Listening to Other People

Dear World

WHY do we choose to listen to other people?
WHY do we think we need to listen to other people?
WHY do other people tell us to listen to other people?
WHY do we always think other people have the answer?

WHY does listening to other people take us off track?
WHY does listening to other people land us in hot water?
WHY does listening to other people bug us so much?
WHY does listening to other people take us on a merry go round?

WHY are we listening to other people, then blame them?
WHY are we listening to other people, then criticize them?
WHY are we listening to other people, then judge them?
WHY are we listening to other people, then cursing them?

WHY do we listen to other people and become –

Fed up

Could it be possible that when we are Listening to other people, something changes inside us, even if we are not aware of it?

Could it be possible that Listening to other people disturbs or unsettles us inside and can be very subtle?

Could it be possible that Listening to other people can be inspiring and we feel expanded and have more space inside us?

Time to get real and get honest

How often do we stop and clock how we feel when we are listening to other people?

How often do we listen to someone talking twaddle and simply nod like we agree?

How often do we disagree when we are listening, but keep our mouth shut and swallow our words?

How often do we want to tell someone to simply shut up, but we let them rattle on?

How often do we just accept someone rambling on and switch off from what they are saying?

How often do we pay little or no attention to someone and pretend we are listening?

How often do we listen to nonsense when we know we need to cut it by saying something?

How often do we have the answers for someone droning on but we simply hold back and say nothing?

How often do we listen to other people because we want them to like us?

How often do we go along with what another is saying, so we don’t rock the boat?

How often do we feel disturbed when those closest say something, but we need to play nice and polite, as that’s what we do?

How often do we go into reaction when someone talks and presses our buttons?

How often do we listen to people then pick up the phone and bad mouth them?

How often do we listen to someone because they have letters before or after their name?

How often do we listen to other people who recommend someone but they are not really what we want?

How often do we listen to other people and take action because we want to be just like them?

How often do we listen to other people because we want to copy their lifestyle?

 How often do we go into comparison when we are listening to someone who is very inspiring, by the way they live?

How often do we feel self-fury when we are listening to another who has clearly made choices in their life that we have not made?

Would it be true to say that by Listening to other people, we allow an outer influence to shape our lives in some way?
In other words, we do not use our own inner compass to discern what is Truth and what is not. Instead we go along with what another has to say, so we give our power away to them.

What if we listen to our parents who want us to follow their dream and not stand up for the Truth we feel?

What if we listen to our parents and please them even when we are in our 40’s?

What if we listen to our neighbours when we know it is nonsense?

What if we end up listening to others and never get over the hurt?

What if we listen to others because of our fear?

What if we listen to others because we just want to please?

What if we listen to others because we want to impress?

What if we listen to others just to get the job promotion?

What if we listen to others because we want to get it right?

What if we listen to others because we think they are better than us?

What if we listen to others because of their job title?

What if we listen to others because of their position in society?

What if we choose to listen to others at the detriment of our health and well-being?

Coming from lived experience, I can say that listening to other people can land us in deep water without a paddle.
My spiritual new age investments in so called top speakers and presenters around the world, cost me loads and not just financially. Read this blog for more –

Going into reaction and jumping on the bandwagon, just because we see what we think is a ‘successful’ presenter with a big audience, does not make it the Truth as I learned after 25 years.
Just because someone says something or recommends or advises, what can or will work, does not necessarily mean it is the Truth.

We each have a RESPONSIBILITY to learn and develop how to feel what is true and what is not and that way we cannot get fooled.

What can work is to ask questions and keep asking questions, when we feel something whilst listening to other people.

If we feel absolutely nothing, then it is wise to ask ‘WHY do we feel numb?’
No questions = no change.

Could it be possible that when we choose to not listen to what our body is saying, we shut down the messages that are impulsed from our inner-most heart?

Could it be possible that if we start to listen to what our body is communicating then we can truly listen to another?

Could it be possible that if we started to listen to our body it would put us on the right track to discern others?

Could it be possible that if we choose to connect to our body first, we can then feel what is true and what is not when LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE?





Comments 43

  1. Yes, staying present with yourself when you are listening to someone is the way to truly listen.
    Every conversation with someone is a setup, an opportunity to connect and learn. But if you are just waiting to talk rather than really listening, you can miss what is being presented to you.

    There is so much that is being offered to support me, in all parts of my life and all I need to do is truly listen and be open to another way.

  2. So why do we listen to another person, or news or anything?

    I have spent a lot of time listening, because I have too. Mostly in school. When I have to listen it makes it very difficult to focus on what is being said, and get anything out of it. And it makes me resentful.

    The other reason that I learned as a child, is listening out of respect. Or listening so that person will like you, that you care what they say.

    As I grew older, I have tried to listen to everyone that I meet, treating them as an equal, honoring what they are saying, which to me is giving them space to express what they feel. This can be very challenging at times, but I find if I give them my whole attention and do not feed them back what I think they want to hear, it can be amazing exchange.

    If I can not get caught up in what is being said and focus on really being present in the situation, I can truly listen, because there is so much more going on than just words.

    1. You are truly a good listener Ken; I hope everyone can learn what it is like to be heard.

      It is a very different experience speaking with you because you really do pay attention,
      You are not just agreeing, waiting to talk or trying to be liked; you are you with me.

      I learn so much conversing with you because you are open and you stay true to what you feel, so by that nature, you then are true to me.

  3. I was raised to respect my elders and be polite above all.

    This can be very damaging, as you push down what you are really feeling and you stop questioning.

    It’s great to take a fresh look at the subject of listening and how much of an influence it has on our behaviours.

  4. I went to a workshop and I did an exercise with another person. I had five minutes to say anything I wanted to say, but I did not have to say anything. The other person just listened. Then we switched roles.

    This was a scary thing to do for me because I have felt that I never knew what to say in a social situation and I felt I needed to say something.

    It was an incredible experience to have this space just for me, to say anything. To have someone there just to listen to me.

    The most powerful part of this experience was when I choose not to speak. At first it was uncomfortable but eventually it allowed a level of connection and real communication to happen that could not have happened if I was talking.

    These people I did the exercise with were strangers and I know very little about there lives but the level of connection I felt to these people through this 15 minute experience is deeper than most of my “close” relationships.

    1. What a concept Ken; to listen to a person even if they are not speaking, even if they can’t find their words or when they do speak to listen to them beyond the words they use.

      The fact that you experienced a connection or closeness beyond most relationships you had after only 15 minutes of truly listening to each other is a huge lesson about the power of listening with openness.

      Is this not about really ‘being with someone’, is this not about truly meeting each other?
      Why have we made this such a rare experience when we all want it so?

  5. There are whole books written on the skill and art of listening.

    Perhaps we’ve lost our connection with it so much that we need to relearn it.

    For me, listening is very much about connecting with the other person and it is about equality – knowing that we all have equal access to wisdom.

  6. I have been increasingly aware, thanks to the truthfulness of Simple Living Global and the work I have been doing to get to the bottom of the discord within myself, that I have been listening to others, as an excuse not to take Responsibility.
    I have not wanted to ‘take charge’ of myself or my life.

    I have listened to others ‘over’ listening to myself for a very long time and it has made my life to be a very unhappy inside out way of existing.

    I have listened to others instead of claiming myself in full.
    Now that I see and feel what I’ve been doing there is no going back, only forward, connecting to and bringing out the wisdom and power that I have always had inside me.

  7. Your experience, Ken, turns our current model of family and friends on its head.

    That you can feel so connected with someone, simply by them listening to you and not expecting anything.

    This can serve as an inspiration to all of us.

  8. Superb blog. There is so much in this I relate to. I have been a big ‘listen to’ person most of my life, giving my power away in many directions, listening to what others say rather than my own knowing.

    Over the last few years I have been changing this by connecting to my body, learning to listen to it’s messages and how I feel about something. What is remarkable is there is such a clear knowing in the body and it really is such a true guide. I don’t get it right all the time and still listen to outside of me, but much much less now and life has changed considerably from it.. My confidence and trust has grown, in myself and in the world. I now know the answers are within me, all I have to do is listen.

    How much do we listen to each other, to adverts, advise, opinions? I know it has certainly got me into some pickles.. but listening to my body changes my choices and things turn round.

  9. Listening to what people or media are saying is how our world is. Focusing on the words and what they mean. This is what we were taught in school.

    This way of listening limits our awareness of what is really being communicated. When we are a baby, we communicated quite well without words.

    I feel we have gotten away from this level of communication because we do not trust our own natural ability to feel what is going on and what is needed.

    We have been giving our power away to a book or an “expert”, because we are afraid we do not know the answer.

    We are afraid because we have disconnected from our own inner knowingness that is “listening” to everything that is going on all the time.

  10. I had an experience yesterday of what it’s like to really listen.

    A group of us were discussing something and I didn’t get what they were talking about. The conversation was stilted and I didn’t feel fully in it.

    I was frowning hard and realised I was trying to keep up and I wanted to be the one to say something smart. I decided to sit back and just listen for a while.

    Just listening, without a goal in my head or worrying about looking stupid, was a game changer. The conversation started to flow.

    I wonder how many of us in conversations get stuck trying to be something and get held back by what we think people will think.

  11. One thing I have learned from raising children is that if you listen to them, they are more likely to listen to you. A great realization for life.

    It is so easy to really listen to what our world considers an expert, and consider what they are saying. I feel this is because of our education system that does not value what an uneducated person might say.

    It took me awhile to get there because of my belief that I knew more about life than my children, but by really listening to my children, they have taught me things I could not have received any other way.

  12. It has always been uncomfortable for me to try to communicate with someone who does not speak english. I get anxious and in the past and I would avoid the situation. I understand now it is because I have totally relied on words to communicate.

    I am now living in a new place where many people do not speak english. I am understanding that it is opportunity to go deeper in my communication skills. If I can stay with myself, not get attached to the outcome, and really meet the person, it is amazing the level of connection that is possible without understanding the words.

    It brings the concept of what listening is all about to a new level.

    It shows me that every situation in life is presenting me an opportunity to evolve if I am open to it.

  13. This is a great blog to return to today as I deliberate a decision.. it’s reminding me to come back to my body and it’s wisdom, listen, then feel what is true.. my own guidance and knowing will be there.

  14. I am questioning more and more all the things I have heard and assumed were true.

    I feel if goes back to school were I was taught that what the teacher says is true. I understand now that this is part of my resistance to school. As a a child I knew that some of what the teacher said was wrong, but I felt that in order to survive I had to go against my inner knowing.

    To ignore this inner voice takes a lot of energy. I feel this is why I have been exhausted all my life.

    With support from Simple Living Global and Universal Medicine I am getting back to myself. Remembering that inner wisdom that never left me and honoring myself that I know when something is wrong and what I say does make a difference.

  15. I was just thinking about how we are listening to other people when we read what they write. So someone could be writing utter lies online and there are some of us who will jump on the bandwagon and take it like it is true. Bingo.
    We are listening and not discerning whether it is the Truth or not.

    We do that when we read stories from the media, magazines, books etc.
    How are we so sure that listening to what others say actually is supporting us?
    In some way we could just be going up the wrong path.

    I know I was one of those listening to all the spiritual leaders and gurus who I thought were talking the Truth and it turned out the whole lot was a load of twaddle and I only know that now since I have stopped listening to other people and if I do, I have this inbuilt compass, like a radar and I just know.

    Of course I am not always bang on but most times I just know and it has come from choosing to live a deeply self connecting life.

    It makes sense and I am not far off or way out as I can smell Truth and that to me is lies stink and my job is stop judging others and keep observing how this world operates.

    Gone are the days where I blindly listen to others or hang around when I know it is a load of nonsense. Some polite people would say that’s rude, I call it real.

  16. Yes, Bina, it is critical that we do not just assume that what we are reading or hearing is true. Feeling what is true for us is the only way we can really know what is going on.

    At first this concept of feeling what is the truth, seemed impossible for me to do. But with patience and commitment I am realizing that I have always known what is right and wrong, I have just lost trust in myself.

    Words have always confused me because it seemed like people could twist them around to mean whatever they want.
    Now if I can stay with myself and feel what that person is presenting, I can make a better decision about what to believe.

    This concept can totally change our world. There is so much worthless stuff being presented in our world. If we can decipher what is really true by feeling (which we can), that is the way forward.

    This idea of feeling the truth was first presented to me by Serge Benhayon. He said “Do not believe anything I say unless it feels true to you”.

    1. Re-reading your comment Ken, I can really relate to it with a real life example yesterday when someone talked about the effects of having a certain essential oil in our face and body products. I did listen and of course the source where they got the information from was in my opinion true. However, it did not completely resonate inside my body.

      This is where the words you quote about it feeling true comes in.
      I got home and started with a hand cream and yes it had this oil in it. To be honest I rarely use it but nevertheless I thought do I throw it out in reaction or do I get to the stage where I can feel my own body rejecting it.

      My husband has been using the same product this person was saying No to and yet he has no intention of suddenly changing and reading his ingredients on what his bath product choices are. Yes this is detail and Yes this is necessary at some point in our life – but what if we are not actually there yet in our awareness?

      Are we listening to other people and making our choices, or are we listening to our own body which will tell us loud and clear when we are ready if something is affecting us?

      My take is when we come from our head – in other words knowledge it stays there and does not really offer a true change. So when someone stops using something because they listened to another person then it cannot be the truth. When another asks then our response would be coming with empty words because it came from the head and not our own lived experience.

      The same applies to food. I have heard a thousand times and more what I should and should not be eating to support my evolution – do I pay attention?
      Not really as the best way for me that works is to work it out myself with my body telling me so and that way it stays off the radar forever. A great example of this would be chocolate or alcohol – both which were consumed in the past in excess.

      Listening to other people really requires us to discern and that way it becomes our own truth because it is coming from lived experience and not our head saying this and that.

  17. I have been feeling not listening too lately. It has brought up feelings of my childhood where I felt no one was listening to me. I stopped and felt these feelings and with some tears of sadness they gradually went away.

    I have been carrying these feelings of nobody cares about me for a long time. I did not want to let these feelings of being hurt go because I wanted somebody to fix them for me.

    Going deeper I am understanding that although I have a right to be listened too, it is impossible to make someone listen to me. This realization helped me understand that a need to take more responsibility for what happened. And possibly that there is a deeper sadness of not listening to myself.

    This whole process of understanding what is really going on in a situation, is the result of the support I have received from Simple Living Global and Universal Medicine.

    Dealing with all these unfelt hurts has turned my life around. My exhaustion is gone, I am feeling ready to go out and do what ever is asked of me to support my brothers and sisters in the world.

  18. I caught myself the other day listening to someone and accepting what they said yet I could feel right then that this was not true for me, yet I still listened to them.
    It felt so uncomfortable in my body, I could not settle.
    When I got my clarity with it and looked at why I listened over my own knowing I was able to let it go and learn from the experience.. and when the opportunity presents I will speak my truth.

  19. I have never felt as frustrated and mad as I did when I felt my young children were not listening to me and not doing what I said.

    I had been good at holding back my feelings in my life, so this episode really sticks out for me. And I feel shame for subjecting my children to it.

    My children helped me understand that no matter what you say you can not force someone to do what you want. This was a big realization for me and helped me understand that yes, I should say what I feel, but if I have any attachment to the outcome I am setting myself up for struggle.

    The key is to live your life in way that shows people a way that works for you, and understand that it is their choice to do it or not.
    Actions speak louder than words and sometimes they are easier to listen too.

  20. Is it possible that listening to other people can lead us to war?

    Listening to other people can get us into all sorts of trouble.

    Quite a few years ago, I listened to someone and ended up having a fight with a friend of mine.

    I had bought a new pair of light brown Timberland boots and he thought it would be funny to stamp on them. It left a large scuff mark that never came off. Another friend who witnessed it, said to me “Oh man, you’re not going to take that are you?”

    Because I listened to him, I then went to confront the boot stomper.

    It didn’t quite turn into fisticuffs as other people stepped in but there were tables upended and harsh words thrown about.

    As this blog says, we each have a responsibility to learn to discern what is truth or what is not.

    In this instance, I chose not to discern but react and in doing so I was easily influenced by someone else.

    I suppose this is what we could call a microcosm event but it is easy to see how it doesn’t even have to be a macrocosm event, to turn into war.

  21. This ‘listening to other people’ really does require us to discern before we go jumping on the bandwagon about something or someone.

    A real life thing happened this week where someone I know got told by some bigwig, who knows what’s what when it comes to perfume spraying that we are not to spray it on our wrists and rub wrists. I walked away thinking how come I did not feel like taking action.

    Next day perfumes gets sprayed on the wrist and I thought if there is some unspoken law against doing that, so be it as it made no difference to me.

    However, when a friend came to stay with me and knew what’s what when it came to teeth flossing, I was interested and inspired as it all made sense. Since then I started flossing my teeth in the evening and can feel the benefits.

    Could it be possible that when we listen to other people, if they are truly walking the walk and talking the talk, it holds a quality – a vibration so to speak that offers us the same if we choose?

    In other words, they are not coming from circulating words from others that are not being lived so it holds no value and this is what we feel, even if we may not be aware of it.

    It’s high time we started to wake up to who we are choosing to listen to and WHY.

    If we are subscribing to anyone with what they are saying, a wise question would be to ask – what quality are they living consistently everyday and is this something that deeply inspires you?

    For me, unless I can feel that absolute quality, forget it as I will not listen, as I know where it is coming from as my body knows when something is real and when it is not.

  22. Giving my power away to other people:

    In the past I did a lot of “searching”.
    I thought I needed something or someone to fix me…
    I was avoiding taking responsibility for what I knew and felt inside.

    I often notice that many of us are more willing to ‘buy’ lies about something (be influenced by advertising , news reports or scientific based findings) being ‘OK’ or ‘good’ so we can rationalize having it (as we feel we need it).

    An example is how willing the masses are to believe the reports that chocolate and red wine have health benefits without wanting to see (feel) that the detriments outweigh what ‘good’ was tested to be in the grapes and the pure bitter chocolate…

  23. This listening to other people can be applied to audio – so we have music and we listen to the person singing and what is it that we take on?

    What about all those songs written from another who is hurting, venting, hurling abuse at another – how do we take that on?

    What happens to us inside our body when we listen to music?
    I wonder how many of us have stopped and considered that question.

    I know I found many musicians really ‘hooking’ me when it comes to their music and when I bought a CD kept playing it.
    I realised I was listening to another person in my head, even at night keeping me awake.

    No surprise the next day I heard on the radio that this person wrote that particular song while they were “completely stoned”.
    If we read between the lines, is this telling us something?

    I sure learned my lesson and these days very little hooks me in as I feel it and just simply move and switch the thing off.

    Of course I can’t do this in a supermarket, department store or restaurant but just choosing not to engage with the outer noises seems easy now.

    Our world is full of distractions and the best thing that has worked for me is to learn to listen to me. To do that I simply need to connect and feel my body as it really does know what’s best.

  24. Metro News – 16 August 2017

    A study finds that 2 in 3 parents hand down the same pearls of wisdom to their children that they were told and these include –
    get an education
    if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything
    you don’t get something for nothing
    practice makes perfect

    Are these really pearls of wisdom?
    Are they out dated?
    Are our youth bothering to pay attention?

    Is getting an education taken to the extreme where it is regarded as so important but there is little or no regard for the body?
    Is saying something nice, being honest and truthfull?

    If we are being nice are we willing to negate what really needs to be expressed?
    Is being nice feeling like it holds no purpose or value?

    What about being perfect?
    Do we need to realise that perfect is an unattainable goal?
    Are we setting our kids up to fail with these so called ‘pearls of wisdom’?
    How can our kids ‘practice makes perfect’, when we as adults have stuffed up and are way off from being perfect?
    Is this practice makes perfect a demand that falls well short of truth?

    Is asking questions a good ‘pearl of wisdom’?
    Is the word RESPONSIBILITY for every choice we make worth adding as a pearl of wisdom to pass down?

    Are we as parents struggling with being nice as we know it sucks and the other person knows and feels that too, so it’s just a game we play?

    Is this ‘you don’t get something for nothing’ an ideal or a belief that is well past its sell by date as there is no such thing?

    Is this pearl of wisdom fooling us and stopping us from learning about being open to giving and receiving?

    What if we have got it all wrong and true pearls of wisdom would not have these on the list?

  25. I was listening to someone recently telling me how much they appreciated me and how inspired they were. At the time I first thought this is hot talk and was very dismissive. I then thought maybe they are genuine but this is someone I have not fully trusted in the past, so who knows where this is really coming from. I then made a choice. I went with how my body felt and it was not really taking it in like it was truth.

    Few days later I get an email from this same person and it made me think, we really need to stop and discern in every moment when we choose to listen to another person. If you heard what was said face to face and listened to that vibration it was polar opposite to the quality of vibration that I was hearing from the email, which in my words I would call utter nonsense, because it was like it was someone else writing and not the person who was speaking a few days earlier.

    Life would be a lot more simple if people got consistent in the way they express and then when we listen it would feel same same and not disturbing. Maybe one day the world and its brothers will learn to communicate and express in a way that is steady and not disturbing.

  26. A man was having a seething row over the phone with his partner on the train yesterday.

    It was clear they were not listening to each other.

    I then watched a news interview my husband showed me of a wise man trying to get his point across to a journalist who wanted to twist his words. On one side at least, there was no true listening there either.

    It is like our minds filter the truth and give it a flavour that feeds our entrenched beliefs and our ideals and our hurts.

    And it’s like we want to be understood before we can truly listen to another.

    My kids’ wise God mother introduced to our house an ‘understanding hat’. Whether you have a hat or not, when there is tension with another, you put on (metaphorically or actually) your understanding hat and seek to be wise as to where they are coming from.

    This is a game changing technique. It gives you space to feel what is true and decide how to respond rather than jumping into reaction. It has been a huge support for one of my sons in particular.

    I have seen this week how much the world would benefit from more of this. How understanding could help us actually listen to each other.

    We might even discover that harmony is not so far from our grasp as all the conflict in the world might lead us to believe it is.

  27. This is a very important blog Simple Living Global – thank you for writing this along with all of the other blogs on this website. I find them very valuable and I find that it helps us to question life and not accept the status quo, if this is what we choose.

    I have spent most of my life listening to other people, through choice. It has served me so that I do not have to take responsibility for my life and all that occurs; I am now making choices to change this.

    One area where I feel we can overlook our self-responsibility is in the workplace.

    I was on a training course this week and the trainer shared the story of a housing officer who was asked to go on a home visit to a tenant who has a violent background. The warning notes on the system said that it needed to be a two person visit. His manager told him to go alone ‘as he was experienced’. The officer chose to go alone although he was reluctant.

    The outcome: The Housing Officer was attacked by the tenant. He is no longer able to work, suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yes he received a £144,000 payout from his employer, but was it worth it?

    We always know ourselves best and so ultimately we are responsible for all of our actions. A message I choose to truly heed.

  28. I visited another post office yesterday whilst out on errands which was not local.
    It was closed and staff in the shop informed me the clerk was on a break.

    There was no sign informing the public and in the UK we have post office hours quite clear. I waited as someone went and got him.

    Before I said a word, he told me that he works over 8 hours without a break and that he has 15 minutes off for coffee and a sandwich and I should be patient.
    I told him it was a choice and that he should consider a lunch break, which I am certain is statutory in any job and leave a sign so others like me are not left waiting with no clear indication of when business was open again.

    Of course this created tension, but for me expressing what I felt was the Truth was important. It would be easier to be nice and let things go, but the truth is what is the quality of service if someone chooses not to take care of their basic needs like a simple break to support them nourish and rejuvenate.

    He then was very unhelpful with my transactions and being super officious with the detail, but of course there was nothing I had done wrong other than disturb him by not being nice, but speaking the Truth.

    Listening to other people – in this case what this man had to say made no sense to me and I was quick to tell him so.

    I wonder how many of us would not bother or just let these small things in our day pass us by to avoid the confrontation that it may present?

  29. My observations today – on the street Citizen Journalism as I call it.

    I had entered a local government building and needed to urgently contact a member of staff who was a member of my family. The security man basically told me that it was not possible and that the staff on the ground – front line reception would not be able to help.

    I sat down to take in what was said and something inside me was saying not to give up and to not listen to others and accept things. I went over to two more staff and got nowhere.

    Then another, as something inside me said there has to be another way. I cannot walk out just because I am listening to other people when I felt the Truth inside me. As I lined up in a queue to speak to a reception member of staff, a man appeared and just asked me if I wanted some help. Bingo he was able to connect me without any problem and the matter was resolved.

    As I was leaving the building, I went up to the security man and told him that what he had said was incorrect and that it is possible to contact staff. This felt complete and it confirmed that we all need to stop listening to others, even if they are in authority if we are feeling something. To not honour what I was feeling would have led to unnecessary time wasted and more.

    There are many times we know innately what we feel but then override because we made a choice to listen to someone else.

    What I realised is that I live a life where I leave no stone unturned when something is not right and this is why I got the results today. I am not one that just blindly accepts something because someone has said it, even if they are an official.

  30. Listening to a preacher telling the audience about world peace and happiness to around 300 people at a wedding. What I noticed is how some were totally swept in with what was being said and as always I had to question everything that was being presented.

    I was not voicing it but having an internal dialogue and sitting with what was being said and clocking how it resonated with me in my body. I was not distracted by the fancy garments or other glitz and glamour going on. I made notes on my phone, as I felt it was a topic of conversation when I am next with friends, of what exactly was said and the beliefs and ideals that many subscribe to.

    The interesting thing came at food time when mr preacher ended up sitting next to me and without any prompt started talking about his lack of sleep. Without mincing my words, I told him he was exhausted and he needed to address it and went on to talk about the Sleep blog on this website and the science that it presents, because the author lives that. Others on the table seemed interested at this point.

    How many of us know of a moment where there is an opportunity to express what we know but simply hold back out of habit or just allow others to talk away with no real conversation to speak of?

    I am certain that is why I am confident in talking and equally in listening to other people is because I have a way of expressing online, by way of comments.

    These are moments of time and space just for expressing whatever I feel to say with no holding back. Over a few years, I have noticed what a difference it has made.

    Somehow it helps me to have a deeper understanding of others but at the same time allows me the space to say what I feel, without any concern or doubt about where it will end up.

    I have no worries if someone bad mouths me, stops talking to me or thinks I am out of order. What I know is when I listen to other people, if it makes sense I will confirm and if not, I will question or say what feels the truth.

    Our world needs to just stop accepting everything when listening to other people.

    It is a responsibility always to deliver truth and if we know and feel something is not truth, when listening to other people, then we have a duty to say it.

  31. Whilst the essence of this blog is about us listening to other people, I was in close proximity and the loud conversation could not be ignored.

    So a woman was having a “Hollywood” laser treatment as part of her hair removal.

    For some, who may not be familiar with the term, it is having a full whammy removal of the pubic hair in the ladies’ downstairs department – her vagina.

    My friend saw the woman and said she was like a super model and we both questioned whether we know the consequences when we direct laser to such a sensitive part of our anatomy.

    Laser hair removal is big business, as I hear people discussing the cost and somehow they just find the bucks to pay for it, because it does not come cheap. You also need a course of treatments, so it is not just a one off payment.

    I have found that I can learn so much when I listen to other people, what they have to say and what they put out there in the world. By that I mean, it is easy for me to discern what the conversations are about. Are they meaningful and supporting for all of us or are they I, me, myself type talks, or are they about any nonsense as long as we get heard.

    Next – I recently got told by someone that I do not listen and their partner tells me they never listen and that issue has been around for a long time.

    This is interesting when we cast judgment about another, when it is the very thing we do, but hate at the same time.

    Yep I told him when there was an opportunity, as saying nothing was not an option for me.

    Once upon a time, I did not listen to anyone and was too hurt with my emotions to pay attention to what anyone had to say.

    The other thing was, I can read right through people so talking baloney bored me and I would switch off or interrupt – both are not good and I don’t advise that.

    Now I do listen, but if I feel abuse because it is not the quality and standard I have set, then I will question it or walk away. No point doing nice and nodding, when listening to other people, just because that is what most people do.

  32. A friend and I were talking today about listening to and acting on what we are feeling and not overriding this by going with what another has said, or leaving things to someone else as we think they know better.

    We are all masters of wisdom, our downfall is not listening to that wisdom within.

    My friend and I find that, by listening to what we are feeling and discussing it with each other, we often come to a greater understanding and awareness about a situation.

    With this, personally I know that my confidence has grown and even though there are times that I find that I have listened to others and ignored by inner-feelings, I soon find out that this was an error.

    It is great to ask others for advice and their opinions on what they would do in certain circumstances, but ultimately we are the ones in the driver’s seat of our lives and it is our responsibility to make the final decision.

    Listening to ourselves, may seem difficult, if this is not something that we are used to doing and I know for myself, when I first started to put this into practice, it was the lack of trust in what I felt that made it difficult. I was constantly questioning whether I was making a mistake.

    However slowly, slowly I have chosen to act on what I feel inside and it has started with small things like what to wear, what to eat, how I wear my hair, how I choose to keep my room at home, etc.

    Starting with small things like this has built the trust in what I feel, as I get to have a marker inside, of what it feels like to do something that is true for me, which is very empowering.

  33. I recently had an experience where I listened to another, but I did not check in with my body with how it was feeling as the person was speaking.

    If I had done, I would have been more astute and able to tell that the talk was coming from someone who was emotional and therefore was not communicating wisdom or anything that could inspire or support another to grow.

    As a consequence of not checking in with my body and just going with the words, for the next 24 hours I made choices that were not true to my body at all and I felt a great discomfort and unsettlement. It was only when a friend contacted me to say that I was not myself and wanted to speak with me about their observations, that I was able to be shaken out of what I was in.

    What if the key to true wisdom and confidence comes from listening and responding to what our own bodies are communicating, instead of trying to follow in another’s foot steps?

  34. I have a habit when dining on my own to flick through reading material that I gather in the week that may just have something I could report on.

    January newspaper weekend supplements are full of the stuff we could be doing post festive season.

    I read about using sledge hammers and baseball bats for an Anger Management workout.

    So this is one journalist saying how much relief they got from doing this.

    I had to do a STOP AND PAUSE moment.
    What newspaper did this come from – it was The Times.

    I see readers of this particular paper as not your average jo who wants to vent on the street, but someone who calls themselves ‘intelligent’ because they are classed as ‘well-read’ hold down jobs and have financial stability. That’s my take.

    How many millions will read this whole page spread about a new way to vent our anger in a ‘workout’?

    How many will listen to other people and jump on board without stopping to ask further questions?

    How many of us have a tendency to look for something new when it comes to solutions to fix things?

    How many of us are ready and waiting for articles like this to support us to function in life and not get concerned whether the actual workout works or not?

    Back to Anger Management – are we just ‘managing’ a behaviour and will it really work?

    In other words, is this a band aid solution to a bullet wound issue that remains, because we have NOT got to the root cause of WHY we are angry in the first place?

    I have come across hundreds and hundreds of people in my life where Anger is clearly there and their body feels hard – like it is guarded and protected.

    Part of my job is supporting those who have buried issues and there has been a theme when it comes to anger.
    Underneath the anger is HURT.

    I am not talking from any scholar, academic or professional background.
    I am not claiming to be qualified or aligned to the current intelligensia that this world subscribes to either.

    I am talking from anecdotal evidence and common sense, which seems to nail it when it comes to supporting those who present anger and want help.

    We get hurt and we are not equipped at the time to deal with the hurt. We have no idea what to do or even acknowledge that we are hurt in the first place.
    Not expressing that hurt brings in anger, so when I support another with anger, I go to the hurt and once it is talked about and accepted that there is hurt, there is always a shift in behaviour.

    Back to this blog – we seem to be a world that listens to others yet we need to discern.

    I would rather go and see someone or talk to someone that I know is not angry or frustrated – in other words they have cleared that vibration in their body and are therefore free of it. To me that would help me and if I did listen to them, chances are I would feel the vibration they express in feels clear and true for me.

    Bashing and venting at a fixed tyre with a baseball bat may give me instant relief and set off those feel good chemicals in the brain, but does it really and truly release the anger at the root ?
    I really do not think so and I am talking from wisdom and a lived body full of real life experience.

    For the record, I walk the talk and that means I have dealt with my deep buried hurts and issues and this has given me a life where I really do not get angry about anything. Fact.

    Those who want to study me to see if this statement is true should do so for a decade – then they will know if this is hot talk or the real deal.

  35. What is the audience size that a celebrity chef has?

    How many would subscribe and align to anything that they say?

    How many of us listen because another has superstar status in the cooking world?

    WHY are we listening to other people and how does this serve us?

    Daily Mail weekend supplement 16 February 2019

    Growing potatoes with lots of manure is apparently an old fashion thing.
    So our celebrity chef is suggesting something they do – use lion manure.
    Find it online or pop down to your local zoo and buy because it keeps foxes and cats away.

    What next? –

    There is more…
    Same chef who appears every week with new recipes – ALL contain alcohol.
    This week stout soup, last week chocolate and cherry gin cake, week before that rum and sultana brioches and rum and raisin bread and butter pudding. So a new take on existing recipes many of us are familiar with.

    Is this all happening because we the customers are demanding more and more different and new ways to distract ourselves, because just growing potatoes would be simple and therefore boring?

    Or making a nourishing soup has no wow factor, but with alcohol it changes everything and we have something to tell our friends on social media?

    Or desserts need an extra high so we can consume even more alcohol but it goes un-noticed as it’s in the food and not a straight drink?

    Are the suppliers just giving us what we want and so we cannot blame, cast judgement or say these guys are making bucket loads of money supplying us the delights we keep demanding, as it is we who keep wanting more and more?

    This point is well worth considering.

  36. I have made it a way of life to talk and engage with others where it feels appropriate.

    People are not all open and willing to trust us with what is going on in their private world but if we are living in a way that gives them an opportunity to talk – then why not be the listening ear, which may be all they need in that moment.

    What I mean by ‘living in a way’ is that we are not in a vibration that feels busy, stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed or wanting to always talk about I, me and myself.

    This story is probably a microcosm of what is going on in our world today and yet few of us know or are even aware of the hardship others are facing and can see no way out.

    Looking after a partner who is unable to leave the house – full time carer.
    Visiting a mother in a care home.
    Visting a father who is 91 and has dementia but refuses to go into a care home.
    Watching the suffering of her step mother who at 82 is struggling to look after the old man on her own but again sees no way out.

    Has high blood pressure and other ill health too.

    What was shared was that if at any point she simply stopped, she is convinced she would have a breakdown, so she just keeps going – accepting that this is how it is and nothing will ever change.

    By the end of our conversation, she was ready to step up with the sibling talk about getting dad in his 90s into care, as it was near impossible to continue as it has been.

    She walks with my card and knows that I can be contacted if ever she needs support and it may just be to have a chat.

    Many of us forget the value of expressing what we feel and having another listening.

    I have learned heaps about what is going on just by talking and listening to people, regardless of their age, gender, background or job title.

  37. In our local supermarket Health 2020 magazine there is a page dedicated to “commute(rcise)”
    This is about keeping fit on your route to work.

    Of course the world of Apps are on it supplying what we are demanding – usually some sort of entertainment in the name of another solution.

    This particular App is where you make a monthly or annual payment and you get a professional coach in your ear. You get delivered a range of easy to follow training sessions that can be done ‘on the move’. It is linked with a fitness tracker to get personalised feedback based on your heart rate.

    Sounds a bit basic and simple but WHO are we actually listening to?

    Is it the dulcet tones that we want to hear or is it a bootcamp military style voice that gets us into action on the way to work?

    What are we listening to? In other words what is the Quality, the vibration of what we are saying yes to in this instance?

    My question is would it work in the long term or will we seek another App or just get bored as we do with most things that are a quick fix solution?

    Listening to other people may sound like a great idea but in reality it may not deliver the promises that the ads and literature tell us.
    Have we actually considered this point?

    What if you don’t like the voice, the tone or the feel of this pro coach in your eardrums?

    What if you get a sense that it may not be what you signed up for but you made such a big announcement on social media to your friends that you have to see it through?

    This whole comment may sound a bit negative or non engaging in the bandwagon of Apps.
    My take is WHY not try something more human, simple and basic?

    Coming from lived experience I would say dedicating a specific time to just walk with no agenda most days actually works and supports me in my life to not only keep my body active, moving and fit but also my mind. ADD to that some stretches and basic exercises and bingo job done.

    That means when I travel to work I do not have to think of sweating or trying to do exercise in work gear. The other thing is my focus remains ready and prepared for work and not engaging in listening to ‘other people’ – in this case a professional coach on an App.

  38. This quote has been on my computer as a reminder.

    “I no longer listen to what people say, I just watch what they do. Behaviour never lies”.
    Wise words from Sir Winston Churchill.

    Very appropriate for this blog and it makes sense. This is something I have been clocking hence the blogs on this website called Hot Talk and True Actions or Empty Words.

    This walk the talk thing is about living what you are expressing, saying or presenting to another.

    We do not need to shout from the rooftops, make our point with ra ra or ram it down another’s throat, as the saying goes.

    We just need to be consistent with what comes out of our mouths or is typed via a screen actually holds a vibration – a quality that is not empty words.

    Classic example – we bang on to our kids about getting off the screen time and doing early bed yet our bedtime routine and rhythm is all over the place and never once has it been consistent even for a week.

    Next classic example – banging on to staff at work about the does and don’ts yet we are clearly not living examples in anyway.

    Is this why we have so many issues with staff relationships and those who are in positions of authority?

    Are the staff clocking the behaviour in and out of the workplace and so it leaves them at odds with what they hear when someone gives them the tasks of what to do?

    Next – our youth have given up as there are not any true real role models around.
    WHY is that?

    Could it be possible that if we apply master Churchill’s quote above and consider that these adolescents may be observing our every movement, which is our behaviour and because it never lies, bingo they do not listen, regardless of how much we lay down the law in our homes.

    Is this making sense?

  39. It is official – people are losing it and need a reality check.

    I felt a strong impulse to visit our local cafe today with my husband.

    We are known in our community as being strong and steady and many do come to us for our wise counsel, so to speak. Today was nothing new.

    We were approached first by the owner and the chef, who is also an owner.
    They were anxious and panicking as business has slowed down and they feel it’s the virus scare and they are probably right.

    The chef told me I was very strong and I knew my stuff when it comes to sharing what I know can work in a time like this. For example – not being silly but sensible would be a good start and that means not panic buying or listening to everyone and everything we read and hear as it may not be accurate, let alone true.

    Instead, using this time wisely to look at how we can build and support our immune system to a point where we have vitality levels without the need for stimulation and applying some good old fashion common sense stuff.

    Basic body care would mean some regular exercise, even simple walking is great.
    Really opting for the early bedtime and sticking to it consistently and weaning ourselves off the screen time would be of great benefit.
    Eating foods that are not out of a carton or box, but something we have made.
    Not fooling ourselves when it comes to alcohol, caffeine, sugar and junk foods.
    All this for starters would help our immune system and not trying to be rigid or perfect is important.

    This was my wisdom at the cafe and also to anyone who asks me as yesterday it was the dry cleaning shop. Yes we laugh but I get my point across when they say green tea is healthy and I say it’s got caffeine last time I checked the box.

    Common sense tells me caffeine is not going to support and build my immune system and if I need to know why and how then go the blog about caffeine on this website and read what it presents and then make the choice.

    Yes we have a virus and it is affecting most industries now but what can we do on the ground in a super sensible way and not ADD to the panic and reactions of the masses?

    Buying pasta and job lots of rice and alcohol, incase we have a shortage, may not be the real answer and deep down we do all know that.

  40. Learning to listen was something I was not good at. That was a long time ago.

    Thank God I say now, as we can learn so much when we just listen and allow another to talk.

    I seem to have really profound conversations with taxi drivers across the city and it usually starts with me asking how they are and where they come from as most are from overseas.

    I met one today who was born and raised in Afghanistan. I met another last week who was also from the same country.

    You would be blind freddy if you did not know what is going on out there right now.

    The media tells us a lot but I have often wondered what is the real truth here and is there more that we don’t know.

    Without getting into the ins and outs or having some kind of opinion, I just listen. Let them express whatever they want and it’s like they just need to say it and someone is willing to listen and that is all that is needed. Nothing more and nothing less.

    BOTH, yes both said the same. These were 2 strangers on different weeks and in different parts of the city. For me this meant that something they were saying was true because it made sense. They both said it is pure Corruption that is going on and what is underneath all this war and devastation.

    The hurt and sadness was all over them and understandably so when they shared their story. They had to leave their homeland and for them it was not a choice, as it meant leaving their parents and family to start a life elsewhere in the west as it was ‘safer’ for them.

    The guy today was well dressed and well spoken. He shared how his father, who was a judge and brother, a doctor, were arrested and put inside prison. After 1.5 years they were released and Dad had heart problems and died soon after.

    However, the time in prison made his father realise how unsafe it was and so he gave his son, (this man, the taxi driver who was age 16 at the time), the money to pay ‘agents’ and get out. He shared how money is the currency and anything is possible when it comes to crossing borders. It is big business and money does the talking. He went with his sister and her husband. They marry their cousins for those of us that don’t know this.

    They go to Pakistan, more money and they reach Russia. Pay more and they end up in Belgium and start a life. Everything because they paid money is given in the form of passports and other legal documents needed. After a decade there they move to England and settle there but never can they go back home. His mother, in her 80s, will never see her grandchildren and his brother stopped working as a doctor and lives in fear after 2 decades. They have servants who do their shopping and they are ‘prisoners in their own homes’ – his words.

    Both men shared that what hurts them the most is all those left behind suffering. That the divide between those who have money is growing and the poor are just left and not seen as equal human beings in any way.

    What I realised is how much we can learn and be aware of when we have the space to just listen to another and let them say whatever they want.

    What better space than a taxi ride in traffic not moving – an insight into what is going on in our world.

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