Gossip, Judgement & Cursing


  • What is gossip?
  • Why do we do it?
  • What does it give us?
  • Who benefits?
  • Would we like it done to us?
  • What does it do to our body?
  • Why do we read celebrity gossip news and magazines?

How would we feel knowing others are gossiping about us?

I grew up in an Indian family and it was very normal for my parents to take us at any opportunity to the rellies (relatives) and they would spend time just gossiping. This was mainly what Indian women do and the men would drink alcohol. I do not recall it ever changing and it is the same today in my experience.

I hated gossip and all that judgement so I opted to stay at home as often as I could as a child because for me it was too boring. If the rellies were visiting our home, I would walk out of the room but as I grew older, I found myself getting involved and joining in the gossip, knowing how wrong it all felt inside me.

Whilst I got better and was not gossiping non-stop, it was still there until I got an understanding that it harms me and others and it keeps me stuck. I can honestly say that today I make the choice not to engage in this gossip stuff and I am not willing to partake in idle chit chat that I know is harmfull.


  • Why do we judge ourselves?
  • Why do we feel to judge others?
  • What gives us the right to judge those we do not know?
  • Why do we need to keep judging anything and everything?
  • What would our life be like if we stopped the judgement?
  • How does our body feel when we judge it constantly?
  • Could it be possible that another person can feel if we are judging them?
  • Could it be possible that judgment of any kind is hurting us?
  • Could it be possible that when we are in judgment, we are not ‘forming sensible opinions’ as the dictionary says?

Let’s get real – who doesn’t judge these days?

I am no halo head and not claiming to be non-judgemental but it sure is ‘work in progress’ and I have come a long way. What has helped me to not judge another is to have understanding.

Having a chat with myself and saying –

  • You do not know what their current choices are.
  • You do not know what they truly feel in each moment.
  • You are not with them 24/7.
  • You do not know what they have been through in this life.
  • You do not know their past lives.
  • You do not know what their choices have been to lead them to this point so shut up and Stop Judging.

What I can claim is I have hundreds of testimonials and this includes prisoners and a general theme throughout is that I do not judge. I know I have a true compassion for others and with understanding I remind myself to say –

“Live and Let Live. Allow another to be in their choices. Accept another in their choices, in the knowing that one day they too will return to who they truly are.”

This helps me to stay focused and on track with what I need to be doing and not getting into any form of judgement. What I realise is Living in this way to the best of my ability, others can feel this and it makes them feel safe around you.


  • Just the word itself feels like a missile coming at you?
  • Where did this all start?
  • Why do we curse others?
  • Is venting our anger on another cursing?
  • Do we curse things and not just people?
  • Is cursing confirming our lack of responsibility?
  • Are we choosing to not take responsibility and deal with our stuff and so it all gets thrown out at the first thing or first person in the firing line that day?
  • Many of us have grown up with cursing and imagine what it does to our heart?
  • Imagine a young child being hurled abuse in the form of angry words?
  • Imagine how our body reacts to this type of abuse?
  • Imagine how hard and protected we get to not feel this cursing stuff?

Imagine if we all stopped cursing each other and made a choice to take Responsibility and deal with our ‘anger and annoyances’, which is what the dictionary tells us cursing is.

Imagine expressing without the hurt, which has made us angry and annoyed in the first place?

Cursing is poison in our body and it really has to Stop. Cursing another is attacking our own body and deeply harmfull. For this reason alone, I do my best to not allow ugly thoughts in and if it does enter my head, I say ‘get out’ because I know it is not a true thought.

This and all the other understandings I have today come from the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.





Comments 34

  1. A very practical blog – thank you Bina. You share some great examples of how our behaviour, words and thoughts harm ourselves and others. I really resonate with what you say about gossiping about others keeps us stuck; this makes sense. If we keep doing what we’ve always done there’s no room for change. I know that when people have not judged me it has given me the space to not judge myself and see what I need to see so that I can grow and make changes. Judgement of others (and ourselves) incarcerates us.

    1. Thanks Shevon Simon – yes this is a very practical blog and lets hope those reading this in time realise it is deeply harmful to vent our stuff on another or make the choice to gossip.
      I am not perfect but I have made the choice to look at how my thoughts are and I make a conscious choice to not sit and gossip. I have heaps of time now and my head feels clear.
      I agree with your bit about having space if you can feel another is not judging you. My tip that I am currently ‘work in progress’ on is to see and feel the essence of the person in front of me or opposite me on the train and then see the nonsense which is the that is judged. In Truth they are pure and whole but the outer stuff is what we judge. Just having this simple understanding and take on judgement has helped me.
      I say ‘work in progress’ as I reckon it will take a lifetime to be totally free of all judgments. I am not perfect or making any claims in this blog, just saying that there is another way.

  2. Bina I also grew up around this also and my 80 year old mum continues to gossip. To spice it up further Indian soaps, movies etc promote such dramas and gossiping and it’s amusing to see my parents getting excited when they are glued to the TV. I’ve given up in making her understand that it isn’t good to gossip, I just let her continue and I don’t allow myself to get caught up in the gossiping or react to it.

  3. Like the pun Shushila ‘spice it up further’ with Indian soaps which thrive on gossip and it feels like a stimulation. We call it entertainment but how deeply harmfull is it watching others gossip and create drama from everyday life onto our TV screen in our home. We then somehow think its endorsed and gives us a licence to continue to let loose with our tongues.
    We cannot make another understand as you mention in the case of your mother. What we can do is stay committed to the way we are living and by reflection they can and will feel it. They may never change but at least you know you offered them another way without any reaction or judgement. What I have noticed is having given up swearing from being a serial swearer my body feels less hard and I don’t have the need to vent anything on another or stomp around. It simply is not there. I deal with things as they come up and there is no place in my life for this gossip, swearing and cursing business. Thank God those days have gone thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  4. How could I possible know what some else needs! I need to focus on my own stuff and what I need! Thank you Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and Bina Pattel for supporting me in asking for the truth.

    1. Yes I hear you Ken and agree we all need to simply focus on our own stuff. You are right how could you possible know in Truth what they need. We all come in equipped and we have all the answers inside us.
      This gossip and cursing stuff really is poison in our body. The whole world and its brothers are into judging in one way or another. I too have to catch myself and stop the ugly thoughts as they pass through my head. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who has brought this stuff up in our face to look at and if we bothered to study him in full we would know he has no judgement whatsoever and thats going to take you and me and the world a bit of time to get to. Lets start now I say and stop the poison.

  5. I have been working on eradicating these behaviours from my life for awhile now. Like you I’m not interested in gossiping or even chit chat. In the workplace I am currently in, we stamp out gossip very quickly as it can cause so much harm to the team. I’m a work in progress re judgement, the questions you suggest as a form of self talk and support to cut the judgement I found really helpful and I will be using them myself when I feel I go into being judgemental of another.

    1. Great that you found this blog of some support regarding the practical self talk when you go into judgement. All I can say is that it has been tried and tested and always works. I know for a fact I will continue to be a ‘work in progress’ but the blessing is I am willing to keep addressing this and remain open to all of humanity. Judging is really awful and I recall a long time ago my judgements on this super wealthy man who was full of arrogance but at the same time I thought he was like a little boy. It just so happened we had a chat that was deeply honest during a course and when I got the full story it was that day I realised – Stop judging as now you know exactly what this boy has been through and why he behaves the way he does.
      When we stop and feel that each of us has a story it sure makes it easy to remove judgement and then all that is left is to keep practicing it day in and day out with every single person we meet, relate to or just observe.

  6. Gossip for me is the stuff we do in society to ignore what is really going on within our intimate family groups, our workplaces and our lives in general. It is essentially easier to gossip about another over stopping and taking stock and actually being deeply honest about what is happening – and stating it clearly.

    Gossip is like sticky string, it wraps around us and envelops everyone involved and in order to keep it going you have to produce more and more.

    Gossip has an effect on all personal relationships – we become guarded and wary when we have felt gossip about ourselves and when we are involved we get heightened and excited – its almost like there isn’t enough gossip to fill us up.
    Gossip is harming and dangerous – for there is rarely any honesty in gossip – let alone truth.

    1. I would say there is never any honesty in gossip. It is a waste of time and space and certainly does not offer any evolution. What is the point of stimulating ourselves by ill talking about another that we KNOW we would not like if it was done to us. I say stimulating because that is what gossip is doing to our body. It buzzes us and we get going and cant stop. I used to repeat things and twist and turn things all to suit my way of thinking and then seek out those who I knew would agree with me. How sick is that?
      Thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I got a deeper understanding of what that was doing to my body and that is why I now know the harm and hence this stupendous blog for humanity.

  7. Judgement has been a constant in my life – it is like it has been a constant protection against others judging me. Like the first thing to go up is this judgement of another that supposedly prevent them from having a judgement of me – they will I am sure – but it will in my mind have dealt with a situation. This will happen in an absolute flash! Trained and honed over many, many years if not lives. What occurred to me reading this blog is that there is no let up of this – it is constant.
    Imagine not judging? Imagine how much energy we would save and be able to let out into the world?
    I have gotten more aware over the past years but have not succeeded in beating this judgement thing completely. I like you am a work in progress. And considering more deeply how this affects everyone in my life – those I know and don’t know but just interact with, there is a purpose to this. Stop harming others.

    1. Thank you Lee for your take on this which is valuable. Like you I am more aware and a work in progress because judgement is a big one for most of us. I agree with you that it does affect everyone in our life and it is time we stopped harming others.
      Without trying to be perfect but remaining human, my job for the rest of this life is to be aware of my thoughts and when I judge. These days I tend to say ‘get out’ when I feel a thought enter that I KNOW is not me. I say ‘not me’ as how can it be when I know the real me would never judge.
      The other thing that has really helped is accepting me for who I am and this has allowed me to drop more of my self judgements and bingo it then supports me to not judge others. Yes a forever student, learning and well on my way, hence the sharing in this blog that has a purpose, just like this whole website.

  8. You make some great points here Michael expanding on the blog itself. I am not claiming that I am free of all judgements but what I know is that I have a RESPONSIBILITY to choose what thoughts I want to take on and I now find myself doing a bit of self talk and saying ‘get out’ the second I catch myself judging. Not easy and work in progress but well on my way. The good news is at least I am willing to be more aware.
    The thing is what has helped is learning to stop judging myself for what I do and not do.

    I love what you say Michael about how this blog is a great reminder of the incredible power we have that could help us and others to evolve. What a waste of time and space to indulge in gossip or judgement. It has zero purpose and if you ask me it makes us dense and so it retards our evolution. So what is the point?

    A classic example recently was some minor gossip with family members and I just continued walking and I noticed my movement changed everything. They got that it was not worth saying anymore as I was not interested so game over, they stopped too.

  9. Gossiping definitely stimulates our bodies. I know for a fact when I have done this there is an excited feeling, but what also comes with that is a feeling of being better than another. My experience is that we gossip because there is something about ourselves and our lives that we are not satisfied with so it’s easier to focus on someone else’s life, rather than look at what we need to address or be honest about our real feelings. Like Shusila’s comment gossiping is the same as watching a TV drama.

    1. I agree with you Shevon what you are saying here. My understanding is also that when we gossip there is some level of comparison going on and that is because we do not want to stop and admit, let alone accept that we are not choosing to focus on our own life and this stops us from truly evolving. No way as the blog writer here am I claiming to be perfect as this is not the case but presenting another way that really offers a sense of freedom and a real focus on what is true and what makes a difference if applied to the best of our ability.

  10. Gossip and cursing are two of our human traits that we can easily control. We just have to make a choice not to do it. Although with judgment, we still have that choice, it is a lot harder to exercise. Most of us make judgments every second of the day and for the most part we are not even aware we are doing it. We see someone walking down the street and straight away we have clocked everything about them and then we start to make judgments on them. We judge wether they are fat, slim or skinny. We judge the clothes they wear, the shoes they have got on. We judge their hair, their facial features, their make up. We judge wether they look rich or poor, wether they look sad or happy—and the list goes on. As you say Bina, having an understanding that we know nothing about their lives and what has brought them to be where they are in their lives, gives us the opportunity to not make snap judgments on them and this will then enable us to see them for who they truly are.

    1. You make some great points here Tim and very important too. Yes we can choose to not gossip or curse another. But for most of us judgement seems to be a lot more harder and as you say most of us are not even aware of how often we do it or that we are actually judging almost every second of the waking day.
      Having an understanding is super important if we are to even begin to knock out this judgment stuff. Most of us are no where near judgement free and it will require us to commit to developing a true relationship with ourself first and foremost that is not in any form of comparison. That in itself could take a lifetime if you ask me.
      Think about it if we are constantly comparing and judging ourself then of course we will cast out judgement to another, even if it something crazy like their hair colour.

  11. What I know for sure is that when I’m judging others it comes from how I am judging myself – a quiet undermining voice inside that ultimately comes out also in judgement of others. But since I have noticed this and watched myself with it and brought in more appreciation for myself, slowly, slowly I can see it lessening. The understanding is more readily available to me with others and I know that comes from softening how I am with myself. These blogs seem to keep coming back to ‘start in the mirror’ and giving lots of practical tips on how to do that. Thank you.

    1. Yes JS these blogs do keep coming back to the mirror and saying take RESPONSIBILITY for all your choices and there are plenty of practical ways to do that.
      As we all well know – true actions speak louder than words.
      No point banging on to others about this and that if how you live consistently is way off from what you are saying. People respect those who simply get on with life and inspire by the way they live. There is a quality to be appreciated when we live in a way that does not harm self or others. Of course this is not about perfect in any way but it does say put the judgment stick down and stop digging at yourself and chances are you may just develop more awareness and understanding about others on the way.

  12. “Imagine a young child being hurled abuse in the form of angry words?
    Imagine how our body reacts to this type of abuse?
    Imagine how hard and protected we get to not feel this cursing stuff?”
    Re-reading this blog, these words jump out and they are seriously confronting. Hands up who hasn’t been shouted at as a child?! What a huge realisation of the impact it has. And if we know (which we totally all do) the affect it has on children, then we also know the affect is exactly the same for adults, it’s just that adults have better techniques for not feeling it. My son told me last night he was cross about something and I felt he was blaming me and didn’t listen to him properly because I was indignant. The truth is he would have felt every bit of that emotion in me. There is so much more here to see and address. Thank you to this blog for the constant call back to responsibility and the reminder that it’s just a choice every time.

  13. Thank you JS for confirming this blog is a call saying it comes down to choice and taking RESPONSIBILITY.
    On another note, I was with a family at a restaurant recently and the father was shouting and cursing his young son who instantly hardened his body and started to eat faster. I noticed he was shoving food down like he was so hungry and ate heaps. I was sitting next to him and because he trusts me as someone who is wise and would never hurt him, I suggested he simply slowed down his eating and ask what is making him eat so much so quickly.
    Instantly there was a change and he realised he had dis-connected from his body and was mindlessly eating and not even thinking about it. No surprise he felt full up.
    The fact he did not feel judged actually supported him and more of us need to be reminded that we have a responsibility in all that we think say and do. This is not about being perfect but it is about being real and honest to the best of our ability.

    1. What a great real life example of this blog in action and the affect of abuse on how we live (and eat). Amazing that child got to be presented with a stop moment and an opportunity to be free from the reaction.

      I am realising how much there is to this judgement aspect. Just yesterday in a team meeting at work, someone was reporting on what someone else had done that day. The person being reported on is well known for undermining, judging and control. The conversation took on a tone of exasperation, reaction at the person and every one of us went into judgement. We were so ready to hold that person in their patterns and in the past (a choice not to let go of old hurtful experiences?) and we laced the ‘what’s next’ with that. The person wasn’t even in the room.

      Eventually, I clocked what I was letting play out and cut it with a call to understanding, but not before harm was done. Every person in that room felt the judgement of the others, which confirms in us all the potential to be on the receiving end of judgement ourselves. Allowing it also normalises ‘standing in judgement’ behaviour, which would continue outside of that room, in the future. This keeps us all down.

      What right do we have to stand in judgement anyway? We have no idea where that person was coming from that day and we haven’t walked in their shoes.

      The judgement did then get called out in the room, which is great, but it was a big lesson for me in compassion and the responsibility to feel what’s going on and respond to it instead of letting reaction and judgement come in.

      It also reminded me about group dynamics and that it only takes 1 person to say no to lift the whole group. In my experience, the reverse is also true.

  14. Like you, I grew up around gossip, who needs magazines when we can gossip. It was all around me, family, work, gym, friends etc.

    It was only yesterday I questioned as to why we do so much of this, I see its prevalence in the in-law families. Why aren’t we accepting of each other? Why are we finding faults first before we even consider they may have something unique to offer but blind to our ways and unopen to anything new.

    I’m learning to break this practice and the more I bring my awareness to this the more I find it hurts when I find myself caught in it. Thank goodness I made the choice to stop, it really does not serve anyone.

  15. Thank you Simple Living Global for this relatable blog. It offers the practical tools to bring change to gossip and cursing which is so rife.
    I have been around gossip quite a bit and at one stage was quite a gossip myself but feeling what it was like and when done to me made me realise what I was doing. I find the more I work on not judging myself the less I judge others.
    Your sentence “Live and Let Live. Allow another to be in their choices. Accept another in their choices, in the knowing that one day they too will return to who they truly are.” stands out to me it gives another the space grow at their own pace.

  16. If we are going to be honest who in the world hasn’t judged or done some gossip or cursed for whatever reason.
    All of this stuff is ugly but nevertheless we do it.

    Something that really pricked me once was how insidious gossip is and I never felt comfortable as it is the same bit of stuff re-interpreted, mis-interpreted and spun around and around. In the culture I grew up in, women gossiping is really normal and still is today and ten times worse if you ask me.

    They do it for hours on the phone, if not in person and they have their own clicks, so each support each other and bad mouth whoever they want. It used to bother me and today I don’t even flinch. I can see the whole thing for what it is and thank God I do not choose to partake in such nonsense. What an utter waste of time and such a purposeless activity. You go nowhere, you are deeply harming another and worst of all – we think we are getting away with it. Funny we all know about karma but on this stuff it’s like that word does not exist.

    Karma or no karma, gossip has no purpose, so why on earth bother to engage in it?

  17. Evening Standard – 25 August 2017
    “drink promotes gossiping and provides material to gossip about”

    So here is the confirmation that alcohol is doing something to us where our mind is stimulated and we start expressing nonsense as that is what gossip is.

    Loose rubbish coming out of our mouth that more than likely holds no value or meaning and is far from the Truth. Why bother and WHY is is happening more with a drink?

    Could it be possible that alcohol is a scientific poison and it alters our natural state so something is talking but it sure ain’t us?

    How many times do we almost step aside of ourselves and say ‘who was that talking? that was not me as I don’t do that?’

    How come we have a loose tongue and lose our inhibitions with a drop of alcohol?

    What gets into us when that poison hits the system inside us?

    WHY are we not interested in research studies that could tell us something is dominating our thoughts and they are clearly not our thoughts?

    No one in their true state of being gossips and a great marker of that immutable fact is kids – our children do not know how to gossip and funny they don’t drink alcohol.

    Maybe there is a correlation and a hypothesis to consider here for our researchers of the the future.

  18. I notice many, many things. Especially about people.

    Growing up, I learned that observations about people get turned into judgements and criticisms and I realise that is what I had been doing.

    I felt this playing out this week, spending time with family.

    Except observations do not need to be turned into anything. If you simply stay observing what is going on, you get loads of information about how life is for a person and it helps you understand them better.

    In fact, this actually gets rid of judgement and criticism, because you can see what is playing out, with compassion.

    1. Thanks for your comment JS and I understand what you are saying here.

      This thing about observing is a great reminder for us all.

      I was talking to a very wise woman today and what she said made sense so I felt to share by putting comment on this blog.

      We need to learn to not judge others and have understanding. If we give others the space they will come to things in their own time. By staying open and transparent means we are not judging them and the chances are they will feel that.

      This added to your observing bit JS feels like a recipe I want to follow and guess what? I done a practice run today and it worked like magic.

      I realised how it does make a difference and all I had was the intention that I was going to remain open and transparent and not have those ugly thoughts about what they do or don’t do and this person just opened up and shared what I know they struggle with – which is expressing how they truly feel.

      Amazing how we can just keep on learning and learning and let go of ugly stuff like judgement and criticism, as it has no room for joy in our life.

  19. 2 people on the stairs at work yesterday having a good old gossip.

    As I approached them I could feel the thickness of the air between them. One was leading and the other was hooked in. The hushed, dramatic tone and the forward leaning, conspiratorial position of their bodies locking them in to the drama.

    It was so clear to feel what was going on, even though I didn’t hear the content of their conversation.

    It made me realise how fully we can lose ourselves in communication and how our bodies tell the tale, even if we are trying to present a ‘nothing to see here’ demeanour.

    And what if gossip has an impact on those who see and feel it, even if they are not the target of it? What if the fact of its existence and knowing of our readiness to participate in it actually degrade trust and keep us holding on to protection?

    I feel there is a much bigger picture here for us all to see in relation to gossip.

    1. This is interesting what you are saying here JS and it got me thinking.
      Growing up in a culture where women gossip and that is the norm was ugly to say the least. I can recall being uncomfortable in my body and squirming at some of the things that got said. It is no surprise I was known as a child who was anti-social and would prefer to play outside with the kids on the street or stay in my room and draw, read and write. I would do anything to avoid those regular visits to relatives that was just to gossip.

      As a teenager I questioned it, but then joined the bandwagon, which then started me on this road of gossip and the main ingredient was judgement.

      That circulating talk of the same thing, dissected over and over again with people adding their own bit of what they want, the whole thing got very disturbing. I know I used to wonder if those who we are bad mouthing can feel it on some level.

      Today I would say I am certain they can and that we have a karma, like it or not when we behave in anyway that harms another.

      This is not about being perfect, but it is rare for me now to engage in what I call nonsense and circulate stuff that has little or no interest. So when I am with family or relatives who still do this stuff they get me moving fast. I tend to walk off, observe and say nothing and at times, if it feels appropriate, I will say something to stop it.

      I mention no friends in the above because those I choose to hang around me, operate like I do and so we see no purpose in all this nonsense chat when the world is in a mess and we could all do with talking sense, sharing that with each other to support us and bringing more awareness.

      There is zero space in my life now to chit chat gossip on the phone or anywhere.

      The biggest living proof is my relationship with someone close in my family who lives overseas. We no longer spend one second on talking about what the family is doing, not doing or who has posted what on social media and what holiday they are going on.

      Our conversations feel meaningful and we are not drained. So this tells me gossip drains our life force, so is it worth it?

  20. This cursing stuff is serious if you ask me.

    Yesterday I was in my local swimming pool and I sensed this angry man. The lifeguard had clocked it and so had others, as one regular came up to me and was letting me know this guy was a ‘pain’.

    When he first said something I realised he was not a happy bunny and I just happened to be the target. Well things were not going well for him and my take is we cannot bring our stuff to the pool and think we can get away with it – well not if I am around.

    At one point I could clearly feel this man cursing me under his breath as he swam off and I called him out and he stopped after just one stroke. I asked him what was he saying to me and he completely changed and gave me a ‘nice’ response about what a fast swimmer I was. Anyway, I let him know in my usual straight talk style that no one gets away with that behaviour with me. Without spelling it out and not being judgemental, I knew I had to speak up as this ill behaviour had to be stopped.

    What I noticed after was his movements in the pool changed. He was no longer trying to annoy me or make me react to him. He suddenly started to slow down and not keep coming over to my side to push me out. He also stopped the cursing.

    Next – I now have a strong habit if I ever hear my mother or anyone cursing then I say something. Keeping my mouth shut is not an option.
    I am sure cursing is felt by the person on the receiving end but also the one who chooses to curse.

    I wonder if we do this ugly behaviour because we are not communicating in full and our lack of expression is causing it?

  21. I had a conversation with someone today who of course had been ‘clocking me’.
    By that I mean they have without any doubt been watching me and whilst we have not really spoken about anything, this person wanted to know what I do.

    What became apparent was they had already cast judgement about me and ‘read’ me and by that I mean they had come up with their own list of who I was as a person.

    They asked me what I do for a job – this seems to be a classic for most of us as we then follow on to tell them what we do.

    I had not finished talking and they told me that I live 100 miles an hour and they can see that. I was immediate in my response and told them straight that this was not true at all. In fact, I am the opposite to their judgement of me.

    I did not have to justify myself as I am steady in the way I live. I have a deep regard for my body but being human I am not perfect and that has never been a goal.

    The judgement was made because of what I actually do in a day and of course how I am every single time they see me at the local pool.

    How is it possible to go hundred miles an hour to get done what I do would be the real question but they were not going to ask that.

    I know when someone is not remotely interested in finding out why and that’s ok as it’s not for me to say anymore.

    The conversation had many other angles – all of which I stamped out what I knew was not true by just saying it as it is with no holding back. That is my style and something I will not change.

    On reflection, later in the day I had a sense of jealousy – a whiff, a smell of comparison and self fury from that person.

    Here was a woman who is solid and steady and has a high ranking self worth going on from the core, so it’s not dodgy or standing on shaky ground. In other words, I do not lack true confidence as it’s there in your face for all, with no wavering or dilly dallying depending on who is in front of me, as it makes no difference.

    I am learning more and more about the jealousy stuff and it really is ugly and awefull and it is around. I need to step up more and clock it at the time, as I usually get it after the conversation or the meeting.

    I put this comment on this blog as this website does not have a blog on comparison and jealousy – both are like they belong to the same family.

  22. I just read this one line from someone who knows what they are talking about and it prompted me to write a comment on this blog as it feels appropriate to ADD my bit.

    “Chinese whispers regularly become fact in a world enchanted by gossip”.

    In my usual questioning style – I am asking WHY does nonsense of any kind end up being FACTS?

    If we think about it – does this tell us that we really do have a Responsibility when we open our mouths and circulate something we have heard, but not bothered to check if it is true of not?

    Our world is full of lies and this is something we cannot pretend is not going on.

    Yet we blindly seem happy to pass on utter lies and tell others it is the truth and it is a fact. How crazy is that when we put it like that?

    I was one of those who would read something and thought the written word has to be true as it is published, in print so to speak. How wrong I was back in the old days. Not anymore.

    I have got savvy and I do know how to Plug In and Connect and by that I mean read the blog on this website and you too dear reader can have the same connection to your own body, which by the way I have found does not lie.

    Did you read that correctly – our body does not lie – but we do need to know how to connect first and from there we can then discern if it FEELS true or not.

    Without a marker inside us – like a compass, we are not going to know what is truth and what is not and then we will most certainly join the masses in this Chinese whispers becoming fact brigade.

    What is the point and the purpose of doing so?
    None is the answer.

    WHY not leave for the historians a true fact, an imprint that in hundreds of years to come can be studied and recognised as being the real deal – the raw truth with no agenda. In other words, spell it out and leave it for future generations to know.

    Next – back to that quote
    So WHY are we as a world so “enchanted by gossip”?
    What does it give us personally and what does it really mean?

    Whose spell are we under and where did it come from?
    WHY do we jump on the bandwagon just because others are doing it?
    WHY do we get caught up in the frenzy of gossip and spread it around?

    WHY are we void of expressing real stuff that we know is true?
    Why are we behaving in this way by circulating utter nonsense?

    No Chinese whispers would ever become fact if we as individuals zipped up and put a stop to this gossip business.

    Do we have a duty to those who will walk this world well after we have gone, to at least get some insight of what human life was really about back in the early 21st century, OR are we happy delaying the truth because we actually do not want to evolve or support those in the future to do so?

  23. https://winstonchurchill.org/resources/myths/an-actor-read-churchills-wartime-speeches-over-the-wireless/

    WHY would this link about Winston Churchill have anything to do with a blog on gossip.

    A quote from a wise man called Adam – “Chinese whispers regularly become fact in a world enchanted by gossip”.

    This link is worth reading as it is in direct contrast to the accusations made about Churchill.

    Towards the end we are told about the “ugly tapestry of denigration of Churchill” which came from the so-called ‘reputable historians’.

    Let us quote –
    Some of this so-called “revisionism” is subtle, much of it less so, like the malicious and ludicrous exaggeration of his drinking, which ignores all the testimony to the contrary by those who worked closely with him. Witnesses to the truth include a secretary who was with him for 30 years.

    Interesting how we are busy on the bandwagon of gossip without checking the facts or discerning what we read and hear. This was a long time ago but it would be true to say it continues today in our so called modern 21st century.

    We all hate gossip if it is lies about us or someone we are close to but yet we seem ok to accept and go along with it and be a part of it. Think about it – we read or hear something and we go immediately into re-action and want to re-tell the story and perhaps with our angle, our take, our exaggeration, our flavour, our salt and pepper and before you know it the other person takes it and does the same and then we have this big soup circulating a load of rubbish that has no meaning or purpose. Yes all purported by us and we wonder why we have become a cruel and heart-less world as some claim.

    Are we in need of looking in the mirror first before we continue riding on the gossip bandwagon?

    Is it time to step off and set an example so others wake up and realise, that this is not what the most intelligent species on Earth needs to do as it retards our evolution?

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