What does it actually mean to Let Go?
Let Go of what and WHY?
We all know that letting go means no longer holding on to something or someone.
We live in a world that is constantly moving and changing and things come and things go and yet so many of us have an issue with letting go.
What is it that we need to let go of?
What would happen if we did choose to let go?
What changes if we avoid letting go?
What are our fears about letting go?
Why is it so hard to let go?
Why is this letting go business so difficult?
Why is letting go not so easy for some of us?
Why is letting go a complicated thing at times?
WHY is letting go important for us?
Why do we go around and around when we KNOW that letting go could instantly change things for us?
Let’s look at our Concise Oxford English dictionary and what it has to say about Let Go –
Allow someone or something to go free
Relinquish one’s grip on someone or something (1)
Relinquish means – voluntarily cease to keep or claim; give up (1)
In other words –
We ALLOW for something or someone to go free and move
We choose to end our claim to someone or something
We voluntarily cease to keep someone or something
We give ourselves permission to give up someone or something
DID YOU KNOW
‘The Culture of More, More, More –
The biggest factor is simply that we live in a society where you are encouraged to think (some might say programmed) that your self-worth is tied to how much “stuff” you have. When you are told that you have more value if you have more stuff, then the instinct is to go and purchase or acquire that stuff. But what do you do with it then?
In reality, you probably don’t need very much of the same “stuff” you have acquired, so it turns into clutter. This is probably the biggest issue with why clutter is so predominant in the first world.’
‘The Consumer Media Machine –
The consumer media monster is everywhere – and it is telling you that you need to buy more, more and more.’
‘The Association between Emotion and “Stuff” –
When you assign a mental or emotional value to a thing, it makes it much harder to let go of it. This then leads to clutter.’ (6)
Could it be possible that we buy things to reward us and think it will make us ‘happy’?
The Extremes of Not Letting Go
Under the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) hoarding has been given its own classification of Hoarding disorder. (7)
‘Hoarding disorder is considered a significant problem when –
The amount of clutter interferes with everyday living – for example, the person is unable to use their kitchen or bathroom and cannot access rooms.
The clutter causes significant distress or negatively affects the person’s quality of life or their family’s. For example, they may become upset if someone tries to clear the clutter and their relationships with others suffer as a result.’ (8)
The death of someone close can lead to a worsening of hoarding behavior. (9)
Hoarding can cause a lot of damage to property, affecting walls, causing damp and condensation due to poor care e.g. lack of ventilation and depending on what is being hoarded.
Hoarding is not limited to money, books, newspapers and carrier bags but also includes poo and urine in the most extreme cases.
This can result in thousands of pounds of repairs for landlords, with £20,000 quoted in one case recently discussed with me by a housing officer in London.
I was also told about a case where social care staff standing outside a hoarded property being cleared, flared up in allergies.
A study in 2012 in New York found that 22% of people threatened with eviction and seeking intervention had a hoarding problem. This condition has been linked with homelessness. (10)
The above is telling us that this holding on stuff is a big problem and it is not going away.
So how does this go on in real life every day and how does it affect us?
If we start with honesty – could we list things that we hold on to?
Anyone or anything that we know is not truly supporting us in our life?
Could we start with the ‘stuff’ we have in our room, apartment, house or garage?
Could we go deeper and admit some of our relationships are not helping us?
Could we get really honest and say we are not sure why we cannot let go of harmful relationships?
What about our deep buried hurts?
Have we ever stopped and asked where did all those hurts from our painfull past go?
Have we ever wondered what happens to us because we never let go of our deep hurts?
Have we ever asked could our body be holding onto some of this ‘stuff’ that is buried?
Is there a direct correlation with having a weight issue and holding on to our emotional stuff, our past hurts and our clutter?
According to studies by the National Institute of Health there is a connection between overeating and hoarding.
In a 2011 publication of the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, Timpano et al discovered that a genetic variation in a gene sequence led to a brain disorder responsible for hoarding and overeating in both human and non-human animals.
BDNF (Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor) protein “disorder” leads to changes in the central nervous system and is linked with:
- Memory impairment
- Greater avoidance of things that seem unpleasant, like cleaning or limiting food intake
- Greater anxiety at having to throw away something that has great meaning or fearing that if it is thrown away, it will be needed and you don’t have it
- Aggression, often directed at oneself or at others who are critical of the way you live
- Obesity (11)
It makes sense that when we eat too much, we are hoarding food inside our body.
‘Research in children found that loss of control over food intake (overeating) was linked with difficulties in regulating emotions as well.’ (11)
Could it be possible that constipation is a sign that we are holding on to emotions?
Could it be possible that when our internal system is not letting go and doing its natural job in the poo department, it may just have something to do with not LETTING GO?
Could it be possible that there is tension in our body because we are not letting go of things that have come to a natural end?
Could it be possible that not letting go creates anxiousness?
Could it be possible that our bloated big belly has something to do with holding on?
Could it be possible that we can see a pattern in our behaviour when it comes to letting go?
Could it be possible that we are only willing to let go of certain things?
Could it be possible that we know what is right but we are frightened of taking the next step?
Could it be possible that we are invested in all these images we have in our mind, about how life should be and letting go would mean a scary future?
Could it be possible that we want to have a guarantee that our future is certain and so we choose not to let go?
Could it be possible that by not letting go of things that hurt us in life, we stay stuck on some level and don’t really move on?
Could it be possible that letting go and moving on is actually a natural way of living?
Could it be possible that letting go supports our Evolution?
Could it be possible that we think we don’t know how to Let Go?
Could it be possible that we feel it is too hard to Let Go?
What if our patterns of holding on can become entrenched and hurt us?
What if holding on becomes destructive to our health and well-being?
What if holding on guarantees no change?
What if holding on keeps us feeling stuck?
What if we know that holding on can become our foundation?
What if we are aware on some level that this holding on stuff is not serving us?
What if we truly let go, what would happen to our –
True health and well-being?
What if this holding on is just a delay button we keep pressing to stop us moving on?
As the author of this blog, I can say that I was stuck in my ways and holding on was just how I lived and at no point did I question WHY. Letting go was not on my radar.
2005 – Enter Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and I got some answers to this big fat problem.
- Addiction to shopping and hoarding and super ‘organised clutter’
- Big fat houses to hide the clutter and look like there was plenty of space
- Consistently bloated and weight issue
- Loved comfort foods
- Deep buried emotional hurts and no intention to deal with them
- Buying stuff and in denial about what was coming up
- Letting go of things and then instantly replace them with something else
- Feeling protected in some way by having ‘things’ that held no meaning or purpose
In brief, I was going around and around and arriving at the same point and truly letting go of anything was not happening.
I came to understand that our life and everything in our world is about cycles. There is not really a beginning or an end even though it was convenient to think like that.
So I started to apply what I had learned about numbers simply because it made some sense.
So number 1 was a new beginning.
Number 9 was the end of the cycle.
10 would be a number 1 again, so back to the new beginning.
Put that into everyday practical Simple Living and things started to change in a way that I could not even dream was possible.
I reckon God put me on this earth this time round to get on with this number 9.
I knew that this letting go business was not an overnight action programme but a lifelong process of me discarding anything and EVERYTHING that no longer serves me, so I could get on with LIVING life and not just existing in my complicated old way of being.
So on every day of the month that has the number nine – 9th 18th 27th – I have a plan.
It is a date in the calendar that I take note of and use as an opportunity to review my life and this goes on even now.
The following list is some old stuff and the rest is an ongoing reminder to keep refining anything that is not Truth.
LET GO of anything that no longer serves me
LET GO of anything that no longer supports me
LET GO of anything that does not feel true
LET GO of anything that is complicated
LET GO of anything that is in the way of my evolution
LET GO of anything that I can feel is harmfull
LET GO of my own demands on how I should think and act in this world
LET GO of behaviours that were hurting my body
LET GO of all the pictures in my head of how life should be
LET GO of ideals about life that have been fed to me
LET GO of beliefs that were never true and yet I followed them
LET GO of constantly comparing myself to others
LET GO of following others who looked like they had better lives
LET GO of living in big fat houses used simply to hoard stuff
LET GO of all the diets that never worked
LET GO of Champagne Lifestyle with Lemonade Money
LET GO of living in ga-ga land aka airy-fairy world
LET GO of clothes and shoes that are not me now
LET GO of writing 300 christmas cards
LET GO of the need for recognition in what I do
LET GO of any disregarding and abusive way of living
LET GO of emails and end the ‘just in case syndrome’
LET GO and ask WHY you want that which you know is hurting you
LET GO and put an end to that which does not belong
This included nicey nice and painfull relationships
This included deep hurts
This included trying to be someone I was not
This included excess weight loss
This included plastic cards shopping trips
This included washing detergent to keep a family going for 10 years
This included a triple garage with stuff that was never looked at
This included empty boxes that filled up a whole loft
This included bags, any bags just incase
This included spiritual new age books
This included over 500 CD’s
This included leaving university which was only to please my dad
This included kitchen appliances that lived in boxes, never used
This included bank statements since the year dot
This included food that was slowly killing me
This included monthly subscription to the wine club
This included monthly delivery from the chocolate club
This included internet shopping on auto pilot mode
This included the mega channel TV contract
And so it goes on and on …
What are the benefits if ALL this stuff goes?
Life is super simple
Living life by understanding cycles
Feeling content about Back to Basics stuff
Nothing is a big deal
Equipped to deal with any issue that life presents
Super small organised home with space
Clean and clear office with order
No more playing the Blame game
There is space to truly breathe
No more garage or spare room with clutter
House can breathe as no longer holding onto stuff
NO MORE ABUSE
No more desire to shop, shop and shop
No more acid reflux with bad food habits
No need to drink alcohol to take the edge off life
No more addiction to colonics
No more bread belly
No more Cold Hands and Cold Feet
No more coughs and colds
No more tight chest
No more hardness in the body
No more tension or pressure in the head department
Shoulders are not heavy with burden
Poo department all ok – thank you very much
Cupboards and drawers say thank you as they are constantly reviewed
Emails are going and not sitting around
Space to write blogs like this consistently
Always have time to get out in the community and engage with others
More awareness of what is actually going on in the world
Opportunity to set a new way of living
A great night’s sleep everyday
No more popping pills for this and that
Consistently feeling the joy of knowing I am not hurting myself or others
Aware that life is most certainly not about holding on but letting go consistently of anything and everything that no longer supports our evolution.
By the way in case you haven’t noticed we are in month 9
Add up our year and it comes to 9
So WHAT IF we spent a bit more time in September letting go and ending cycles before another new beginning – month 10.
We could of course say this number thing is a load of twaddle but having LIVED with numbers for a long time now, I feel there is something in it.
Reading the newspaper on the train I read this –
“There is something psychological about September …
Whilst we may not make resolutions in the same way we do at new year, we may still resolve to change a situation that has been making us unhappy for some time”. – Elaine Taylor, Relate, Cambridge Office (12)
Could it be possible the ending cycles in month 9 is what this lady is saying?
Could it be possible that this numerology stuff is teaching us something, if we stay open?
Could it be possible that living our life in cycles is actually our natural way of living?
Could it be possible that numbers were around way before words and so going Back to Basics, how life used to be lived, may just hold some answers for us?
Could it be that simple?
I am no medical expert, science lab lady or any other professional academic telling you all what to do based on my knowledge and research.
What I claim is that I have a PhD (if there was ever one) in common sense.
NEXT – LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE
WHAT IF if we all started doing our bit by LETTING GO of what we know and can feel is not deeply and truly supporting us in our life.
What effect would this have on our own health and well-being?
What effect would this have on our family and friends?
What effect would this have in the work we do?
What effect would this have if we are studying?
What effect would this have for our community?
What effect would this have at the local re-cycle place?
What effect would this have on the landfill sites?
What effect would this have on our waste industry?
What effect would this have on the Goodwill Charity shops?
What effect would this have on Mother Earth?
What effect would this have on society?
Less stress on landfill
Mother Earth not congested
Marine Life can breathe again
Less tension as no more credit card bills
Real respect for our body and our environment
The End to all Abuse
NO MORE dreading the future
Is this possible?
Does this make any sense?
Could it be that simple?
Are we open and willing to at least consider what this blog is presenting?
(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011
(2) (2016, April 12). Brits Keep £15bn of Goods in Garden Sheds. RAC
(3) Yearsley, W. (2014, April 14). Self-Storage: The Men Who Got Rich Selling Empty Space
(4) (2016). The Big Firms. Storage.co.uk.
(5) Matoorah, G. (n.d). Revealed – Why Self-Storage is Now Big Business in the UK
(6) (2015, January 19). Is Clutter a First World Problem? Postconsumers.com
(7) (2013). Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders. American Psychiatric Association
(8) (2015, June 19). Hoarding Disorder. NHS
(9) (2009). Hoarding Fact Sheet. International OCD Foundation
(10) Solovitch, S. (2016, April 11). Hoarding is a Serious Disorder – and it’s only Getting Worse in the U.S. The Washington Post
(11) (2016, January 23). New Research Shows Link Between Obesity and Hoarding. HealDove
(12) Binns, D. (2016, August 30). The Summer Holidays Are Over, so Let’s Get Divorced. Metro