What is blame?
According to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary – assign responsibility for a fault or wrong to. (1)
Why do we play the blame game when something goes wrong in our life?
Who do we blame?
Why do we blame?
What do we blame?
What does blame give us?
How do we feel when we blame?
Who wins when we blame?
Does blame actually change anything?
Are we aware of how much we blame?
Where did we learn that blame is ok?
Why have we become so good at blaming?
Why is it that we blame anything and everything when something goes wrong?
Why do we blame others when deep down we know it was not them?
Why do we use blame like an auto-pilot switch?
Could it be possible that blaming is a choice and helps us to avoid Responsibility?
Could it be possible that blaming anyone and anything means we can be right?
Could it be possible that blaming means we get off the hook?
Could it be possible that blaming is the easy way of life?
Could it be possible that blaming makes us look better?
Could it be possible that blaming others is more comfortable?
Why do we seek answers to our issues by blaming?
Could it be possible that Self Responsibility feels too much?
Where is the Self Responsibility?
Are our choices a contributing factor in the blame game?
Is blaming a solution – in other words a band-aid?
What really changes when we blame?
Why is our world telling us it is ok to blame?
If we stop and ask these questions it may become evident that this blame game is getting us nowhere and maybe, we need to look deeper at that word RESPONSIBILITY.
So if things go wrong or we get ourselves in a pickle, is it time we looked at the WHY questions?
So to keep it simple – we make some ugly choices that put us in a situation that is not good and we feel uncomfortable or we react, get stressed or get sick. At no point do we want to think that our choices may be contributing to what is going on in our life.
For example, we go to bed late every single day and we feel exhausted when we wake up. Our body is struggling and we keep pushing harder. We then eat foods to keep us going and we feel buzzy and racy and so it is not natural to fall asleep at bedtime. Things get worse, so we pop to the drug store and get the latest sleeping pills and they don’t work.
So we find it easier to blame as this option is very familiar and comfortable.
Do we ever stop and ask WHY we have a sleep issue?
Do we think that maybe our daily choices are why we have a sleep problem?
Blame the job
Blame the kids
Blame the partner
Blame the parents
Blame your childhood
Blame money issues
Blame the government
Blame the politicians
Blame the microwave
Blame the car
Blame the house
Blame the noisy neighbour
Blame the trains being late
Blame the curry last night
Blame the shop assistant
Blame the doctor
Blame the drugs
Blame the soccer results
Blame the war in the Middle East
Blame BLAME BLAME
ARE WE READY TO ADMIT THAT WE BLAME ANYONE, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING?
Are we ready to accept that we maybe living a life of irresponsibility?
Back to the sleep example –
Could it be possible that we stopped caring for ourselves a long time ago and we do not value and appreciate the precious body we live in everyday?
Could it be possible that if we could admit our choices got us the lack of sleep, then there can be no blaming anything or anyone?
Could it be possible that if we Accept that we made ill choices, we would need to take responsibility and make better choices, but we don’t actually want to change?
Could it be possible that by blaming, we never ever have to address that we caused the issue in the first place?
Could it be possible that our choices got us in the mess and our new Responsible choices could get us out of the blame game forever?
Could it really be that simple?
We spend our life groaning, moaning, grappling, whinging and whining about anything and everything. We have a habit of looking outside of ourselves and blaming, without looking inside and seeing that we have contributed to the mess we are currently in, however big or small.
We think blaming means we get away with it.
Get away with what?
Do we really get away with it or do we just have a solution and bury the real issue deeper inside us?
Blaming has no room for being accountable for our choices.
In other words, we can make irresponsible choices and then if we don’t like something we can use blame which offers us relief.
Is it time now to stop blaming and start making responsible choices?
In other words – the opposite to the dictionary definition, to assign Responsibility back to us.
(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011