Let Go, LETTING GO

What does it actually mean to Let Go? 

Let Go of what and WHY?

We all know that letting go means no longer holding on to something or someone.

We live in a world that is constantly moving and changing and things come and things go and yet so many of us have an issue with letting go.

What is it that we need to let go of?
What would happen if we did choose to let go?
What changes if we avoid letting go?
What are our fears about letting go?
Why is it so hard to let go?
Why is this letting go business so difficult?
Why is letting go not so easy for some of us?
Why is letting go a complicated thing at times?

WHY is letting go important for us?

Why do we go around and around when we KNOW that letting go could instantly change things for us? 

Let’s look at our Concise Oxford English dictionary and what it has to say about Let Go

Allow someone or something to go free
Relinquish one’s grip on someone or something (1) 

Relinquish meansvoluntarily cease to keep or claim; give up (1)

In other words –

We ALLOW for something or someone to go free and move
We choose to end our claim to someone or something
We voluntarily cease to keep someone or something
We give ourselves permission to give up someone or something

DID YOU KNOW

In the UK the majority of people use their garage as storage for clutter and not their car.

Survey by RAC Insurance says ‘Home Owners store £15,000,000,000 of items in their sheds.
Fifteen billion pounds is around $20,130,000,000. (2)

Storage Space is big business in the UK.

In 2014, this industry had an annual revenue of nearly £500,000,000. (3)
The most well-known storage company in the UK has an annual revenue of nearly £60,000,000.
Their average store size is 63,000 square feet. (4)

With the rise in consumption, there has also been a rise in hoarding. (5)

The Culture of More, More, More –
The biggest factor is simply that we live in a society where you are encouraged to think (some might say programmed) that your self-worth is tied to how much “stuff” you have. When you are told that you have more value if you have more stuff, then the instinct is to go and purchase or acquire that stuff. But what do you do with it then?
In reality, you probably don’t need very much of the same “stuff” you have acquired, so it turns into clutter. This is probably the biggest issue with why clutter is so predominant in the first world.’

The Consumer Media Machine –
The consumer media monster is everywhere – and it is telling you that you need to buy more, more and more.’

The Association between Emotion and “Stuff” –
When you assign a mental or emotional value to a thing, it makes it much harder to let go of it. This then leads to clutter.’ (6)

Could it be possible that we buy things to reward us and think it will make us ‘happy’?

The Extremes of Not Letting Go

Under the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) hoarding has been given its own classification of Hoarding disorder. (7)

‘Hoarding disorder is considered a significant problem when –

The amount of clutter interferes with everyday living – for example, the person is unable to use their kitchen or bathroom and cannot access rooms.

The clutter causes significant distress or negatively affects the person’s quality of life or their family’s. For example, they may become upset if someone tries to clear the clutter and their relationships with others suffer as a result.’ (8)

The death of someone close can lead to a worsening of hoarding behavior. (9)

Between 2 – 5% of adults in the UK may have symptoms of a hoarding disorder. (8)
Up to 6% of the USA population experience compulsive hoarding.
That is around 19 million Americans. (10)

Hoarding can cause a lot of damage to property, affecting walls, causing damp and condensation due to poor care e.g. lack of ventilation and depending on what is being hoarded.
Hoarding is not limited to money, books, newspapers and carrier bags but also includes poo and urine in the most extreme cases.
This can result in thousands of pounds of repairs for landlords, with £20,000 quoted in one case recently discussed with me by a housing officer in London.

I was also told about a case where social care staff standing outside a hoarded property being cleared, flared up in allergies.

A study in 2012 in New York found that 22% of people threatened with eviction and seeking intervention had a hoarding problem. This condition has been linked with homelessness. (10)

The above is telling us that this holding on stuff is a big problem and it is not going away.

So how does this go on in real life every day and how does it affect us?

If we start with honesty – could we list things that we hold on to?
Anyone or anything that we know is not truly supporting us in our life?

Could we start with the ‘stuff’ we have in our room, apartment, house or garage?
Could we go deeper and admit some of our relationships are not helping us?
Could we get really honest and say we are not sure why we cannot let go of harmful relationships?

What about our deep buried hurts?

Have we ever stopped and asked where did all those hurts from our painfull past go?
Have we ever wondered what happens to us because we never let go of our deep hurts?
Have we ever asked could our body be holding onto some of this ‘stuff’ that is buried?

Is there a direct correlation with having a weight issue and holding on to our emotional stuff, our past hurts and our clutter?

According to studies by the National Institute of Health there is a connection between overeating and hoarding.

In a 2011 publication of the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Timpano et al discovered that a genetic variation in a gene sequence led to a brain disorder responsible for hoarding and overeating in both human and non-human animals.

BDNF (Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor) protein “disorder” leads to changes in the central nervous system and is linked with:

  • Memory impairment
  • Greater avoidance of things that seem unpleasant, like cleaning or limiting food intake
  • Greater anxiety at having to throw away something that has great meaning or fearing that if it is thrown away, it will be needed and you don’t have it
  • Aggression, often directed at oneself or at others who are critical of the way you live
  • Obesity (11)

It makes sense that when we eat too much, we are hoarding food inside our body.

‘Research in children found that loss of control over food intake (overeating) was linked with difficulties in regulating emotions as well.’ (11)

Could it be possible that constipation is a sign that we are holding on to emotions?

Could it be possible that when our internal system is not letting go and doing its natural job in the poo department, it may just have something to do with not LETTING GO?

Could it be possible that there is tension in our body because we are not letting go of things that have come to a natural end?

Could it be possible that not letting go creates anxiousness?

Could it be possible that our bloated big belly has something to do with holding on?

Could it be possible that we can see a pattern in our behaviour when it comes to letting go?

Could it be possible that we are only willing to let go of certain things?

Could it be possible that we know what is right but we are frightened of taking the next step?

Could it be possible that we are invested in all these images we have in our mind, about how life should be and letting go would mean a scary future?

Could it be possible that we want to have a guarantee that our future is certain and so we choose not to let go?

Could it be possible that by not letting go of things that hurt us in life, we stay stuck on some level and don’t really move on?

Could it be possible that letting go and moving on is actually a natural way of living?

Could it be possible that letting go supports our Evolution?

Could it be possible that we think we don’t know how to Let Go?
Could it be possible that we feel it is too hard to Let Go?

What if our patterns of holding on can become entrenched and hurt us?
What if holding on becomes destructive to our health and well-being?
What if holding on guarantees no change?
What if holding on keeps us feeling stuck?
What if we know that holding on can become our foundation?

What if we are aware on some level that this holding on stuff is not serving us?
What if we truly let go, what would happen to our –

Bodies
Organs
Posture
Sleep
Computer
Paperwork
House
Garage
True health and well-being?

What if this holding on is just a delay button we keep pressing to stop us moving on?

As the author of this blog, I can say that I was stuck in my ways and holding on was just how I lived and at no point did I question WHY. Letting go was not on my radar.

2005 – Enter Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and I got some answers to this big fat problem.

  • Addiction to shopping and hoarding and super ‘organised clutter’
  • Big fat houses to hide the clutter and look like there was plenty of space
  • Consistently bloated and weight issue
  • Loved comfort foods
  • Deep buried emotional hurts and no intention to deal with them
  • Buying stuff and in denial about what was coming up
  • Letting go of things and then instantly replace them with something else
  • Feeling protected in some way by having ‘things’ that held no meaning or purpose

In brief, I was going around and around and arriving at the same point and truly letting go of anything was not happening.

I came to understand that our life and everything in our world is about cycles. There is not really a beginning or an end even though it was convenient to think like that.

So I started to apply what I had learned about numbers simply because it made some sense.
So number 1 was a new beginning.
Number 9 was the end of the cycle.
10 would be a number 1 again, so back to the new beginning.

Put that into everyday practical Simple Living and things started to change in a way that I could not even dream was possible.

I reckon God put me on this earth this time round to get on with this number 9.

I knew that this letting go business was not an overnight action programme but a lifelong process of me discarding anything and EVERYTHING that no longer serves me, so I could get on with LIVING life and not just existing in my complicated old way of being.

So on every day of the month that has the number nine – 9th 18th 27th – I have a plan.

It is a date in the calendar that I take note of and use as an opportunity to review my life and this goes on even now.

The following list is some old stuff and the rest is an ongoing reminder to keep refining anything that is not Truth.

LET GO of anything that no longer serves me
LET GO of anything that no longer supports me
LET GO of anything that does not feel true
LET GO of anything that is complicated
LET GO of anything that is in the way of my evolution
LET GO of anything that I can feel is harmfull
LET GO of my own demands on how I should think and act in this world
LET GO of behaviours that were hurting my body
LET GO of all the pictures in my head of how life should be
LET GO of ideals about life that have been fed to me
LET GO of beliefs that were never true and yet I followed them
LET GO of constantly comparing myself to others
LET GO of following others who looked like they had better lives
LET GO of living in big fat houses used simply to hoard stuff
LET GO of all the diets that never worked
LET GO of Champagne Lifestyle with Lemonade Money
LET GO of living in ga-ga land aka airy-fairy world
LET GO of clothes and shoes that are not me now
LET GO of writing 300 christmas cards
LET GO of the need for recognition in what I do
LET GO of any disregarding and abusive way of living
LET GO of emails and end the ‘just in case syndrome’
LET GO and ask WHY you want that which you know is hurting you
LET GO and put an end to that which does not belong

This included nicey nice and painfull relationships
This included deep hurts
This included trying to be someone I was not
This included excess weight loss
This included plastic cards shopping trips
This included washing detergent to keep a family going for 10 years
This included a triple garage with stuff that was never looked at
This included empty boxes that filled up a whole loft
This included bags, any bags just incase
This included spiritual new age books
This included over 500 CD’s
This included leaving university which was only to please my dad
This included kitchen appliances that lived in boxes, never used
This included bank statements since the year dot
This included food that was slowly killing me
This included monthly subscription to the wine club
This included monthly delivery from the chocolate club
This included internet shopping on auto pilot mode
This included the mega channel TV contract
And so it goes on and on …

What are the benefits if ALL this stuff goes?

Life is super simple
Living life by understanding cycles
Feeling content about Back to Basics stuff
Nothing is a big deal
Equipped to deal with any issue that life presents
Super small organised home with space
Clean and clear office with order
No more playing the Blame game
There is space to truly breathe
No more garage or spare room with clutter
House can breathe as no longer holding onto stuff
NO MORE ABUSE
No more desire to shop, shop and shop
No more acid reflux with bad food habits
No need to drink alcohol to take the edge off life
No more addiction to colonics
No more bread belly
No more Cold Hands and Cold Feet
No more coughs and colds
No more tight chest
No more hardness in the body
No more tension or pressure in the head department
Shoulders are not heavy with burden
Poo department all ok – thank you very much

Cupboards and drawers say thank you as they are constantly reviewed
Emails are going and not sitting around
Space to write blogs like this consistently
Always have time to get out in the community and engage with others
More awareness of what is actually going on in the world
Opportunity to set a new way of living
A great night’s sleep everyday
No more popping pills for this and that
Consistently feeling the joy of knowing I am not hurting myself or others

Aware that life is most certainly not about holding on but letting go consistently of anything and everything that no longer supports our evolution.
By the way in case you haven’t noticed we are in month 9
Add up our year and it comes to 9

So WHAT IF we spent a bit more time in September letting go and ending cycles before another new beginning – month 10.

We could of course say this number thing is a load of twaddle but having LIVED with numbers for a long time now, I feel there is something in it.

Reading the newspaper on the train I read this –
“There is something psychological about September …
Whilst we may not make resolutions in the same way we do at new year, we may still resolve to change a situation that has been making us unhappy for some time”. – Elaine Taylor, Relate, Cambridge Office (12)

WHY September?

Could it be possible the ending cycles in month 9 is what this lady is saying?
Could it be possible that this numerology stuff is teaching us something, if we stay open?

Could it be possible that living our life in cycles is actually our natural way of living?
Could it be possible that numbers were around way before words and so going Back to Basics, how life used to be lived, may just hold some answers for us?

Could it be that simple?

Disclaimer

I am no medical expert, science lab lady or any other professional academic telling you all what to do based on my knowledge and research.

What I claim is that I have a PhD (if there was ever one) in common sense.

NEXT – LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE

WHAT IF if we all started doing our bit by LETTING GO of what we know and can feel is not deeply and truly supporting us in our life.

What effect would this have on our own health and well-being?
What effect would this have on our family and friends?
What effect would this have in the work we do?
What effect would this have if we are studying?
What effect would this have for our community?
What effect would this have at the local re-cycle place?
What effect would this have on the landfill sites?
What effect would this have on our waste industry?
What effect would this have on the Goodwill Charity shops?
What effect would this have on Mother Earth?

What effect would this have on society?

Less stress on landfill
Mother Earth not congested
Marine Life can breathe again
Less tension as no more credit card bills
Real respect for our body and our environment
The End to all Abuse
NO MORE dreading the future

Is this possible?
Does this make any sense?
Could it be that simple?

Are we open and willing to at least consider what this blog is presenting?

References

(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011

(2) (2016, April 12). Brits Keep £15bn of Goods in Garden Sheds. RAC
http://www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/brits-keep-15bn-of-goods-in-garden-sheds

(3) Yearsley, W. (2014, April 14). Self-Storage: The Men Who Got Rich Selling Empty Space
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-26921870

(4) (2016). The Big Firms. Storage.co.uk.
http://www.storage.co.uk/about-self-storage/the-big-operators

(5) Matoorah, G. (n.d). Revealed – Why Self-Storage is Now Big Business in the UK
http://www.safehouse-ss.com/revealed-why-self-storage-is-now-big-business-in-the-uk

(6) (2015, January 19). Is Clutter a First World Problem? Postconsumers.com
http://www.postconsumers.com/education/first-world-problem-clutter

(7) (2013). Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders. American Psychiatric Association
http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Obsessive%20Compulsive%20Disorders%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf

(8) (2015, June 19). Hoarding Disorder. NHS
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Hoarding/pages/introduction.aspx

(9) (2009). Hoarding Fact Sheet. International OCD Foundation
https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Hoarding-Fact-Sheet.pdf

(10) Solovitch, S. (2016, April 11). Hoarding is a Serious Disorder – and it’s only Getting Worse in the U.S. The Washington Post
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/hoarding-is-serious-disorder–and-its-only-getting-worse-in-the-us/2016/04/11/b64a0790-f689-11e5-9804-537defcc3cf6_story.html

(11) (2016, January 23). New Research Shows Link Between Obesity and Hoarding. HealDove
https://healdove.com/mental-health/Your-body-is-a-temple-not-a-store-house-ten-tips-to-lose-the-weight-and-the-clutter-in-your-life

(12) Binns, D. (2016, August 30). The Summer Holidays Are Over, so Let’s Get Divorced. Metro

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Comments 63

  1. Reading this blog makes me want to have a massive clear out. I knew I was a hoarder and I ‘manage’ it better now than ever before, but I have never wanted to look at why that is (or indeed at the possibility I have a disorder!). The ‘could it be possible’ questions here make it more pressing somehow, actually to take a look at that and then maybe seeing the truth behind it will mean the clearing out remains cleared rather than creating a vacuum for more stuff to come in. The ‘poo department’ bits made me laugh out loud – interesting to consider the possibility that holding on/not letting go can affect us deeply and physically, not just in lack of shelf space. Also this number 9 business is really intriguing. The number 9 has pervaded my life – it pops up everywhere for me. I definitely believe in the power and significance of numbers – if it is even a small possibility that the number 9 is an invitation to let go then what an opportunity September and all those 9 days in between give us.

    1. Great comment Jenifer Swallow and you make some valid points here.
      I wonder how many of us have become mini masters at ‘managing’ our stuff because we are super organised on some level.
      Those ‘could it be possible’ questions bring to light that maybe there is something more we need to look at with our holding on behaviours and once that is addressed this could be gone from our life as it has for the author who shares the before and after.
      Yes it is ‘interesting to consider the possibility that holding on/not letting go can affect us deeply and physically, not just in lack of shelf space’.
      Also worth considering if this number 9 thing has some meaning because numbers have been around a long long time and we cannot dismiss the Science of Numerology just because it has not been tested in controlled conditions in a laboratory. In others words lets think it does not exist or hold any meaning because it is not evidence based.

  2. I have just entered a 9 year being 27 years old now. The questions you’ve shared here make a lot of sense and while I have for a few years now felt the benefits of letting go of stuff in my body and in my home (which are always linked, if something inside shifts I feel an urge to clean outside and likewise when I let go of something in my home something inside shifts) it feels good to ask these questions again, to repeat and go deeper. Thank you.

    1. Thank You Leigh Matson. I agree it is always good to ask questions and this is how we learn and evolve. There is so much more to this letting go business and I feel it is an ongoing process. This takes the whole thing to another level as it is calling to account that we are constantly changing and so anything that no longer supports us in truth, in our evolution does need letting go. Yes its hard but if we do small things then there is a chance we will let go of bigger things that harm us, have no purpose or meaning.

  3. I know there is a PhD in common sense talking here. I am thrilled that this blog exists and speaks, in simple language, volumes to what is going on for us. Finally someone getting down to the roots of the pack rat syndrome we all know is a problem for so many.

    Letting go is so basic and so needed… and yet so un-addressed.
    I have been noticing that although so many carry the weights of inner & outer struggles we seem to manufacture meaningless conversation instead of expressing and sharing where we are at with each other.

    I got fed up with my own avoidance of what really matters. I whole heartedly welcome and appreciate this blog site and its author.

    Instead of feeling I have less, letting go is most certainly supporting me to be more of who I am & I feel more and more wealthy & enriched the more I let go of…

    My dad did it; anyone can do it.

    1. TOP COMMENT Jo – love it !
      Great point you make that letting go is ‘so un-addressed’.
      What you say here is pure gold “we seem to manufacture meaningless conversation instead of expressing and sharing where we are at with each other. Letting go is certainly supporting me to be more of who I am”.
      This speaks volumes if you can read between the lines so to speak.
      Having less is more but not in tangible dense things we call stuff. Be it the old broken table our grandmother left us or our issues buried deep that are full of hurt. Once we let go we feel lighter and more open and change is the next step. No brainer really.

  4. I am understanding that the tension in my body is about my attachment to how I think things should be.

    When I believe something should be someway and it does not happen it just sets me up to react. For me this reaction causes tension in my body.

    With support from Simple Living Global, I am letting go of many beliefs I have lived my life around.

    It feels so amazing to let go of stuff, my body is thanking me and it allows the real me to come out!

    1. This is a great comment as we tend to think letting go is all about things, items, that garage stuff but what about our many long held beliefs.
      What about our relationships that are abusive and deeply harmfull?
      What about our old stuck ingrained behaviour that we know bugs us?

      What you say is true as I have also experience that letting go does feel amazing and my body says thanks as the real me gets permission to come out. It is not buried and hiding under something or someone that no longer supports me in truth or has no meaning or purpose.

  5. As I go deeper with this concept of ‘letting go’ I am aware that the things I have had the most difficulty letting go of are when I know I have not been myself, have not taken full responsibility in something & this has caused disharmony & pain, I then react by “holding on” like a snapping turtle, to “what could have been”, thinking I am ‘trying to fix it’, thinking that if I hold onto it I may find a way to correct it but essentially I am just abusing/punishing myself for the harm my ‘mistake’ caused. In doing this I literally prevent myself being able to meet the next thing that will unfold to offer me a true opportunity to have “another go”.

    When I do let go, accept and allow & see my ‘mistakes’ as the ‘learnings’ that they are, I am much more able to be the ME who can ‘respond’ to & meet the next life experience with the love that is required.

    1. Many of us could relate to your ‘snapping turtle’ example here Jo. It makes sense as we somehow go into this ‘trying to correct a mistake’ which we know from the start was a mistake. How is it that we as humans find it so hard to accept when we make a mistake?

      What if our young children had their first class at school about how to connect with their body and BE with themselves before anything else. From this connection they are educated to ACCEPT that mistakes are ok and a part of learning. They are also given more wisdom like why it is important to not harm their body but to listen to it. How to honour what they feel above anything else and not be afraid to express that throughout life. What if they got the sense that lying is not normal so they have permission to use their inbuilt radar that is deeply honest from the start.

      Sounds way off to many but this is what we need if we are to ever see any real change in the long term as these youngsters are our future adults.

      1. As I imagine what it would be like if the first class in school was about how to connect to our bodies and be with ourselves before anything else and that part of learning is making mistakes; I am nearly crying… so much pain would not have been! But now I am giving myself this class in the Simple Living Global Back to Basics Program and it is helping me to melt my old ways of hurting myself.

  6. I am making an intention to let go of the drive that has driven me to a lot of pain and exhaustion in my life!
    Just saying that brings tears to my eyes.
    So much appreciation to Simple Living Global for supporting me to let go of all the things that do not support me and to allow the real me to surface.

    1. Interesting what you say here Ken about Letting Go allows the real you to surface.
      This makes sense as we seem to hold on to things and it does not allow the space for us to be who we truly are.
      The other thing that letting go does is it ends complication.
      Life becomes simple – super simple and clear. Like the fog has lifted.
      I am a walking talking proof of this as I LIVE this in my daily life every single day.
      No surprise I choose to write on a website called SIMPLE LIVING.

  7. What you say about September is so interesting Simple Living Global, as Metro newspaper on 22nd September 2016 reported on ‘Why September is the new January in gyms.’ This was based on a study that showed there were 31,700 more gym visits in Britain in September 2015, compared to August. The reason? Researchers say people wanting to get back in shape after the ‘summer holiday indulgence.’

    There is definitely something in this about September being a month of change. To follow on from that in my team at work we had an exceptionally busy few months with 2-3 times the number of cases coming through into the team in September than usual. We were discussing this in a team meeting and everyone was asking WHY? Collectively we could not find a reason but I thought of this blog and shared that September is a month of change. We then clocked that yes we see an increase in January too. This confirms to me that there are particular times in the year when we naturally do let go of what is no longer working.

    1. There is something here in the numbers and one day the world will understand the Science of Numerology by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine.
      This man knows what he is talking about and is light years ahead.

      We cannot ignore comments like yours Shevon and whilst the majority think its weird, random or have no logic explanation, what if there is more that we don’t quite understand or know about yet?

  8. I can so relate to this blog. I spent all my life up until a few years blaming my parents for my messed up life and others around me. That NOT LETTING GO built up and had an impact on the way I lived and my body took a battering to which I now have to deal. Imagine I am just one person. If you count how many people walk round like that everyday lacing the world with it, it is scary. I for one learned that Letting Go comes with RESPONSIBILITY and when you Accept and take responsibility for the CHOICES you make be it good or bad it Allows you to move forward and leave that Resentment behind.

    1. I appreciate your powerful words Priscilla; I feel how the power comes by the fact that you are speaking from experience about letting go.

      I have been working on letting go and can relate to what you express here. I realize I can not move on when I am holding onto something and that has stunted me so much in my life…

      I feel now how great my responsibility is to deepen my self-honesty and self-compassion so I can let go, so I can move forward and evolve; move forward out of the struggle and hurt and be the loving person I really am in this world.

      1. Thank you Priscilla and Jo for adding more to this blog to expand on this Letting Go business. I agree Jo that there is always power that we can feel if someone is writing from lived experience. It holds a quality that feels strong.
        Next – Letting go comes with that word RESPONSIBILITY as you say Priscilla and we can really apply it to every area of our life. This is not just about letting go of clutter or our hurts from the past but we can let go of stuff everyday.
        Example to share is you get emails that you delete and then they come back and more join the list. How about we ‘unsubscribe’ so it stops the stuff coming again. Yes it will take a few precious minutes but one less thing to deal with and you get the space once you have let go. Same with post – why are we so quick to chuck it out but not actually return to sender to stop the cycle completely. Again well worth the few seconds it takes to do this simple action. Big picture is less paper wasted and going into landfill or recycling.

        We sometimes don’t even realise that we can actually let go of struggle in our life. Like everything else it is a choice.

  9. I am understanding that I do not trust the world enough to let go. When I feel the concept of letting go there is relief and fear mixed. The relief is amazing, my body melts, tears flow, and I know this is the way. I also understand that sometimes things need to fall apart, so why is it so hard to let go?

    With support from Simple Living Global, l am starting to feel the support that has always been there. As I feel this support, I am starting to let go and trust that everything will be ok.

  10. I decided after reading this blog that I want to let go of my need to control life. Since I am so good at doing things to achieve a goal, I decided that I would just let go. I found that this did not work because I was trying to let go. So I am slowly getting it that I do not have to “do” anything to let go. That belief is what is in my way. So I am saying to myself that I do not have do anything to let go, and slowly it is sinking in. It feels incredible to actually believe that I don’t have to do anything to let go, just be me!

    1. Control is a big one Ken for many of us in the world today and we want things our way so we do our best and make sure we manipulate the situation or do whatever it takes so it works out just how the picture in our head wants. Living a life where the images in our mind is the end goal leaves our body in a state of tension and hardness.
      What is it and WHY are we wanting to control?
      Could it be possible that we have a picture of how we want things to be or turn out and so we make sure we do what we can to have that outcome?
      Could it be possible that if it does not then we react?
      Could it be possible that underneath this control is deep hurt?
      Is this way off and just too much for most of us now to even contemplate?

  11. Why do humans have such a hard time with letting go? It is an essential part of our world that things change. I have watched sheep give birth to a lamb and then for some reason totally refuse to take care of it. Nothing that I did could change the fact that that mom did not feel it was worth it to take care of the lamb, It just totally abandoned it. Heartless you may think, but I grew to trust the sheeps wisdom when it came to producing lambs.

    When a mother bird loses its babbys to a preditor, it does everything in its power to prevent it, but when it happens it just moves on and builds another nest. No attachment, just get on with it.

    Do animals have a more intelligent way of dealing with loss? Many humans spend there whole life dealing with a hurt.

    The concept that everything happens for a reason, is something humans need to consider. It allows us to look at a situation and be open to a possible message that is there.

  12. Part of my inability to let go is I feel safer with what is familiar, no matter how not loving it may be.

    I was sitting outside in the sun and a diesel truck went by and I got a whiff of diesel exhaust. This smell, although toxic to my body, brought me back to a exciting time of my life when I was a commercial fisherman. However the smell of diesel exhaust used to make my seasickness worse when I was out on the ocean and being seasick is a extremely unpleasant experience, yet when I smelled the exhaust today and knew that it was yucky, it still brought back a feeling of comfort.

    I sat with this feeling and realized that it felt comfortable because it was familiar.

    I am getting more connected to a place inside of me that feels so familiar that it brings tears of joy and relief. And it has always been there and always will, and no one can take it away from me. No more looking outside of myself for answers, I have everything I need inside me, just waiting for me.

  13. I loved reading this blog, much to learn about letting go of things that no longer serve us and keep us prisoners in these hurts.

    I certainly was a hoarder of emotions and no amount of high fibre helped me let go of them!

    I have seen so many people harp on about the past and I was no different, whining about the past didn’t get me anywhere and to be honest I didn’t see the positive in anything, I didn’t like being around me.

    My life turned around in 2014, I started to learn so much about myself and hanging onto things was not helping my life, I had to make the decision to take responsibility and commit to it.

    Emotions was high on my bucket list and things have started to shift as I started to Iet go of emotions, alcohol, diary, gluten and many other things. I still have a way to go but I made the decision, I’m not turning back to my old ways – absolutely no way.

  14. It’s the 27th today – a ‘9’ day if you add up the numbers. Today I’ll be ‘relinquishing my grip’ on life needing to look a certain way or myself in it. Let’s see what it’s like if I just allow it to be what it is and really let myself see all the unnecessary needs and complications.

  15. Thank you Simple Living Global for another very insightful blog.

    Thanks also to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I know from personal experience that letting go of my emotions, my deep hurts and expressing more of how I was feeling helped in losing weight. I have lost over 12 stone in weight and looking at what I was eating had a huge impact on my weight but it got to a point where the weight loss stagnated and I wasn’t losing any more weight. What I found very interesting was that when I truly started to express what I was feeling and not hold back on what I wanted to say, the weight loss continued.

    For me, that was a clear sign that ‘Letting Go’ is more than just going to the toilet.

    Holding onto our emotions or deep hurts is no different than holding onto a stack of old newspapers, magazines or anything else that we may choose to hoard and clutter up our homes with.

    Once we have let go of anything that we are holding onto, the energy release is amazing.

    For me, once I had let go of clutter or expressed an old hurt or feeling, I felt so much lighter in myself, I would sleep better and it gave me more energy.

    To make sure our home is never cluttered anymore, my wife and I regularly visit areas of our home, the units in the kitchen, cupboards, wardrobes, shoes, etc. and review what we have. If it hasn’t been used for a long time we will let it go or if it has worn out or looks shabby, we will let it go and/or buy a new one if it needs replacing. We have been doing this for around 8 years now.

    As this blog says, ‘Letting Go’ is so much more than getting rid of clutter or toilet business.
    If we choose to look deep enough and be honest about our emotions, feelings, relationships and friends, we may find that what we thought was something that we couldn’t do without was actually the very thing we need to ‘Let Go’ of.

    1. That’s a fantastic approach and a great tip – to review the different areas of the house regularly.

      I can vouch for the feeling of lightness at letting go of clutter and having a good clear out. I have gradually been clearing out the ‘stuff’ I have accumulated over the years and with each layer that goes, it’s like taking off a heavy old coat. It not only creates space in the house but the body somehow feels lighter too.

      I cleared out our loft storage yesterday and binned so much stuff – mostly ‘just in case’ and ‘remember when’ and ‘not sure, let’s deal with it later’ stuff. All of it gone. When my eldest son came home and saw the space he said ‘wow, this room can really breathe now’.

      Says it all really.

    2. Love your comment Tim. It’s incredible what expressing feelings and letting go of old emotions can do, for you it continued your weight loss, for me it stopped my migraines and the feelings of frustration and resentment because I had not expressed what was there. Also letting go of wanting to be in control has been a big one for me and as I have done this it has been an eye opener as to how much I have wanted to be in control.

      As I let go of old emotions, behaviours, patterns in me I find I am more accepting of myself, have far less expectations from life or attachments to outcomes, I have much more energy, feel lighter and I have joy in my life . Letting go is powerful stuff and I love how my body responds and feels from doing this.

  16. Right on Tim! I feel that all the letting go of all the feelings I have not wanted to feel in my life, is a huge factor in my healing process. And letting go of feelings and emotions are just feeling them.

    I am so much less reactive to life.
    Less tension in my body.
    Surrendering to life. Trusting that I am ok.
    So much easier to accept things and understand why they happen.
    Trusting myself that it is ok to feel everything and that my body knows how to deal with it.
    I do not have too do anything just let go and be me.
    There is so much support if I let go of any pictures of how I think life should be.

  17. I have lived a very physical life. Worked outside and loved playing sports and because of this, I have fallen and hurt myself a number times.

    I came to understand that when I fall, like when I am skiing, I hurt myself less if I just relax and just allow myself to fall.
    If my body is tight, holding on, it is less flexible and less able to absorb the impact.

    I am bringing this realisation to other parts of my life. Letting go and trusting that I do not have to be hard and forceful to get through life.
    Maybe let things fall apart. Surrendering to myself and my body. This gives me access to all the support and love that is all around, just waiting for me.

  18. I am understanding the power of letting go of how I think things should be.
    If I am attached to how my day will go, I limit the unlimited possibilities that are available.

    I had things I needed to do, but something happened that changed my priorities. So I stopped, decided to just go with the flow, not react to the change. This choice totally changed my experience of the day.

    Not only was it less stressful but it allowed my day to evolve more naturally. I drove slower, got all the green lights, got to talk with a beautiful woman at the store, found everything I needed, everything just felt right.

    It also allows me to see and feel all the amazingness that is surrounding me. Wow, that’s how to live!

  19. The one thing we can always count on is that things will change. No matter how much we resist. The resistance just causes us pain.

    This concept has helped me in the later part of my life to look at things that happen in my life as a message.
    If I can listen to the message then it will go because I do not need it anymore.

    When I can do this it helps me not react, which distorts the message and then I have to get the message again.

    Maybe that is why we want to hang onto stuff because deep down we feel there is a message there.

    So be open to all that happens in our lives, understand that it happened for reason, we are all learning and listen to the message, then let it go.

  20. I recently requested a skype session with the author of this blog, to get some support around making a change in jobs and a place to live.

    I asked her why we have not sold our RV camper.
    Her response was – “could it be possible that we have not totally let go of it”?

    This question helped me go deeper and I realized there was a part of me that was hanging on to the RV, just in case we needed it.

    It was a huge realization about being really honest about making a choice. If you really want to let go of something you have to go all the way.

    It really is all about committing to Life. Letting go of the past, live the future now. Go for it!

  21. I found for many years Letting Go of stuff was very HARD. I would spend 24 hours a day on an endless cycle of BLAME, ANGER and most of all Not Loving myself at all.

    Over the past 7 years I have spent learning to Connect to my Body more and by doing this has enabled me to Let Go of stuff alot easier. I have noticed that if I HANG ON to something it is not usually about that person who has upset me but something inside me that I have not resolved.

    As a human race it so easy to BLAME someone else for what is going wrong in our life. You only have to look outward into the world to see that.

    Letting go is not just about the emotional stuff but also a wake up call to look at how we Truly Live on a daily basis. We cant spend a life time holding on to Hurts and expect our body to be OK. It is not only a waste of time but all we do is HARM ourself and others.

  22. I was just talking to someone today about this letting go business and how it really is a process. I don’t think it is that easy to just do it in one go as things – items that we collect, hoard or simply hold onto – tend to have some form of attachment and most of us may not even be aware of it.

    As a serial collector of nonsense, as that is what is comes down to, I feel I am an expert to talk about this subject. Not because I have studied the ins and outs and got some theory to bang on about, but simply because it is lived experience.

    What came to mind was collecting these bone china animals that cost a bomb and are simply for a show cabinet. All that dusting and then adding to the collection was such a drain but somehow I was attached and I knew that. I was actually addicted to shopping and this collection was just one of many things. What a total utter waste looking back.

    There was no purpose and what’s the point and who for and WHY?

    Asking questions and asking why on earth I did what I did got me to where I am today.

    I call myself a work in progress as this is what my life is all about. I am forever reviewing and refining what we have in our home and the grand news is there is zero need to fill up the space if I let go of something.

    If it truly supports then yes, but as life is constantly evolving and we are consistently changing, this reviewing stuff makes sense.

    I sometimes look and feel something is no longer serving me and I let it go. It can be a cardigan or a saucepan that is simply not needed.

    What I do at this point is feel if there is someone who would benefit and then give it to them.

    I am blown away from the feedback and I realise this has changed people’s lives. My stuff is in such great condition and I know others feel the value and quality that I hold and regard everything I own. To me every item deserves to have that deep care that I have for myself.

    1. This is inspiring Bina, that you give everything you own the deep care you give yourself. I can feel how everyone that is given something from you gets so much more than the item you have given them by the quality you live and bring to everything. How amazing would it be if we all did this..

  23. Simple Living Global has supported me to understand, nominate, and let go of many of my beliefs and issues, that have got in the way of me being me and getting on with my life.

    This is an on going process, but it has relieved much of the anxiety, stress, and body tension I have created in my life by holding on to all that stuff.

    It basically is a process of truly feeling what is happening and allowing the body to deal with it. Trusting that I am able to deal with what ever is happening or happened in the past.

    This had been a life changing process. I feel our beliefs and issues are the main reason why we have not been able to make any true change in the world.

    What Simple Living Global is presenting is not new or complicated. It is common sense. Check it out.

  24. If our world could let go of the concept that we know better what other people need, or that we can control what other people say, it would totally relieve all the tension in the world. Probably there would be no more wars.

    Yes, it is important to question what other people are doing or saying, but we need to be open to another way of looking at things. Honoring the fact that everyone we meet has something to teach us.

    When we have pictures of how things should be it just sets us up to suffer, and miss the opportunities life is presenting to us all the time.

  25. We could call this a co-incidence but as this happens more often I am certain there is more to this number numerology stuff.
    Without clocking it at the time, my husband clears out under the kitchen sink unit. Stuff going – letting go and a clean and tidy up. This constant reviewing and refining is normal in our life and we love it. Bit like letting go of heavy baggage and having a freedom of movement as you no longer have it to weigh you down.

    Same day a bit later, I just had to get on that phone of mine and let go, let go of photos and I stopped at 198. That is huge in itself and speaks volumes considering how long I did have them hanging around. I asked what’s the purpose and was there a point and it just got simple and easy to discern what was needed and what was not. There was no dilly dallying and the ‘just incase syndrome’ was not even close to the radar.

    Amazing if you ask me and then the penny dropped.
    It was 27th yesterday and as this blog talks about the number 9 what I got was ‘AH that’s why this letting go was so easy and effortless’.

    Call me nuts or way off or out there with the fairies – I don’t think so.

    There is most certainly something in the science of numerology but I reckon very few would even contemplate it right now as it does bring in that word, which runs through the heart of this website called RESPONSIBILITY.

  26. I was walking with my 2 year old grandson or following is more accurate, and he wandered up a hill that had a steep bank on the other side. I did not get there fast enough and and he started down the bank by himself (no fear). He fell and tumbled down the bank. I reached him and he was crying but l realized he was physical un- hurt.

    I looked at the bank he fell down and was amazed how he did not hurt himself. There were sharp rocks and debris everywhere. How did he manage to avoid all the rocks?

    Children seem to have natural protection that allows them to experience things without really hurting themselves. How do they do that?

    If we can live without fear there is a level of intelligence that can keep us connected to the world. Allowing us to flow with things rather then fight life.

    In my life l have learned when I fall, (l love to ski, skate, play sports etc.) if l am tense l am more likely to hurt myself. But if I let go and relax (not fight it) it is not a big deal. Just a learning.

    So let go, do not be afraid of falling. Falling is how we truly learn about life.
    This is all about living your life around love rather then fear. It allows you to truly experience all the amazingness of being human!

  27. Recently I have been looking at things I am still holding on to. In particular my cupboards.

    Why have I got stuff that I don’t use anymore? What purpose does it serve? Well nothing!

    What I have noticed by Letting Go of stuff my body Feels so much lighter and things Feel alot Clearer.

  28. I know in the past that holding on for me was a bit like a comfort blanket for me – it was familiar and easy to be around.

    However over the years I started to realise that holding on to stuff was making me sick and I could not move forward with anything.
    Spending my days getting angry at things or people if things were going wrong.

    Letting go gives us the space to just be ourselves and discarding the nonsense that is not us.

    I love this blog.

  29. Thank you for this absolutely super blog.

    I like to let stuff go – whether it’s clutter, clothes that no longer fit, or beliefs and concepts that do not serve me.

    There is so much more that I could let go of in my life but I have realised that the more attached I am to something, the harder it is for me to release.

    I have noticed something about letting go. Each time I let go of something physical or a mental attachment, I feel lighter and a sense of increased space. I feel more spacious and lighter inside. With these feelings of lightness and space, sometimes I can also feel joy bubble up from within me.

    What’s great is the more spacious inside and light I feel, the more I feel like I’m being the real me.

    It’s so fascinating to me that the more I let go of what is not needed in my life, the more like the real me I feel – light, spacious inside and full of joy.

  30. Reflecting on another great year of letting go, I realise how far I have come in the Letting Go department and there is always more, as I review and refine things that are no longer needed or do not serve me in my life.

    Last week, I increased my focus and made a commitment to clear out more ‘stuff’ and deep clean of course. I was fully aware it was coming up to the end of the year and I know doing this regular discarding of what no longer has purpose, makes sense.

    What I always find is how this creates space and the quality of this space feels light.

    I no longer have a need to fill up that new space with things, so the space supports me as I feel more settled inside my body, like there is no tension feeling.

    Whilst letting go of some things, I think back to when I bought it and why and what was going on in my life at the time and why I still have it. All of this for me is part of the process. What I find in the end is how much I no longer want to live with things and how little I actually need and how content that makes me feel.

    I have very few clothes now and it somehow feels enough. There is no intention of ever buying another wardrobe or chest of drawers, but what I am finding is having less gives a lot of space and it feels true.

    This applies to other areas of the house too. The less is more works and not having a desire to replace things as I let go is key for me going forward. This continual reviewing and refining is needed, if we want to keep expanding and evolving and I am living proof of that.

  31. I am really enjoying letting go of things that I do not need.

    I don’t have loads of things, but what I am finding is that it is good for me to review even the smallest of items to see if it is needed. If I am honest with myself, I know what items need to go and which ones need to stay and so approaching it with this level of honestly I am finding it easy to let go. I love the feeling of space it gives me in my home.

    I am noticing that my flatmate has caught onto this too and is continually clearing things out.

    However, one area that requires more attention are my emails.

    I was reading an article by Dr. Max in the Daily Mail dated 30th December 2017, where he talks about letting go of and deleting emails.

    On Friday at work I deleted at least 150 emails and this has created not just more space in my inbox but a clarity in my work life, so I can see clearly what needs to be addressed.

    Dr. Max has some very good suggestions that can help us to keep the numbers down low in our inbox like –

    Not holding emails in our inbox, but either actioning them, filing them or deleting them.

    Adding a reminder every 3 months, to check those filed emails to see if they are still needed.

    Unsubscribing from general emails we receive from companies, even those we order with (I had already started to do this one).

    Writing people’s contact details in an address book or placing important event dates from an email onto a calander.

    What I like about some of his suggestions are that they are a very practical ways to deal with emails that can help us to be more organised as so many of us get stressed about them, when we can do something about it.

    Dr Max gives the analogy of having paper in a tray and when we come into work each day we see that there are a few items in there. Then throughout the day people stop by and add more items into our tray.

    What happens when we pick items up, read them and then put them back into the same tray without actioning them (which is what we do with emails)?

    We create a mess. This makes a lot of sense to me and is something I will most definitely remember.

  32. One of the biggest challenges for me 8 years ago was letting go. I spent so many years with pent up anger I was literally in my own world. Nothing mattered other than me holding on to my hurts. And yes it did have a knock affect on my body. If anyone pointed out my anger issue, I would tell them it was not me who had the problem. In other words I took no Responsibility for my behaviour.

    With the support from the author of this blog I was able to start to let go slowly my anger and hurts. I realise now I just simply was not taking care of myself. I definitely still am a work in progress but what I do know if I read this blog years ago I would not have held onto the things I did.

  33. A very long time ago, I made the choice to buy decent hangers that were strong, going to last for the long term and not be anything fancy.
    We had to expand and this was a process over some time. So there are 3 colours for our wooden hangers.

    So what has this got to do with a Letting Go blog?

    The amount we bought does not change so that means when something needs a hanger then something has to go. This means the space in the wardrobe closets is the same or in our case we let go of more than we buy now so it’s go quite a few spare hangers.

    I have lost count how many wardrobes I have seen where clothes are outdated and have no order and are just shoved in hotchpotch on any old hanger and the door shut.

    I have also seen the opposite with the walk in closets and rails upon rails of hangers and they must have a maid keeping it all in that order.

    Is there something in that 20 80 saying – We wear 20% of our clothes, 80% of the time?

    Whether there is some truth in that or not, buying new stuff and not letting go of anything is going to create a traffic jam in any closet. Congestion and complication if you ask me.

    Yesterday I cleared out even more of what is not needed in our wardrobes and later in the evening when I went into the room, I could honestly say there was a lightness I felt that is not easy to express with words.

    I am certain having clean and clear wardrobe spaces, with items that have purpose and are used and not just hoarded, is the way to go.

    It gives us a quality in our home that speaks volumes.

  34. Experiencing this weekend how we don’t like to let go.

    A house we were viewing was thick with this feeling.

    There was so much ‘stuff’ everywhere. Very orderly, expensive ‘stuff’, but loads of it.

    And talking to the owner you could feel the holding on. Every part of the house had emotion in it, tied to memories of when this or that dramatic thing happened and where money was spent on things.

    It was fascinating to get an insight into what is probably happening in most of our homes, to a greater or lesser degree.

    Where are we setting down emotions in this corner or that, attaching to our possessions or experiences?

    Where are we holding on to stuff we don’t need but think looks good or reminds us of something we could actually let go of?

    Where are we simply not paying attention as we let it build up?

    Walking back into our house after that viewing, I could feel the lightness and space. It made me appreciate the clearing out we have done and continue to do, because it makes a real difference.

    Feeling that appreciation was huge motivation to keep going – to keep our ‘stuff’ and the way we live under regular review.

    I can even feel the next clear out wont be too far away.

  35. I saw a woman breastfeeding her 2+ year old this week.

    It was a contradictory scene. The toddler could do myriad things independently – eating, talking, taking off her coat, managing her toy bag.

    And then she lifted up her mum’s shirt and started sucking on a breast.

    It looked like she was doing it out of boredom, because she could, not because she was hungry or needed the breast milk.

    It was strange to see the independence come quickly to an end like that. The child choosing to go back to baby land, just because she could.

    It made me reflect on where my kids are holding back on the next step for them. Where are they wanting to stay little and not move forward, and where am I facilitating that?

    And the same for myself. What are the things in my own life that no longer support and, in fact, that hold me back?

    What’s next to let go of in order to move on?

  36. Today I donated a personal gift to the local charity shop manager.
    She was deeply touched and blown away to say the least.

    I regularly go and donate to the shop as this letting go business is an ongoing process in my house and I love it. A deep clean and clear out at every opportunity – generally when there is a holiday period as we have extra time, like easter weekend just gone. No time wasted and much was cleared out.

    What seems to work is to feel who may benefit as everything I own holds great value and is always treated like it is sacred.

    That can be a jumper, some makeup, perfume or a saucepan.

    Such care and love is given to any item I own and I know when I pass it on, it is not ready for the trash heap.

    This lady received my handbag because I no longer need a large bag for work.
    I will never forget her face and her deep Appreciation of this gift.

    Very often we think that when we discard something it is just to get rid of it and that is the end.

    What if we took the time to feel if there was anyone that may benefit and have use for something that we are choosing to let go of?

    There is EQUAL JOY in letting go of what is no longer needed and giving it to someone who is deserving of it.

    NEXT – I have a large bag of decent pans and utensils and a friend is looking forward to the delivery this weekend. We realised we simply do not need lots of anything anymore.

    This SIMPLE LIVING is amazing and bringing life BACK TO BASICS seems to be working, as I for sure am living that way now and I feel deeply content.

  37. Great question, Simple Living Global –

    ‘Could it be possible that when our internal system is not letting go and doing its natural job in the poo department, it may just have something to do with not LETTING GO?’ and so could it also be true to say that when we have diarrhoea that this is our body’s way of letting us know that it is clearing and letting of something and that it might not just be food.

    As we change our external environment and clear things from it that do not belong whether that be relationships, work, our home, even paperwork does our body reflect the changes by letting go too?

    I know that when I experience this I am left with feeling that I have much more space in my body, that I can breathe and I don’t feel as dense.

  38. Today essential client databases that we use at work were not working for at least an hour. However I was able to use the time productively as I used that space to delete old emails and respond to some. I was amazed at the number of emails I had deleted by the end of it and I really enjoyed the process.

    I always feel lighter after I have chosen to let go of something and this includes emails.

    Is it possible that we do not see this letting go process in all areas of our life as important and this can contribute to the weighed down feeling that many of us have?

    Could it be possible that as long as we are holding onto stuff and that includes physical items, we cannot grow and evolve and so we become stuck and are unable to move on in our lives?

  39. I learned today that if I am in judgement of someone or something it is hard to let go. I create this brick wall between myself and what is going on. I then keep the situation as far away as possible from me. Imagine all that effort for what.

    Why do we find it so easy to judge but not to let go. It has got me thinking about the stuff I still hold onto and why.

  40. Thank you for this marvellous blog on the power of letting go.

    I have let go of enough in my life to know the value and benefit there is in letting go of things.

    And this includes both letting of material things that no longer serve me, but also harmful relationships, bad habits and beliefs, concepts and ideals that I have learnt over time to be false.

    However, as much as I value letting go, I do resist fully letting go of some things I hold in my mind. This is because of a fear I have that if I let go of those pictures of an ideal life that I have in my head, I won’t know what kind of life I will have without those pictures that I have been attached to for so long.

  41. The Guardian – 18 August 2018
    p.9

    The World Health Organization (WHO) this week classified hoarding as a medical disorder for the first time, in a move psychiatrists and those with the condition have hailed as “extremely significant”.

    According to the WHO, hoarding disorder is characterised by an “accumulation of possessions due to excessive acquisition of or difficulty discarding possessions, regardless of their actual value”.

    This article says that an estimated 5% of the UK population have hoarding disorder, though the true figure may be much higher.

    The NHS recognised the condition 5 years ago, but it remains little understood.

    Hoarding is often linked to other serious mental health issues such as childhood trauma or clinical depression.

    Hoarders can sometimes be forced to get rid of their belongings but some have been known to kill themselves as a result.

    The NHS often prescribe cognitive behavioural therapy but this rarely works.

    Is there more about this disease that we need to understand in order to provide the right treatment?

    Can anecdotal evidence point us in the right direction if we spoke with those concerned?

    One man shared how his hoarding of books stemmed from “a feeling of not knowing enough”. He shared that he would panic and say “Oh my God! I need to understand”

    This is interesting

    Are we avoiding looking at the root cause of where hoarding starts and what the beliefs are that each individual holds?

    What if any hoarding behaviour is related to us not feeling enough and so we are lead to constantly buy and accumulate stuff with the belief that the item will give us what we are seeking?

    What if it never does and as a result we have an insatiable appetite for more which never stops?

    Do we need to look at a person’s life style choices and track them from childhood to establish how this began?

    Do we need to study groups of people diagnosed with hoarding to establish whether there are any similarities with each case?

    Would this help us to understand what is really happening?

    1. What you say here in your comment Shevon are some great points to raise awareness about hoarding.

      As a serial hoarder in the past I know I can relate to why some may hold on to possessions regardless of their value.

      The books thing sticks out for me as I felt like others would see I was not dumb. I was a teenage bride in a forced marriage and had to leave school against my will.

      At school I was in the grammar stream and that was class A – so basically those seen as very academically intelligent. My english teacher put me forward for O level english examination at age 13 which was 3 years before others had to officially do the exam.

      But regardless of this confirmation, I had nothing much so to speak of and so the books started as a few and the collection was over 8 bookshelves from floor to ceiling. That meant anyone who walked into my super long living room could see nothing but books along one great long wall. Of course I never read them and to this day I cannot read books front to back cover.

      I know the hoarding was so I felt comfortable in front of others and people would not judge me for having no qualifications. Such utter nonsense but at the time a reality that was giving me so much tension and mental anguish inside my body.

      Letting go was a very slow process and it came AFTER I made the choice to look at my childhood issues and my lack of self worth. Change came when I took Responsibility for my everyday life and became consistent with things like going to bed early, going for a walk and cooking proper nourishing foods that would support me.

      That then gave me the resources, the energy so to speak to deal with the stuff I was holding on to – my deep buried hurts.

      There is so much we could learn from the wisdom of what others have lived and yet science continues to do it their way and we as a world continue to endorse and accept that unless we have research – the evidence – then we dismiss anything else.

      Anecdotal evidence needs to lead the way as all humans are a living science and we have answers to the worlds ills, including hoarding.

  42. Yesterday 27th September 2018, I let go of something – a behaviour that had to stop.

    I noticed that I was feeling disturbed and irritated and that I kept trying to meet the demands of others. I could feel that this was something that had to end, as it was no longer working for me.

    The interesting thing here was that I recognised that things could not go on as they were and that they had to change, but the fundamental factor was that I needed to change the way that I was being. Doing more to try and accommodate the demands was not working.

    So with the support of a friend, I let go and it became clear to me the next day, what I needed to stop doing.

    In less than 24 hours, I received an email with an offer of support meaning 30 – 50% of my current workload would be reduced. In the letting go, I had no attachment to the outcome, or how others would behave, but the clarity for me was simply to stop the ill behaviour.

    I have never felt so free, internally in my life. Today was so different. I moved with a grace and ease, feeling confident in the knowing that whatever I delivered for the day was enough, whether it met other people’s expectations or not.

    It is such a great feeling to have that marker in my body, of what it feels like to not be stressed or under pressure, regardless of what is going on outside of me, knowing that I do all that I can with whatever task or situation is presented to me and that is enough.

  43. Talking with colleagues today about death and dying and how we hold on to life.

    One was sharing how her aunt had put her uncle in a home after years of suffering, as she could no longer take care of him and he was deteriorating fast.

    Yet 2 years later he remains alive, limping along with no quality of life at all, not really knowing which way is up.

    She was asking why he can’t just let go.

    This, I felt, was a great question. It brings a whole new meaning to the topic of letting go.

    I am wondering if holding on to things as we move through life affects us in death.

  44. What is it about our world that is geared to holding on and not letting go.

    I have been doing my best to support my mother to let go and surrender her body so she can Passover.

    At times without even talking to someone else, the tears may just come and I give myself permission to just feel. They pass and I feel a letting go of some kind happening.

    What I find interesting is how many have tried to stop me from expressing this natural feeling of loss, grief and sadness.

    As I sit here at an airport in one of the famous coffee chains the guy collecting the cups is deaf and with sign language he is asking me to stop crying.

    The taxi driver was telling me not to cry. The relatives were saying my mum will be sad and therefore I must not cry. Anyone and everyone so far has said do not cry, stay strong – really?

    Is staying strong about not expressing a feeling that really wants to come up, be felt in full and released – in other words, let go of?

    Have we somehow got the word wrong about what strong actually is?
    Those who know me would say that by essence I am strong and steady but I am human.

    Losing a parent and in particular one we are close to, I feel is for anyone a difficult time.
    Having the world and its brothers tell you not to cry confirms that SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.

    Is it because crying would bring up for the person telling us not to cry their own unexpressed sadness or other repressed feelings?

    It is sad to see those close to me struggling with the tears and unable to naturally express what they feel.

    There is work to be done is what I get.

    For me that means continue expressing whatever it is I feel and then write.
    Writing is easy for me and what has been coming to me during this time is how our world needs more real life stuff about death and dying.

    On that note, I plan to start writing a book and using the chapters as blogs on this website.

    It is much needed and a very important topic that would be well worth reading and considering about the process of death and dying.

  45. This makes so much sense Bina. Thank you for sharing this.

    I had a similar experience recently where a family member told me to stop crying and not be sad.

    But I was sad, and there was something very true about letting the tears come.

    I feel a shift after tears – freer, like something has passed.

    What harm do we do pushing it down: keeping it locked up inside?

    I am sure what you say is true: there is fear about what will happen if we see another cry or let ourselves feel what is there inside us.

    And it is not normalised in society so we don’t know what to do with it all.

    Particularly on the subject of death and dying.

    I look forward to reading more on this website – it will be of huge benefit for all.

  46. Deeply touched by your comment shared Bina. What a blessing and a healing for humanity. You shared from what you lived, your own experience. It touched places in me not released, it will heal all who read it … and all that don’t.

    Death and dying is such a tip toed around subject yet a natural part of life as is allowing ourselves and each other to feel and express what we are feeling.

    So many times I have seen one person stop another when they are in or close to tears about something, it is such a release to allow it to just come out, it is so beneficial to our health, our sleep, how we eat and how we relate to each other.

    Very much looking forward your book…

  47. Metro – 27 February 2019

    Hoarders have £81.6 billion worth of unwanted belongings stashed away in attics and cupboards, say researchers.

    More than a third of 2,000 adults polled said they never throw away old junk but most have no idea theirs is worth an average of £1,600.

    2 in 5 keep old mobile phones and more than 25% hang on to outdated games systems.

    1 in 10 have given something away and then found out it was valuable – worth £484 on average – the study for loan agency Myjar found.

    The figures alone tell us the sheer volume that we stash away and accumulate.

    Money aside, have we really questioned why we hold onto so much and find it difficult to let go?

    Do the things we hold onto remind us of happier times for example?

    Do they help us reminisce so that we do not have to move on from where we are?

    Does this article by Simple Living Global and this one on Holding On https://simplelivingglobal.com/holding-on/ have important questions for us all to ponder on?

    Could it be possible that what is presented in these articles could support us to Let Go in all areas of our lives so that we can evolve?

  48. A few decades ago, I was running workshops on Clutter Clearing with an architect and of course there are always people seeking something like this to support them to let go.

    Who was I to run weekend workshops with no real Livingness.
    By that I mean, I had not walked the talk. I was not living in daily life what I was preaching and teaching to these audiences. It was nothing more than hot talk.

    I was big into spiritual new age nonsense and channelling. I say this because after every single workshop and presentation, I was ill or exhausted to the point I could not get out of bed and only a strong force got me to keep going. Eventually my body did collapse, 2 blood transfusions and major surgery to remove an organ.
    I knew beyond doubt I was off track and something was seriously not right in my life.

    Looking back, I was a serial shopper and no sooner did I let go, the items were replaced with similar and more of the same – totally not needed.

    It took 9 house moves to realise that the reason we had to have a huge house was because of all the stuff. One house had a triple garage with racking inside – ideal for organised hoarding, which made it look so neat and tidy but yet there were heaps and heaps of stuff that had zero purpose.

    Talking to a client recently, she mentioned how disturbed she was since starting a clutter clearing course.
    It felt like this signing up was coming from a need but not actually empowering her to get on with it. In other words, no real inspiration.
    Then the dates of the course clashed with her routine and regular things she does to support herself. Her realisation was she did not need a course but rather be inspired by those she does know who do not hold on and consistently review and refine, by letting go of stuff and ending what does not work for them.

    What is it about us that seeks others, who in truth are not really going to have a long term effect on our ingrained behaviour patterns, where we hold on to 60 pairs of shoes that we have not worn in decades?

    What will it really take for us to make small steps and start changing?

    From real life example, I knew once I had the realisation that items that no longer support me are dead weight, so to speak and it’s like my body is carrying it all around.

    So if my house was my body, it was way too burdened and drained holding on to all this stuff in cupboards, on the floor and in every room.

    I started reviewing things first and asking questions like –

    When did I buy this or who gave it to me
    What was the purpose of this thing in my life right now
    When was the last time I had any connection with it
    What meaning and value does it hold for me now
    Has the price tag got something to do with why I hold on to it decades later

    Is there a memory thing going or an emotional kind of attachment

    Do I love it, hate it or not really associate with it in anyway
    Do I think this will be handy one day and it’s been 20 years
    Do I keep it because it makes me look like I do have some contents
    Do I hold on because I would look weird if I had lots of space
    Do I like the struggle that comes with all the extra cleaning
    Do I invest in all this extra stuff because it does give me something

    There is more, so maybe a book at some point is needed on this topic but for now these are general questions that prompt an inner dialogue when things are hanging around, unused and in my face to take action.

    It would be true to say that today I have no attachment to things like I used to and the same goes for relationships.

    I feel very rich inside and yet on the outside I don’t have a heap of friends or a lot of stuff inside my home. In fact, I live very simple and practical and the big thing for me in all of this is purpose.

    If I cannot feel the purpose then what is the point really.
    This is something that I live by to the best of my ability, as it keeps me energised and I don’t feel drained.

    With this in mind, I can consistently review areas in my home that need a bit of refining, like my clothes or kitchen cupboards.

    I really don’t have much and what I value above all is the space it provides and brings me and that makes me breathe a whole lot deeper with no congestion.
    Well worth my regular reviews.

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