JUST TALK

Dear World

Why on earth do we need to JUST TALK

What is the purpose when we JUST TALK

Are there any real benefits when we JUST TALK

How would our neighbourhood and communities benefit if we all JUST TALK when we needed to

How would life be if we all went around genuinely talking when we felt something in our Heart that needed communicating

What would happen if we JUST TALK what our heart feels in that moment

What would happen in our world if we all JUST TALK when we feel something to say

What if we don’t want to talk because life is easier

What if not talking makes another think what they want

What if zipping up our mouth ensures we rattle the other person

What if we actually get a kick out of not talking

What if there is an internal dialogue going on but we never say it through our mouth

What if by talking we make a huge difference but we are not aware of that

What if our old way of keeping the lid on our mouth is not needed, as the world needs our voice now

What if we stopped the blagging and the joking and JUST TALK from our heart with what we truly feel

What if each and everyone of us has something valid to say if we make a point to JUST TALK

What is it about us that can cut with our eyes when we choose not to talk

What is the message we want another to receive with our no talking business

What is it about us human beings that holds back when it comes to talking

What is this Sitting on the Fence business we do

What is this holding back style we have developed

What do our movements say when we deliberately go out of our way to not talk

What does not talking do inside us to our physiology

What hurt are we holding onto and can’t let go of that stops us from just talking

What would happen if we said what we truly feel, like kids do and JUST TALK

Why are we acting like what comes out of our mouth is not worth saying

Why are we having this incessant back and forth email exchange instead of picking up the phone and just talking

Why don’t we pick up the phone and JUST TALK instead of hiding behind messaging on Social Media

Why do we have this tendency to zip up when we know what we have to say is important

Why do we use the mute button with our mouth everyday

Why do some kids not say what they feel in the moment

Do these children grow up to not talk and express freely

Do we drive our partners nuts because we just don’t talk

Who are we getting back at when we give the “I am not talking, so get lost” sign

Who do we want to hurt with our not talking stubborn style

Have we struggled to express as a child and continued this into our adult life

Are we scared that the wrong thing will come out so we play it safe and not talk

Could we save ourselves a lot of time by just saying what needs to be said in the given moment

Hello

Do we really think just because we say nothing, it is not having any effect

Do we honestly believe that not speaking gets the message across

Do we use not talking as a weapon to get at others and it has worked for us so far

Do we know how it unsettles people when we give the silent treatment but we just continue as it suits us

Are we making a conscious choice to not speak because we know it will really make the other person angry

Are we choosing to shut up so the other person feels the hurt we are in

Are we struggling with saying what we want to say

Does the moment pass and we think it’s not worth talking

What if1 our part in the big plan is to say our bit and that gives another exactly what they need in that moment

What if2   we do a great service to humanity when we JUST TALK because we felt to do so

What if we behave like children and JUST TALK and not dilute, calculate, manipulate what we are going to say

What if we all JUST TALK and practice this everyday in real life and see what happens

What if JUST TALK is not rambling on and chewing someone’s ear off

What if JUST TALK gives another the space to listen to what we do have to say and it does matter

What if we JUST TALK to those we meet in our day and see what happens…

What if we JUST TALK to someone and find out we made a difference as they had no one to talk to

What if we started to understand ourselves and others more if we JUST TALK

What if the suppression of not talking is affecting our Heart

What if the pushing down what we really want to talk about is having a bigger impact than we realise

What if we JUST TALK by opening our mouth and see what comes out

What if others actually need what we have to say for their evolution and holding back serves no one

For the record – this blog is talking about Real Talk and not nonsense talk or hot talk

It would be wise to read our blogs on

Hot Talk
Real Talking

What would be the change to the state of our Mental Health if we JUST TALK

Finally – what would be the change in this world if we JUST TALK

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Comments 8

  1. Thank you for this marvellous blog.

    For me, the importance of the author’s counsel to ‘Just Talk’ cannot be overstated.

    Looking back on my life, I can clearly see that the growth and healing I have experienced, as well as the number and quality of the opportunities that have opened up for me, at any given period in my life, have been directly proportionate to how much I have just talked.

    When I was a teenager and then an adult in my twenties and thirties, I lacked confidence and self-appreciation so I never just talked. This is because, when talking to people, I was always looking to please people, be nice and gain their approval. Therefore, I rarely expressed myself honestly.

    It’s probably no coincidence that this period from my late teens through to my late thirties was not only the period where I rarely expressed myself honestly, but also the time that my life was plagued by depression.

    So, how did I learn to express myself honestly and just talk (without a hidden agenda to gain the approval of the person I was talking to)?
    I learnt to express myself honestly and just talk when I began seeing the author of this blog for counselling.

    Through the counselling sessions I have had with the author, I have learnt that things change when I just talk honestly. And, as I stated earlier, the more I have just talked honestly, the more growth, healing and opportunities I have seen in my life.

    Moreover, the more I have just talked, the more I have enjoyed being in my body because I have found that when one just talks honestly, the sense of lightness and spaciousness in one’s body increases.

  2. I like the title of this blog-‘Just talk’ because talking from our heart is simple and natural for us. Yet, it can seem the most frightening, alien thing to do.

    It is also transformative. Often I have felt in a rut, but this rut has often evaporated into thin air when I have talked about it, such is the power of talking.

    This blog reminds me to appreciate what I offer another when I speak from my heart.

    In my experience, there is a big link between not talking and depression. I didn’t say what I was feeling from a young age and that ensured feelings of isolation and withdrawal.

    There are a thousand ways that I can still convince myself to not talk. Being too busy, feeling someone may not understand or get angry, feeling what I have to say is not important etc. These are all inventions of the mind; lies in other words. And the world abounds with the same lies when we are all walking around avoiding ‘just talk.’

    Imagine no filter, imagine we just talked like we were kids?
    Imagine not worrying about how people would react?

  3. Talking is healing. holding back is harming.
    Sometimes I feel that I am still holding back but I am aware that expression is everything.
    It is an everyday exercise, something to practice on daily, especially when living with someone (partner, family, flatmate).

    I can feel how the quality of my relationship improves when I am expressing more with my gorgeous partner, and how frustrated she is when I am not.
    But I also feel that sometimes there could be an expectation from her for me to talk when I am not ready at the time and that also creates a tension between us.

    It is all about expressing what we feel at the moment, even if it is to say that we don’t want to talk at the time we are expected to, no matter how painful that can be.

  4. This morning I could have rolled out of bed in a very dodgy mood, and to be honest feeling highly out of sorts.

    I could have taken that to work, after letting it snowball during my drive to work. I could have tried all manner of ways to pretend the bad mood wasn’t there. Heaven forbid anyone see.

    Just talking allowed me to take the wind out of the sails of that moody boat.

    ‘Just talk’ is like a pin to a balloon; and instant transformation.

    Just from talking about something, we get a fresh perspective and space from
    all manner of rubbish that our mind will make up.

  5. I know I have a habit of talking and JUST TALK is what I love and do very well.

    Sometimes I forget the knock on effect of what that means when just talking is genuine, sincere and holding integrity in the conversation.

    Meeting people for who they are without an agenda or giving a hoot about what they wear, how they look etc.,

    Today I went back to my local swimming pool after a 2 month break.

    The lifeguard came straight up to me on the poolside and hugged me. He is huge, mr gym muscles and full of tattoos. Not scary at all but unusual I feel for others watching what this was all about. I am tiny next to him and he said I looked really well and in great shape and where had I been?

    We talked about my mum dying and what happened and he shared about his life.

    All I know is his job is watching us swim up and down and that’s about it all day and everyday. Yes they have other peripheral jobs but not having real life talking to me would be a killer.

    I was blown away simply because I realised that all those months I had a connection with him and we did talk and when you disappear it is noticed and felt.

    I came away knowing that the way I live and the way I chose to connect with people, no matter who they are and what job title they have, it can leave a quality that another feels. This was living proof for me.

    Next – I had a great conversation with the manager on duty at the leisure centre who I know well. He said he was blown away with me sharing a small video of my mum.

    He said that he could feel from her just talking how much awareness she had and how amazing her expression was – his words.

    Next – I know so many who do the ‘silent treatment’ or the ‘nicey nice’ instead of just talk. In fact, this blog was inspired by those I know who continually and consistently keep their lips sealed when I know if they just talk things would be different.

    I have come to realise each and everyone has a part to play and we do actually need the person to just talk as it is probably exactly what we need for our own evolution.

    The fact is we cannot do it alone or with our mouth shut. Bit of a no brainer, but no doubt we will need science and a heap of research studies to tell us that one day in the future.

  6. Yesterday I experienced the benefits of just talking. I had been with friends all day working and they dropped me home. I realised that I had forgotten some items so went round to their house to collect them.

    It was great to go round and just talk about the day and our observations and feelings. It made me realise that there was no error in forgetting the items and that the talking part helped bring closure to the day so that we could all move on and help each other see and understand what was happening.

    How much do we try and work things on our own?

    Why do we bottle it all up inside when if we shared our thoughts and feelings with others it would help both them and us to grow?

    Talking is a great medicine and without it is possible that we are shutting others out and delaying our own evolution?

    Do we restrict ourselves from seeing a situation from another angle or viewpoint when we keep it all to ourselves?

    I used to be one who didn’t talk at all and I can really see now how I was missing out and value how much I have grown by opening up to others and just talking.

    I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today in my life without talking and the close relationships that have been built as a result. Yesterday was a clear example.

  7. Talking is daily medicine

    In a busy work environment it can be all too easy to settle for a quick ‘hi’ with people who I work with and see everyday. I work in a place with a lot of corridors and a lot of busy people. Then I miss out on that daily medicine.

    Why do I hide all the details about my life for my so called ‘nearest and dearest’?

    How refreshing it would be to ‘just talk.’ with anyone at work. I know it would change how I feel about work.

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