Toilet Talk

Dear World


Is it time to get talking about our Toilet business?

WHY on earth would be interested in this subject?

WHY is Toilet Talk such a highly sensitive subject?

WHY are we always laughing about the Toilet Talk?

Who would really want to talk about this Toilet stuff?

What does Toilet Talk actually mean to us all?

What about –

Toilet behaviour
Toilet cleaning
Toilet etiquette
Toilet manners
Toilet respect
Toilet rules

WHY is it important to get Back to Basics with our pee and poo business?

WHY is it important to learn about the Responsibility factor when it comes to Toilet matters?

Are we ready to openly and honestly have a chat about this personal and private everyday thing?

Are we ready to go there and really get talking about the Toilet stuff that we seem to avoid unless it’s a joke?

Are we willing to be up front about all aspects of Toilet Talk, so we can perhaps learn something here?

What is the state of our lavatory today?
What do we hate about the Toilet Talk?
What do we avoid about our Toilet business?

What do we do or don’t do when it comes to pee time?

What are our habits when it comes to a number 2 – poo?

What is it about farting and the stinky smells that we pretend was not us, when we know it was?

What is it about certain foods we eat that make our belly gurgle and our poo stink?

What is it that makes us go for another spicy curry night when we don’t like the curry bottom sting the next day?

What is our body communicating when our wee wee is very dark in colour?

What can we learn about passing urine if we pay more attention to what we release?

What is happening to our physiology when we ignore the sign to go for a pee and then half a day has passed?

WHY do we rarely discuss urinating and defecating unless it is a joke?

WHY do so many of us avoid going for a pee when our body says ‘right now please’?

WHY do we feel such a sense of relief after passing water – aka pee?

WHY do we feel a lot lighter after a motion release of poo?

WHY does our poo stink so much almost all the time?

WHY do some people have the odd poo a week, not every day?

WHY do some people think we need 3 poos at least each day?

WHY do we have sticky poo that sits around the Toilet bowl?

WHY do we hate talking about poo stuff and if we do, we make light of it with jokes?

WHY do some people call it bathroom when we are actually using the Toilet?

WHY do we think it’s ok to treat our own Toilet different to a public Toilet?

WHY do we find ways to avoid using the Toilet when we are out and about?

WHY do some of us have anxiety because we need to know where the Toilet is when we are out?

WHY are we relying on incontinence pads and because we feel so bad we send someone to buy them for us?

WHY do some of us loathe drinking water as it makes us wee a lot?

WHY do most of us just hate using the public bathroom facilities?

WHY are there so many very smelly dirty Toilets in restaurants?

WHY do some hotels have stinky Toilets, which look like they just had a surface clean?

Next –

What about those portable Toilets at big events, where we drink too much and then spend ages in the queue?

What about the shopping malls where there are never enough Toilets and the sanitary bins are always full?

What about the diners where it’s fancy on the outside but the Toilet talks to us and tells us “it sure ain’t fancy in here”?

What about the roadside Toilets that we conveniently stop at because we didn’t bother to get toileted before we left for the journey?

What about the cheap accommodation which we regret booking because the Toilets are so manky, we ended up holding on to our poo business?

What about the swimming pools where we think we can get away with peeing in the pool?

Next –

How many of us rarely use the Toilet at work as it feels unclean and smelly?

How many of us never have a poo at work as we are just too private about this sort of stuff?

How many of us would rather hold on to our poo and pee at work as it’s too embarrassing for us to get on with it?

How many of us simply suck at this letting go business if we are honest?

How many of us only go to the Toilet in a rush and pay no attention to what is happening down there?

How many of us put very little value into this daily Toilet activity?

How many of us want the poo and pee to happen in a flash, so we can get out and forget about the whole thing?

How many of us are talking at the photocopy machines about catheter bags, as we don’t have to stop working and make a trip to the Toilet?

How many of us deliberately avoid drinking water as it makes us go for a pee more often?

How many of us have become masters at avoiding going for a pee and hours later realise we haven’t been yet?

How many of us feel a lot of pain because we just can’t be bothered to go to the loo on a regular basis?

How many of us are so busy caring for others that we pay zero attention to our basic needs, like going for pee when we need to?

How many of us find it funny talking about other people’s Toilet stuff but never put the spotlight on us?

How many of us laugh at those who use water to wash after poo time?

How many of us hate it when we see the skid marks in our pants because we were sloppy wiping our bum?

How many of us want to change our Toilet habits, which are not good to say the least?

How many of us know that our poo is telling us something about how we are choosing to live?

How many of us are so self conscious at the noises that come with a number 2 that we do our best not to blast out for all to hear?

How many of us start with shoving heaps of Toilet paper down the loo, hoping it takes away the sound of the plops we are about to make?

How many of us are laughing out loud because of all the things this blog is spelling out so far?

How many of us were never taught the basics of Toilet hygiene and good proper Toilet manners?

How many of us think it is not our responsibility to clean a Toilet after we use it?

How many of us think it is someone else’s job to clean the Toilet after we mess it up?

How many of us just wish that we had a maid to clean up our mess after every poo and pee?

How many of us never ever look back and make sure the Toilet, including the seat is clean after using it?

How many of us never respect the Toilet we are using or even give it any thought whatsoever?

How many of us have a habit of using heaps of Toilet paper when we know it is not needed?

How many of us see a blocked Toilet because others use too much Toilet roll and never bother to flush properly?

How many of us just don’t care when we use those wet wipes and can’t be bothered, so we flush them down the loo knowing it is not right?

How many of us tickle our hands under water after we have used the Toilet as a full hand wash takes too much time?

How many of us never bother to wash our hands or value this bit as important for hygiene reasons?

How many of us are paranoid about catching something from the Toilet?

How many of us never sit on a Toilet seat because we might get something?

How many of us are put off by the manky dirty Toilet brush displayed in public Toilets wherever we go?

How many of us judge people we visit who have dirty Toilet brushes?

How many of us notice some places don’t even have a Toilet brush?

How many of us have never ever picked up and used a Toilet brush?

How many of us have no clue what to do with a Toilet brush?

How many of us don’t actually know how to clean a Toilet?

How many of us have never had a bog standard real Toilet Talk?

How many of us wish there were good old fashion lessons in how to clean a Toilet?

How many of us did not know Simple Living Global have a Back to Basics handout called “Cleaning our Toilet”?

Next –

What is the real current state of our Toilet brush?
When was the last time we did an examination?
Have we ever bothered to take real care of it?

Do we clean the Toilet bowl every time after a poo?
Do we rinse the brush out so the poo is not in there?

Have we got this habit of replacing our Toilet brush rather than looking after it, so it just lasts longer?

Who on earth bothers to look around and do a Take 2 to check what mess we have left after our big release?

Next –

Here is our handout taken from the Simple Living Global Back to Basics Program.

Toilet Talk

We all need the toilet every day for our pee and poo business

We all have habits of what we do and don’t do in this department

Are we aware that we sometimes override the urge to go?

Do we find going to the toilet is a real bore or a chore?

Do we wish there was more time to do the toilet stuff?

How are we at home with our own toilet business?

How are we with sharing a toilet with others?

How are we when it comes to public toilets?

Is Toilet Talk something we avoid discussing with others?

Top Tips 

NEVER EVER hold on – if you need to go, just GO

Never stop drinking water just to avoid going to the toilet often

Always make a point of going to the toilet before any journey

When visiting public places, check out where the toilets are

Going shopping, important to note where the toilets are located

Do not let anxiety or stress creep in just because you need to use the toilet more often than others

Be respectful of others using the toilet after you
Leave it in a clean condition and make that a habit

At home, in your hostel, or prison cell – keep the toilet super clean

Toilet roll running low, take action and get the next one ready

Toilet roll finished – replace it, no matter how busy you are

Treat your toilet with the utmost respect and keep it that way

Be aware when using the toilet – in other words, pay attention

Lift up the seat gently and place up with your fingertips

Undo zip or fastening, then remove underwear gently
Be aware of your fingertips – this helps to stay present

Never go to the toilet in autopilot mode, even in the night

After you complete the business, flush and just take a pause

Pull up your pants and be aware of your body as you do this
Bring your body back into balance

Take a breath and then proceed to wash your hands

DO NOT leave the toilet until you are sure it is being left clean

Do a Take 2  and check the seat is clean and the toilet bowl too

If it needs a wipe or a toilet brush – simply take action, no delay
Use toilet cleaning products and always brush anti-clockwise

Replace your toilet brush if needed and then commit to keeping it super clean with a weekly hot wash

Go out of your way to focus on this simple task

If it is your own toilet, check if anything else needs cleaning –
Sink, door handle, floor, light switch

Note – if something does not feel right in the pee or poo department, get to the Doctor

Always get things checked out as you know your body more than anyone else does

ALWAYS honour that first feeling when you get the urge/sign from your body to go to the toilet

Your body will thank you and you will feel much better – FACT


This publication is ©Copyright and the Moral Rights of the Author, Bina Pattel and Simple Living Global are asserted.
Other than for the purposes of and subject to the conditions prescribed under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 as amended, no part of this work may in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, microcopying, photocopying, recording or otherwise) be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted without prior written permission.
Inquiries should be addressed to Simple Living Global –


So here it is – the first ever up front, in your face Toilet Talk

What if there is more to learn about Toilet Talk?

What if there is a whole science about this subject?

What if Simple Living Global will one day talk more about the current dis-eases that we have created, which are linked to this topic?


Comments 17

  1. Yes, World, it is time to let it all hang out!

    There is so much that needs to be talked about.

    Why are we so afraid to talk about things that are so basic in all our lives?

    When we talk about these things, it is the start of dropping all the barriers and pictures we have about life.

    The start of true Brotherhood.

    We all miss this so much.

  2. Excellent Excellent post – Simple Living Global.

    Where else do we read such frank writing.

    I have never ever heard anyone talk or write about the toilet in this way and yet we all use it, so why not?

    I know that I would never have considered speaking with anyone about going to the toilet in this way before reading this post but it is like it has given me permission to be free and frank with my expression.

    There are so many things on here I can relate to that either I know I do personally or I know that others do.

    Also I love the clear supportive messages about going to the toilet and yes I have heard colleagues speaking before about catheters being the next step as work is so busy.

    So interesting how we find a way to try and solve the problem rather than look at why we are so busy or how we can truly support ourselves to deal with the demand.

    A great post that I will most definitely be sharing with others.

  3. This is a really important blog. I don’t know anyone that has written a blog like this.

    Why do we hold onto our wee/poo. What is it we are really holding onto. I can relate to this blog because there are a few things I used to do. Present day I respect my body and go to the toilet when my body tells me to.

    I always find public toilets an eye opener. Be it work, restaurants or a shopping mall. The state of some of them is Awful. Why do we leave it like that? Is it because we think the cleaner will come and clear it up. Would we treat our own toilet at home like this?

    I treat my toilet at home like my sink. It is cleaned everyday and my toilet brush is treated to a good clean once a week.

    This blog really hits the spot and as Shevon points out is supportive.

  4. Oh my goodness me. I can’t quite believe this blog exists. It’s really does go where few (any?) dare to venture.

    And yes, I was certainly laughing out loud at various points!

    The questions alone have a huge impact.

    How many of us consider the smell of our poo or it’s texture on any given day could offer us an opportunity to consider refining our food choices?

    How many of us have a low or inconsistent bar on hand washing or toilet cleaning standards?

    How many of us have actually ever been shown the gold standard in how to clean a toilet? (I have a feeling the author would be the ultimate teacher in this – is there a video tutorial to come?)

    How many of us simply don’t prioritise this basic stuff?

    Thank you for writing this blog. It has already got me thinking in much more detail about all things toilet related in my own life.

    1. Thank you Jenifer for your oh my goodness comment here.

      This blog has set a new marker that it is high time we started talking about real life every day bog standard stuff (pun intended), like the toilet habits we have and what toilet respect and decency is really about.

      How can we go around having double standards?

      Making sure at home we do it properly but totally dismiss and ignore any public toilet we use.

      It makes no sense to live like this and equally it makes no sense that kids are growing up and do not even know how to correctly clean their bum after a poo.

      Simple Living Global are on the front foot when it comes to expressing everyday stuff to bring awareness to humanity. Nothing more and nothing less.

      We are not short of content and neither are we short of publishing more of what this world needs.

      There is so much more to express with the usual style of no holding back.

      In response to your question – Yes we plan to do a video tutorial which is simple, about how to clean a toilet and as the author of this blog will carry out the demo – it will be gold standard for sure.

      What if our world started to change their priorities and focussed on basic stuff like toilet matters?

      We seem to dismiss and negate such an important part of our daily living when we choose not to value the toilet business.

  5. More than one of the teachers at my kids’ school have shared how much time they have to spend in the early years managing toilet issues for the kids.

    Kids who have been sent to school not able to go to the toilet by themselves.

    Kids who aren’t wiping their bums and washing their hands.

    And this is not just the young nursery kids they are talking about.

    They say it is like the parents simply haven’t bothered to teach them – they have outsourced it to the school, apathetic of the impact it has on the teacher and the class, when the teachers have to spend their time in the bathroom instead of the classroom.

    This is apparently shockingly common.

    The other toilet phenomenon we have experienced, is sending our kids to school, fully trained and capable and diligent about toilet rituals, only to find that after some time, the standards drop. Bottoms stop being wiped at school.

    Apparently, they are told to be quick when they use the loo. They rush. They start to drop the important details or copy their friends who e.g. don’t wash their hands.

    This shows up clearly at home in dirty pants, 1 minute toilet visits and poor hand-washing care.

    And so the training must begin again at home, to build the standard back up.

    What is it about the school environment that feeds this phenomenon?
    Why do the children have to or want to rush their toilet time at school?
    Why are toilet standards easy for kids to drop?
    Why do families have such different standards around toilet care that show up in our kids?

  6. What you say here Jenifer is really important. I have friends who are teachers and they tell me stories of children aged 5 years old arriving at school in nappies because the parents have never shown them how to use the toilet. Children arriving at school with soiled pants because parents could not be bothered to change them.

    What are we doing to our kids. The most basic human function they should know. But yet our parents relie on someone else because they do not have the time or because they see it as someone else job.

    This blog really is an eye opener.

  7. I remember sending my children to preschool and that it was all about potty training them, or the would not be able to go.

    And sending them to preschool was important because it was all about affordable daycare, and allowing me to get back to work, and educating them.

    Looking back I feel some shame in the decision. Were we really thinking about the well being of our child?
    Were we pushing our children to get the toilet stuff right, so we could get them in school?

    I understand that the mentality of the day was all about getting a good education and being successful, but where were our priorities?
    Knowing how to care for ourselves is essential.

    Thank you Simple Living Global for asking important questions about what our priorities are.

    And maybe the state of our world is an indication of our choices?

    And maybe our individual everyday choices can change the world?

  8. It really does feel like going for a wee is a stop moment. The body’s chance to let go. It is great to reflect on that.

    When we rush the experience or put it off for a long time (or for any time in fact), surely that is harming us in some way. I know I used to be proud of how ‘strong’ my bladder was and also how quick I could wee, but there was always a strain.

    No more of that now – my body leads the way.

    The ‘how to’ handout is absolutely phenomenal. The details really slow you down.

    It’s like you realise how little care you have been bringing to the act of going to the toilet and how much more care you can bring – how you can treat it as super important.

    Because it is. It really is.

  9. Thank you for this fantastic blog.

    This is a great example of the author’s willingness to take the blogs to the parts that other blogs don’t reach.

    One of the first lessons in self-care that I learnt from the author over a decade ago was to go and pee immediately as I needed to and not to hold on.

    I had had this tendency to hold on so that I could, amongst other reasons: just finish a bit of work; or stay and not miss an exciting moment in the movie or TV show I was watching; or carry on for a few miles without breaking my journey.

    But, learning that I needed to go and pee immediately as I felt the need was important for me. Not only did I benefit through not having to experience the discomfort I used to sometimes experience through holding on, it was also an important milestone for me in my understanding that, in life, I need to put my body first.

  10. This blog has raised the standard for me – and I considered the standard already to be high.

    I now wash my hands with even more care than before.

    If the toilet is anything but sparkling, I just can’t leave it.

    How amazing is it that simply reading a blog can have that effect?

    The blog didn’t tell me to do anything. It simply invited an inquiry. Offered an opportunity to refine. Presented something so basic as our toilet business as an utmost priority, as lived by the author.

    It really does show how walking the walk can have a massive impact on others.

    And it brings a new dimension to the concept of responsibility – that we don’t need to make it about boring and burdens. What matters is taking care of the details of how we live and the rest flows from there.

  11. Yes!

    Much needed – a bog standard (pun intended) conversation about toilets and so much more.

    In the last few years I have spoken with around 4,000 staff who work in the NHS about self-care – and the first thing we discuss is going to the toilet – or should I say the fact that many staff do not go to the toilet when they need to, or, don’t hydrate so that they don’t need to go to the toilet so often… During all of those conversations around 10 people only (out of 4,000) said they actually go to the toilet when they need. What does that say about our willingness to take super care of ourselves?

    I also ask taxi drivers, and others I meet during my day about their toileting – as it is one of the most fundamental self-care aspects that so many of us ignore – at our peril. Many people I speak to in life don’t drink so they don’t need to pee, or hold onto going to pee sometimes for hours.

    A urologist at a self-care presentation said that their work would be far far less if we got on with going to the toilet when we need to. As they (urologists) literally ‘pick up the slack’ (pun also intended) – and have to repair the aftermath of many decades of holding onto pee as the muscles etc gradually deteriorate with less elasticity.

    A final Pee note is – having observed whole teams and hospital wards have a ‘pee on time’ focus whereby they make having a pee a priority, they not only begin to hydrate more, it also improves their working relationships (as a. they are not so grumpy, and b. they have something self caring to talk about together), and, it has an impact on the quality of their work too.

    Toilet talk (and action) is so underrated – yet it is absolutely foundational to self-care, and to supporting our physical body.

  12. I was using a public toilet recently and it was interesting to observe three women in succession took the time to top up their make up and spray perfume. But none washed their hands after using the toilet.

    Some cubicles were a mess and almost unusable.

    Why do we make the effort to top up our make up but we do not make the same effort to leave the toilet how we found it or wash our hands.
    Is going to the toilet just a chore instead of respecting the space we use? I think so.

  13. Talking to someone the other day and they were saying that they never use public toilets even at work. They hold their toilet rather than use it.

    I found this surprising. I asked how do they hold it for so long. They said if they get desperate and they are at work they go to toilet in an empty tupperware.

    What are we doing to our body and what are holding onto of we have to go to great lengths not to use the toilet. For me I do not hold on when I need to go.

  14. Thank you for this brilliant blog.

    This blog raises fascinating questions. Why is talking about pee and poo mostly taboo for adults in our culture?

    Especially when there are certain contexts in which the taboo doesn’t apply, for example, when we are taking care of infants and children or when someone is ill and their bladder and bowel function requires monitoring or consideration.

    It’s my suspicion that this taboo about poo and pee talk is a hangover from our Victorian past when concepts about sex and bodily functions being dirty were circulated by organisations that sought to reform society.

    If it is the case that that the taboos preventing us from talking about pee and poo openly are merely a cultural hang over from our past, does it make sense to hold on to these outdated concepts that prevent us from talking about matters that pertain to our hygiene and our health?

  15. This comment would also be appropriate for the blog on this website titled LOST THE PLOT

    I was reading in a supermarket newspaper this week about cashmere toilet rolls and sales have gone sky high before Christmas.

    With a quick research this is not new stuff but its been around since 2010.
    The reason it remains on our shelves today is because of the demand.
    Suppliers would have no need to make it if we as customers did not want it.

    Yes real cashmere inside our toilet rolls known as luxury.
    So is bum wiping asking for luxury only at Christmas or is it just to impress those who visit our homes at this time of year?

    Have we lost the plot when it comes to our toilet business or do we demand this type of stuff because we can?

    How does this type of product evolve us as a race of beings?

  16. I was raised in a culture where cleaning the toilet is a woman’s job.

    So as a girl I learned from a very young age to clean the toilet and I made it my business to do this.

    I know of people where the children have their own bathroom and the cleaner comes once a week.

    I also know of a couple raising young children where the mother is doing her best to teach the children the importance and value of checking the toilet after each and every use and taking action so it is clean.

    She mentioned it is not easy if other adults are not role models because the consistency is simply not there for the kids to take this on board.

    If we are used to cleaners doing it for us – would our kids grow up just assuming and thinking its not their job?

    Is this a convenient way to avoid personal responsibility for something so basic?

    Do we then end up with new generations of adults who actually would never even think to check a public toilet or anywhere they go after use, as it’s just not on their radar?

    What if we had a faux pas following a dodgy curry night or just had bowel movements that did not make it straight into the water bowl?

    What happens then – do we just leave it or is there a Responsibility?

    If we are not going to consider this basic responsibility, what chance have we got to take greater responsibility when it comes to other life choices.

    Imagine lessons from kindergarten and nurseries to master the art of cleaning a toilet and let’s bring in toilet brushes to practice and learn so kids see it as normal – no big deal.

    Our future education needs to include the Back to Basics stuff, so we have them growing up with Responsibility at the core of their choices.

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