What is blame?

According to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary – assign responsibility for a fault or wrong to. (1)

Why do we play the blame game when something goes wrong in our life?

Who do we blame?
Why do we blame?
What do we blame?
What does blame give us?
How do we feel when we blame?

Who wins when we blame?
Does blame actually change anything?
Are we aware of how much we blame?
Where did we learn that blame is ok?
Why have we become so good at blaming?

Why is it that we blame anything and everything when something goes wrong?
Why do we blame others when deep down we know it was not them?
Why do we use blame like an auto-pilot switch?

Could it be possible that blaming is a choice and helps us to avoid Responsibility?
Could it be possible that blaming anyone and anything means we can be right?
Could it be possible that blaming means we get off the hook?
Could it be possible that blaming is the easy way of life?
Could it be possible that blaming makes us look better?
Could it be possible that blaming others is more comfortable?

Why do we seek answers to our issues by blaming?

Could it be possible that Self Responsibility feels too much?

Where is the Self Responsibility?

Are our choices a contributing factor in the blame game?
Is blaming a solution – in other words a band-aid?
What really changes when we blame?
Why is our world telling us it is ok to blame?

If we stop and ask these questions it may become evident that this blame game is getting us nowhere and maybe, we need to look deeper at that word RESPONSIBILITY.

So if things go wrong or we get ourselves in a pickle, is it time we looked at the WHY questions?

So to keep it simple – we make some ugly choices that put us in a situation that is not good and we feel uncomfortable or we react, get stressed or get sick. At no point do we want to think that our choices may be contributing to what is going on in our life.

For example, we go to bed late every single day and we feel exhausted when we wake up. Our body is struggling and we keep pushing harder. We then eat foods to keep us going and we feel buzzy and racy and so it is not natural to fall asleep at bedtime. Things get worse, so we pop to the drug store and get the latest sleeping pills and they don’t work.

So we find it easier to blame as this option is very familiar and comfortable.

Do we ever stop and ask WHY we have a sleep issue?
Do we think that maybe our daily choices are why we have a sleep problem?

Blame the job
Blame the kids
Blame the partner
Blame the parents
Blame your childhood
Blame money issues
Blame the government
Blame the politicians
Blame the microwave
Blame the car
Blame the house
Blame the noisy neighbour
Blame the trains being late
Blame the curry last night
Blame the shop assistant
Blame the doctor
Blame the drugs
Blame the soccer results
Blame the war in the Middle East



Are we ready to accept that we maybe living a life of irresponsibility?

Back to the sleep example –

Could it be possible that we stopped caring for ourselves a long time ago and we do not value and appreciate the precious body we live in everyday?

Could it be possible that if we could admit our choices got us the lack of sleep, then there can be no blaming anything or anyone?

Could it be possible that if we Accept that we made ill choices, we would need to take responsibility and make better choices, but we don’t actually want to change?

Could it be possible that by blaming, we never ever have to address that we caused the issue in the first place?

Could it be possible that our choices got us in the mess and our new Responsible choices could get us out of the blame game forever?

Could it really be that simple?

We spend our life groaning, moaning, grappling, whinging and whining about anything and everything. We have a habit of looking outside of ourselves and blaming, without looking inside and seeing that we have contributed to the mess we are currently in, however big or small.

We think blaming means we get away with it.
Get away with what?
Do we really get away with it or do we just have a solution and bury the real issue deeper inside us?

Blaming has no room for being accountable for our choices.
In other words, we can make irresponsible choices and then if we don’t like something we can use blame which offers us relief.

Is it time now to stop blaming and start making responsible choices?
In other words – the opposite to the dictionary definition, to assign Responsibility back to us.


(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011





Comments 31

  1. Blaming has always felt wrong to me. Thank you Simple Living Global for confirming my feeling. It is useless to blame, it just allows you to not take responsibility . It allows you to ignore something that happened for a reason. If you blame you don’t have to deal with something that has the potential of teaching you something. Everything happens for a reason. We can listen to the message that is being presented or we can ignore it. If we ignore it then it will just keep coming back until we listen.

    1. Correct Ken Elmer – ‘it is useless to blame’ and it then means we do not have to take responsibility so thats the cop out.
      I agree that it allows us to ignore something and by blaming we don’t get to learn or evolve so really there is no change.
      How many of us have felt like something keeps presenting itself and its like we never get past it because we haven’t leanrt the lesson.

  2. What games we play in order to postpone the inevitable… taking of responsibility.

    Waiting for others to ‘get it right’, from a ‘good parent’ to an ‘enlightened president’ or the promised one coming down to erase all our sins and save us, is not reality; holding ourselves accountable and as the author of this honest blog states, it is our new responsible choices that will get us out of the mess our old choices got us into.

    I most have been more aware lately, of my own little blaming games; here and there using ‘outer’ excuses which enable me to seemingly ‘slip through the radar’ and to not face my own responsibility fully… but I actually know there is no getting away with being anything short of truth-full and/or loving as I feel it and we all feel it and I am seeing how every little thing always catches up to me anyway!

    What power we hold to change our lives, to change the world… and the key is in our own individual pocket, the key is called ‘taking responsibility’.

    1. Top comment Jo Elmer and love how you say basically who on earth are we waiting for when the ball is in our court. We just need to get on with it and start taking RESPONSIBILITY.
      Lets get real – we all have a past and done things we would not do now. So what?
      Why not start now and erase that past by LIVING IN RESPONSIBILITY consistently.
      Tall order maybe, but talking about it won’t change anything. Making small steps every single day to not harm yourself or others and then commit to living in way that supports you guarantees that past is erased in a way that it no longer holds you to ransom.

  3. Something in the news in Western Australia, made me come looking back at this blog. What the issue being highlighted is not important – but more the fact that when something happens – the blame starts to get pushed around very similarly in fact to a hot coal or a football as I saw it. The responsibility has to be quickly pushed on another so that one group or individuals can stay in the reaction they want and not look at all inwardly or at the circumstances with any clarity. The game is then shove and keep shoving for eventually the newspapers walk away and nothing is truly resolved – more stuff is then swept under the carpet. Interestingly in all of these incidences afar and close to our personal lives, the blame stuff now swept under the carpet never ever gets dealt with.

  4. That blame card we pull out every time is like our back up when things don’t go our way and what a cop out that really is.
    It does leave us feeling unsettled and this is the proof. A confirmation from our body saying “excuse me mate, that was not the way to handle your irresponsibility”.

    The other thing is we all know how it feels to be on the other end of blame. Awful when you know it is not true and you just got blamed for something you did not do.
    Imagine how many arguments or heated discussions go on each day around the world because of Blame.

  5. I agree with you Shevon – this website it unique and it presents EVERYTHING that we need to end the misery in our lives and move on by living with RESPONSIBILITY.
    Reporting REAL NEWS as you say is important and not only that we do our best to present in simple language so it is truly accessible by all equally.

    No airy fairy fluffy talk and no fancy long words makes the reading very easy.
    There is another way to live in this world and Simple Living Global are confirming this.

  6. I laughed out loud at ‘blame the microwave’. This really does shine a light on how much of a cover up blame is. Some blaming is more sophisticated so it’s harder to see the trick, but pointing out the ridiculousness of some of the excuses we make for ourselves really leaves us nowhere to hide, if we’re honest. But that means doing something about it – taking a true look every time we blame, at the part we played and at how we are reacting. Yikes… time to turn the finger back this way and see what’s really going on.

    1. Correct JS – if we point out the ridiculousness and laugh out loud as you have done, then at least we get a reality check of how we have become masters of the blame game.
      ‘Doing something about it’ is the game changer and if we start with not pointing the finger outside of ourself – we may just feel the harm of what blame does.
      One thing I know from lived experience is it gets you to take full RESPONSIBILITY for all your choices and you get to feel the consequences of your ugly choices and thats ok as long as you learn. The great thing is no more blaming means more honesty in how we choose to live.

  7. Love your comment JS. From my experience I’d say that we blame as we don’t want to feel the discomfort of knowing that we had a hand in whatever situation has been created. ‘

    It can feel very uncomfortable but staying in the blame does not move us forward at all.

    The last paragraph in this blog really brings it home

    ‘Is it time now to stop blaming and start making responsible choices?

    In other words – the opposite to the dictionary definition, to assign Responsibility back to us.’

  8. I have understood that blame is useless, and I have been good at catching myself when I want to blame . But going deeper I am feeling that there parts of my life that I do not want to deal with (take responsibility) because I still want someone or something out there to fix it. There is a stubborness that says “I will not deal with this issue and move on because I was hurt and I want someone to take responsibility for it.” So is this a sort of blame?
    Yes, I was hurt and it is not ok, but I am still holding on to something even though deep down I know that I am the only one who can deal with the hurt.
    I am understanding that I can constantly go deeper when it comes to responsibility.

  9. Blaming is certainly the easy option and for most people it seems to be the default position when something goes wrong. It seems to be innate in us to point the finger anywhere but at ourselves.
    Our everyday choices shape our lives so it is only logical that the consequences of those choices should be our responsibility, but yet, it is a very rare thing for someone to take that level of responsibility.
    The author has made a very good point when she says that we don’t want to take responsibility for our ill choices because if we did we would have to change.
    I agree.
    I feel that change is what most people really want but they are not prepared to put in the work to make, and sustain, the changes.
    New Years resolutions are a great example of this. Most resolutions will last only a few days until the comfort comes knocking on the door and then its back to the old ways blaming all and sundry for why they couldn’t continue with their resolution.
    In truth, we all know what we do that harms us but until we are ready to truly change, playing the blame game will be our first port of call.

    1. “I feel that change is what most people really want but they are not prepared to put in the work to make, and sustain, the changes.”

      I’m sure most of us could agree with you here, Tim. How many of us talk about wanting change but do little to nothing about it?

      It makes me ask myself ‘how much do we really want it?’.

  10. I was very good at blaming others, it was never about me, it was always ‘their’ fault and never ‘mine’. Over time I was not pleasant to be around and when ill health came knocking on my door, I had two choices, continue blaming others or look deep within myself as to why I was doing this.

    As already stated by Simple Living Global, I was not willing to take ‘responsibility’, I was making it hard work, but with persistence, it started to become the norm.

    I pondered further on this word and when I break down the word – ‘respons’. I see it as how would I respond? Most of the time I would have reacted adding further complications instead of simply responding.
    ‘ibility’ – what am I capable of doing? Ignore and continue this behaviour or have a choice to do something about it.

    I now ponder more on my actions and activities on a daily basis and have no hesitation to admit when I have been irresponsible for my actions and people see me more transparent, it gives them permission to be transparent and become more acquainted to responsibility.

  11. I have been working with listening to my body, not overriding it. Last Friday I had an amazing day, worked 9 hrs, felt strong. On Saturday my body was telling me I had to rest. I have been doing a lot of resting the last 10 years because of my past choices and it has been very challenging to stop and honor my body.

    So on Saturday when my body was telling me to rest, I had two options. Go into blame which is just a reaction to something that I do not want to accept. (Why do I have to rest again! I want another amazing day like Friday! It’s not fair!) . Or appreciate that I was able to work Friday and I had Saturday to rest.

    I was in reaction at first but then I stopped and felt all the amazing support that I was being offered. It was my choice how I perceived the situation. And that choice dictates my experience.

    Again it all comes down to taking responsibility for my life. It is all up to me what happens in my life, blaming is just complaining about something so you don’t have to deal with it.

  12. I’ve noticed recently some blaming I’m doing which is quite well hidden from sight. Judgement I’m carrying.
    Re-reading this blog, I’m reminded why we chose to look out rather than look in, where the real truth lays. The quiet ‘if only they would…’ or ‘it’s easier when…’ thoughts belie a responsibility avoidance in me and it’s time to have a look at that.
    Yet again I am appreciating the wisdom this site offers and keeps offering.

  13. This blame business is such a big thing. I see it day in and day out where we like to blame someone, something or anything but not us.

    Bit like saying we had nothing to do with it and circumstances made it happen or someone else or something outside of us but never did we have a hand in it.

    I was also the same until I learned about the truth of taking full RESPONSIBILITY for every single choice I make and then being accountable for those choices.

    Bit hairy to start with but now a great way to live and being open to anything that happens and that’s The End of finger pointing.

    This is a great blog about blame that makes sense –

  14. All of my life I’ve blamed others for my life’s circumstances -whether it be my parents, other family members, friends, bosses, anyone.

    The interesting thing about this blaming behaviour is that I thought I was taking responsibility but then I started to take notice of my thoughts and realised even though I was not blaming outwardly the mere fact that I would have blaming thoughts was equal to me not taking responsibility for my life and my actions.

    What if every situation that we find ourselves in we have contributed to?

    What if the choices that we make on a daily basis are like building blocks and they lead us to where we are going?

    Could there be an ‘audit trail’ if we were to track back any situation and therefore no surprises as to how we got there?

    Could these types of questions and the wisdom in this blog by Simple Living Global be what we need to stop any blame?

    1. “What if every situation that we find ourselves in we have contributed to?

      What if the choices that we make on a daily basis are like building blocks and they lead us to where we are going?”

      Shevon, these are VERY interesting questions.

      If our choices contribute to all we experience, that would totally debunk the blame game.

  15. Today I read a newspaper article, speaking of the incredible rise in childhood obesity. The article stated that 1 in 5 children will be obese when they leave primary school and another third overweight.

    The writer points the finger and blames irresponsible parenting as the cause, but do we just stop there or is there more?

    Could it be possible that we all have a hand in this?

    We don’t have to be parents to interact with children and if we look at ourselves – teachers, aunts, uncles, neighbours, family friends, shop keepers – all of the people children come into contact with, can we honestly hold our hands up and say that we are true role models for our children regarding our relationships with food, our body and how we treat ourselves?

    If we cannot, would we not be wiser to start with ourselves, by getting our act together, rather than pointing any fingers out there?

  16. There are so many arguments that go on every day as a result of blame.

    Government is a great example and whenever I look at a debate in the House of Commons that is exactly what is going on – finger pointing and blame.

    Whenever something goes wrong or is exposed very rarely do all we all ponder on our part in what has happened. Now that would be taking responsibility. What would our world be like if we did this in all areas of life?

    Would things get resolved much quicker?

    I live in a family where we do not blame each other but take responsibility for our actions, which requires honesty. This resolves conflicts much quicker or causes them not to arise at all.

  17. An article in ‘The Week’ magazine, 1st April 2017, talks about “Divorce: time to end the blame game.”

    It talks about a case that went through the courts where a woman was forced to remain in a loveless marriage.

    The Court of Appeal upheld a ruling that the wife had no grounds for divorcing her husband, who contested the petition, insisting they still have a few years to enjoy together.

    It didn’t matter that she felt miserable and isolated, that she and her husband of about 40 years frequently rowed and that he belittled her in front of family and friends.

    That didn’t amount to unreasonable behaviour and she will now have to wait until 2020, at which point she will qualify for automatic divorce on the basis of five years’ separation.

    A divorce lawyer said this case highlights the very important need for the introduction of no-fault divorces.

    It’s very rare for someone to oppose a divorce petition, but even in standard cases petitioners have to establish that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

    A period of separation of at least two years will qualify if both sides consent but if people don’t want to wait that long, their only option is to claim that their spouse has committed adultery or is behaving so unreasonably that they cannot be expected to live with them.

    The need to attribute fault introduces acrimony into the divorce process making it more stressful for all concerned.

    He said: “It’s time to end the blame game.”

    The Times newspaper said: “Its amazing that we haven’t done so already. There is overwhelming support for such a move among judges and marriage guidance counselors and it would bring our laws into line with those of Australia, Canada, Sweden and the US.”

    Yet despite long-standing support for the concept of no-fault divorce in both of the main parties in Westminster, the Government has taken no steps to introduce the reform, perhaps for fear of being accused of undermining marriage.

    Even the judges indicated in their last ruling, the law in this area now “looks like an ass.”

    Marriages break down all the time for various reasons, some trivial, some not so trivial, but do we, in the guise of law, have the right to keep people together if one person doesn’t want to end the marriage?

    Taking away the fact that the law is making someone unhappy, miserable and alone, it also creates a situation where resentment and hatred could grow and the potential to end up with more serious consequences.

    The other alternative for a quicker divorce is to lie.

    Why do we have a system where blaming our spouse for something they may not have done is a possible fix to bypass this law?

    It seems absurd that the law is making this couple stay together yet in a few years time, because of the five-year rule, the wife will automatically, and legally, get a divorce.

  18. We Blame the sugar industry for lying to us.

    We Blame the tobacco industry for over 100 years, for not telling us the truth.

    We Blame the drug dealers, but not us for demanding that they supply.

    We blame what they are doing to us, but who is doing the buying?

    Hello – is it time to wake up and think about what we are asking for?

    The Demand is greater than the supplier and we are not questioning the Responsibility of the Demand – is it because it actually suits our lifestyle?

    As a world we have a habit of blaming and pointing the finger out there, but never towards us who want what we want in the first place.

  19. A tribunal in Australia has ruled that the navy was responsible for the smoking addiction of a sailor who died of cancer after he took up the habit as a teenager to become “one of the men.”

    The military compensation commission and a review board both rejected the claim saying his smoking was a personal choice, but their decisions were overturned by the Administrative Appeals Tribunal which ruled that his smoking was caused by his military service.

    The tribunal said the military was not liable for all personnel who smoke but in this case his habit was linked to his individual circumstances, including his age and easy access to cigarettes.

    The tribunal noted that the sailor did not increase his smoking habit after leaving the navy in 2000 and eventually quit in 2005.

    How do we come up with the distinction between being liable or not?

    Is it possible that the navy is either liable for all personnel or none at all?

    Is it possible that the only person liable is the person that actually chose to smoke?

    Just like all of us who choose to smoke, drink alcohol, take drugs or do anything else that has the potential to harm ourselves, we are the ones who are choosing to do it.

    As a young man in the Army in the early 1980’s, I was also ‘encouraged’ to smoke.

    No one forced me to start.

    Just like the claimant, it was similar reasons of age, peer pressure and wanting to be ‘one of the men’ as the reasons I started smoking.

    Is it possible that at some point, we get older?

    Is it possible that at some point, peer pressure will lessen?

    Whatever reasons we want to give for doing something that may harm us, is it possible that it is always our responsibility?

    Why do we feel the need to blame others for our choices?

    We live in an increasingly litigious world where it is so much easier to blame anyone or anything else rather than be accountable for ourselves.

    If a company or organisation is negligible in ensuring our safety, then yes, there is a case to be had. But if we choose to smoke, drink, etc. then, is it possible that the choice can only be ours and therefore we cannot blame anyone else?

  20. Big news in the UK over the last 2 days has been about a large company that has gone bust.

    What is interesting is this morning this was a topic of discussion on a television breakfast program. One of the presenters was interviewing someone about this and asked “Who’s to blame?”

    When things go wrong, why do we always want to find someone to blame?

    When something goes wrong in a large company there are so many people involved how can anyone be blamed?

    In fact – why does anyone need to be blamed at all?

    What if the reporter had asked –

    ‘What is the lesson here for all of us?’ Or ‘How as a society have we behaved irresponsibly that this has been allowed to happen?’

    When things go wrong blame is not the answer.

    What if taking responsibility for what we did or did not do is the answer?

    What if a commitment to changing our behaviour and making different choices, as we go forward is what is then needed?

  21. Yesterday, a car did a crazy-dangerous manoeuvre in front of us and I pointed it out to my kids in the back.

    My eldest said ‘don’t play the blame game’.

    Such wisdom – right there.

  22. We do have a culture of blame – worldwide and it is very, very harming.

    When something goes wrong, do we all seek to identify our part in it, or do we look for the nearest person that we can blame?

    What I find deeply concerning is that this is happening in industries all over and so if we are not all open to learning from our mistakes, where do we go and how will things ever change?

    Are we then surprised if 10, 20 years later organisations find themselves repeating the same mistakes?

    There is a call for us to all STOP and start again.

    What if we did not make a move with any policy, any new procedure, nothing until everyone started to take responsibility for their part in what occurred?

    COULD that offer true healing and evolution for all?

  23. I LOVE this website.

    Many years ago I always felt I would like to express something or mention something about a news story I have read.

    What I wanted was a platform that had real life stuff with different titles where you can just go and add by way of comment whatever you want.

    BLAME – just listening to the news headlines about a fugitive on the run and the victims family and the media world wanting justice.

    Without taking sides or getting into the story, I started to realise that whenever ANYTHING and I mean absolutely anything happens, we seek blame.

    It is like we cannot rest of close the matter until the blame is acknowledged and accepted.

    I can recall in the past wanting to blame for the small minor stuff and if it was a big thing then instantly I would seek to blame this or that.
    Never is it about me or my choices or my responsibility.

    This short blog presents us with many questions and I am certain in that justice always needs to be done but let us stop, pause and look at the bigger picture here.

    We become victims and we get the world and its brothers on our side but is there a responsibility in any given situation and that we are not just victims of circumstances?

    Is this a question for the next dinner table conversation we might be having?

    Victims and blame there is a link, but what if this does not change anything when it comes to the word Evolution?
    In other words, when we blame and we are the victim, we do not truly evolve as a race of beings.

    This could be way off the mark for some but talking from my lived experience, we need to all end the blame game once and for all. It simply does not evolve us.

  24. Whilst on my daily walk I came across a traffic warden in the process of issuing a ticket to a car that was contravening the parking times.

    He had already issued a ticket to one car next to the one he was doing now, so he would have been there for some time already.

    I watched him for a good few minutes because they now have to take all sorts of photos and check the time boards so that there can be no comebacks on them.

    This car he was ticketing was right opposite a shop and just before he printed the ticket a man from another shop ran into this shop to inform the person in there. Straightaway a woman came running out of the shop to stop him but it was too late as he had inputted all of the details and the woman, resigned to the fact that she now had a ticket, walked back towards the man who had warned her, gestured with one finger and said ‘only one minute’.

    The parking restriction on this particular stretch of road is up to 10am and although the woman had come out with one or two minutes before 10am, the warden had been there several minutes beforehand.

    The woman and the man then had a conversation, which I couldn’t hear, but it was obviously about how the traffic warden wasn’t such a nice person.

    I know how the woman felt as I have received quite a few parking tickets in my time and in fact I received one only a couple of weeks ago when I had a hospital appointment and we couldn’t find anywhere to park, so I went into the hospital while my wife stayed with the car in a ‘drop off’ bay but there was a time limit in that bay which was clearly advertised but because my wife asked an ambulance crew if it was alright to wait here and they said it was, she did wait and a few days later we received the fine.

    Now I am sure that none of us like to be on the receiving end of a parking ticket, but generally, most parking tickets we receive are self-inflicted.

    We either choose not to see any restriction signs, can’t be bothered to check for any signs or simply just take a chance.

    This woman worked on this road and obviously knew the restricted times but yet was still surprised and angry when she received the ticket.

    It was far easier to blame the warden than to take responsibility for her actions which is exactly how I acted in the past whenever I received a ticket.

    Why is it, that when we are made fully aware of all of the ramifications of our actions, we are very content and comfortable with blaming everyone and everything else for the choices we make?

  25. Evening Standard – 28th February 2020

    Cyclist Has to Pay £60,000 Court Bill

    A cyclist who knocked over a pedestrian after she stepped into the road while staring at her mobile phone has been handed a £60,000 court bill.

    The cyclist collided with the pedestrian knocking her unconscious and leaving her with damage to her front teeth and facial scars.

    The cyclist was also knocked unconscious.

    While the pedestrian sued for damages, the cyclist did not launch his own legal claim.

    The court heard that the pedestrian was looking at her mobile phone when she stepped into the road, noticing the cyclist at the last minute as he shouted and sounded a horn. However, she dodged backwards into the same place that the cyclist was swerving to try to avoid a collision.

    The judge found they were “equally to blame” but as the pedestrian was the only one suing, she was awarded damages and the court also ruled that the cyclist must pay her legal fees.

    Following the controversial compensation ruling, cyclists rushed to get insurance and a fundraising campaign was launched to cover the cyclists legal bills.

    Reading between the lines here, is it possible that the judge in this case is saying that we do not have to take any responsibility when we cross a road if we are using our phones?

    In this case, the outcome was that there were only injuries. What happens next time if someone were to be killed in this scenario?

    The decision made in this case would suggest that, if it did happen again, the cyclist would be charged with manslaughter and receive a prison sentence.

    The pedestrian walks into the road while looking at her phone.

    The cyclist warns the pedestrian and tries to avoid them but collides with the pedestrian.

    Both the cyclist and the pedestrian get injured.

    Because the cyclist didn’t put a claim in, he was lumbered with damages and the pedestrian’s legal costs.

    Is it possible that, common decency let alone common sense, dictates that the cyclist should be the only one that puts in a claim for damages?

    It seems ridiculous that the only reason that this man has been left with this court bill is because he didn’t put a claim in himself.

    Is it possible that there is something wrong with our legal system when someone can take no responsibility for their actions and get away with it?

    We live in, and have done so for quite some time now, a very litigious society and this case in particular highlights the irresponsibility in making a claim when we are at fault.

    This reminds me of an incident several years ago when a woman was walking through a US shopping mall, all the while engrossed in her mobile phone and she walked straight to a water fountain and fell in.

    She then sued the mall.

    Why do we feel we can blame someone else for OUR mistakes?

    Where is our responsibility?

  26. Just reading the Dr. Max Pemberton page in the weekend newspaper, Daily Mail on Saturday 27 June.

    In one article he mentioned the following and it stood out, so I feel it’s worth a comment on this blog about Blame.

    “The past decade or so has seen the rise of a grievance culture in which too many people blame others for their faults and difficulties and seem to revel in being a victim. In my work I have seen patients who wallow in self-pity, holding on to their grievance like a talisman and allowing it to dominate their life.
    I tell them that one of the scary things about being an adult is that you are responsible for your own life. Your mistakes are no one’s fault but your own.”

    I never heard the term ‘grievance culture” but I certainly know it is around and how it keeps people circulating their story and playing the victim, so never do we have to own up with honesty and say we had a hand in it and stop the blame.

    From my past a very long time ago, I was unable to move out of the victim pity pot mode for years and it was like a downward spiral. Looking back and reflecting on it now, I can say that a good dose of honesty at the time was missing and the word Responsibility was not on my radar.

    Today blame never ever would be on my radar and playing victim would serve no purpose so I just would not go there.

    The thing about blame is we seek out others who will support us in our story telling and that way we hold on to those grievances as Dr. Max mentions which basically are our deep hurts.

    It is a responsible adult that would deal with the hurts – call it out instead of burying it further into their body and looking for others to confirm them with sympathy or pity. It ends the blame game, gets us to be real so we can grow up once and for all. We can then inspire others by how we choose to live and not be part of the ‘grievance culture’ mentioned above.

    I say this simply coming from my own life experience and it sure works and makes life amazing and joy-full to say the least.

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