Perfect Life

WHY do we want the Perfect Life?
WHY do we dream about a Perfect Life?
WHY are we seeking the Perfect Life?
WHY do we need a Perfect Life?

WHY do we want the –

Perfect Picture?
Perfect Body?
Perfect Hairstyle?
Perfect House?
Perfect Kids?
Perfect Education?
Perfect Results?
Perfect Job?
Perfect Partner?
Perfect Marriage?
Perfect Family?
Perfect Friends?
Perfect Holiday?
Perfect Health?
Perfect Clothes?
Perfect Dinner?
Perfect Christmas?
Perfect Party?
Perfect Social Life?

WHY do we want goals that are not real?

WHY do we yearn for things that are not sustainable?

WHY do we want ambitions that are not attainable?

WHY do we keep striving for more and more?

WHY are we obsessed with having the Perfect Life?

WHY are we driving our body to get the Perfect Life?

WHY do we think that the Perfect Life takes away our problems?

WHY is it that when we get there, it is not perfect and we are not content?

Could it be possible that our mind changes the goal so we never reach perfection?

Could it be possible that there is no such thing as the perfect life?

Could it be possible that we are designed to be human and not perfect?

Could it be possible that in Truth there is no one in this world who has a perfect life, wife or all the things we want and don’t have?

Could it be possible that wanting or needing to be Perfect in any area of our life is going to lead to failure as it really is a goal we can never get to?

So what exactly is Perfect?

Let’s check our reliable Concise Oxford English Dictionary (1)

Having all the required elements, qualities or characteristics.
Free from any flaw; faultless.
Complete, Absolute.

Google and you get a few more words like –
Exact, Precisely Accurate, Free from any defect in condition or quality.

Consider the pressure on our human body trying to live with precise and exact qualities with no flaws.

Consider the drive needed to live faultless and free from any defect.

HELLO – Bit of a tall order or what?

Can we stop and press the pause button here?
Do we need a reality check?
Who can actually live up to any of this?
Who is setting the marker?
Who on earth has this in their lives?

If we do know someone that we think has the Perfect Life, then have we studied them 24/7 for 10 years?

If not, then how can we say they have a ‘perfect life’?

Do we really truly know them and are we fully aware of all the choices they are making in every single moment?

A great example is a superstar celebrity who has all the trimmings that we think is perfect and that includes fame, fortune and the perfect private life to match.

But do we truly know them?
Do we know them personally?
Do we know how they are choosing to live every day?
Do we know about their childhood?
Do we know if they are living a see through life?

Where did we get the information from telling us they have a Perfect Life?

Are we being absolutely honest when we say they have the Perfect Life?

How does it support us if we have the media airbrushing and we pretend that these people are real and we do what it takes to get the same Perfect Life? See Link
http://www.trueactivist.com/before-after-images-of-celebs-reveal-societys-unrealistic-standards-of-beauty/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=TMU&utm_campaign=before+after+images+of+celebs+reveal+societys+unrealistic+standards+of+beauty

Could it be possible that we try and copy with a mindset that believes we can be the same?

Could it be possible that we follow the diet or lifestyle that this famous celebrity is living?

What effect is this airbrushing having on our kids who maybe far from ‘perfect’?

Airbrushing and Retouching is now rife on social media platforms.

Traditional teenage pressure to look slim has been dramatically accentuated by the growth of social media and intense pressure from online bullying.
9 out of 10 girls in some schools are doctoring their pictures to appear thinner.
Dr. Pippa Hugo – Consultant Psychiatrist, London Priory Hospital (2)

It would be more unusual for them to upload a completely undoctored picture to Instagram. This is an “open secret” as everyone does it but no-one admits to it.
Isabelle Whiteley – Photographer & Researcher of That’s What She Said Project (3)

Doctors are concerned that this “selfie” culture is fuelling an increase in eating disorders. (2)

Think about it with our common sense hat on – there is pressure to conform and not stand out like the odd one out so our teenage girls go along with it.

Who for?
What for?
WHY?

It would be common sense to say this way of living is not natural, so of course it is going to have an effect on their breathing and what they choose to eat or not eat.
Add to this that the majority of who they hang out with are all doing it, so it becomes the norm instead of abnormal.

How serious is it when there are mobile phone manufacturers today who have beauty settings so we can ‘automatically’ airbrush our selfies?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BG9O5qPTJs4/?hl=en

We do not need any rocket science education here to work out how many are possibly using this to make themselves look like what they think the world wants.

Next –

Have we heard of Imposter Syndrome? (4)
Is this something that Perfectionism brings, like an undercurrent where we feel a fraud as we know it is not really us?

Next –

Girlguiding UK have reported that 25% of 7 to 10 year old girls felt the need to be perfect. (5)

Hello Again

Can we just stop and re-read this and ask WHY is this at such a young age now?
What is the world saying to them?
How is their daily life contributing to this?
Do the parents have a Responsibility here?
Does the schooling have a hand in this?
Are we blaming the media for this rise?
Is the Internet now the culprit?

WHY is Perfectionism linked to anxiety and depression? (5)

This is serious stuff as we now go into mental health, which statistics are telling us is rising out of control.

Could it be possible that our body goes into a state of anxiousness when it is not living a real life that is true?

Could it be possible that wanting Perfectionism is not realistic and deep down we know this and so it leads to us giving up on life?

Could it be possible that we give up on life as we are not committed to life?

Could it be possible that we are exhausted because of how we choose to live and this is the start of our depression?

Could it be possible that we have a picture of what the Perfect Life is and our real life is far from it and that makes us depressed?

Could it be possible that we are busy trying to be something we are not and that is what makes us anxious?

Could it be possible that we are not equipped to deal with our daily life stuff because we are exhausted and this leads to anxiety and depression?

Could it be possible that the choices we are making every day are contributing to the anxiety we feel but we can’t seem to find a way out?

Could it be possible that by doing what others do in their quest for a perfect life, this keeps us the same, so we don’t stand out as different?

WHY do we blame Society for giving us expectations about beauty?
Who is Society?
Who makes Society?
WHY does Society supply us with what we want?
What are we demanding from Society to deliver?

Do we stop and consider that each of us contributes to what we call Society?
Do we think that we may just have a hand in what Society is telling us?
Could it be possible that we as individuals are subscribing to the Perfect Life and so Society supplies us the Perfect Lifestyle choices to help us achieve this?

Could it be possible that we lose sense of reality when we try and be like another?

Could it be possible that this way of wanting another person’s life is not attainable?

Could it be possible that we seek the perfect life of another to avoid living our own life because we don’t like the choices we keep making?

Could it be possible that something is missing in our own life and so we seek to live another person’s life that we think is perfect?

Could it be possible that we cannot sustain this other way and so we give up?

Could it be possible that this ‘perfect life’ we see in another is far from perfect but we choose not to see the whole and just focus on the parts that suit the picture of ‘perfect’ in our mind?

Dear World

WHY do we want the Perfect Life of another person but never look at the daily choices we are making that have given us the life we now have?

Have we as a society given up on our lives so we fantasise about the Perfect Life?

Do we find life a struggle so we choose to buy a lottery ticket as the ‘perfect’ answer to all our problems?

Could it be possible that we have given up on the real value of life?

Could it be possible that we crave the perfect life on the outside because something is missing on the inside?

Could it be possible that we seek perfection to hide the agony and misery of what is really going on in our everyday life?

In other words, we are not deeply connected to the very essence of who we are and in that gap we are constantly wanting and needing more of what this world has to offer.

Could it be possible that we are not on earth to be perfect?
Could it be possible that we are here to be real?

Could it be possible that if we started to focus on the everyday Back to Basics stuff like sleeping, walking, cooking to truly take care of ourselves, we may begin to feel more connected and content inside?

Could it be possible that the Back to Basics way of Simple Living is teaching us what life really is about so we don’t lose the plot?

Could it be possible that if we let go of the images, pictures, ideals and beliefs that we hold about the Perfect Life, we can give ourselves permission to make real choices that support us with our true health and well-being?

Are we ready to stop paying attention to the world outside of us, which tells us there is a Perfect Life?

Are we ready to listen and take note that the world inside us is what really counts as our particles come from a much grander place than we may realise?

Could it be possible that we are on this earth to learn lessons about life so that we can evolve?

Just in case you have not noticed our world is in a mess and we are all doing what it takes to cope and exist to get through our days. Not once do we stop and ask the WHY questions.

Our world is far from perfect. Our confirmation of this comes from the rise in illness and disease, ill mental health, crime rates escalating and wars going on in every country.

We as the most intelligent species on earth are no-where on the perfect scale.

Is it time we changed our focus?

Would it be wise to look at our priority in life and be real and honest about how we are living and the choices we are making every day?

Would it be wise to build a foundation that is truly supporting us consistently to live a self-connecting life?

Could it be possible that if we let go of our agenda to have the Perfect Life, we may get to enjoy a real life that has meaning and purpose?

Possible?

References

(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011

(2) Bingham, J. (2015, September 19). Nine out of Ten Teenage Girls Digitally Enhance Their Own Facebook Pictures, Claim. Retrieved December 9, 2016 from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/11875084/Nine-out-of-10-teenage-girls-digitally-enhance-their-own-Facebook-pictures-claim.html

(3) Cosslett, R.L. (2016, September 8). Thinner, Smoother, Better: In the Era of Retouching, That’s What Girls Have to Be. Retrieved December 9, 2016 from https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/08/thinner-retouching-girls-image-manipulation-women

(4) Cohen, C. (2015, November 16). Imposter Syndrome: Why Do So Many Women Feel Like Frauds? Retrieved December 9, 2016 from
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/work/imposter-syndrome-why-do-so-many-women-feel-like-frauds/

(5) Marsh, S., & Guardian Readers. (2016, October 14). The Pressure of Perfection: 5 Women Tell Their Stories. Retrieved December 8, 2016 from
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/oct/14/perfect-girls-five-women-stories-mental-health?CMP=oth_b-aplnews_d-2

 

 

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Comments 71

  1. Yes, the perfect life is just another distraction to avoid the responsibility of living a true life of our own. When I was in school I was listening to all the guidance people that I thought knew what they were talking about. I did this so I did not have to take responsibility for my own life. When I figured out that school was not the answer, I worked hard to be successful in the world, but I had no idea what success was. When I collapsed from exhaustion at 50 years old, I finally asked for some real truth.

    I found Simple Living Global and it has supported me to understand that I was looking outside of myself for answers and with simple techniques helped me re- connect to myself.

    Now I understand that the perfect life is my life and I have all I need to live it, inside of me. And there is amazing support available if you really want to take responsibility for your life.

    1. Great point you make about school Ken and how we blindly listen and follow the guidance of others who we ‘think’ know more than us or are somehow equipped to advise us on whats best for us.
      Your story about trying to be successful in the world could relate to many of us and how wrong we are if our body is showing us exhaustion.
      So true what you say about the perfect life is to know and understand that everything we need is already inside of us. We just need to connect to that inner most place inside us and bingo things will change.
      Yes there is ‘amazing support available’ if we start to take true RESPONSIBILITY for our life. We are both living proof of that fact.

  2. I like your comment Ken Elmer, especially
    ‘I found Simple Living Global and it has supported me to understand that I was looking outside of myself for answers and with simple techniques helped me re-connect to myself’

    What a blessing it is to have Simple Living Global here presenting very real and practical and simple ways to live that enable us to accept and appreciate who we are and what we have. When I started to accept myself it felt so freeing and I noticed that I spent less and could pay off my debts as I was not hankering after more or what I thought I had to have to be somebody. The more that we are able to connect to who we are on the inside, the more that we can accept ourselves and each other just as we are.

    1. Who would guess that we could start paying off our debts by living in a way that is simple and practical which gives us the ability to accept and appreciate ‘who we are and what we have’ as you say Shevon.
      The outside stuff tends to take less priority because how we feel on the inside becomes our new focus. This means we will value life differently and imagine more of us living in this way? The knock on effect is huge as it does support our true health and well being to live in this way that is not harming self, others or our environment. No perfection of course, just real living with a commitment and consistency that speaks volumes if we stick with it.

  3. I never thought I had the “perfectionism” thing… but I did and do! I have recognized that I hold onto my “mistakes”, dwelling on what “could/should have been” instead of accepting what is or has happened, learning from it and going forward differently.

    I also have discovered that I have loads of “pictures” (my ideas of ‘perfect’ or ‘should be”) which I hold up against real life and this always causes me to feel hurt.

    I am learning to be more open, real and honest about myself, life and all that happens. I am learning to catch the pictures and see them for what they are; un-realistic ideals and beliefs which cause me to react and hurt myself.

    I am learning that I can let go and enjoy what is unfolding without trying to control it or judge it for not coming out a certain way and this is a totally different way to live…

    When I let go of living with perfectionism I am able to learn from and appreciate what is happening now.

    When I choose to be open instead of “trying to live up to a picture” I am able to simply appreciate myself and people in my life more, I am able to live life as it truly is and this feels really truly good.

    Thank you Simple Living Global for calling it how it is so we can get real and move on.

    1. Yes Jo it is time we got real so we can truly move on.
      You have added more to this blog by expanding on your own lived experience so thank you. Holding on to mistakes because of the perfect picture you hold in your mind is going to lead to more hurt and what an ugly way to live.
      We give our kids endless opportunities and when they make mistakes we just say they are learning. Well why do we stop at our children?
      What about us adults?
      Are we not forever learning on this earth school?
      Are we not here to learn and keep evolving?
      It is high time we knocked out the images, ideals, beliefs and pictures that we have about anything and everything as this is what feeds us the nonsense about who we need to be and the goal post just keeps moving as it is never static. WHY?
      Simple really, it is not the Truth so it will keep moving. Truth is solid and firm and not all over the place.

      1. ‘Are we not forever learning on this earth school?’ YES YES! Just learning every day. It’s amazing how dearly we hold on to our mistakes and the negative stuff, like a stick to quietly beat ourselves. So awesome to be reminded of the chances and patience we give to kids. What a gift to give ourselves the same.

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          Author

          Interesting what you say here Jenifer about how we seem to hold on to our mistakes and the negative stuff. For some reason this is what dominates our thoughts and out goes appreciation or even bothering to stop and think it may just be a lesson in earth school as that was life is all about.
          So WHY is it that we give patience and time to our kids to learn and keep learning when they make mistakes but there is no allowing or room for an ounce of time and patience towards ourself?
          Sounds crazy and way off but it seems to be the ‘norm’. It is high time we gave a dose of the same wisdom and common sense so we can truly knock out this nonsense behaviour that harms us all.

          1. At some point, we stop seeing ourselves as the glorious little child, but on some level, that little child is still right there inside as adults. I watched a toddler walking on her toes the other day, delicate and sweet, pottering around, and it reminded me that I was like that once. The thought actually did something to my body – it softened and opened up and I tuned into that delicateness in me too. Gorgeous really and certainly deserving of more appreciation.

  4. Your last paragraph really stood out for me. I grew up in a household where everything had to be Perfect. This transferred to me from a very young age and I spent my life persuing the perfect job, relationships the list was endless. The result I ended up with chronic exhaustion amongst other things and Yes it is Exhausting trying to persue in my eyes a LIE. We are fed so many images through the media, people around us etc we create our own image of what our Life should be instead of living our life as you say in real time. Society critiques you endlessly if you don’t have Children, a high flying job and don’t own a house etc. Is this Real Life No it is Not. This is still a work in progress for me but what I do know life is not perfect and neither is me and that is Ok.

    1. Great comment Priscilla sharing real life stuff. Yes we are fed images by the outside world and the media have they part to play but could it be because we are not taught from a young age to connect to who we truly are and then look outside and see what the world is saying?
      Could it be possible that we each make up society so we cannot really point the finger or blame but have an understanding that if we know different or have a person or organisation reflecting another way, we can be inspired to change?
      You are right there is something said if you have no kids, a top job or own your own property but who subscribes to this and why is what we should all be asking.
      I have come to realise that we don’t usually KNOW the full story of how someone is childless, not earning big bucks in a top job or renting their home. There are reasons and they may be deep rooted and so its high time we accepted others for the choices they have made and are choosing to make. Our own individual responsibility is to get on with our own life in the knowing that it can inspire others if we are truly committed to life and live a life of consistency. On that note there will be blogs about commitment to life and consistency coming out next year.

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      Author

      Yes indeed Priscilla – it would be exhausting for anyone to live up to something that is not real life, possible or achievable and yet we seem to hanker after stuff that is way off the mark for some reason.
      Who really cares what job title we have or home ownership or whether we got the perfect family with 2 kids and a dog.
      As the author of this blog, I have no home ownership to speak of, definitely no high flying job or income to match, not a homeowner because of my past choices and yet I have no exhaustion to speak of and this is confirmed by the vitality levels I have everyday.
      It is possible to live a way that is not neglecting our precious body and making our focus and priority to connect our inner most so that the ‘outer’ stuff becomes secondary. This way of living requires no perfection so it is not draining and has nothing has a hold over you, if you get what I mean.

  5. Priscilla what a post! ‘Society critiques you endlessly…’ – so true and we enjoin it by critiquing too, right? It’s exhausting just thinking about it like that: like an insidious form of abuse. Thank you for sharing, because it is a reminder we are all having the same experience and we don’t like it but there aren’t many presenting a different way. Really motivating to let go of this stuff, knowing others are working on it too. Like Neo taking the reality ‘red pill’ in the Matrix!

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      Author

      Correct Jenifer – there simply are not many presenting a different way to live and be in this world. WHY?
      Our world is geared up and offering us endless ways to ensure we do not live a simple BACK TO BASICS life and the media does its bit to fuel it further because we demand it and they supply it. There is no judgement or blame just saying it as it is.
      Nothing out there is going to allow you to breathe your own breath and be the real you. Then we get scared and run for the hills, sit on the fence, keep up with what is going on and try and fit in and all because we don’t want to stand out.
      Add perfect to all of that and you got a recipe that is going to keep moving the goal post and making sure you have anxiety and tension inside your body.
      Maybe high time we changed our Recipe for Life. Blog out soon..

  6. If we don’t ask questions then nothing will change and these blogs are asking.

    …So, a huge appreciation to the author for calling out the truth by questioning what does not feel right and to all those, here and around the world, who care and dare to question and start honest & meaningful conversations.

    If asking questions is the big first step to change…
    then the question is ‘will we dig-deep and care enough to want change and ask real questions… or do we keep digging our heels in trying to make life work the way we have been…?’

  7. Many people look to the USA as a perfect place to live. I have lived there for 65 years and I am questioning that belief.
    In the 1960s in the USA it was all about buying all the labor saving devices, so you did not have to work so hard. Then you could go on vacation and do lots of fun things, and have a perfect life. The problem was that in order to pay for all this, you had to work more. So you were working more and more to get this wonderful life but you were too exhausted to enjoy it. This is the mentality that has been driving the US economy ever since.

    The momentum of this drive is massive. It has pushed the US into the world power that it is today.

    But I question this concept that that the US is heading in the right direction. I believe our quality of life is going down. The national debt is increasing every year. Illness and disease are increasing. People are generally worse off in my opinion.

    The US has accomplished many wonderful things, we have incredible resources to get things done. I believe it is time to change our priorities and to get together and to say no to all the things that are not working. We can not blame our government, we have created what we have by our individual choices, we can change things by making more responsibly choices in our own lives.

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      A grand comment indeed from you Ken as an elderly citizen of the United States of America. This perfect life called the american dream is what most seem to want but your comment is speaking volumes and presenting more for the reader to ponder on.
      You talk about the momentum of drive that has been created by us and we cannot blame the government, media, manufacturers or retailers.
      We could all agree that this ‘want more’ society we have created pushes us to work more in order to get more for the ‘perfect life’ we want.
      So what about QUALITY – what is the quality of life and does your opinion actually make sense Ken? Reading the statistics on some of the blogs on this website would confirm that not only have we, as a world lost the plot but we live a generally poor quality of life that allows no space for true meaning and purpose.
      To summarise – your last sentence is offering another way. How about we start taking RESPONSIBILITY and making choices that support our true health and well being without any need for a perfect life.

  8. From experience trying to make things perfect is very exhausting, physically, mentally and when things do go out of the perfect picture boundaries – emotionally exhausting from the reaction of things not going the way I wanted them to be. Accepting my imperfections and imperfect moments however doesn’t drain me if I look at them as something to learn from.

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      It would be great Leigh if we did come to realise that trying to have this perfect image in our mind about this or that is simply exhausting as you say.
      The reaction that comes from not achieving the goal or when things ‘go out of the perfect picture boundaries’ adds to the exhaustion.
      Acceptance is key here but how on earth do we start walking on the road of acceptance in the knowing, that we are here to learn?
      This website is presenting another way and there is much already to study and our commitment is to continue with weekly blogs so humanity is left in no doubt that we can all live without exhaustion in our body, which is draining our life force and perfect is not on the radar ever.

  9. Post
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    The word that sticks out is ACCEPTANCE. What if there is something about us that cannot ACCEPT who we truly are and so we are the ones choosing to play this perfect life game? Could it be possible that playing the perfect game keeps us entertained in our minds at the expense of our body that is showing us signs of dis-harmony within?

  10. We are fed so many images Priscilla, I agree and when we get really honest with ourselves what is true for us is often very different to the perfect picture. Let me share an example. Growing up and into my early thirties I had a strong desire to have children, it was a given in my mind, that I would meet the perfect man, go to university, be in a high flying job as a fashion buyer and be a Mum. Now at age 38 I have not ticked the boxes with any of these being single, without children, leaving university after my first year and not getting a degree and not working in a high flying job and to be honest I have no desire for any of them now and feel content with my life just as it is. The biggest picture smasher was in my choice to not have children and realising that I have choice and that I don’t have to. With that realisation I felt years of pressure and restriction just leave me and ever since I have been slowly building a relationship with myself, getting to understand and know who I am as a woman which is nothing like the picture perfect image of who I thought I had to be.

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      Thank you Shevon Simon for spelling it out here in detail about your age, your honest real life picture of what is happening and not ticking the boxes.
      What sticks out is the bit about ‘biggest picture smasher’ being not having children. This would be a big one for many women as it comes with so many ideals and beliefs that add pressure and tension to our body.
      How many of us can openly say that we are building a relationship with ourself and that is enough and we are not seeking anything more to make us feel complete and whole.
      Getting to understand and develop a true relationship with our self takes time and space and that word RESPONSIBILITY has to be in there.

  11. “Everybody wants to be the perfect person but that has broadened out to being smart as well as [attractive] and that’s added more pressure.
    Not only do you have to look really nice and put on loads of make-up but you’ve also got to study.
    Half the time we’re expected to be children and accept what our elders say, and then make these choices that are going to affect the rest of our lives.
    We’re on the precipice and we don’t know where we stand.”

    This quote was taken from the BBC website, said by an 18 year old female
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-710ceafb-a26b-4a6c-9698-94800bb739f9

    This further confirms the enormous pressure that our young people are under to be a certain way, to fit a certain picture which really stops them from just being who they are. The more that we each accept ourselves as we are, the more freedom this gives others to do the same.

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      Great points you make here Shevon to have the looks, the brain and everything else to fit the perfect picture of what we think the world wants.
      Also that we are expected to listen to the elders even when we are grown up adults and then wonder why we feel we don’t quite know where we stand.
      The link is one of many teenagers feeling the pressures of social media which has changed the goal post for the word perfect.
      Each of us has a RESPONSIBILITY to be who we truly are and we can start by simply being honest about what is not working in our life.

  12. I remember a few years ago when Simple Living Global shared with me about the ‘take-two’. I hated that phrase so much! Because the strive to be perfect and get things done right without going back to it and moving on was so strong. But when we are imperfect saying ‘oops’ or ‘take-two’ it is a great reminder that we never leave anything behind and can repeat if necessary knowing what we know from the last time around. Nothing is ever final or left behind never to return.

  13. Dear Simple Living Global, these blogs in themselves would make a great study book for each and every one of us – taking each topic e.g. perfection, or care, or more more more, or Karma and being curious about it, and using each topic and the questions in each blog as questions to reflect upon as we go about our daily lives.

    1. This is making sense what you are saying here Jane Keep. Blogs like this one and others on this website would make a great study book and many businesses, individuals, government departments and our healthcare systems would benefit.

      It would certainly bring in another dimension to that word RESPONSIBILITY.

  14. Simple Living Global – you have hit the nail on the head here with this question (and so many more in this blog) “Could it be possible that our mind changes the goal so we never reach perfection?” I have experienced this, it is like chasing your own tail – you never reach it yet you go around and around in circles.

    1. Great that you have answered this particular ‘could it be possible’ question Jane.
      Chasing your tail and getting nowhere, other than adding a bit more frustration and stress every time the mind changes is not a natural way to live. In fact it feels very harmfull and it is high time we moved away from trying or attempting the perfect life stuff.
      It alters our perception of ourself and everyone and everything in our world. It distorts the truth and plays havoc with our minds. What is the point and what on earth is the purpose as it certainly does not evolve us?

  15. Perfectionism is insidious in that it is rarely if ever questioned as being a source of anything other than good. As this incredible expose shows, perfectionism is causing us enormous problems coping with life in a world where, ironically, we can never be perfect. It sets us up for a fail, yet most of us keep seeking it. It is so often revealed that those who appear to have a perfect life, are actually living in misery far more than we could ever guess if just judging by appearances.

    1. Great point here Felicity when you say that Perfect sets us up to fail and yet most of us keep seeking it. WHY is this not making any sense?
      We do not live with someone 24/7 and have no clue about their past choices or even current choices they are making on a day to day basis. We do not know how transparent they are living and yet we somehow see them as perfect and yearn for their perfect life.
      If we stop and take a reality check and look at our life and it is far from our dream perfect life, it can make us feel depressed as the gap is so huge we feel overwhelmed.
      But what if being real, taking stock and living a true life where we choose to connect to who we truly are and express from that everyday, things could change?

  16. Its so true that even when we meet our criteria for a’ perfect life’ we soon find its not ‘perfect’ there is a lack of content, because we constantly seek other ways to find ‘perfection’, we invent more needs, we decide life cant just be what it is, we have to control it in some way and get more from it. I have often seen single women lament their single status and seek the right man, they find ‘the man’, yet lasting happiness eludes them even when he is ‘perfect’ and ticks all the boxes. I know PhD students who are convinced they will be so happy when the PhD is complete, yet invariably the happiness land they imagined is pushed aside in search of new goals, the thirst for fulfilment in unquenchable when we don’t know how to just be, and appreciate how awesome everything really is around us. We need to stop seeking for things to be different to what they are or imagine we will ever get off the treadmill of wanting endlessly more out of life, in the absence of a connection with ourselves first and foremost. This is the game changer, when we value how we are with ourselves first, and use this as our true guide to life, where we don’t ever need to be perfect, but we do need to be real, honest and prepared to admit not only that we don’t have all the answers, but don’t need to have all the answers either, just connect to ourselves and allow life to unfold for us.

  17. What a top comment Felicity and this in itself is a game changer.
    Your words are powerful and worth listing again for any reader to feel and know that change is possible and its not hard work. Just simply a choice.
    What you say here in this list makes sense and is worth re-reading:
    Invent more needs
    Decide life can’t just be what it is
    Ticking all the boxes yet happiness eludes them
    Got the PhD then in search of new goals
    Thirst for fulfilment is unquenchable
    Just don’t know how to Be and Appreciate
    On the treadmill wanting endlessly more out of life
    In the absence of connection with ourselves first and foremost
    Value how we are with ourselves first as true guide to Life
    No need to be perfect
    Need to be real and honest
    Be prepared to admit we don’t have all the answers

  18. Thank you Simple Living Global. Perfection takes a lot of striving, push and force to obtain something that is never reachable, it is draining, exhausting and supports lack of self worth and can lead to illness. Connection is a choice and I have found with commitment and consistency a foundation is built with which a growing inner steadiness is there, a joy in daily life and being me … mistakes and all. Such a shift from how it used to be where I did strive for perfection which came from the need to be in control, which came from fear and lack of trust … from my lack of connection . What if we put the focus on Connection that we put on perfection, what a different world this would be.

    1. Post
      Author

      Great point you make here Ruth about Perfection ‘supports lack of self worth’ and this can make you ill. This makes sense.
      That striving and pushing and forcing is un-natural and so it will be draining to our body and the mind is constantly going for that thing that is as you say ‘unreachable’.
      It is high time we all let go of the need to have that word perfect in our life because in truth we are not designed to be perfect.
      What is the point of going after something that is simply an illusion.

  19. Or the perfect parents, partner etc. I’m realising that REAL is not PERFECT and the pictures of what good looks like are really harming. They impose ideals of how things should be and then when reality doesn’t measure up we get disappointed, frustrated etc. But the world doesn’t owe us, our parents don’t owe us, our partner doesn’t owe us and they certainly aren’t responsible for delivering the pictures of perfect inside our heads. The sooner we drop the pictures of how they should be, the sooner we can accept reality and go forward from there. I recently had an interaction with a family member and they reacted to the truth I was presenting. I was initially wobbly about it, feeling sad that they couldn’t see what I could see, but it passed quickly as I realised: (1) what I said needed to be said, holding back to not ‘rock the boat’ in that moment was not an option (2) it’s their choice how they respond, I am not lessened by their reaction. A small but big step as I pop these perfection bubbles that only exist in my head.

    1. Post
      Author

      Real is most certainly nothing to do with that word Perfect.
      You make a great point here Jenifer about how the world, our parents or partners do not owe us anything and are not responsible for ‘delivering the pictures of perfect inside our heads’. It is high time we take responsibility to let go and knock out all the images, pictures and ideals and beliefs that we have inside our minds about this perfect stuff. It is a killer and as this blog is saying it keeps moving so we never ever get there.
      These ‘perfection bubbles’ as you say only exist in our head and they cause us maximum stress, anxiety and all other kinds of emotions so why bother to entertain these nonsense thoughts.

  20. “Could it be possible that we lose sense of reality when we try and be like another?” What a great question. It’s kind of ridiculous to think that everyone is comparing with everyone else; everyone trying to be like the other so then who is the REAL one, who is the ORIGINAL, who is TRUE? Err, noone if we are all copying something. We are all the same in many ways, but we are also gloriously different and if we can learn to see that and celebrate it then maybe we can stop trying so hard to fit in or fit a picture. It’s like that track ‘would the real Slim Shady please stand up’: time to stand up for REAL.

  21. Are yes the perfect life – I fell into that trap for many years, I had this belief that everybody had the best life and I was missing out. Never happy always striving for more thinking the grass was always greener somewhere else when I hadn’t looked at my own grass. Looking for other jobs thinking it would be a better place to work when I had the perfect job, I could go on.

    I was tired when I finally realised I wasn’t going to live at Buckingham Palace. Over time I started to appreciate what I already had at my own door step. These images of the perfect life is constantly fed to us with media, magazines, Hollywood / Bollywood portraying the glitzy lifestyles. It hits the news and the world is at shock when a celebrity couple split leaving a trail of a messy divorce wounding the children along the way and people still fall for the fantasies of that perfect life. No amount of money can buy that perfect life ask the celebrities and famous singers who relied on drugs to numb them from reality not around any more to tell their real life stories.

    We have the perfect life, we are equiped with everything to give us what we need.
    If we took care of ourselves more and appreciate what is already around us would we see life through a different looking glass?

  22. Looking outside of ourselves for the perfect life is destined to be an endless quest. There is so much out there and it is constantly changing.

    I am slowing down and feeling a sense of contentment, by feeling me, that I have been searching for all my life. By doing this I can enjoy the outside world more because I do not need anything from it. It is so simple, just be myself, and allow the outside world to be what it is.

  23. What is it about us that goes for the miracle cream, lotion and potion that is going to change us overnight and make us perfect.
    The big newspaper advertisement says it is going to give us the perfect eyes, teeth, skin or whatever it is we don’t like and bingo we are sorted.
    But are we really as the same ad says it lasts all day long.
    HELLO – that means one day. Then what?
    Is this perfect this a joke and if it is who benefits?
    Is it a game where we are chasing something that is not really achievable?
    Are we ok buying these products that seem to get high volume of customers simply because of the claims they make?
    Are these ‘one minute wonders’ here today and gone tomorrow a true way for us?
    Are we hooked in because they all have special offers and buy now, pay later which suits our lifestyle?
    Are we jumping on the quick fix bandwagon because it means we do not have to take any responsibility for the way we are living?
    Are we happy just having something work for one day at whatever cost because that simply suits us?
    Are we the customer demanding these miracle solutions like band aids to cover our bullet wounds when in truth we know deep down they cannot really deliver life long change which is what we want?

  24. This image thing is huge and our young children are being affected and this is our future adults. Where are we going to end up?

    Just in the national newspaper today we have an article about famous young royals and our celebrities wearing super high heels whilst pregnant and doctors saying this is not a sensible choice because of the risk of a fall.
    The question is where is our responsibility and whether we are famous or not, what is it that we want the world to see about us?
    The perfect picture is killing us literally as it robs us of a natural way of life and that word Acceptance is not on our radar.

    Our kids need real role models who are not caught up in a certain way to be or look but are deeply connected and know who they are without the need or craving for recognition from others.

  25. What is a ‘Perfect Life’?

    There are many reasons for different people that constitute a perfect life, like, winning big on the lottery, having the perfect job, having the perfect family (wife, 2.4 children, house and a car), living on a tropical island, emigrating to another country, owning your own business and making millions, the list is endless.

    Up until about 10 years ago, I thought that winning millions on the lottery would be my ‘perfect life’ and the money would solve all my issues. Yes, it would enable me to buy ‘stuff’ but with the money comes the wanting for that bigger, better house, car or gadget. And as it has been shown through history with people that have a lot of money, it sometimes brings more problems than if they didn’t have the money.

    Whatever our ideal or picture of the ‘perfect life’, is it possible that, because it is just an ideal or picture, when we get our ‘perfect life’, we find that it is not enough any more and so we strive for another ‘perfect’ ideal or picture.

    Is it possible that that the reason we are always striving for that ‘something better’ is because our ideals or pictures come from looking outside of ourselves which leads to a need to have other people recognize and acknowledge how ‘good’ we are.

    What if we didn’t need that recognition?
    What if we didn’t look outside of ourselves?
    What if we started to ignore what society says is the ‘perfect life’?
    What if we started to look in-wards and realise that we are enough as we are and that what we do as a job or how much wealth we have doesn’t matter?

    What would our ‘Perfect Life’ look like then?

  26. I am starting to realise there is no such thing as the perfect life and it is not something to strive for. If I’m honest, that’s exactly what I have been doing, but it’s a trick – the goal posts always move and, anyway, what’s it all for? In fact, all it has done is keep me from appreciating all there is to appreciate (and it’s a lot), as I’ve been so busy judging and measuring it against an imaginary picture or a bunch of expectations. And it has kept me from taking all there is to take from the lessons and imperfections, because I’ve been too busy beating myself up for making them. It sounds exhausting just typing that.

    Slowly, slowly, there is more appreciation coming in. Slowly, slowly, I’m seeing what’s really important and realising it’s actually pretty simple.

  27. I feel if we are looking for a perfect life, we are just setting ourselves up to fail. Is it possible that we can never reach perfection? If we did, what would we do then, there would be nothing to do, nowhere to go?

    Striving for perfection is a great way to ignore our inner selves. I have done this to avoid feeling. Looking for answers out side of myself for all my hurts.

    I am slowly letting go of all my expectations of what life should be. It is allowing me to surrender more to myself and allow in all the support that has been around me all the time.

  28. I was just reading this double page news story about women who spend a lot on beauty face products. Ranging from £2700 to £6500 on this, that and the other for their face.

    I had no idea that there are lotions and creams on the market that can cost over £500 each.

    The interesting thing is I did not go WOW when I saw their pictures but did question how this stuff makes it to a double page news story when we have such atrocities in the world that do need to make it to headlines, so the public are more aware and informed about the truth of what is going on.

    Why do the media use press coverage on this? Is it because this is what we the readers want?

    Think about these suppliers, what is the mark up and how much do they all make in the chain and are they exploiting those who think they need to spend big bucks to keep those fine lines and wrinkles away?

    I look amazing for my age and feel 20 years younger and it is not expensive face products to look perfect, but a daily routine that includes cleanse and moisturise but going to bed early for a decade has probably got a lot to do with it and cutting out the nonsense like alcohol, dairy, gluten and sugar which is a drug, if only we were told this when we were kids.

    This trying to be perfect or doing anything to keep this image in our mind going, is an utter waste of time because the goal post is always moving. If we think about it we only do it to get a response from the world outside of us. Inside of us our body is probably saying “get to bed, that’s what I want, not another helping of that posh cream”.

  29. Reading this news article from the mail newspaper on 18 March it is saying that amateur beauticians with no medical training are offering to inject schoolgirls with dangerous lip fillers at a cheap cost of £59.

    So social media is where they have a captive audience and ‘insecure young women are being targeted’.

    The growing cosmetics industry is now estimated to be worth £3.6 billion.

    Bit like the old Tupperware parties, there are lip filler parties so all together a whole group in one house.

    There are people administering this treatment with no medical background. So basically this grossly unethical market is getting away with it.

    Sir Bruce Keogh, NHS medical director said in an official review that this industry was ‘almost entirely unregulated’.

    We could all throw our arms in the air and say it is shocking OR we could ask who are we blaming and WHY?
    Has this undercover world of cosmetic surgery been going on a long time but we have only just woken up to that fact because the media has made it hot news?

    Is there a supply of dodgy people ready to make a quick buck because there are vulnerable, easy to target audiences, who live their lives through social media?

    What if there was no demand, so the suppliers would not be in this unethical business long-term?
    What if we are the ones wanting and wanting and so they supply and supply?
    What if each individual is Responsible for feeding this game of greed or saying No?
    What if we each have our part to play in WHY this underhand stuff is going on in modern society?
    What if we need to look at WHY our school girls need this ‘perfect’ look and what is driving them?

    What if there needs to be a sense of true Responsibility and Accountability?

    What if we asked parents how well are they policing their children on social media?
    What if we asked parents to really talk to their kids about what they are actually up to?
    What if we asked parents to find out daily what on earth is going on for them?
    What if we asked parents to question WHY they need to change the way they naturally look?
    What if we asked parents do they know what their teenagers are spending their money on?
    What if we asked parents what are their children really up to behind their backs?
    What if we asked parents to take Responsibility for their part in this?
    What if we asked parents to take the law into their own home and start taking action?
    What if we asked parents to consider questions like these so change can occur in time?

    Common sense has told us over and over again that something is not right if any of us, any age is needing something to fix them or change or alter their natural state.

    If we just stop here and ask WHY, then maybe there is a chance one day for the tides to turn and bring an end to this way of living and it stops the Blame cycle. https://simplelivingglobal.com/why-do-we-blame/

    1. ‘What if we are the ones wanting and wanting and so they supply and supply?’ great question, I like how you bring the responsibility back to all of us with this question. We can complain and blame yet what is our part in it?
      What is our responsibility in the demand for these procedures?
      What is missing in our lives that make us feel the need to artificially change ourselves in this way?

      When I was younger, I strongly wanted to have my nose done and my ears pinned back, I never did but later on life as I built a loving relationship with myself, I realised that my ears and my nose fitted my face in the correct proportions. Accepting myself was huge in how I was seeing my face and features, of which I now appreciate and wouldn’t want to change any of it.

  30. http://www.medicaldaily.com/trying-be-perfect-may-lead-suicide-ideation-poor-mental-health-420721

    News story yesterday – 31 July 2017 in Medical Daily
    Trying to be Perfect may lead to Suicide Ideation, Poor Mental Health

    The study published in the Journal of Personality by researchers from the University of Ontario, Canada suggest perfectionism could kill – it could lead to suicide ideation.

    They analysed numerous studies on perfectionist tendencies and elevated suicide risk. To measure perfectionism, the following were the main ways:

    Placing excessive expectations on oneself
    Feeling the pressure from others (including parents or society at large)
    Holding other people to perfectionistic standards

    The one that was more linked to suicide attempts was where Perfectionism was linked to concerns about meeting others’ expectations.

    They added “Consequently, the typical perfectionist is locked in an endless loop of self-defeating over-striving in which each new task is another opportunity for harsh self-rebuke, disappointment and failure.”

    Despite the wealth of data on perfectionism and suicide ideation, researchers believe there needs to be more research with diverse groups.

    HELLO
    Can we just stop, re-read this blog again and this comment then join the dots?
    Even if we had one person doing this, that is a clear indication of the microcosm. The fact wE have numerous studies, confirms this fact over and over again.

    WHY on earth do we need anymore research when we all have common sense?

    WHY don’t we put it to good use here and say that something is clearly wrong when it comes to our mind wanting this perfect life and the goal post keeps moving and the thoughts keep getting more extreme?

    We can keep coming out with more and more studies telling us the same thing but none of it is presenting another way or offering us the root cause.

    Is it high time we all started asking questions and demanding answers and making this news headlines until we get to the root cause?

    If not we remain in the solution-based way, relying on our scientific research studies and negating all else there is to take into account as to WHY someone wants to be perfect in the first place.

  31. The UK Home Office’s Crime Survey shows that steroid use has quadrupled in a year, with the biggest increase in use being in the 16-24 year old age group – 19,000 young people now use steroids.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/drug-misuse-findings-from-the-2015-to-2016-csew

    The reason given for these statistics is the increasing ‘sensitivity and vigilance’ in young people about how they look – young men are wanting the muscly bodies they see as the ideal.

    How serious must it be for them to feel that sourcing and taking illegal drugs is the answer?

    What pictures do our youth have in their heads about how they should look?

    What are we all buying into that propagates those images?

    https://www.google.co.uk/amp/m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/uk_597b05c4e4b02a4ebb74b8cb/amp

    1. I was talking to a beauty journalist who concluded she needed to go on a ‘magazine diet’.

      By this she meant she needed to look at magazines much less. She said she had noticed that within the first few pages of reading, her sense of self worth dropped and she became critical of herself – her body, her face, her skin, her clothes.

      It as if magazines had become like self harm to her and she needed to remove herself from that – standards of perfection she couldn’t reach, instructions on how to live and what to buy, a sense of never being good enough.

      There is such supply and demand for magazines – what are we all buying in to?

  32. I was talking to a woman yesterday who has ‘never been below a size 12’ and she was sharing how hard it is for her to feel good in her body when society holds such strong pictures of what perfect looks like.

    She feels healthy. She feels strong.

    I wonder what would happen to our pictures of perfect if we prioritised vitality over dress size…

  33. http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/perfectionists-much-greater-risk-suicide-those-who-just-do-their-best-1638482

    International Business Times – 7 September 2017

    Perfectionists are at much greater risk of suicide than those who just do their best.

    This is the news headlines on an International News website, so what is this telling us about being Perfect?

    The article says that “more than 50 years of research has found a systematic link between perfectionism and suicide”.

    Hello
    Can we just stop at this sentence. Over 50 years of research.

    WHY are we not just funding research now into finding out the root cause and not stopping until we do?
    WHY do we need a single more study about a correlation that has been proven and tested and tested, for over half a century, giving us the same answer?

    It would be true to say there is a link with perfectionism and suicide.
    So what is next and what on earth are we going to do about it, knowing we have all this intelligence?

    Could we go straight to anecdotal evidence and cut to the chase?
    Could we find those who attempted suicide and find out why?
    Could we carry out research with those who have eating disorders and see what they have to say?

    Can we begin to value what another person says and not fit them in a box to suit our study?
    Can we have more independent, transparent research so it’s in the public’s interest?

    Could we find out more from the family and friends of those who did commit suicide?
    Could we join the dots and use our common sense hat, to get some real answers?
    Could we then save time and money and get to the root cause of this devastating problem?
    Could we then take seriously blogs like this, which may just be presenting another way?
    Could we then consider websites like this which are in for the long haul, giving us some real answers, if we are open to another way?

    Martin Smith, University of Western Ontario – the author of a new review of research on perfectionism and suicide says “Perfectionism places people at increased risk of depression over time. It is linked to eating disorders, including binge eating. We have a new paper coming out showing a link with anxiety. Perfectionist concern is shown to be associated with procrastinating”.

    There is more but after reading this blog and comment – are we any wiser?

    What if we made a choice to read the Suicide blog on this website?
    https://simplelivingglobal.com/world-suicide-prevention-day-10-september/
    What if we made a further choice to read the Eating Disorders blog?
    https://simplelivingglobal.com/world-eating-disorders-action-day/
    What if we then read the blog on this website about Depression?
    https://simplelivingglobal.com/world-health-day-depression/
    What if we read the blog on this website about Mental Health?
    https://simplelivingglobal.com/world-mental-health-day/
    What if we read the blog called Commitment to Life and see what it has to say?
    https://simplelivingglobal.com/commitment-to-life-part-1/

    Can we join the dots and see where all this perfection stuff comes from in the first place?
    Can we make a start by being honest and admitting something is not right?
    Can we all do our bit and at least start talking, at every given opportunity?
    Can we make this part of our daily conversations at any social chit chats?
    Can we use social media to get this stuff out there, so we can make a difference?

    Are we ready to educate our world that life does not have to be this way?
    Are we ready to help those who need our support, by simply expressing what we feel and not choosing to hold back?

  34. You often hear the phrase “living the dream”. Does such a thing exist?
    I don’t think so. Does the word dream put us in a false state of being?

    The one thing I have come to realise is the perfect life does not exist. It is us as human beings that create a picture in our head of how life SHOULD BE. When the simple answer is to live who we are and NOT TRY TO LIVE SOMETHING WE ARE NOT.

    Perfect Life is a False way of Living that I know because I have been there. It is great to re-visit this blog.

  35. Last weekend’s newspaper, the freebie addition had headlines about the perfect diet so you can get into that party dress in time for Christmas. What was interesting is the word PERFECT in big bold front page colour gloss.

    What does that do for the majority?
    How is something like this even possible or attainable?

    I reckon we have seriously lost the plot and the media are not helping us.
    We seem to demand this perfection and want the quick fix solution all the time.

    I know this as once upon a time, I was one of them and it just left me disillusioned, empty and seeking the next fix to give me the picture in my head that kept changing. I was simply going around and around in circles and going nowhere.

    Things changed when I stopped spinning and started to take responsibility for the choices I was making every day in my life. Instead of seeking perfection, which was something outside of me, I looked inside me to ask myself honestly what was it I really wanted and why?

    Asking questions helps and being honest is a great starting point.
    Then I addressed the exhaustion of living a life that was never about me but what others would think and say about me. Once that was knocked out, I could focus on qualities that I know I have that may be of some use to this world.

    Bingo, here I am today having published over 100 blogs on the world wide web, learning how to use Twitter as a platform to bring more awareness and nothing else, studying my 11th diploma at age 55 and writing a course for a college. There is more but this shows what is possible if we stop trying to be perfect and just get real.

    Perfect in any form simply does not work and I am living proof. Been it, done it and I see no point now.

  36. There is a book I like called – ish.

    It is about a boy who loves to draw and his pictures do not look exactly how they are supposed to.

    He draws what he feels.

    This reminds me I don’t have to get it right if I like it.

  37. Daily Mail – 9 December 2017-12-12

    Should anti-ageing creams be renamed?

    The title of this story is up for debate as campaigners want to remove pressure on women to look younger and suggested beauty products for older women could instead be marketed for “mature skin”.

    The article goes on to say that we have to constantly change and manage our appearance to be younger than we actually are and there is so much pressure on women to do that, much more than men.

    Hello – can we stop and look at the SUPPLY and DEMAND business here.

    Could it be possible that we as women are Demanding to look younger?
    Could it be possible that we are the ones in the first place putting pressure on?
    Could it be possible that what we want is then supplied to us?

    Could it be possible that our ageing process is accelerated by our irresponsible lifestyle choices, more now than ever before in history?

    Could it be possible that the industry is about making money – that’s the bottom line and so they will keep giving us new cream, new serums, new this and that, with names we have never heard of to tell us we are going to look younger?

    Could it be possible that part of us wants this youthful look as we spend so much time looking on the outside of us and making that our daily focus?
    In other words, we are more concerned about what the world sees when it looks at us than we are about our own connection to who we truly are?

    What if true beauty was all about our deepest inner most connection, that then allows us to be real in a world that is doing everything opposite?

    What if we looked in the mirror and could simply see what we feel?
    What if we could wake up and realise that what we eat has an effect on our looks?
    What if we could be honest and admit that alcohol and drugs make us look old?
    What if we could admit that smoking is not helping us to stay youthfull?

    What if our way of living every single day can and will make a difference to how we look?

    What if the author of this blog and this comment is a living example of not a perfect life but a real life at aged 55, which comes with a huge dose of Responsibility and the benefits are looking younger without any special creams?

    What if there was another way to live, that is not about a topical cream as a solution for ageing, but actually living in a way that guarantees a natural change that is more than acceptable to us?

  38. I saw a Metro newspaper article earlier this year on Botox (30th March 2017). It was celebrating Botox’s 15th anniversary. I was surprised to see that it was 15 years as I remember when Botox first came out. Doing the maths I would have been 24 years old. I remember thinking at the time “this is never something that I will do”.

    However even though I am uninterested in having Botox, I still like to stay tuned in to what is happening in the world and so the fact that Botox was 15 years old intrigued me.
    I started quietly asking questions like – WHY is Botox so popular and how come it has lasted this long?

    Conducting some online research, Botox was actually discovered in 1987 by a couple who were doctors. Today Botox is a billion dollar industry.

    The discovery is heralded as an accident as one of the doctors was treating the uncontrollable blinking and spasm of a patient’s eye and surrounding area with botulinum toxin. It was the patient who shared with the doctor that when the doctor injected the area with the substance, they noticed their wrinkles went away. The patient asked for her forehead to be treated too!

    By 1993, Botox had swept the world with it’s wrinkle reducing ability. However there is a danger to it as Botox has been described as a powerful poison. In the newspaper article that I read the writer describes it as ‘one of the world’s most lethal neurotoxins’. We already know that toxin is in it’s full name ‘botulinum toxin’ so the fact that it is a toxin is not hidden.

    The Metro newspaper article also says that ‘The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons says Botox is the world’s number one cosmetic treatment and demand has increased by more than 700%’

    So the real questions arise –

    Why is there such a demand for Botox treatments?

    Why is there such a demand to get rid of wrinkles, to stay looking young, to live up to and become a certain measure of what is seen as beautiful, even if it involves putting toxins into our bodies?

    What is it we are really trying to hide, iron out or even erase by getting rid of any wrinkles?

    Could the wrinkles be communicating something to us that we really do not want to face up to?

    1. Post
      Author

      This is a great comment Shevon and thank you for adding a bit more here about botox, as your research has expanded this blog.

      I was doing a bit of observation on the train journeys this week and I am noticing the raised look is almost permanent causing these wavy lines across the forehead. When the person is engaged in their screen, it seems the lines are really embedded and deep. When they sort of relax and are not so intense with whatever their mind is thinking, the lines remain.

      When I see someone who has had the lines injected with the botox filler, it seems like they have a frozen flawless skin that is void of expression, if you know what I mean.

      Something is not right, even though it is supposed to look perfect to the eye which some may say it does.

      My question is, how are we choosing to live with our minds that gives us all these facial lines?

      Next question – what is it about us that has these facial expressions that become such a habit that eventually we end up with all these lines?

      All I know is I do not have them and I am hardly a spring chicken.

      An old bird, almost aged 56 and obviously doing something that is working, because those lines are not across the forehead and there is no desire to get anything fixed on the face or body to get perfect.

      Long gone are those days of distraction and fantasy illusion of a perfect life.

      In are the glory days of real commitment and connection to purpose in life that erases the need for anything that is perfect.

  39. Daily Mail – 6 January 2018

    Dr Max Pemberton – NHS Psychiatrist saying that boys feel body image pain as much as girls.
    “A BBC investigation this week has shone a light on the dark, dangerous world of anabolic steroid abuse, revealing that more men are using these hormones to achieve a muscular physique.

    Dealers are selling these illegal substances on social media platforms to boys as young as 14. There is incredible pressure about their appearance and they are bombarded with images of chiselled torsos and developing warped ideas about what real bodies look like, says Dr. Max.

    So here we have an image, an expectation, a picture in the minds of teenagers and young men trying to be something that is far from real.

    Bottom line is we have this thing about wanting a perfect body but forget we are human.

    We are not designed on a computer image and cannot be airbrushed in truth, so we are chasing something that will end in harm to our precious body?

    We need to consider the supply and demand thing here, as with everything.

    Suppliers would be out of business if we stopped asking for the steroids but whilst we demand it, there will always be a dodgy supplier who has no care for another human and will supply. Instead of blaming the suppliers and finding solutions to stamp them out, would it be a wise move to educate our youth with the vast volume of content on this website, so that they can then make informed choices?

    This website is all about taking Responsibility and living a self connecting life, which holds meaning and purpose. Once we have these ingredients in daily life, it knocks out the need to be perfect or even want the perfect body.

  40. Thank you for this wonderful blog.

    I, too, grew up with pictures in mind of what my perfect life would look like. Pictures of wealth, success, massive career, the big house, ideal wife and beautiful family.

    Some of these pictures were based on the aspirations my parents had for me and some of these pictures came from popular culture: TV, magazines and movies.

    All these pictures of the ideal life were things out there in the world.

    Growing up, no one said to me that what I could aim for in life was to live the real me inside in the world. No one said to me that harmony, joy, honouring my body and taking responsibility for everything were worthy pursuits in life.

    On the subject of pursuits in life, the pursuit of perfection in life is dangerous.

    It is wrong-headed because it encourages far too many people in the belief that life is only about driving oneself to get the external things of life – possessions and people – to match a mental ideal. None of this drive for perfection places any importance in life on looking inwards to dive deeper into the self or discovering our real self inside.

    The dangers of the pursuit of perfection, I feel, can be seen in the lives and deaths of some of the celebrities, Hollywood and music stars, who succumb to drink and drugs and die seemingly prematurely at the height of their fame.

    I believe that these individuals get to a point where they realise they have achieved their childhood ambitions of success, fame, and fortune yet they feel even emptier than they have ever felt. It’s perplexing to them that getting everything that they ever wanted does not give them what they really wanted. Nor does achieving their idea of a perfect life take away the emptiness inside that they were trying to fill with worldly success.

    So, tragically, without an awareness that connection with their real selves is what they actually are looking for, they look to drugs to numb the emptiness they feel inside. An emptiness which has been heightened because, even though they have finally achieved their idea of a perfect life, they feel more empty inside than ever.

    What each of us is really looking for in life is never outside of us.

  41. iPaper – 13 February 2018

    Expensive supplements containing green tea, collagen or pomegranate extract, which claim to provide younger firmer skin could be a waste of money according to Scientists at the British Nutrition Foundation.

    They found a balanced diet, sunscreen and not smoking were more likely to protect skin.

    Hello World

    Do we really need scientists and research studies to tell us what we deep down already know?

    We know there is not one single thing that is the magic cure to sort us out in any area.

    We know that there is more and we need to look at everything as a whole and not focus on just one thing.

    We know that our bad habits and our wayward lifestyle choices contribute to the way we look.

    We know that when we look in the mirror all we see is how we feel in that moment.

    We know we are being fooled by all this advertising and making claims but yet we get swept into it to fix us up and give us results because we simply do not want to commit, put effort into consistently making sensible choices everyday and knocking out those images and mental pictures in our head for the perfect skin, body and everything else.

    It is high time we stopped giving our power away to all this marketing and empowered ourselves by making small steps every day to change inside what we know is not working.

    Having lived this way for over a decade, I can honestly say perfect is not on my radar but being real and human and making mistakes and learning are all part of life now and far more rewarding with JOY everyday, no matter what the weather or what life brings.

  42. http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/13/expensive-skin-supplements-complete-waste-money-7310044/

    iPaper 13 February 2018

    Scientists at the British Nutrition Foundation found expensive supplements containing green tea, pomegranate extract, fish oil and collagen which claim to provide firmer skin could be a waste of money.

    The global beauty supplements market is expected to reach £5.1 billion by 2023.

    So what is going on?
    Are we being fooled?
    https://simplelivingglobal.com/are-we-being-fooled/

    Can we really point the finger and blame?
    OR are we the ones who demand and the industry then supply?

    Most of us want to live our lives the way we want. Our lifestyle choices may not support our body and our skin to look great but hey ho we want what we want. Some of us can afford high end products that claim this and that and we go for it, with the image in our mind that it is going to erase the lifestyle choices that gave us the wrinkly skin.

    But is this just a solution to our wayward living or are we waiting for research to confirm what deep down we already know?

    Do we like the thought of these fancy jars and fancy names claiming how it is going to make us look young and give us that youthful skin, when we all know there is more to address?

    Taking care of our skin is super important, but are there others factors to consider like drinking plenty of plain water, walking daily and mastering our sleep, so we have a quality of sleep that supports our immune system, so we get a boost from the inside of our body emanating outwardly and not a topical thing to fix us?

  43. We moved our children out of a private school to a state school last year.

    What was interesting was how many of the parents we know from the private school then shared how much they were struggling. Struggling to pay the fees. Wondering how they would manage as the fees get more and more as their child/children progresses through the school.

    Until we shared what we were doing and why we were doing it, no one talked about the financial strain and the toll it was taking. The picture was of a perfect and monied life at every turn.

    Except it was not.

    The struggle to ‘give them the best start in life’ was a massive drain, financially and emotionally for many.

    We said ‘no more’ and it was the best decision we have made. The new school is real life and we can start to take care of our finances. This creates an feeling of space where previously there had been struggle.

    And all for what? To keep rowing towards an unattainable picture of what good looks like?

    Seeing the truth coming out was like royally popping one of those perfect life pictures in our heads. Let’s see what the next one might be.

  44. Just reading in the Metro Newspaper today about a famous pop celebrity who I did not recognise because of the make up, beard and a full body of tattoos up to the chin.

    With millions of fans this is one young 23 year old pop star who “copes with anxieties and stage fright”.

    For the average jo this just makes no sense. We think he has the fame and wealth to go with it and a famous girlfriend so surely that is everything for a perfect life but in Truth it is far from perfect.

    Imagine living with constant anxiety and knowing there is a fear when performing and that is your career, your life, your job description.

    I also wonder how someone so young is really feeling if they have a whole body covered in tattoos and most of us know it is super painful having needles poked onto our skin.

    These famous artists have followers who want to be like their idol and they do what it takes to be like them.

    What is the quality here and what are we feeding?

    In other words, is this a true way of living and are these role models really perfect like we want to believe?

    Fame comes at a price and we all know that.
    We can choose to be fooled or we can wake up and get a reality check that the majority of our famous people have problems and we all know about those who seem to have the perfect life and then suicide.

    Without asking questions, we will never evolve or bring about change.

    I for one as an elder in my community am learning how to understand people and not cast judgement. With understanding, I know that we have a choice in every moment to heal or to harm ourself and our world.

    Wanting, desiring or demanding a perfect life is harmful as this blog presents.

    It is a goal that keeps moving in our mind so we never get the perfect life.

  45. Thank you for this fantastic blog.

    I have pictures in my mind of the perfect life. Where did these pictures come from?

    Most of my life, I have not been in a state of maintained, consistent connection with the real inner me. So, I have mostly been operating from the emptiness that exists in the absence of that true connection.

    Over the years, when in this emptiness, I have picked up beliefs, concepts, ideals and pictures of the perfect life from family, peers, books and the media that I have accepted without much discrimination.

    If I had always consistently maintained a connection to the real inner me, I would not have any of these pictures that I have of the perfect life because all the real inner me wants in life is simply the real inner me.

  46. Listening to declarations of love at weddings is an interesting thing.

    There is a huge amount of idealism.

    Expressions of the perfect emotional love. Descriptions of a fairy tale life with fairy tale behaviour. Picture perfect.

    I am wondering about the impact it has, feeling the gap between this idealism and reality.

    And what if we instead started from a place of simple truth? From a commitment to start where we are and evolve together each day.

    Would we need the ideals of the perfect wedding and the perfect marriage if we put evolution first?

    1. Post
      Author

      You beat me to it Jenifer.
      I was about to put a comment on about the perfect wedding thing.

      I recently was sent lots of perfect looking photos and short videos of a picture perfect wedding. Fairytale dress and the tails on the mens’ suits.
      This was the official legal registry office and the big shabang is a 4 day event, on a perfect summer weekend next month.

      I recall a brief conversation with this young bride last year who said that she wants “the whole fairytale” and of course daddy has money and mr fiance does too as that is part of the fairytale.

      What was interesting for me is looking at the photos and seeing it for what it really is and my question is – do we lose ourselves with the picture in our mind and forget about what really matters?

      As you say about the gap – when does the reality kick in?

      Talking from lived experience, I lost the plot and we sold our properties, had lots of money in the bank and went nuts and spent it on a country ideal perfect wedding.

      The cost was huge and what most would call a house deposit.

      So what did floating candles, designer wedding cake and 4 different types of top class cuisine do really, not to mention a rock band who were really awefull.

      Just for the record – we speak to a few family members of the 100+ guests who we invited and that is the truth.

      Back to the actual marriage – we had 2
      The official one at a palace with just two witnesses, followed by 5 star champagne lunch.

      WHY – I wanted something unusual and my partner let me do what I want.

      The big fat wedding – we made up our own vows because we could.
      What is the point of saying stuff in front of guests, which is not followed up?

      Not once was I honest enough to admit that the whole thing felt like a plot sent to take me off track with what my real purpose on earth is about.
      We were simply comfortable with each other and had this love – so we thought but we never really at that time even knew how to love ourself.
      In my books, how can we possibly love another until we give that to us first.

      So where are we today in our post perfect wedding arrangement.
      I call it that because that is what it actually is and we have both recently had a wake up call. An electric shock to the heart where the deep level of dis-honesty is coming up to deal with, but not to judge and be critical but to have an understanding why we have got to this point and where do we go from here.

      What I know now is that I had been holding on to a perfect picture about marriage and how comfortable I was as I got the man and I was set for life and that part of life needed no work – how wrong I was.

      This nonsense in my head and strongly held ideals and beliefs actually capped my evolution, if you ask me.

      What is it about us that we happily ignore the signs, put up with whatever, accept things and never challenge in a relationship like a marriage but simply bop along with our differences and at some level, tolerate the bits we don’t like?

      What would life be like if, as you say Jenifer, if we simply put the focus on evolution and not the ideals we carry in our mind?

      I for one plan to question everything in my relationships and leave no stone unturned.

      This is not about perfect for me – it is about evolution because without it I see no point. In other words, no purpose.

  47. Talking to a fellow parent at my kids’ school. She had been to visit a private school in the area. She said it ‘weirded her out’.

    She said she felt tearful from the moment she walked in and ended up with tears quietly falling during the presentations.

    She was struggling to process why, but she knew she needed to listen to those feelings. We talked about it.

    She said the place was set up like a 5 star hotel. Everything was pristine. They were serving amuse bouche. Everyone with their best clothes and smiles. An accomplished child playing the cello.

    She said as she looked around, it seemed she was the only one thinking this was way too much and artificial. The other parents seemed to be lapping it up. She said she couldn’t see anyone ‘normal’; no one she felt drawn to talk to.

    And the adulation for the high achieving children they were showcasing was off the chart. She said those kids will surely end up messed up if they are treated that way.

    And what about their fellow students who aren’t ‘achieving’ in the same way? What affect does it have on them being measured against it?

    She said she felt conflicted. She wants what’s best for her kids and she wonders what that is. She went to a private school herself and said it was full of normal people just getting on with it. It is like the division has become more extreme.

    When my kids were in a private school, I used to have tears when they were doing the school play. Not tears of joy or pride, but a strange sadness. It felt that the school was doing it all for the parents and to showcase what they could get the kids to do – it didn’t feel like it was about the kids at all.

    That and many other things never sat right with me and the choice to move our kids to a state school was absolutely the right one for us. As parents, we feel settled and it feels that our boys get more space to be themselves and explore their interests and strengths, not having to aspire to some lofty picture of academic, musical or sporting success. And they are with a cross section of interesting people from all walks of life – whoever happens to be in the local catchment area.

    It was interesting talking to this lady and watching her respond to and process the truth of her body. Being able to support her to see she was not mad and did not have to override her feelings. That other people are choosing real over perfect and enjoying that, too.

  48. Increasingly in the news there have been stories from celebrities, exposing their not so perfect life, as they share of the turmoil of either mental health problems, drug addictions or difficulties in relationships.

    When we look at how human life is designed, the ultimate catch appears to be to have it all – money, fame and as they say fortune – but at what cost?

    Have we stopped to really look at this and question, what exactly is it that we are striving for when we go after the fame and fortune?

    What is it that we are getting apart from the recognition and attention from others and in truth is it worth it?

    We have a generation of children growing up today in front of screens and their role models are often the celebrities that they see.

    Whilst our children strive to have the lifestyle portrayed, what is happening to them in the process?

    What if when we try to be like another and have their life, we get all of what they live and not just the ‘good’ parts that we see?

    What if fame and fortune come at a price and what if it may not be the perfect life that we think it is?

    1. As a daily researcher on the news stuff, I agree with you Shevon that there is more news reported about our celebrities who are really not doing great in life – polar opposite to what most would call perfect.

      As I read your comment, I recalled a time in a posh London High Street where I saw a super famous member of a girl band back then.

      My first response was “Oh, they look nothing like they do on TV”.

      It got me thinking how we have this false image in our head about those we idolise or imagine have perfect lives, but this is so not true. This person was not looking great and their face was full of spots and I took note, as at the time I suffered badly with adult acne.

      We seem to have become a culture of seeking something with this perfect lifestyle and we have our list of what that entails.

      Could it be possible that it removes us from our innate essence – the very quality of our being which resides inside us and is actually perfect in every way?

      What makes us move away from the divine perfection that we are when we are born ?

      Let us be honest we never see a new born as anything but perfect.

      What choices do we make along the way that alters our perception and wants something to feel perfect, when in reality it is not possible because we already are?

      Have we lost the plot, got things completely the wrong way around or upside down?

      Maybe this blog and comment just sounds like twaddle to some of us, but what if there is some wisdom being presented that does make sense?

      What if we all got real and checked in with the non-celebs, like the author of this blog, who lives an amazing life with no perfection on the radar and it works – consistently?

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