives us the stimulation we need to keep going?

Do we have a moral compass inside us that just knows what is Truth and what is not?

Do we value a thrill and a fling, hoping we won’t get caught more than our moral compass which tells us to get real, upfront and honest?

Do we endorse others in their secrets but turn on them and expose them when we have fallen out with them?

Do we feel self-fury at the fact that others hold the trump card and may call it in at anytime as they know our deepest darkest secrets?

Do we pray every night hoping the pope will listen and offer us forgiveness for the crimes we commit with our double life?

Do we think this is just one life so what the hell, let’s play as there are no consequences and no karma to re-balance the ill we have done?

Do we realise what we are up to with our vices is classed as criminal?

Do we find our illegal activity ok because no one knows about it?

Do we get a buzz out of being anonymous and abusing others online because we know we can get away with it?

Do we think social media bullying is ok because no one knows our name?

Do we think joining network platforms from the dark web world are ok, as long as we don’t get found out?

Do we really think that we are going to get away with all the seedy ugly things we have been up to because we hold a position of power in society?

Do we have double standards for our vices and secrets but slag off others who do the same?

Do we point fingers and blame and judge others who have secrets without once looking at all our own little secrets in the closet?

Do we quiver in our boots knowing that we may be next as someone has just got caught doing what we have been doing for years?

Do we ignore all the signs, when deep down we know our time is up when it comes to our secrets and vices?

Do we start to sweat because we know we are living this awfull ugly life and it could be the end of our life of glamour?

Do we feel ok leaving the house knowing we are about to step into a completely false life?

Do we feel justified in standing up and lying through our back teeth knowing we are living a pretty sick life?

Do we even clock it when we go into auto-pilot mode and become something we are not and it’s now our new normal?

Do we notice our heart racing and we cannot settle when we go into being the other person we know we are not?

Do we really like the jitters we get every time we meet someone who is also living a double life?

Do we think living a life of irresponsibility is going to get us a passport to heaven as we are good in other areas, like paying the bills?

Do we look in the mirror every day and convince ourselves that we are a decent citizen, knowing we have all these vices and secrets in the cupboard?

Do we make sure we don’t subscribe to the God stuff as it keeps us feeling right about our secrets and vices?

Do we think talking fluffy flaky words to one lot of people and acting totally different with another lot is going to go down well in our body?

Do we feel small and act sheepishly with our parents when we go home for Christmas but act the bigwig at work, all the time knowing our vices?

Do we sneak around and try and go into the background when things about our vices start to reveal and get exposed?

Who actually benefits from this way of living?

Do we really go to bed feeling great or with some tension?
Do we keep feeling a dark cloud around us that we can’t shake off?
Do we spend our days looking over our shoulder in every moment?
Do we have voices in our head that keep making us scared?
Do we have numbing devices, like chocolate, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs to cope with the disturbance we feel inside our body?
Do we have our solutions and plans in place just incase we get caught?

Do we ever stop to consider our worst nightmare –
What if we got caught?

Do we live in fear of the police, the government or others in authority finding out about our dodgy life?

Do we feel great smiling and putting on the act for friends and neighbours but treating our partner with utter abuse and disregard?

Do we live in fear of our partner exposing our secrets that we have had since day dot?

Do we live in fear of our parents ever finding out?
Do we live in fear of our kids knowing what we really get up to?

Do we live in fear of our friends at the local church hearing about our double life?
Do we live in fear of the media making a meal ticket out of our story?
Do we live in fear of our neighbours being horrified if they knew our vices?

Do we care about all the people in our life that matter to us when we go about our nonsense living a life of secrets?

WHY do we have vices and secrets or both?
WHY do we accept this stuff as normal?
WHY do we like this private world where we think no one is watching?
WHY do we think we are getting away with it, when it comes to our vices?
WHY do we like the thrill of our wicked ways that harm us and others?
WHY do we ignore signs when it comes to our criminal activity?
WHY do we think we are above the law when it comes to our vices?
WHY do we get popular when we are known for our vices?

WHY do we not want anyone to know about what we are doing?
WHY are we not comfortable living a see through life?
WHY do most of us dread others finding out about what we have in our closet?
WHY do we hope big brother is not watching us when we are up to no good?
WHY are we checking and double checking when we know we are doing something in secret?

WHY are we afraid so much about our vices and secrets?
WHY are we willing to risk losing our family because of our vices?
WHY are we complacent when it comes to living with vices?

WHY are we happy bopping along in life doing our secrets all the time knowing we could get caught?

WHY are we choosing to not be aware of the consequences of our actions?

WHY do we like the secretive nature of the way we operate in life knowing it all feels wrong?

WHY are we ok with the door shut doing our porn, as long as no one disturbs us?

WHY are we ok gambling away our savings because we have become great liars?

WHY do we think having affairs and getting away with it is ok because it is more exciting to have it as a secret?

WHY would we be fearful just at the thought of our mother finding out about our vice that would shock her?

WHY are we ok Internet shopping in secret and making excuses to justify everything we keep buying?

WHY are we making sure our drug purchases are not known to work colleagues as we got the image to keep up?

WHY are we pointing fingers and judging others for their vices, when we have plenty of our own going on?

WHY do we see someone taking drugs as bad but not bat an eyelid when it comes to us cramming big bars of chocolate in secret before we get home from work?

WHY are we quick to blame another for having secrets but we are no different if we are to be honest?

WHY do we get strict on our kids hiding stuff and being secretive when they learnt it from us in the first place?

WHY do we get militant about how criminals should be punished with their vices, but totally ignore the fact we also have vices the world has not yet found out about?

WHY have we got into this habit of constantly watching our back like someone is watching us?

WHY do we go to extreme lengths to cover our tracks with our secret life?

Who is winning this game?
Who gets to feel the consequences?

Are we really getting away with our vices and secrets?

WHY are our media reporting more and more about the vices and secrets of famous people?

What if in truth we cannot hide, lie or pretend we are doing great when we have vices and secrets?

What if we can feel the guilt, deception and uncomfortableness that our life of vices and secrets bring?

What if that dis-honesty gets into our system and grabs us, then it becomes our normal and we convince ourselves that we are getting away with it?

What if living a transparent life takes us straight to the word RESPONSIBILITY and living that word day in and day out in all our choices?

What if we are not really getting away with anything and that the law of karma is true and does exist?

What if time will inevitably get us found out, no matter what our vices or secrets are?

What if we do want to stop and give up our vices and not live with secrets, but we are in too deep and it feels like there is no way out?

What if all the people around us are up to no good as they told us their vices?

What if we know the secrets of all our family members but it’s easier to shut up and say nothing and hope it will go away?

So what would happen if we did get caught?

Would we stop all our vices?
Would we confess all our secrets?
Would it end our marriage?
Would it break up a great friendship?
Would it mean we lose our job?
Would it mean we go bankrupt?

Would it mean our kids get hurt?
Would it mean our mum’s blood pressure rises?
Would it mean our dad stops speaking to us?
Would it mean news headlines?
Would it mean a prison sentence?
Would it mean a life of giving up?

Could we live with knowing that?

What if there is another way?
Would going Back to Basics change everything?

What if Simple Living Back to Basics is all about being –
Open
Real
Getting Honest
Stop Worrying What Others Think
Taking Responsibility
Making Sensible Choices
Respecting Self and Others
Getting On With It

Is it possible to just stop our behaviour?
Would it mean the end of this life and start again in the hope to not get caught?
Would it mean guilt to the grave?

Dear Dear World

What if the Truth is – there is a Law of Oneness so that means everything we do and put out there has to be corrected at some point in our evolution?

What if we simply don’t like to even think that our irresponsible way of living has consequences?

What if there ain’t no big brother watching but in Truth our Soul is clocking every single movement we make and we are really not getting away with anything?
In other words, it is all being recorded.

Would that make us change or want to at least consider our movements from this day going forward?

References

(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011

(2) (n.d). Collins English Dictionary. Retrieved October 13, 2017 from
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/vice_1

(3) (n.d). Collins English Dictionary. Retrieved October 13, 2017 from
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/secret

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Comments 16

  1. I’ve often heard people say ‘everyone needs a vice’.

    What if this is in fact not true?

    What if absolutely everything matters?

  2. It’s funny – you often hear the saying “you’re not as sick as your secrets” but somehow I had never put vice and secrets in the same field before in quite this way.
    I recently went through a practice of writing all the things I’ve got shame about, or secrets about, or fear about etc but have never told anyone and shared it with someone trusted. The experience taught me a lot but one of the highest things was that my secrets were generally way smaller in actuality than I felt them in my shame. Speaking about them openly with this trusted person gave me the courage to speak more publicly about them in general and every single time I do I am met with relief or gratitude or both from the other person/people. I’m continually amazed at how powerful relationships are for helping to heal wounds around secrets.

    1. Yes, Katherine, if I was able to talk about things when I was young, the things would not have turned into secrets. I am finding that all my writing now has helped me heal my childhood secrets. Things I did not talk about. Expression is so powerful.

  3. Why do I feel I need to not express everything, or have a secret?

    It is because I am afraid I will be judged for being different. That there might be something wrong with me.

    I volunteered at a yoga center, lived there for over a year. It was very scary for me to do that, I was interacting with new people constantly.

    It was just what I needed. I realized that we are all the same in so many ways, we all have the same issues.

    This allowed me to further drop my armour, and just go for it. Because I was open to more, I connected to people on a level, I had not experienced before. A level of true intimacy I had been missing my whole life.

    Our secrets cripple our life, and secrets are just a creation because we are all the same.

  4. Yes, Michael, judgement is a big reason why we feel we need secrets. As I child I only felt shame when I felt judged, and then I felt I had to hide what i was doing, even though I knew it was ok.

  5. “Are we really getting away with our vices and secrets?” Brilliant question and there is no ‘getting away with’ anything in truth. Even if we think we have ‘got away with something’ we live in our own body which clocks everything. We may not realise that when we have secrets, or vices, or lies that this is causing a tension in our body which eventually becomes ill health. And, we think people don’t know we have secrets and vices but deep down we all feel one another, and we know when someone is hiding something.

    How different the world would be when we no longer have secrets, vices, lies and we live openly and transparently.

  6. As a child I grew up being very secretive. Part of this was because when I was in a situation and I Expressed how I felt and was told to be quiet I would shut the world out. I felt no one listened to me. This went on through my teens into my adult hood. I built this big, high protective wall around me and nobody other than very few who I trusted were allowed over the wall so to speak.

    Fast forward to present day I have come to realise that being Secretive is a form of Fear; and there is nothing to be fearful of. I spent so many years hiding and keeping people at arms length. I can still Express how I feel without running away now; which is good enough for me.

    A great blog!

  7. On BBC Radio 2 last week, I just caught the presenter and a few others talking about secrets and vices and laughing about it with the audience, who were asked to send in real life stories.

    The one that sticks out was a man who lied about all his expensive sports equipment and the wife sold it saying ‘well it didn’t cost you much’ and she made a profit, little did she know it cost a fortune so to speak.

    There was a lot more and what came to me is how on national radio we are endorsing this kind of behaviour. Secrets, vices all a laugh and nothing more and so is it any surprise our world is as it is?

    Is this a form of Reductionism is the question I was reflecting on?
    We dilute and make things feel small and insignificant and reduce it from the reality and whole truth of what it actually is.

    Back to that story – who benefits and who wins in this game of lies, deceit, secrets and vices?

    Does it evolve us in anyway and more to the point what is the purpose of living a life that is not transparent?

    Do we think no one is watching or caring and it does not simply matter or do we have a conscience deep inside us – what I call a moral compass that knows what is Truth and what is Not?
    http://simplelivingglobal.com/tell-the-truth-day/

    1. At a recent business dinner, after finding out I don’t drink alcohol, someone asked me ‘what’s your poison?’.

      They wanted to find out what my vice was – the assumption being everybody has one – everyone has a secret go-to. It was conspiratorial and said in an ‘in-joke’ kind of way.

      The ‘reductionism’ you speak of, Bina, is absolutely what was felt.

      There was also a fascination there – the possibility of someone not having a vice seemed both appalling and amazing. Which goes to show how prevalent it is – how we are all living.

      1. When you answered that you do not drink alcohol Jenifer and they asked whats your poison, it brought up the possibility that maybe you do not have a poison, and I feel that makes people uncomfortable because if you do not have a vice, then maybe it is possible to live truthfully. And they do not want go there.

        Deep down we know what is right and wrong, but it is easier to rationalize something when everybody else is doing it.

        It is so important to speak our truth, it can be the start of everything.

        1. That is so true, Ken: exposing the discomfort of knowing we can all live without vices and to do so would be to live ‘truthfully’.

          It reminds me of the phrase ‘sadness needs friends’. All of us know what is true or not for our bodies and our lives and we know when we are overriding that. When others are doing so too, it makes it easier to justifies our own choices.

          Which makes me think of karma in the graceful sense – the imprints we leave when we choose to break out of these group patterns and walk another path.

  8. Why do we feel we need a vice or a secret?

    If I feel incomplete, then I look for something to fill that space. Something that is just for me. Something that gives me identity.

    When I do or say something that does not feel right, but I do it anyways because of a belief I have, it creates a void in me. A void created because I held back on expressing the real me.

    I feel this is why I feel I need or deserve a vice or a secret. To fill this emptiness created by not honoring myself.

    So are all the vices and secrets in the world, there because people have held back on expressing themselves? Held back on the most important thing we have – ourselves?

    There is no secret or vice that can take the place of that.

  9. The number of untaxed cars has tripled in the UK since they scrapped paper tax discs that people put on their windscreen, in favour of digital only.

    700,000 cars in the UK are now untaxed.

    It’s like as soon as we can hide, we think we can get away with it.

    I wonder what it does to those 700,000 people, knowing perfectly well they haven’t paid their tax. What sort of low level tension do they carry, knowing they haven’t done what’s required?

    http://www.theweek.co.uk/89785/untaxed-cars-have-tripled-since-paper-discs-were-scrapped?_mout=1&utm_campaign=theweekdaily_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter

  10. Thanks for this top blog Simple Living Global on the illusions of what we would consider vices and secrets.

    I will go out on a limb here and say that practically every single one of us has secrets and vices.

    There may be those of us who will say they don’t have any vices but it comes down to what we consider is a vice.

    If we take the dictionary definition, then a vice is anything that is wicked, bad, corrupt and paradoxically is seen as both immoral, depraved, degrading behaviour or an OK thing like having a little drink before going to bed or having that extra portion of profiteroles with cream.

    We all know the stuff that society would immediately call a vice, like alcohol, tobacco, drugs, pornography, sex, criminal activities, indulgence in food, TV, social media etc. etc. but what about the stuff that society considers normal?

    What about the indulgences we have at the festive and New Year period?

    What about the not so nice thoughts that go through our head?

    What about all the things we tolerate in others?

    What about all the things that we hold back from saying to each other?

    Is it possible that these can be considered vices?

    Is it possible that any vice we have actually harms us?

    I personally don’t eat certain foods because I have an understanding how they affect my body but there are times that I choose to ignore this and eat them anyway.

    For instance, I don’t usually eat potatoes but occasionally I will have chips

    Now society will say ‘what are you talking about, how can eating chips be a vice’, but with this understanding that I have and the fact that I still choose to eat these foods, I am putting my body into disregard, so is it possible that this now becomes a vice?

    We can easily say that eating chips is so far removed from any depraved behaviour or doing drugs or alcohol but is it possible that if we don’t see them the same, we are missing one salient fact…

    Whether its chips or drugs, it is not the TRUTH for our bodies and our bodies will cop it either in the short term or the long term.

  11. What happens when those who are deemed ‘healthy’ die in tragic circumstances after taking illicit drugs?

    Do we ever stop to ask what was really going on for that person and how their life was?
    Do we question whether the ‘healthy’ lifestyle that was being portrayed was ever truly healthy?

    It seems that most of us have some kind of vice or secret which comes out of not living who we truly are and therefore wouldn’t the most important thing in life be to find out who we truly are, live that and then support others to live the same?

    Would this then prevent these tragic deaths?

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