Tell ‘em Straight

Dear World

Time to straighten up the world as it really is all over the place and we all got a job to do – so LET’S GET ON WITH IT !

This short blog is saying it is time we just Say It as It Is.
We no longer need to hold back and squirm or pull away.
Just go for it and tell ‘em straight.

There is no point diluting what you know needs to be said and no point watering it down, as you don’t want to tell ‘em straight – that benefits none of us.

Tell ‘em straight means no matter who or what is in front of you, if you feel there is something to say and it is no nonsense straight forward talking – JUST SAY IT.

It could be a partner, the kids, the neighbour, the shop keeper, the supermarket security guard, the boss, the friend, the colleague at work, the board room CEO or the prisoner in the next cell – tell ‘em straight.

What is the point of not saying what needs to be said and choosing to say nothing?

What would be the purpose of calculating or trying to strategise what to say and how to say it and when?

What if there is now an immediacy needed when we engage and talk to others, so we all get what is needed to move on?

What if we actually are supporting others when we tell ‘em straight, as they know where we are coming from?

What if our tell ‘em straight talking offers a new standard in our relationships and work places?

What if the very thing you have got to say would make a Real difference?

What if your tell ‘em straight talking was super important and exactly what the other needed to hear?

What if you are simply a messenger for others when you just tell ‘em straight?

What if our whole outlook on life would be very different if we just tell ‘em straight?

What if we made the commitment to tell ‘em straight at every opportunity?

What if others would respect us if the dilly dallying nicey nice was replaced with the tell ‘em straight style?

What if we actually started liking ourselves more and respecting ourselves for doing the tell ‘em straight talking?

What if our new tell ‘em straight style made us more Real and we started feeling more confident about speaking up?

What if we practice this “tell ‘em straight”?
In other words, we would just say what we mean and not worry or get bothered about their reactions.

What if our tell ‘em straight helped us to not create so much tension in our body, which comes from holding back?

What if we posted online with our tell ‘em straight writing instead of the fluff and puff of past days?

What if we started writing Emails with our tell ‘em straight costume on?

What if we develop Another Way of living everyday by using this “tell ‘em straight” as part of our normal Expression?

In other words, we take small steps and do straight talking, no nonsense with those close to us and allow this to develop and expand into other areas of life which includes work and our Neighbourhood and Community.

What if others do appreciate those that tell ‘em straight, as they know exactly where they stand and it ain’t such a bad thing?

What if we have the power to touch others deeply if we tell ‘em straight?


It is important to be aware that tell ‘em straight is not venting or using our underlying tone to sound like it’s straight talk but it is not. No No.

Tell ‘em straight is not coming with any agenda or intention other than to be as open and HONEST as we can in that given moment.

A great example here are young children before they start getting into observing their parents and older siblings and going into pleasing or rebelling.

The kids that just Say It as It Is – they are not affected in anyway about the outcome or what may happen. They just tell us all straight. There are no narrow ways about them – just full on open-ness and a natural-ness that lights us up, as we feel where they are coming from.

This little 3 minute read is not to be underestimated.

If we stopped the Gossip and circulating chitta chatta that goes around and is pointless and has no purpose and replaced it with tell ‘em straight style talking, we would no doubt see much needed Change in our world.

This blog is written by a tell ‘em straight woman that is not here to get likes or followers. Just here to Say It as It Is with a no nonsense approach, because our world is starved of this type of Communication.

The key is to not be coming from a place of hurt, reaction or lashing out. Tell ‘em straight is – you know what is needed in that moment, you got the answer or the message – so say it straight.

Nothing more and nothing less is needed.

Job done.




Comments 7

  1. I just got out of my car and was on a local high street and saw a young woman looking very distressed. In my usual style, I just say it as it is and asked what’s going on and her response was she has no money as she left her purse at home.
    OK – not a problem was my first response. What did she want money for?
    Turned out it was to get her nails done before work.

    Well I told her straight if it was genuine and needed I most certainly would give her money but not for false nails. Then we got talking about her false eyelashes and her reason was it saves time putting make up on in the morning. Really?

    The amount of baloney people come up with. Asking those in a hair salon it turns out the eyelashes are so long and in the way they have bad sleep every night as they cannot turn on their side, but it’s worth it as during the day they look good. Really?

    That was a relevant digression – back to the distressed young woman. I told her about my life and the acne for decades and excess weight and then my age today and yes I felt amazing even without make up or hair done properly. I said those thick heavy fake lashes come at a cost and she nodded and so does the false nails. I asked her was she hiding or masking something underneath and boom, she just burst into tears. I carry tissues always and handed some over and allowed her to just sob. She then told me she just buried a young man who had suicided and was part of her family (not blood).

    This is serious and what was very noticeable was the instant change. Her eyes had a kind of depth that was not there before. When I met her the eyes were vacant, like she was empty and dis-connected. Her body was settled and not in an anxious state like when I first saw her. She did say she felt so much better and took my card to contact me. Whether she does or doesn’t matters not. What matters is I did not hold back even though it would appear that this was a stranger and we don’t go up and start talking when we don’t know someone.

    I was presented (put into this situation) right time, right place and this was a call.

    I responded without any hesitation and gave it my all. Not once did I care or think about my husband having to wait around in the car or shop or that our own errands to action would be delayed because of this conversation.

    Most of us don’t realise that what we have to say may be exactly what another needs to hear or just our presence in that moment may be just what they need. If I didn’t walk up to this woman that I had never seen before and said “What’s up” how would her day be, as we know she was holding on to some emotion that needed to come out.

    Tell ’em straight as the title of this blog says. Why hold back – I didn’t and look what happened to this woman who was at the receiving end of a suicide.

  2. I came across two young work men digging the road and fixing the water pipes.

    We got talking and it was very interesting to watch how they behave towards each other and how they are living life.

    Early 20s and grateful they have work and every weekend when they choose not to work they party hard and that means excess alcohol and some drugs. Of course they were cautious about what drugs, as they don’t know me and I do ask questions as that is my job. I work for God so I need to know how the people are doing and what they are up to. This allows me to simply feel the pulse of what is going on out there and usually it confirms what I had sensed.

    No I was not surprised but I told them straight – carry on with your behaviour and late nights on the screen and scrolling social media at every possible moment and the body will eventually cop it and show you your ill ways through symptoms, illness or something – Yep they got it.

    We talked a lot more and they felt enriched as I was able to express what I could clearly feel about them behind the façade and macho nonsense that most guys of this age portray. One was super sensitive and quite delicate and the other had a huge heart, but was guarded and protected of showing that side which would be for most quite vulnerable.

    I cut one of the in mid conversation and pulled him up and out of his ugly talk. He was slagging the other guy but in a jokey way, when it was super clear and obvious he totally adored him and valued their friendship beyond the work. Yes I told him and it changed the tone thereafter and the friend agreed that he plays this character that he is not, all the while hiding the real true man that he is.

    We talked about other things and then at the end I said – ‘This is not a chance encounter or some woman rambling on. This is a moment – an opportunity to take note of the wisdom that was shared and all the questions presented to consider, that could change the course of your life forever”. What they do or don’t do is not my business, but for me it was another great moment in my life – meeting the general public and having a chat and do what I do best TELL ‘EM STRAIGHT.

  3. Talking to a young tradesman in the community. He started as an apprentice when he was a teenager and 2 decades later he said he wished he did not become an electrician.

    In my upfront style, I asked him why and what would he like to do instead.

    His response was ‘”sit behind a computer – a desk job because this involves manual work and is boring now.”

    I found out that he works 6 days a week and has Sunday off. There is so much work and they never advertise. It’s a two man band driving around the city in their van doing heating engineering, plumbing and electrical work.

    As an elder with wise words to impart, I told him straight.
    He got it and what I realised is this young man has never been appreciated or even met as a human being doing a grand job for humanity and that includes me.

    He was highly skilled and very focussed. He had what I would rate as more than proper communication and he was complaining about having too much work and no play time.

    I said how blessed he was to have a job as many his age were out of work or busy at home during a pandemic doing porn, more flicking of the net movies or screen time with social media or video gaming. He nodded in agreement.

    This young man works well and take that away from him and he would soon wake up that life on the other side is not rosier or even greener and Yes, of course I told him.

    He left with his footsteps stronger than when he came in. It was like he got an internal ‘Yes, this is ok’ and no need to keep droning on about what he hasn’t got.

    We spend far to much time listening to our head fed with all these thoughts – none of which are true but we chase them like they are and forget we just need to get on with it and that means do the job and giving it our all – everything that we are so others can feel what we have done without the need for any recognition. We know we did a grand job and that is enough.

    If we really are bored with our work – go read the blog on this website called ~ Bored with Life ~

    Straight talk works but first we need to walk the talk and that means live what we are about to impart to another. Otherwise it’s just Hot Talk – another blog on this website worth reading.

  4. These days if I forget something there is always good reason and great stuff comes out of it as there is no reaction or beating myself up for my mistake or listening to those fed thoughts that tell me I am this or that.

    I realised almost immediately after and went back to collect the thing I forgot.
    Certainly not a wasted journey as I met a young guy who admitted he did not know what direction to take in life and that he blows “hot and cold” and is constantly indecisive. He was sure he did not want a job like ‘normal people’ doing 9am to 5pm and yet he is supposedly a fitness trainer and then tells me “you are probably more fitter than I am” to which I responded “I am and I know that”.

    Firstly, I do not look tired, fatigued or lacking in vitality at the age of 60. That in itself speaks volumes and this website comes from that elder in society. Let’s face it in this country you get free public transport as a woman who has reached 60. When I was younger, age 60 was definitely retirement and now it is like I am just starting out to get going and work until my last breath, because I make sure I take care of myself.

    Next – told the boy in my usual “Tell ‘em Straight” that he was unsettled and that life did not have to be this way AND that he does not want a proper job like most as they just do not want to work long hours as there is no time off to play, do stupid things and stay on the bandwagon of distractions. Like most youth, he longs for life overseas and of course have lots of money, quick and fast.

    I left him with the truth that I know and that is he lacks direction and he agreed.

    Not saying it as it is and that means Tell ‘em Straight, leaves this guy stuck where he is and guaranteed no offer of a pull up or a call out to say “Hey mister, your life is off track, it is very clear and obvious, so how about you at least consider what this elder in the community has to say with some wise words?”.

    Some of us think we are getting involved but if an opportunity presents itself, who are we to have any thoughts – why not just express what we sense has just been imparted to us as it’s literally on the tip of our tongue. Let’s cut the nice, polite, not the right thing blah blah and just tell ‘em straight. This guy, just like almost every one I seem to encounter are super grateful for the wise words of wisdom that come naturally and that is simply because I never hold back, as I am not afraid of what they might do or think of me.

    Job done and what a grand service this is to humanity. Another young person jolted out of the comfort of living in self doubt, indecisiveness and not really wanting to work. Most may not agree but it is comfort even if there is a deeper level of un-comfortableness in our comfort. We don’t like it but we don’t hate it enough to actually make the moves to change. Ponder on that Dear World.

  5. It is rare these days to know of someone that would challenge another in a senior position and in particular, if there was a chance of it causing more problems.

    I was in that situation this week and I could sit back, say nothing, get angry or frustrated, have a moan or phone a friend and download. None of those were an option.

    Instead, I reflected on the whole thing and firstly emailed. It had to be said and I had to spell it out. I was not going to accept an underhand and un-professional way of operating and taking blame for something that was not true. When it comes to stuff like this I cannot ever sit by and let things just happen.

    My email created a strong reaction and my phone rang within 10 minutes. I was firm and was not going to let this man get away with his disgusting behaviour and above all lies that he took to his manager. I cut the whole thing and told him he is not to do this again or I will be reporting him. In the past, he has asked me to never complain or say anything bad about him to the manager. Yes it’s all about the security of his job like it is for most in this world. But what if we need to expose the ills and the ugly stuff and by letting it go, the next target could be someone that is not going to respond as I did?

    I hate the fact that those in senior positions fire out emails and say things that are not true and then have the balls to stand by it as if it were true. In comes Bina Pattel with the authority that I live and claim and there was going to be a correction. An apology was not needed but a correction to put the record straight was.

    We need more people to stand up for what they know is the truth and stop those that are getting away with it. Tell ‘em straight so they learn that their behaviour is not acceptable and it may just help them on their path of evolution.

  6. I am done when it comes to pussy footing around and not saying it as it is.
    There is no time left in my world to be playing safe, to be liked or to not be bad mouthed because I did not tell ‘em straight.

    This week there have been a few incidences and I just seem to say it straight. No mincing or words, not trying to coerce, convince, justify or sell them anything – just straight facts that I know that come from my lived experience. When you get to my age of 61 there is a lot of wisdom to impart and an opportunity for others to listen up.

    This is not to say I know everything or that they don’t know or trying to make out I am the one they need to listen to. Far from that.

    As the author of this incredibly rich and resourcefull website, I talk from my body and that to me is worth gold. There are no fancy or fluffy words, just straight delivery, take it or leave it.

    Yesterday, I was in a furniture store and while I waited for the client to get the paperwork done, the assistant was asking me lots of questions as she seemed to be interested in health and well-being, telling me she shifted from HRT to herbal supplements and things have gotton worse. Also that no caffeine and no sugar since January is really difficult and she is waking up a minimum of 5 times a night. Well hello this is my areas of expertise and so I say a few things and she is in agreement. She then tells me her husband sleeps 4 hours and can work all day so why can’t she do the same. My response was straight talk – does he do caffeine, alcohol, sugar or a ton of carbs everyday and she said “yes to all of those”.

    Again with my usual directness I said “why are you in comparison firstly and second, his body is exhausted and that is WHY he has to live on a false energy to feed him and it comes from the caffeine, sugar, alcohol and copious amounts of carbs.

    Next – she wants to engage me in even more questions and I found myself ready to leave the building and once again I express straight with no fluff. “You have no intention of changing your lifestyle or even considering anything I have suggested including not reading books before bed when it is clear you have serious sleep issues.”

    I made my exit and on to the next store where I had a great moment purchasing items in a few minutes and not having to even waste time online shopping or going on a shopping expedition. Job well done.

    Next – today I meet a young woman and her partner in a diner. We get talking and she had a pretty face and lovely skin. I told her that I loved the fact she was not wearing false eyelashes like the majority of women her age. She responded and said she was about to have them done today.

    As an elder in the community and someone that is very interested in the health and well-being of humanity as a whole and that includes anyone and everyone, I tell her a few home truths that she may not have been aware of so that she can perhaps re-consider. Her partner says he likes her natural and does not want her to have fake lashes but her mind is made up as she has done her research and she is doing it for herself and not for anyone else.

    Of course I am not in agreement but it is not my body and there is no attachment in me for her to ‘get it or not’. I know what I know and it is coming from a body of lived experience and not saying anything would be a dis-service. This is how I operate in life and I really don’t care if I am bad mouthed or dismissed or cursed at. Holding back when we know the truth about something is a crime in my book.

    I know real life stories and plenty of them about what fake lashes do when we start getting them done and it is not worth it. However, the masses are demanding them and the suppliers are everywhere giving us what we demand.

  7. Reading this blog – the first sentence is what this comment is about.

    Time to straighten up the world as it really is all over the place and we all got a job to do…

    On that note – sometimes I deviate from my planned route of travel and just go with it if it feels true for me.

    Before I entered the supermarket, I entered the café nextdoor and sat down.
    There was no plan for me to be here but I just knew where I sat was right and needed.
    I don’t question my movements in times like this and I have no expectation.
    First, I talked to the manager who knows me from previous conversations.

    Noted a screaming toddler under the table next to me and getting hysterical with his large family sized sweet popcorn packet.
    Firstly – who are the parents and why is this screaming ongoing?

    I saw the father come over and he actually looked scared of what was monstrous and definitely not a small child. It was even banging its own head on the underside of the table. He could not stop him so left the boy screaming and went back to his lunch with his wife. Their table consisted of lots of toys and educational laminated this and that with crayons etc., and of course the chocolate laden cake half eaten by the toddler.

    I turned and asked them what was the boys name and I was given a shortened version. With my usual straight talk I said the full name and they almost looked aghast that I knew what it was. Then I went for it and said
    What kind of ill parenting is this?
    WHY is your child running the show here?
    Have you realised he is controlling you guys?
    Yes – they both nodded and agreed

    I said to them he has a nursery top on so why is he not in nursery?
    Their response was we are eating out and then going to take him into nursery.

    My next words were “he is consuming copious amounts of chocolate and you may want to consider why his moods are so un-controllable”
    I told the mother her sugar laced pancakes may be great but worth admitting she is exhausted and needs this kind of food as her reward and to stay awake – I know it well as I done it for decades with great harm to my body.

    I then asked is this a pandemic baby and they both nodded.

    I then turned to the boy still screaming in a public place under the table right next to me and away from his parents’ table. I said his full name and told him to stop the shouting and screaming, get up and pay attention – this is a public place and he cannot behave in this way.
    Said with full authority – I was not concerned what his parents might say or that the café owner was looking at a nearside table in conversation with someone and the manager happened to stand right at my table with my teapot listening to what I was saying. Absolutely nothing was going to come in the way of my no nonsense straight forward talking.

    And of course, the boy stopped immediately and got up.
    I told him to sit quietly next to me or go back to his table.
    Thereafter, the café had a kind of silence and quiet that could be felt.

    The manager said that he hates seeing parents that just spoil their kids and give them so many distractions. He could see why this was happening but did not have it in him to do what I done and of course too scared of losing their job.

    I ironed it out and when I was leaving I told the mother that the childs behaviour cannot be glossed over when the parenting aspect is not fully considered. Apologies are not what is needed.
    She then proceeded to force the child to be nice to me and say ‘goodbye, have a nice day’. I told her to stop and leave him as he does not like me because I called out his disgusting behaviour and he knows that.
    The child then looked up and said bye.
    The father was far away on a business call and came over so I tapped him on the shoulder and said – deal with this and know you are the boss, not him (the child).

    I went to the supermarket and was on my way to the checkout within minutes and I see the toddler again with his mother. She said with a big smile, she was going to buy him fruit and there is the confirmation – she actually listened to what I had to say.

    On that story – this is not an isolated incidence.
    I am observing more and more wayward behaviours in young children demanding what they want and screaming with their tantrums with irresponsible parents saying nothing, acting helpless.

    Why has our world not educated parents and give them a taster of what is actually involved to raise a child in this world today.
    It is not easy and we need support but there is no manual and no real life good old fashion guide.
    We place value on so much stuff that has no purpose and little if nothing on things that are super important like – how to raise a child with 101 responsibility and the qualities of no harm to self and others.

    Saying nothing and allowing this to continue is not the way to go.
    Tell them straight but without judgement and wanting an outcome.
    This real life example is one of many many of how I live and operate in my community and beyond.
    Nothing will stop me from telling ‘em straight.

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