Here we go again – another date in the calendar telling us the old year is over and the New Year has started.
WHY is it that we don’t feel so great at the end of another year?
WHY do we feel like we are going around in circles?
In other words, we have been there before and it all feels same same.
WHY do we put pressure on ourselves to achieve even more than last year?
WHY do we demand more from our body and expect it to perform even more?
WHY are our stress levels higher than ever during ‘happy holidays’?
WHY have we got a pattern that feels comfortable doing all the festive things?
WHY are the fireworks and all night party not really worth the hangover feeling?
WHY are some of us spending the first day of this year exhausted in bed?
WHY are so many people sick at this time of year?
WHY are GP surgeries and hospital A&E’s so busy during this party season? (1)
WHY does our bank account at this time of year not make us feel settled?WHY are we wishing we had no credit cards to pay off?
WHY is this weather making us book a holiday?
WHY are diet books the best sellers at the beginning of the New Year?WHY are we looking for extreme exercise and diets as nothing is cutting it?
WHY are we so busy with our New Year ‘to do’ lists?
WHY do the New Year sales drive us to buy even more?
WHY are our old patterns of behaviour still with us in the New Year?WHY are we just not able to get rid of our ill choices because it’s a New Year?
WHY do we give up our New Year’s Resolutions so fast?
The BIG question is has anything actually changed?
What are our goals for 2017?
How big is our New Year’s Resolutions list this time?
How realistic is our list?
How were we feeling when we started this list?
Is it the same stuff as last year’s list?
How honest are we about making them work?
How committed are we to life in general – in all areas?
Is this whole thing a game for us?
Who is having the laugh here?
Are we just setting ourselves up to fail?
Are we thinking that big achievements are the passport to happiness?
Are we competing in any way or in comparison with others?
Are we doing things to prove something to others?
Are we pretending to take action with our New Year ‘to do’ list?
Are we simply doing what everyone else is up to so we fit in?
Do you wish this New Year nonsense would go away?
Have we ever stopped and considered –
Is a New Year the time to reflect on the past year?
Do we hope that the New Year will not be as bad as our past year?
Do we want a better year as last year was not good?
Do we pretend things are going to be great this year but we are not prepared to make any changes?
Do we think things are going to really change if we do not commit to making changes?
Have we asked – If last year was crap, what exactly are we celebrating?
As a past party goer and big into the festive season, I did not understand why I felt so low, bored and empty after the New Year thing was over. The New Year was well under way and I was feeling like giving up.
The thought of freezing cold weather and a new gym membership was enough to send me on my favourite hobby – shopping with my champagne lifestyle and lemonade money.
The goal was to buy any bargain and feel the high and up the mood-ometer so I could feel that false sense of ‘happy’.
At no point did I even consider whether the garment would fit this body or if the colour was something I actually liked.
Twixtmas – that name for the time between Christmas and New Year was spent in a state of anxiousness to find the perfect outfit for New Year’s Eve and bang on about all the things on my New Year’s Resolutions list that were simply unattainable.
Not once did anything work or last more than a few days.
It was the same old stuff repeated every year with no effort on my part to make any changes to my lifestyle.
Example – Top of the New Year Resolutions list was Stop Spending.
That lasted a few hours as I was plotting and planning in twixtmas what shopping centre to visit and where to eat. Eating was a hobby that was not going away. I was addicted to fancy restaurants with my lemonade budget.
Next – Lose Weight. I would check out the latest diets whilst eating a piece of cake or the big huge chocolate bars you can buy at Christmas time.
Next – Exercise. Running might work but I knew my chest and knees hurt so that was a non-starter. Gym, yoga, pilates, spinning classes all thoughts passing through my mind but no action taken whatsoever in over 30 years.
Next – make an effort to sort out all those ugly difficult relationships, including family. Effort made = make sure I avoid people especially difficult relationships.
Next – Clutter Clear. Get the garage de-cluttered, sort out the hoarding in all rooms, stop looking for a bigger house to put more clutter in. Action plan worked and things starting going out of the house. However, the shopping addiction continued so new stuff would be back inside but there would be more and this meant another house move. This went on for 25 years.
Then a ding dong moment – HELLO
What if New Year Resolutions don’t actually work?
What if nothing changes inside us, just because it is a date on the calendar?
What if how we live and the choices we make on a daily basis will bring about real change?
What if our commitment to making sensible choices every day brings lasting change?
What if taking small steps and making choices that support our body helps?
What if we take RESPONSIBILITY for the choices we make in every moment?
What if we grow up and take accountability for all our choices?
What if we stopped blaming the world, the system, the politicians, the neighbour, the job, the relationship and anything else for our ill choices?
What if we stopped using a date on the calendar as an excuse and just got on with life?
What if real change comes when we commit to every area of our life?
What if we started asking the WHY questions every day, like –
WHY do we need coffee first thing in the morning?
WHY does bread and cake always make us feel bloated?
WHY do we eat so much chocolate?
WHY are we on social media 6 times a day?
WHY has our sleep quality gone from bad to worse?
WHY do we feel anxious most of the time?
WHY is our confidence not consistent?
WHY are we struggling being someone we are not?
WHY are we busy trying to please others?
WHY do we think it is important to put the kids or our partners before our own needs?
WHY do we never stop and find the time and space to ask the WHY questions?
WHY is our world so geared up to make sure we never stop?
WHY do we have a tendency to avoid our true feelings?
WHY do we run from life like it is a dis-ease?
WHY do we never see our body as precious like we do a tiny baby?
Could it be possible that we do not have to wait for a date on the calendar to make changes?
Could it be possible that if we take true Responsibility for the choices we are making every day, this will give us the life we really want?
Could it be possible that there is another way to live?
Could it be possible that simple lifestyle changes can support us?
Could it be possible that we no longer need to subscribe to complication?
Could it be possible that the next app and next diet are not going to deliver all the answers we are seeking?
(1) Donnelly, L. (2016, December 30). ‘Selfish’ Partygoers Getting ‘Blotto’ are Putting Intolerable Strain on NHS, says it’s boss. Retrieved January 1, 2017 from
(2) Harris, E. (2015, December 12). Money Worries Top New Survey of 2015 Holiday Season Stresses. Retrieved December 31, 2016 from http://www.forbes.com/sites/elizabethharris/2015/12/12/money-worries-top-new-survey-of-2015-holiday-season-stresses/#56bce0c31988
(3) Issy. (2014, January 15). Have You Ditched Your New Year Resolution Yet? Retrieved December 31, 2016 from
(4) Cavanagh, B., Ibrahim, S., Roscoe, A., Harriet, B., While, D., Windfuhr, K., Appleby, L., & Kapur, N. (2016). The Timing of the General Population and Patient Suicide in England, 1997 – 2012. Journal of Affective Disorders. Volume 197, pages 175-181. doi: 10.1016/j.jad.2016.02.055. Retrieved December 31, 2016 from