Dear World

Why on earth do we need to JUST TALK

What is the purpose when we JUST TALK

Are there any real benefits when we JUST TALK

How would our neighbourhood and communities benefit if we all JUST TALK when we needed to

How would life be if we all went around genuinely talking when we felt something in our Heart that needed communicating

What would happen if we JUST TALK what our heart feels in that moment

What would happen in our world if we all JUST TALK when we feel something to say

What if we don’t want to talk because life is easier

What if not talking makes another think what they want

What if zipping up our mouth ensures we rattle the other person

What if we actually get a kick out of not talking

What if there is an internal dialogue going on but we never say it through our mouth

What if by talking we make a huge difference but we are not aware of that

What if our old way of keeping the lid on our mouth is not needed, as the world needs our voice now

What if we stopped the blagging and the joking and JUST TALK from our heart with what we truly feel

What if each and everyone of us has something valid to say if we make a point to JUST TALK

What is it about us that can cut with our eyes when we choose not to talk

What is the message we want another to receive with our no talking business

What is it about us human beings that holds back when it comes to talking

What is this Sitting on the Fence business we do

What is this holding back style we have developed

What do our movements say when we deliberately go out of our way to not talk

What does not talking do inside us to our physiology

What hurt are we holding onto and can’t let go of that stops us from just talking

What would happen if we said what we truly feel, like kids do and JUST TALK

Why are we acting like what comes out of our mouth is not worth saying

Why are we having this incessant back and forth email exchange instead of picking up the phone and just talking

Why don’t we pick up the phone and JUST TALK instead of hiding behind messaging on Social Media

Why do we have this tendency to zip up when we know what we have to say is important

Why do we use the mute button with our mouth everyday

Why do some kids not say what they feel in the moment

Do these children grow up to not talk and express freely

Do we drive our partners nuts because we just don’t talk

Who are we getting back at when we give the “I am not talking, so get lost” sign

Who do we want to hurt with our not talking stubborn style

Have we struggled to express as a child and continued this into our adult life

Are we scared that the wrong thing will come out so we play it safe and not talk

Could we save ourselves a lot of time by just saying what needs to be said in the given moment


Do we really think just because we say nothing, it is not having any effect

Do we honestly believe that not speaking gets the message across

Do we use not talking as a weapon to get at others and it has worked for us so far

Do we know how it unsettles people when we give the silent treatment but we just continue as it suits us

Are we making a conscious choice to not speak because we know it will really make the other person angry

Are we choosing to shut up so the other person feels the hurt we are in

Are we struggling with saying what we want to say

Does the moment pass and we think it’s not worth talking

What if1 our part in the big plan is to say our bit and that gives another exactly what they need in that moment

What if2   we do a great service to humanity when we JUST TALK because we felt to do so

What if we behave like children and JUST TALK and not dilute, calculate, manipulate what we are going to say

What if we all JUST TALK and practice this everyday in real life and see what happens

What if JUST TALK is not rambling on and chewing someone’s ear off

What if JUST TALK gives another the space to listen to what we do have to say and it does matter

What if we JUST TALK to those we meet in our day and see what happens…

What if we JUST TALK to someone and find out we made a difference as they had no one to talk to

What if we started to understand ourselves and others more if we JUST TALK

What if the suppression of not talking is affecting our Heart

What if the pushing down what we really want to talk about is having a bigger impact than we realise

What if we JUST TALK by opening our mouth and see what comes out

What if others actually need what we have to say for their evolution and holding back serves no one

For the record – this blog is talking about Real Talk and not nonsense talk or hot talk

It would be wise to read our blogs on

Hot Talk
Real Talking

What would be the change to the state of our Mental Health if we JUST TALK

Finally – what would be the change in this world if we JUST TALK





Comments 10

  1. I know I have a habit of talking and JUST TALK is what I love and do very well.

    Sometimes I forget the knock on effect of what that means when just talking is genuine, sincere and holding integrity in the conversation.

    Meeting people for who they are without an agenda or giving a hoot about what they wear, how they look etc.,

    Today I went back to my local swimming pool after a 2 month break.

    The lifeguard came straight up to me on the poolside and hugged me. He is huge, mr gym muscles and full of tattoos. Not scary at all but unusual I feel for others watching what this was all about. I am tiny next to him and he said I looked really well and in great shape and where had I been?

    We talked about my mum dying and what happened and he shared about his life.

    All I know is his job is watching us swim up and down and that’s about it all day and everyday. Yes they have other peripheral jobs but not having real life talking to me would be a killer.

    I was blown away simply because I realised that all those months I had a connection with him and we did talk and when you disappear it is noticed and felt.

    I came away knowing that the way I live and the way I chose to connect with people, no matter who they are and what job title they have, it can leave a quality that another feels. This was living proof for me.

    Next – I had a great conversation with the manager on duty at the leisure centre who I know well. He said he was blown away with me sharing a small video of my mum.

    He said that he could feel from her just talking how much awareness she had and how amazing her expression was – his words.

    Next – I know so many who do the ‘silent treatment’ or the ‘nicey nice’ instead of just talk. In fact, this blog was inspired by those I know who continually and consistently keep their lips sealed when I know if they just talk things would be different.

    I have come to realise each and everyone has a part to play and we do actually need the person to just talk as it is probably exactly what we need for our own evolution.

    The fact is we cannot do it alone or with our mouth shut. Bit of a no brainer, but no doubt we will need science and a heap of research studies to tell us that one day in the future.

  2. Yesterday I experienced the benefits of just talking. I had been with friends all day working and they dropped me home. I realised that I had forgotten some items so went round to their house to collect them.

    It was great to go round and just talk about the day and our observations and feelings. It made me realise that there was no error in forgetting the items and that the talking part helped bring closure to the day so that we could all move on and help each other see and understand what was happening.

    How much do we try and work things on our own?

    Why do we bottle it all up inside when if we shared our thoughts and feelings with others it would help both them and us to grow?

    Talking is a great medicine and without it is possible that we are shutting others out and delaying our own evolution?

    Do we restrict ourselves from seeing a situation from another angle or viewpoint when we keep it all to ourselves?

    I used to be one who didn’t talk at all and I can really see now how I was missing out and value how much I have grown by opening up to others and just talking.

    I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today in my life without talking and the close relationships that have been built as a result. Yesterday was a clear example.

  3. I love just talking. There are so many things that I learn about life and what is going on for other people – in their homes and their workplaces that I would never be aware of if I was not open to talking.

    From whole families on anti-depressants to hearing about fraud, corruption and bribery in the workplace, to marital breakdown leaving people feeling devastated – through talking and connecting with people we get to understand more of what is going on for others.

    Have we considered – what stops us truly talking to another?

    Is it because we have hurts and so we have chosen to not let others in?

    Is it because we have decided that life is just about me, myself and I and getting ahead and in that there is no need to consider others as they just get in our way?

    Is it because we have stopped trusting because we might get hurt?

    Is it because we judge that others are better or less than us?

    What if there is something we can learn from everyone – no matter their ethnicity, age, race, or where they live?

    What if we all learn and grow together – if we stay open to what we can learn from others?

    What if there is a purpose to talking, which is not just about opening our mouths and saying whatever comes out, but that there is a healing potential possible for another, when we stay connected to our hearts and express from there?

    What if there is so much more that we can offer each other through talking, that we have not yet explored?

  4. Today was a great example of just talking instead of saying nothing, which is not my style.

    Launderette – an old man who looked quite anxious sitting alone waiting for the machine to do its cycle. I asked him a question and he said he does not speak english.

    It would be easy to leave it at that, walk away and mind my own business.

    Turns out he speaks my second language and he is on holiday here from India for a family wedding.

    He said he is delayed here as he lost his flight ticket with the airline suspended all flights saying they have no more money. Staff are unpaid for past few months.

    What was interesting was the timing of all of this, as I was on this particular airline flying back from India in January to visit my mother for the last time.

    We then talked about other things and what was clear was how open this man was and I saw this in India too with the many people I met. It was like an honesty and transparency that came with a genuine-ness.

    He said that he found many people in the UK having this syndrome called “I am something” and I knew what he meant. He felt that we did not have a unity or equalness among our fellow brothers and it was something he was not used to.

    His normal was what he experienced in the launderette with me.
    I helped him with whatever was needed to ensure he was not left worrying about this foreign place where we wash and dry our clothes.

    I met his relative who came to check if he was ok and she looked relieved that I could not only speak the language but was engaging with him and not just doing my own thing.

    We talked about a world in the future where supporting each other would be the norm and money would no longer be needed. Whatever we needed, it would be there and provided for us. There would be no greed as you walk in and get the food you need and nothing more, so no more excess. If you need your car fixed or have to see the doctor you just go and get that service, no payment. Then no one, regardless of occupation holds a better status in society.

    Most people would have thought it was a way out and whacky conversation but for me it was not out there, just a strong feeling that is the way humanity will one day be heading as our current creation is really not uniting us all as a one human race of beings.

    The current ills on this earth confirm that.

  5. In my local community I am known for my Just Talk way of operating.

    Over the years, there is one guy in a business who does not talk to anyone and he is judged because his behaviour does stick out and is very odd to say the least.

    We could say he lacks social skills or something like that.

    With zero eye contact, it is impossible to engage him and I accepted that over the past 5 years but nevertheless I stayed open to him. By that I mean I was not going to play the game of ignoring him as he has done so for a long time because I do not know his circumstances, life story or what the reasons are for his behaviour.

    Our paths cross all the time and I just happened to “bump” into him last week and he could not but look at me and I said hello and called his first name.

    Immediately he looked away. OK no big deal and I did not take it personally.

    Well yesterday, our paths crossed again – call it constellation and he was heading towards me. He looked at me and smiled and leaned his head and what I saw for the first time ever was a very sweet gentle man and not the hard, tense, guarded and protected man – in fact it was like a totally different person.

    Could it be possible that my Just Talk way of operating in this world can eventually break through anyone?

    I did not go looking or seeking to make this happen. It just did and to me I feel that there is a bigger purpose at play and I do not need to know the science but I just know it exists. This was no co-incidence as the timing was perfect.

    Had I not gone out at that time and crossed the road at that exact time, I would have missed that opportunity of him passing me.

    Who knows where this will lead to but all I know is something has just changed simply because of the Just Talk no matter what is in front of me way that I choose to Live.

  6. Well I like talking and I call it “Citizen Journalism” when I connect and engage with a stranger, who opens up and shares something that may be of interest, which it always is because it is real life stuff.

    Taxi driver today was telling me about his theory from lived experience of working as a Betting Shop Manager.

    He said it starts with a £10 bet for the grand national. The horse loses and the customer comes back and is angry that they lost money and they go all out to win that money back. They are not rational in their thinking or being sensible. It is about feeling cheated and they want to get back at the shop and “win” their money.

    This leads to more gambling and they win £30 and then lose £70. Or they win £50 and lose £30. All not making sense but they have a mindset that is focused on getting back their losses.

    Not once does anyone make money and never return, as the hook, the addiction makes them keep going even at the detriment of their family, finances, job and health.

    He talked about a super rich guy who ended up losing everything after placing £50,000 on a horse that lost and then another £100,000 to try and recoup his first loss and then it just escalated. He done a runner but Interpol found him as the debt he owed was large and that meant he had to be caught and he was.

    What I learnt talking to this man, is how gambling shops and online gambling are about profits, not people. However, they only exist because the demand is there.

    Drugs and gambling both have an effect on our brain and they give us something. Details will be in our Gambling blog on this website one day.

    For now, it would be a wise move to get talking about these topics and clocking the behaviour of those we know who are addicted to gambling.

    Society sees it as ok and something social but the betting shop manager in his 9 years experience said it was far far more insidious than any drug taking in his opinion.

  7. Talking in the supermarket yesterday to the cashier and her supervisor who was standing close by, we got onto the subject of security guards and how they are currently in short supply.

    How many of us want a job standing for 12 hours manning the long queues which come from social distancing – a sign of our current times?

    The supervisor goes on to tell me that was I aware of the level of abuse they have to put up with everyday and that it has become normal for shoppers to behave disgustingly to someone doing their job.

    Whilst this is the minority of customers, it does make me question WHY and HOW has it got to this point?

    WHY do we think we have a licence to vent our ill emotions towards another and for what reason?
    Of course it makes no sense but then so much of our behaviour is not currently making sense to most of us.

    Do we blame the current pandemic, lockdown or government rules and regulations?

    Do we blame anything and everything but never once look at what is actually going on for us inside?

    Before we next blow off to a complete stranger – would it be a wise move to stop and consider HOW we are living in our daily life that gives rise to such strong emotions that get out of control when we reach the supermarket line?

    And for any reader who is interested to understand more – read our stupendous presentation on this website called STOP SHOUTING AND SWEARING.

  8. On the bus yesterday morning, a man comes and sits at the back with the social distancing gap of 4 seats apart.

    My first thought was anyone that wants to sit in line with me will probably get talking. However, I noticed he was agitated and looked like he was on drugs – an easy assumption to make as the area I was in is known for drugs. He sat down and kept looking over and then the other way very quickly. No eye contact is what I clocked.

    Several miles later, I said to him that he looked exhausted and he opened up to tell me he was working throughout the night as a painter decorator as the job had a deadline. He told me that flats are big business now and people wanting to move more so now than ever.

    His plan was to go and get some breakfast and go to bed.

    We talked about the current restrictions and I asked him where his face mask was and he said that he only wears it if he is stopped or there are lots of crowds of people on public transport. He then tells me what his father had to say about the whole thing and it made sense so I told him his dad was a wise man and he should listen to him.

    We continued to talk about sleep and night work and exhaustion. This man came alive and was engaging in the conversation. He thanked me as I was leaving the bus and after I got off to walk to the next bus stop for a second bus, he waved from the moving bus. It was like I had known him and we were brothers or close friends.

    What I realise is that we just need to stop any judgements or thoughts in our head and feel if it is appropriate and say something. Holding back would have been a wrong move as I walked off feeling enriched if that is the word for connecting and having a real conversation with a so-called stranger on the bus.

    This just talk is something I do on a regular basis. It would be a crime for me to shut up and zip up my mouth out on the streets or on public transport, unless I felt a strong sense not to say anything.

    Expression for me in this way is important as we have no idea what is in front of us and how one conversation could possibly change how they could be for the rest of that day going forward.

  9. This type of stuff always goes unreported for most of us.

    We hear something, have a conversation, clock it and then move on. We may feel to share with another and that’s about it.

    I am making a conscious effort where possible to report – not to the Parenting Police or on social media making a noise but by way of comment on this website, because it really is a platform about human life and how we behave and what happens, as a result of our behaviour.

    On the bus, 2 older adults and 2 young children. The elders were very instructional and that made me sense they were the grandparents. Of course I get talking as that is my job. If I feel there is a window of opportunity I will open my mouth. Nothing new, just how I always behave.

    Found out they were on a day trip to the city and it was past midday, so we could say a late start for the day. The 4 year old was falling asleep and looked very tired.

    So I asked the grandmother did he have a late night and would he benefit from a nap as that is what he needed. I then expanded on that to say that kids tend to pull on sugar or get irritable when they are tired or just need to rest.

    The response was certainly not what I was expecting. “Yes he had a late night and Yes he will be able to stay up late as he is on school holiday. With us they do what we want and we hand them back next week.” I responded what about his daily routine and rhythm that he has back home.
    “Not our problem, but he will not be having a nap on the bus, we will make sure he stays awake.”

    Where does this agenda come from and how would their own child (the mother of these kids be feeling if she heard this conversation)? It could be that the parents don’t care and just see it as the holidays, so licence to ignore the daily routine. Plus they get a break so its ok even if things are not great when they arrive back home OR they could be working hard at getting the kids into a routine and rhythm that works.

    Question – where is the nurturing and care aspect for a 4 year old who did not want to talk but just closed his eyes and was told he cannot?

    Where did grandparents suddenly get the rights to do what they want because they can?

    Have we considered the knock on effect for this young child?

    YES – we all know kids like to stay up late but what if this is not supportive if we look at the bigger picture, so to speak.

    This conversation got me to reflect on something – I did have the thought of how odd it was that there were no other kids around on the bus or my travels, as most tend to leave in the morning for day trips.

    What if they all had a late night and so the young kids fit in with the retired couple, who let’s face it can do what they like and when they like and it really is none of our business, thank you very much.

    How many of us have ever considered that our lifestyle choices, our behaviour, our way of operation may just have an impact on those that we are responsible for and in this case very young children?

    Had I not bothered to JUST TALK and stuck my head in the screen or a newspaper, this blog comment would not be posted and it would be one less expression for this website.

    The main reason for the comment is to bring awareness of how serious it is when we are custodians of young children demanding that they behave the way we want and think it is just normal and ok, when it clearly is not.

    We currently have a global sleep epidemic that is off the scale.

    ALL this because I made the choice to JUST TALK.
    This blog bang on for this type of Citizen Journalism.

  10. Met a young man on the train going into the city centre. Early 20s, looked exhausted and he was playing video games. Most of us would call this ‘zoned out’. I told him to move his legs as he was blocking passengers from getting to seats as he was stretched out.

    Well, he just opened up and started talking and did not stop once until we literally departed at street level.

    Just talk works even with strangers, as deep down we do not have to be guarded and protected and go around like we are individuals and not inter-connected, when we can all sense we are one human family. Some may disagree and that’s ok. The point of this comment tells me that a young stranger gets talking in a way that he will not dismiss or forget the conversation we had.

    We talked about his lack of sleep, using video gaming just to stay awake and his main strategy to keep going for the day ahead was caffeine fuelled strong coffee and energy drinks together – a double combo of caffeine hitting the system to keep him alert. He said without it, he simply could not stay awake. The guy is 21, take note dear world.

    Next – his mother will not accept his choice of career and that is as a dancer. So he embarks on the ‘good asian son, no choice’ route and studies medicine to become a doctor. Told him I know this unspoken rule that is not negotiable in the Indian upbringing I grew up in. Doctor, dentist or lawyer and nothing else is even worthy of discussion. Everything else leaves your parents embarrassed and disappointed.

    I told him how old I was and he literally stumbled with his words. He could not comprehend that any human being, let alone an Asian woman could look and be like that.

    He asked me what I did and why I look alive and I shared laser style how I live and that there is no difference to how I speak to him, a friend, my dad, partner or a work colleague or write a comment – all the same.

    I asked him a simple question – why does society endorse that doctors are one of the most intelligent people on the planet, but there is a high rate of suicide among physicians?

    He was of course blank. I then asked if he is intelligent (because his mother and the world tells him as he studies medicine), then how come he has not worked out that drinking copious amounts of caffeine at his age will have consequences to his health and wellbeing. Another blank, mouth open moment of silence.

    There it is – Just talk and we never know what we leave another with in our conversation.
    As an elder walking this earth now, I have a duty and a responsibility to humanity to share what I live, without holding back, as I know it will for sure turn the tides on the meteoric rise in statistics, that we currently have when it comes to illness, disease and mental health problems.

    We walked together outside at street level and he asked where do I start and there was a huge huge sign on the ground and it said BE THE CHANGE. My message was – read that and start being what you want others to be. Live it in other words and they will get the reflection, even if you don’t open your mouth. Off he went with my business card tucked safely inside his wallet.

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