SSS – STOP Shouting and Swearing

The following article is taken from the Simple Living Global Back to Basics presentation called SSS.

What is all this shouting and swearing about?
WHY do we need to shout?
WHY do we swear in the first place?
WHY has shouting and swearing become so normal?
WHY do most of us ignore those who shout and swear?
WHY do we allow others to shout and swear at us?
WHY do we Accept shouting and swearing in our world?

Is it possible to change our ill ways of living once and for All?

Is there another way to live that puts an end to this shouting business?

Is it possible that a level of understanding is needed to knock out swearing?

Would it be true to say that swearing means we are not really going anywhere?

Would it be true to say that swearing just feels like a normal thing to do these days?

Would it be true to say that consistently shouting becomes a habit – a pattern?

Would it be true to say that we find we cannot stop ourselves from shouting?

Would it be true to say that stomping and shouting helps no one?

Would it be true to say that we have become masters at winding ourselves up?

Would it be true to say that our brain feels like it has been hijacked when we start venting with our shouting and swearing?

Would it be true to say that we all have stuff constantly going on in our heads?

Would it be true to say it feels like thoughts coming in fast taking over?

Would it be true to say it feels like ugly thoughts that are not really us?

Would it be true to say that we sometimes act on these thoughts that hurt us?

Would it be true to say that if anything hurts us then it actually hurts everyone?

Most of us at some point feel the tension and pressure of anything we have not dealt with like our –

Buried Emotions
Deep Hurts
Unexpressed stuff
Sitting on the fence not doing anything
All the “should have said this, should have said that”

ADD to that the possibility that we think nobody is bothering to truly listen to that.
ADD to that the fact that no one actually did take the time growing up to listen.
ADD to that all the things we wanted to say but never did as no one had the time.
ADD to that all the moments where we could have said something but held back.
ADD to that the hurts that we pretend do not really exist but we know are still there.

ADD to that the crap life we think we got dished out and we have never got over it.
ADD to that the perfect childhood but deep down we know that was not the case.
ADD to that the being nice and polite syndrome, when inside we feel a volcano.
ADD to that the fact our life to this point has been totally fake and phoney.
ADD to that the probability that we wear a mask that is not us every single day.

ADD to that the double life we juggle just to make things look good on the outside.
ADD to that the lying we do every single day because we feel the Truth is possible.
ADD to that the pressures of keeping up with all our ways to have a perfect life.
ADD to that the regrets and all that guilt that wakes up with us every morning.
ADD to that the stress of just existing in this world to keep going and keep up.

ADD to that the drive to have more and more, which leads to even more frustration.
ADD to that the anger we feel but have never got to the root of WHY.
ADD to that the resentment we hold towards the world and its brothers.
ADD to that the bitterness we feel about the life we have that others don’t.
ADD to that the rage we sometimes feel from a build-up of unspoken frustration.

ADD to that a time bomb deep inside us waiting to explode without warning us.
ADD to that non-stop crazy thoughts that are out of character goading us.
ADD to that a voice inside our head pushing us to do something we know is not really us.
ADD to that a force that makes us act out something that we sense is not Truth.
ADD to that our odd behaviour that makes us think we are having a mad moment.

What if we think we have found a solution to deal with our buried stuff?
What if we demand the attention of others and shouting is our way?
What if our body wants to explode from time to time to release this pressure?

What if shouting comes from a feeling that no one is listening?
What if shouting is our only way of expressing to the world?
What if we think shouting somehow means we will get heard?
What if shouting was something we grew up with so just normal?
What if shouting disturbs our true natural state of being?

What if swearing takes the edge off for just one moment?
What if we think we have a right to swear as our life sucks?
What if we like swearing as we notice others pay attention to us?
What if swearing is what everyone does so we join the bandwagon?

What if swearing makes us sound cool with our mates but we hate it?
What if others swearing puts us off but at the same time we do it?
What if we always feel our body jump when others are swearing?
What if we dismiss those who are swearing like they have lost the plot?

What if we know little about the real truth of why we swear in the first place?
What if we don’t have real role models who simply do not need to swear?
What if the END of shouting means a more settled and steady body?

Dear World

Could it be possible that swearing and shouting means –

Our blood pressure rises?
Our blood needs to pump faster?
Our heart is under pressure?
Our breathing is out of sync?
Our nervous system starts to race?
Our brain can no longer think clearly?
Our body starts to harden?
Our jaw starts to tighten?
Our head starts to thump?
Our body feels unsettled?
Our organs are no longer in harmony?
Our body starts to shut down?
Our natural state is disturbed?
Our movements have changed?
Our balance is not steady?

What if there were people walking the Earth today who have knocked out shouting and swearing from their system?

What if there were people who understand deeply what shouting does to the human body and can present another way of living?

What if these people are the ones who hold the answers because they have gone from serial swearing to no swearing?

What if there is Another Way?
Could it be that Simple?

The author of this blog is living proof that it is possible to knock out this shouting and swearing business once and for All.

After attending a Universal Medicine Presentation by Serge Benhayon – a man who knows what he is talking about, it was the END of Shouting and Swearing.

With the understanding of WHY the need is there in the first place to shout and how to knock out this nonsense, things changed fast.

Having a deep understanding WHY we have a build up inside us of unexpressed emotions that want to explode in the form of swearing made simple sense.

Developing a true connection with our body with the Universal Medicine Gentle Breath Meditation. (1)

Learning how to stop and pause.
Clocking what just happened.
Asking Questions so we can get to the Truth.
Building a Foundation that supports our body.
Developing a daily rhythm that is all about Expression.
Finally, Living this without the need for perfection.



Deal with the deep hurts, the daily frustrations feeling like the gall bladder was about to explode into rage, the hidden anger, the ugly bitterness, the resentment and the deep sadness and grief of the life that was my own ill choices.

Above all END THE BLAME game.

BINGO – THE END of shouting and swearing because it is ok to make Mistakes.

It comes from making new choices that support us in daily life.
Bringing life Back to Basics and that means Simple Living.
Changing our Priority in life.
Getting real and getting honest.
No longer making Lying normal.

This inspiration was first lived and then shared by way of presentation with a handout that goes into the detail of HOW we can live a life without the need for shouting and swearing.

It simply works because we have gone to the root cause and dealt with it. This means that it can no longer be a part of our living way.
In other words, we are free from the ill vibration of shouting and swearing.


(1) Benhayon, S. The Gentle Breath Meditation. Universal Medicine. Retrieved July 23, 2017 from





Comments 32

  1. I have worked in jobs where swearing is considered normal, and have joined into that way of talking.

    I am recognizing that I went along with swearing so I would fit in.

    It does not feel ok, when I swear. That is the truth.

    No more overriding what I feel is true.

    1. Very interesting to read this, Ken. There are so many environments where swearing is the norm so it would be easier to fit in if you also swear. I know I have done that or sworn to present a particular image.

      I remember a friend at uni who used to swear when he was thinking instead of saying ‘erm’. It was a habit he said he’d picked up in the army.

      I have read about moves to outlaw swearing in the workplace in certain countries, usually in the context of anti-bullying efforts. For example this in New Zealand:–swearing-at-work-a-nogo

      It makes sense that a reduction in swearing would lead to a less aggressive working environment.

  2. Many people have told me that venting anger or emotions is needed…

    I had one counselor who would buy china dishes from lawn sales and smash them in her basement and others recommend hitting a punching bag but…

    … is it possible that this does not change anything?

    I find that venting, being vented at or being in the presence of one who is venting (swearing or yelling) feels terrible in my body and there is always more behind it like there is an endless supply…

    …So is it possible that when we consider swearing and yelling to be normal or acceptable we are just giving ourselves or others ‘permission’ to vent without taking the responsibility to STOP & FEEL and communicate about it if needed so we can bring understanding to what is bothering us?

    Simple Living Global has shown me that when I simply honour what I’m feeling and look at what I am reacting to, I am able to let go of the emotions that make me feel bad or sick or stuck; then I am more free to just be who I am.

    There are Universal Laws; one can be shown in the phrase “what goes around comes around”.

    If what we ‘put out’ comes back, are we magnifying our symptoms by expressing in reaction, instead of getting to what caused it?

    Can we consider that what is needed is truth-full-ness to break this cycle?

    Could truth-fullness be the key to break any unwanted cycle that is disharmonious?

  3. “What if swearing takes the edge off for just one moment?”

    This has been exactly my experience of swearing, both for myself and those around me.

    Just yesterday my husband hit his head and bang, out came a swear word. I know for myself that is a much easier reaction than (1) feeling how much it actually hurt (2) pausing to clock why it happened, which for me would usually have been not taking enough care of my movements.

    For me, swearing would always have been an outlet for what was running through me and a cover up for what was really going on. I’m finding the more care I take of myself the less I want or need either.

  4. I haven’t shouted or used swearing much in my life but when I did things never felt complete and I felt sick afterwards as actually it felt like an assault on my body, and an assault on others. If I did swear it was like taking the top off to vent something, but I never dealt with what was at the root of that so the issue came up again and again, until I dealt with it.

    What I have come to realise through the inspiration of Serge Benhayon is that I have a responsibility in every part of my life – and if something doesn’t feel right, I now look at my part in that, which stops me from going into blaming others or getting into rage or frustration about others.

  5. Swearing is a way of avoiding taking responsibility for what happened. Avoiding looking at the message the incident was presenting to us.

    If we react to a situation then there is something there for us, that we do not want to see or feel. The reaction [swearing] is a way of not feeling what is really going on.

    So if we swear and can catch ourselves in the reaction, it can be an opportunity to deal with an issue or hurt.

    This process can be as easy as nominating the situation, really wanting to know the truth, and feeling in our body what is there to feel.

    Simple Living Global has supported me to remember this natural process with Skype sessions.
    It has helped me deal with many emotional issues, which has totally changed my life.

    I am 66 years old and feel like I am starting a new life.

  6. This blog explains alot! Thank you Simple Living Global.

    There has been a news story bounding around in the UK this last week about a man screaming at someone saying ‘Get ready to die’ in what is described as a fit of road rage.

    However it has also been revealed that this man is a fan of nature and practices mindfullness so ordinarily we would think that this guy would be cool, calm and collected.

    So what happened for him to lose it?

    In my experience being blissed out on meditation practice such as mindfullness is not the answer. All that happens is our stuff gets buried – so all of the emotions don’t actually go anywhere but are pushed down – so we can present a nice image to the world.

    Most certainly the first step in me being real and not pretending has been to use the Universal Medicine Gentle Breath Meditation to connect to me and my body rather than escape and deny what I am feeling. As a result I now have very few angry outbursts as I deal with the underlying sadness that the anger was covering.

  7. I’ve not been a shouter and very very occasionally swore, still had the pent up feeling inside but just held it in. I didn’t want to let it out as I could feel the intensity of it. From the presentations of Serge Benhayon I learnt that holding it in, being silent, was just as harmful to the body and everyone else as shouting and swearing, the energy was still the same. I learnt to deal with what was behind those feelings/emotions, learned to express what I was feeling without emotion and changed how I was reacting to life, taking responsibility for my choices and not giving myself a hard time about it.

    It is a great feeling not to have all those pent up emotions inside and to express what I am feeling instead, I can feel how this keeps a harmonious balance in my body and how I am in everyday life, with no perfection, so now if I feel a twinge of annoyance or irritation I feel it loud and clear and can do something about it by seeing it for what it is and expressing.

    The Universal Medicine Gentle Breath Meditation has really helped me.

  8. I’m reading this blog and wondering if all our swearing and shouting has contributed to the ‘threat culture’ we are seeing online.

    We all know cyber trolling is widespread and on the rise. And it is apparently now commonplace for our politicians to suffer serious threats as a result of their work – 85 are now under police protection.

    Something is not right here.

    Do we all need a dose of SSS?

    What impact would it have on these trends if we all went on an SSS programme?

  9. ‘What if we think shouting at somehow means we will get heard?’
    Interesting as I find that when someone is shouting, I find it more difficult to hear them, apart from the volume there is such a force coming with it.
    When two people or more are shouting can anything be really heard at all?

  10. Shouting and swearing just shuts down any possibility of true communication or connection.

    When I was a child I feel like I totally contracted when someone shouted at me. That I had done something wrong.

    In order to make any true changes in our world it is critical that we communicate well. That requires a level of respect for another person.

    With support from Simple Living Global I have been dealing with my issues. Because of this I am able to observe and understand what is happening and not react. This allows me to make a better response to the situation. No more SSS for me!

  11. I never really exploded in shouting but did have pent up emotions held in my body, backed up so making me ill. Looking at why helped my to understand that it was because I was not expressing what I felt. From doing the Universal Medicine Gentle Breath Meditation this supported me, over time, to be with and stay with my body learning express from what I felt. This meant the had conversations and arguments I had running over and over in my mind reduced and reduced as I expressed what was there to be expressed. I am not fluent with this yet but I express a whole lot more now and when I don’t I can just acknowledge it for what it is, express if there is the opportunity or learn from it, nominate it, let it go and move on.

  12. It looks like mums are far from immune on the swearing and shouting front.

    The papers report advertisers want to stop their adverts appearing next to posts from venting mums on mum-support-networks – and those swearing posts are prolific.

    I have seen that as a new mum – the fatigue and the tension building up inside.

    I wonder what a difference a big dose of the medicine in this blog would make to those mums:

    Learning how to stop and pause.
    Clocking what just happened.
    Asking Questions so we can get to the Truth.
    Building a Foundation that supports our body.
    Developing a daily rhythm that is all about Expression.
    Finally, Living this without the need for perfection…

    Deal with the deep hurts, the daily frustrations feeling like the gall bladder was about to explode into rage, the hidden anger, the ugly bitterness, the resentment and the deep sadness and grief of the life that was my own ill choices.

  13. Top blog Simple Living Global, on a subject that definitely needs more understanding.

    Swearing seems to be such a normal part of our lives.

    Why is that?

    Why do we use swear words to say want we want or how we feel?

    Take the ‘F’ word for example:
    How is it that one word can say so much without saying anything?

    We say F*** when we are angry.
    We say F*** when we hurt ourselves.
    We say F*** when we are sad.
    We say F*** when we are happy.
    We say F*** when we do or see something amazing.
    We say F*** when we are being friendly.
    We say F*** when we are surprised
    We say F*** when we get good news.
    We say F*** when we are frustrated.
    We say F*** when we want to exaggerate things.
    We say F*** when we are shocked.
    And the list goes on…

    I used to be the above list but not anymore. Since gaining an understanding from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I now know how harmful it is to use swear words instead of expressing, in full, how I truly feel.

    I very rarely swear these days but if I do, firstly, I know it is a build-up of ‘stuff’ that I haven’t expressed in full and secondly, it actually hurts my body if I swear now.

    It also has an effect on me when other people swear and although it shouldn’t necessarily have a different affect, when women swear, it feels even more harmful.

    So, going back to my first question of ‘why does swearing seem to be a normal part of our lives’?

    Is it because we are just too lazy to express in full?
    Is it because, as a race of beings, we haven’t expressed our truth for so long, we have forgotten how to truly express?

  14. An article in the ‘Metro’ newspaper, 3rd November 2017, gives a review on a new restaurant that has a swear word in its title.

    It talks about the strange “hotchpotch of anything goes flavours” which I assume lends to the title of the restaurant.

    The first sentence of this article says, ”What a noble tradition swearing is – there’s nothing quite like letting rip with a few profanities and imprecations.”

    Most people will swear to express when they are angry, sad, annoyed, frustrated or any other negative feeling and there are some who swear to express positive feelings as well.

    How is it possible that swearing can be seen as a ‘noble tradition’?

    Is it possible that swearing is just a way of expressing an emotion without truly expressing that emotion?

    Is it possible this article would have been better served if it was asking the question of why someone would have a swear word in the name of their restaurant?

  15. Metro News – 20 December 2017

    Rochdale town planned to fine people £100 for swearing but this plan has now been dropped. Critics have said it breached human rights.

    After reading this blog, using our common sense and putting our understanding hat on – WHY would anyone want to swear in the first place?

    As a serial swearing person in public in the past, I thought it was cool and got me noticed and it was worse with alcohol.

    I can honestly say I no longer swear and it has been over a decade.

    I am not looking for an award and I am not saying we need to fine the public, as that task would be impossible in reality.

    What I am saying is that to stop swearing, I needed an understanding that made sense.

    What if this Simple Living Global article is talking sense and has wisdom that can be applied?
    What if the author does know what they are talking about?
    What if the answers are here for all of us, if we choose?

    Imagine a world one day where no one even knows what swearing is.

  16. A small queue at airport customs and the guys behind me were swearing profusely about it.

    They were still swearing as we exited.

    You could tell they were getting off on the swearing. Bringing in as many different profane words as possible. Playing off one another. Making sure people around them heard.

    I have done my fair share of swearing in the past and it is interesting to see the patterns playing out in others – seeing what may be fuelling it for them.

    I wonder how they would feel reading this blog – what understanding it might bring them, as it has for me.

  17. A man on the train yesterday having a row on the phone with his partner.

    The train wasn’t so busy and everyone was politely pretending it wasn’t happening – giving him space.

    Then he swore. You could feel the whole thing shift.

    His tension increased, his body position got more angled, his voice got harder and tighter. The argument went downhill fast. The floodgates opened to more swearing.

    The people in the carriage got tense and started to get annoyed. Where there had been understanding before, now there was none. The argument became an imposition on everyone.

    The destructive power of swearing for all to see.

  18. Shouting & Swearing to me makes my body feel ill and out of body experience. When I swear on occasion and say it out of anger, I always question where I left myself or react to say that. Growing up it was normal to hear my dad swear a lot in Gujarati and for him it was normal in conversation with family & friends. He also talked very loudly as if shouting but he was not shouting just normally speaking. This as a child made me shut down a lot because I just didn’t like all the noise and bad words.

    The crazy thing is that I’m a parent now and have shouted towards my boys regarding one thing or another and have come to realize how it may make them feel if I myself do not like my body vibration.
    I have learned to choose a different way of communication with them. However, it continues to be a work in progress!

    It’s amazing that swearing has become the norm around all situations.

  19. I have never really been one to swear, but most definitely I have shouted. When I hear anyone shout or swear it actually disturbs me, as it has a jarring feeling.

    I know that when I have shouted, it has been out of frustration – either feeling not listened to or allowing pent up feelings over a situation that I cannot control being expressed in the shout. However if I was honest in my communication by saying ‘I don’t feel listened to’ or if I accepted situations, rather than trying to control them, I feel that the need to shout would not have been there.

    I have never felt good when I have shouted, so I doubt that others are left feeling good afterwards either.

    What if NOT swearing and shouting are good medicine, not just for us but others too?

  20. Friends concluded over lunch yesterday that swearing is way more prevalent now than when they were growing up.

    Back then, you would be severely disciplined if you swore and certainly if you swore at someone, and this happened very rarely. It was seen as extreme behaviour.

    The observation was that swearing has become normalised, to the point that it is now not seen as a big deal. And that swear words are used in conversation, not just in arguments.

    There was a reflection on why this would be. Why have we accepted this increase? How did it come about?

    And what it is actually like when we swear or hear swearing, regardless of whether it is common or not?

  21. Walking behind a young girl the other day, talking on a mobile phone. She must have been about 10 years old.

    It was like she was acting for TV. She was talking exuberantly and swearing liberally. The phone was obviously getting passed around on the other end and she greeted each new person with a dose of ‘friendly’ swearing.

    She went to cross the road at a pedestrian crossing and turned to swear at the car that had slowed for her.

    It was clear the conversation she was having bled into that interaction – her momentum of swearing instinctively came out with the stranger in the car.

    So I am asking myself, where did she pick up these behaviours? Why has this become her way of being?

    And do we see the knock on effect?

  22. Waiting to cross the road today next to 2 young women.

    They had harsh haircuts and heaps of tattoos and piercings and looked pretty tough. One of them saw a gap in the traffic and decided to dash across on red. It was a close call with the cars.

    The other shouted the C-word after her.

    The crossing light went green and the one who had shouted and I crossed together. When we got to the other side, she let out a tirade of swearing and name-calling. At the end of it, I heard her say she had been “sh!t-scared” the car would hit her friend and she was angry with her for that.

    It was a good reminder of what is really going on with swearing – of what is happening underneath to the person.

    It feels that swearing is always a cover up of something deeper.

  23. Talking to a local barber this weekend, he was sharing how he has branded his business in direct contrast to the ‘middle England’ area in which he has his salons.

    He has a kind of rock brand going on. All black and white and aggressive looking.

    He says the locals love how he swears as they so rarely get such raw-ness in their own lives, which he says are full of children and politeness and office jobs.

    He says people are full of emotion and they get angry and they can’t let it out and it sits there under the surface.

    So they come to his place and he swears and talks about real life and they love it.

    His place is packed. They certainly want something he is selling.

  24. There’s a phenomenon at the moment with my kids and their friends, to say words that sound like swear words, but are not quite swear words.

    They get as close as they can rhyming the words. Or they start the word and then change the last letter.

    Once they start they find it hard to stop.

    It is like the sound gives them something.

    Like one taste of it feeds into more.

  25. Walking into a cafe this week to see a woman shouting at the waitress.

    The outburst was about having to repeat herself when the waitress had not understood her.

    The woman felt my presence and started apologising and saying how she didn’t mean any offence.

    The waitress was shaken and upset. She put on a brave face. You could see it had affected her deeply.

    Watching this play out made me question again why we think it is ok to shout at each other.

    And why is it infuriating to repeat ourselves when someone doesn’t hear or understand us?

    Why do we jump to blame?

    Are we living so tightly wound that we have little compassion for others?

    Would this happen if we were settled and connected within ourselves?

  26. Yesterday I was verbally attacked for being a witness to an accident involving a car and a bike.

    The driver turned to road rage and entered a tirade of swearing and shouting.

    This behaviour came easily for him. Lashing out, aggressive.

    You could feel the force of his words, particularly the swear words. You could see the fury coming through.

    Interestingly, you could also see the impact it was having on him. The more he shouted, the more worked up he got; his movements becoming more and more erratic: stimulated.

    The person he had hit just wanted to get home and did not have the appetite to stand firm in the face of the abuse.

    It made me reflect on how shouting and swearing affect our wider society. How they keep people in mistrust and tension. And this affects all of us.

  27. – 31st October 2019

    How Swearing at the Gym Could Improve Your Workout.

    Researchers have found that swearing increases pain tolerance and triggers an adrenaline response and, in turn, is highly beneficial for exercise and physical tasks.

    The F-word is probably one of the most universally applicable words in the English language and has the power to communicate many emotions.

    In a test conducted at Keele University, volunteers were told to submerge their hand into ice water for as long as they could withstand. In the first trial, volunteers chose their favourite swearword and repeated it aloud until they removed their hand from the tub of water. In the second trial, swear words were replaced with common adjectives that would describe household items.

    To the researchers surprise, the swear words were more effective at increasing pain tolerance.

    A Dr on the trial said: “We know from our earlier research that swearing makes people more able to tolerate pain. A possible reason for this is that it stimulates the body’s sympathetic nervous system. That’s the system that makes your heart pound when you are in danger.”

    In other tests where they engaged the participant in short but intense exercises, swearing was found to increase the effectiveness of the workout.

    Researchers came to the conclusion that obscene language improved participants’ strength and performance. However, they also discovered that while the swearing increased the physical power exerted, there was no significant increase in the participants’ heart rates.

    One potential theory is swearing was developed as a tool to withstand pain by triggering the “fight or flight” response.

    The fight or flight response describes the flood of hormones from the amygdala part of the brain triggered by stressful situations. This response results in a sudden release of adrenaline and cortisol hormones. When this occurs muscles tense up, digestion slows and blood flow is sent to vital organs to increase performance.

    Also known as the human distress signal, the amygdala sends signals to the adrenal glands, boosting adrenaline – known as the hormone epinephrine. This wave of adrenaline has a handy perk: The body’s ability to register pain is impeded.

    According to a psychology professor, increasing your workout performance isn’t the only benefit to swearing and explains that there are also social advantages linked to potty-mouth behaviour.

    She says: “Swearing can serve to show that we are not a fragmented member of a society. That’s why cursing/swearing among friends can make you feel slightly better when it’s coupled with a sense of validation from others. The trick is to make sure it isn’t excessive and that your swearing is not coupled up with anger, or another extreme negative emotion, as that can be very detrimental to your overall wellbeing and to others near you.”

    Dropping the F-word around your mates indicates a willingness to be open and candid with one another and has shown to improve relationships as we appear more “real” and trustworthy.

    Is it possible that the opposite is true and swearing actually makes us LESS real because we are not expressing in full what we need to express?

    When we look at the F-word in social settings, how is it possible that one word can convey so many emotions?

    We use the F-word when we are angry, happy, sad, frustrated, delighted, surprised, scared, and many more.

    Taking away the ‘social’ element of swearing, is it possible that the reason we swear is simply an outpouring of built up emotions that we haven’t expressed and then it comes out in one big lump of frustration or anger?

    For me, I know that this happens because I haven’t expressed what I needed to express in the moment and just kept it bottled up inside of me until something triggers it.

    Whether or not swearing does increase our workout is surely irrelevant. If we get to the point that we have to swear to push ourselves that bit harder (the ‘no pain no gain’ attitude), is it possible that we have already gone past the point where our bodies are telling us that enough is enough?

  28. Last week I challenged a woman at the poolside who kicked me as she was swimming backwards and was unaware.

    I would have left it possibly if it was just once, but she was so off track that I had to dodge her a few times.

    Her response was denial and with that was aggression. I could see and feel this person was very angry. She told me that had she knocked me, I would know about it as she would knock my head off and with this tone came a huge force that I could literally feel pushing in my whole chest area.

    In my usual steady response, I told her she was very angry and continued to swim and clocking what had just happened and how strong the force was coming at me from her.

    As I was leaving, she was shouting to get my attention.

    She wanted to let me know that she was deeply sorry for her behaviour earlier and I told her that her behaviour was disgusting and unacceptable. I added that as a veteran of this pool, I have never ever come across anyone behave as she did because that was and is the Truth.

    Why I feel to write a comment on this blog is how many of us stand up to another when we know they have done something harmfull?

    We generally have this thing where we get annoyed or react in some way but never go to face it head on and actually express what we are feeling.

    I just knew that in that instance, I was not going to let someone get away with what I would call abusive behaviour and as long as I was steady and could observe what was going on and not back down or get scared, then I was equipped to voice what was needed in that moment.

    I had no attachment to what she was thinking or what her next move was going to be.
    Not being invested in the outcome led to something most of us would call a miracle – someone apologising soon after saying they would knock your head off and they meant it.

    The point I am making is each of us can choose to live in a way that is not harmfull and when another does something that we feel is way out of line, we have the authority to do something and bring a Stop.

    This is Power as we have no idea how long this woman was carrying and expressing her anger but she sure got to stop, as a stranger told her in a way that it hit home that her behaviour was not the Truth.

  29. Most people by now know that we have a global pandemic.

    How we choose to behave during these times is up to us, but there comes a point where we need to question things and not just accept what is thrown at us.

    On this note, I was talking to the cashier at the local express supermarket. These places are like mini supermarkets but open longer hours, even during lockdown season.

    I asked her how she feels with that mask over her mouth and nose. Her response was that she feels ‘gagged and suffocated’ and takes it down to her neck as often as she can, as it affects her breathing.

    I told her I understand, because I feel the same and it would be impossible for me to wear one for a long time as it is un-natural and not something I can do.

    She then added that customers hurl abuse and shout and swear at her for taking her mask down behind the till – which for the record has a large screen up.

    What she initially did was accept the abuse but not anymore. She said she realised this cannot continue and tells them they should try working all day, very long hours, wearing gloves that itch her hands and a mask that alters her breathing. She also tells them “you are lucky we are still open and working here to serve you”.

    I left her with my take which was people have a lot of time on their hands right now and are being forced to stay indoors. This in itself would bring up stuff as we are not used to adjusting our lifestyles and for some this could mean anger, frustration or other emotions and if we do not know how to express and deal with them, chances are the supermarket cashier gets the lashing, so to speak.

    What I realised was had I not gone inside this shop, I would not have known this or even been able to report it by way of comment on this website.

    This is what I call Citizen Journalism and it is so needed.

    How else can we report the real life stuff if we are not out engaging with others in our community?

  30. BBC News – 10 June 2021

    People are swearing more in their everday life, according to new research.

    One third of people in the UK are using strong swear words than 5 years ago.

    Parents are swearing more and want to protect their children “for as long as possible” from swearing.

    65% of parents say while they might swear among their own friends, they would avoid it if they thought their children, up to the age of 16 could hear.

    There was also anxiety among parents about how much swearing could be “normalised” in the online video content available to young people.

    The context also made a difference. Parents were more worried if swearing was used in an aggressive or violent way, with a particular concern if it was used in terms of sexual violence.

    60% saw strong swearing, such as the F-word, as part of everyday life.

    There was a significant ‘generational divide’ with age 18 to 34 most likely to swear and be “desensitised” to its impact.

    75% of the older population – age 65 + say that they would not use strong swearing in public.

    Those were the highlights of this research study.

    Some of us may have worked it out without the evidence, as we hear it and see it on our screens. Some of us experience this or are at the receiving end, or give it out in our homes, our workplace, on our streets, in our neighbouhood, communities and beyond.

    Let’s get real – swearing is normal just like lying is normal.

    What has changed is the force behind the swearing. In other words, the reference to “strong language, stronger swearing’ simply means we no longer want to say a silly word or something that does not have the full throttle, the impact of our intention, so we go more and more extreme.

    If we as a world become immune to this with our behaviour by ignoring it, not stopping it and joining the bandwagon or pretending we are ok, when we clearly are not, this is how it escalates. This is not a diagnosis or a hypothesis to study in the future. This is simply a common sense statement coming from the author of this blog, who at one point was known as a ‘serial swearer’.

    What brings about real change is getting to the root cause of WHY we need to use swearing as part of our expression – our communication.

    What if we just start with the simple question – what is it that we did not express, hold back and not communicate that leads to the build up and gets us to vent, off load and push out the force, that then gives us a momentary relief? Not going there and not dealing with it means the relief ain’t gonna last, it comes back but next round, it is even more loaded. Trust that this is making sense and if not, re-read the blog and this comment and ponder on the questions presented for starters.

    If we are to be real role models for our children and the younger generations, then let’s start with us – the so-called responsible adults. That way we can reflect there is another way to live, swear free.

    We can blame media but let’s be honest, who gave them the air time? We did and we subscribe to it and want to have different standards to suit us.

    How on earth can we compart-mentalise our life – in other words, swear with our mates but out of ear shot from the kids? Really?

    We forget this is one life and every single thing, like this or not is inter-connected. This means we each have a huge responsibility to get our act together, so to speak and make the necessary changes, instead of finding solutions to continue with our ill behaviour that actually affects all of us.

  31. Whilst at work I was within earshot of two drivers talking about an incident that had happened that day.

    The incident in question was a lorry that had partially blocked the road and was just sitting there.

    The ‘conversation’ that took place was simply a swearword infested tirade about how the driver of this lorry was a F’ing C, and a F’ing W and a F’ing T.

    It seemed like they were trying to outdo each other with the number of times they could say the ‘F’ word followed by the ‘C’ word.

    On top of that their ‘conversation’ just got louder and louder as if each of their position on this matter was more important than the other’s.

    The louder they got I could see the more worked up they were getting, and I could feel that they were just feeding off each other.

    One of the drivers concerned is known to be rather volatile and, of course, he was the loudest of the two. Even after the other driver had left him, he was still swearing and rambling on with no-one around him.

    In a workplace like mine, there is always a lot of banter with swear words bandied around but this was more than banter.

    This was more like rage and fury being vented.

    It was interesting to observe the dynamics between these two drivers of how at first it started as a moan about the badly parked lorry and turned into a full-blown rage fest the more they fed each other.

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