What is REAL TALKING about?
What does Talking mean to us?
Where does Talking come from?
What is the dictionary telling us about this word Talk?
Concise Oxford English Dictionary
1. speak in order to give information or express ideas or feelings; communicate by speech
- (talk something over/through) discuss something thoroughly
- (be talking) informal be discussing in specified terms: we’re talking big money
2. (talk someone round) convince someone to adopt a specific point of view
- (talk someone into/out of) persuade or dissuade someone to or from
- (talk something out) (in Parliament) block the course of a bill by prolonging discussion to the time of adjournment
3. (talk back) reply defiantly or insolently
4. (talk down to) speak condescendingly to
1. conversation; discussion
- speculation or gossip
- (the talk of) a current subject of widespread gossip or speculation in
2. an address or lecture
3. (talks) formal discussions or negotiations
you can’t talk informal used to convey that a criticism made applies equally well to the person making it
look who’s talking another way of saying – you can’t talk
talk the talk informal speak in a way intended to convince or impress
informal a prolonged discussion or debate
– ORIGIN 1930s (orig. US, denoting a debate artificially prolonged to prevent the progress of a bill): blend of TALK and MARATHON
fond of or given to talking
1. a system of two-way communication by loudspeaker
2. another term for PHONE-IN
an Internet bulletin board or chat room
informal, chiefly North American a lengthy discussion or debate, especially as part of a television chat show
talking point noun
a topic that invites discussion
talking shop (also talk shop) noun
Brit. a place or group regarded as a centre for unproductive talk rather than action
informal a sharp reprimand (1)
Do we all accept and agree with everything here that is said because it is in the dictionary?
Who writes all this stuff and where does it come from in the first place?
WHY have we got so many versions online about this word Talk and they are not all saying the same thing?
What if we started asking more Questions and got to the essence of a word, where we are all united and that means we get to a one-unified truth?
That means it would be Simple to know what is Truth and what is not.
There would not be any room for mis-interpretation in any way whatsoever.
There would no longer be big fat dictionaries because we would cut the fat and get to the REAL TALK for digital or printing.
We all know that we use talk as a form of communication and the dictionary confirms this.
We can use it to express how we feel and we can use it to inform and share ideas.
For some of us we are able to discuss the private stuff and intimate feelings but only to those we feel safe with and who knows if we go the whole hog or hold back and disclose what we want. In other words, we do not talk about all our Vices and Secrets and we hope no one will ever find out.
What about when we circulate widespread some speculation we read in the media or overheard at the bus stop?
Do we ever bother to check the facts or do our own research and then discern, or do we simply jump on the bandwagon as it gives us something to talk about that day?
What about the online stuff that “anonymous” names write about decent people and vent utter hate and some of us actually believe it and join the bandwagon?
What about those times when we give it the big Hot Talk like we are really onto something, but we know inside us that there will be zero action taking place as we love our comfortable life and getting out there and actually GETTING ON WITH IT is not for us?
What about those who need to convince someone, which comes from a force, as we need them to believe it is the truth when in Truth we never need to convince anyone as it never sticks?
In others words, when we use a force to persuade others to see it our way, it simply will not hold as they are slippery words and not solid.
What about when we lecture others like we have the right to control the conversation one way, with no room for any response or feedback?
What about those formal negotiations where we try to reach an agreement or compromise knowing all along it is not the Truth?
What about those who talk down in a tone and attitude that we can feel is patronising, so it makes us feel less and they feel superior in some way?
What about talking face to face?
How are we in our body when we have this head on engagement?
Do we talk with eye contact full on or talk away with no eyes meeting?
Do we change what we were talking about as we are ‘reading’ the other person?
In other words, we have clocked them and made up our mind what we want to say and not say.
What about the talking we do on the phone?
Do we have a telephone voice?
Do we natter on because we just want to get it out of our system?
Do we always go to someone who will confirm us in whatever we say?
In other words, if we are looking for sympathy, we know they will agree and join us there.
Do we talk about our victim mode and find other victims out there who like the pity pot syndrome and so we all have common talk about the same stuff?
Do we avoid people who hold a level of authority by their lived way, which comes with a greater Responsibility?
In other words, we know people who are truly walking the walk and talking the talk and not the dictionary definition, which tells us they are out to convince and impress.
What about those that just ramble on and it is obvious we are probably the only person they get to speak to all day so we play nice, say nothing and confirm them so no change there?
What about the wasted talk time we spend when we could be doing something that is productive and would support us and others?
What about those who think they need their voice heard by all and sundry so they talk like they got a loudspeaker on?
What about those who use Social Media ‘chat rooms’ to chit chat about this and that and hide behind a screen and say whatever they want even if it is a load of baloney?
What about those lengthy discussions that go on in board rooms across the world where the kingpin ends up having the last say and the whole thing is already decided, but the talk takes place to make it all look like all things were considered and accounted for?
What about those who talk about a topic, which invites a discussion to suit their own agenda and so it is no longer a truly open and transparent platform because the outcome is going to be decided before it all got started?
What if this sharp formal tone of voice, when we talk to reprimand another, is not coming from a place of equalness, unity, oneness or brotherhood?
In other words, we use the power we hold in the position we are given to do what it takes to read the rules to the endth degree and dismiss the essence of who is in front of us, because we do not see them as the SAME and EQUAL as us.
The Science of WHY We Talk Too Much and How to Shut Up
Science says that humans, being social animals are programmed to use communication as a vital tool to survive and thrive.
60% spend conversations talking about themselves
80% use conversations about themselves on social media
Researchers found the reason was because it just feels good. (2)
Harvard psychologists discovered that individuals were wiling to give up money for the opportunity to disclose information about themselves. (3)
What is this really telling us about our behaviour?
Would it be true to say that most of us are using social media so others get to know who we are?
Is it because we are looking outside to the world to confirm us, like us, recognise us and identify us?
WHY are we willing to give up money simply to have an opportunity to disclose information about our self?
Could it be possible SOMETHING IS MISSING?
Could we be Honest and say SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT?
Who likes to really Talk?
Who is comfortable Talking?
Who enjoys Talking nonsense?
Who wants to talk to people they don’t like?
Who has time for all this talking business?
Who looks forward to Nil by Mouth – no talking?
What is it about talking that we love?
What is it about talking that we hate?
What is it about talking that hurts us?
What is it about talking that we avoid at all costs?
What is it about talking that we wish we could ignore?
What is it about talking that makes us want to run away?
What is it about talking that changes our mood?
What is it about talking that affects our emotions?
What is it about talking that we just don’t want?
What is it about talking that we are not interested in?
What is it about talking that bores the pants off us?
What is it about talking that makes us dig our heels in?
What is it about talking that we simply do not like?
What is it about talking that raises our natural voice?
What is it about talking that makes us sound abrupt?
What is it about talking that makes us feel uncomfortable?
What is all this jibber jabber that comes out of our mouth?
WHY do we talk for the sake of it?
WHY do we talk such utter rubbish sometimes?
WHY do we talk about things that make no sense?
WHY does the talking business annoy us so much?
WHY is talking sense not a Priority in our life?
WHY do we let loose with our tongue when we talk?
WHY do some of us talk utter crap just for the sake of it?
WHY does the talking rubbish bug us, but we do it anyway?
WHY does the talking of proper stuff not enter our radar?
WHY do we give ourselves permission to rant and call this talking?
WHY do we think it is ok to have talks about things that seem pointless?
WHY do we sit around and listen to others talking about this and that which has no purpose whatsoever?
WHY do we stay quiet when we know we need to talk up?
WHY do some of us talk so quietly that it’s hard to hear?
WHY do some of us like the attention we get from talking softly and nicely all the time?
WHY do some of us have a telephone voice when we talk?
WHY do we think talking in a meeting to look like we are contributing is worth doing?
WHY do some of us pretend to be like someone else when we talk?
WHY do some of us bottle things up then blast it out at those we think are better off than us?
WHY do some of us avoid talking and when it comes out it’s like a big force that hurts others?
WHY do some of us let others do the talking so we get a quiet life?
WHY do some of us think it is ok to let others talk on our behalf?
WHY do some of us think it is ok to keep talking and not value what someone else is saying?
WHY do some of us have a convenient arrangement with our partner where one does most of the talking?
WHY do some people take over with the talking but we say nothing?
WHY do we nod and agree as we just can’t be bothered to do the talking stuff?
WHY do we get so lazy with our words when we talk?
WHY do we never talk out loud and say GET ON WITH IT?
WHY do we talk to our self in the Mirror about nonsense?
WHY do we create Complications even when we talk?
WHY do we always find Solutions in our everyday talk?
WHY do we spend so much time talking about our Regret?
WHY do we have a need to talk about the fact we are always Overdoing It and are exhausted?
WHY do we do the fake and phoney talking, thinking others are buying it and deep down we know it is not us?
WHY do we feel that others are checked out and not listening when we do the talking?
WHY do some of us deliberately use talking to manipulate and make out it is not the case?
WHY do we turn up and show up and force ourselves to talk away, when we don’t have anything really to say?
What if we started to respect and care for our self and bring this deep level of self-regard into every conversation we have?
What if we held all others and talked to them in the same quality as we do some of the so called close people in our life that we see as ‘special’?
What if we had a deeper understanding about people, before we open our mouth and Talk?
What if we started to elevate all our conversations at the dining table?
In other words, we make a commitment to cut the small Talk and say what we know would take the conversation to the next level.
What if we stopped talking about the weather and the soap opera last night and got Talking about real stuff going on in our neighbourhood?
What if we respond in our Talking with a deep honesty so the other person gets a shake out of the vibration they were in?
In other words, we don’t just nod and agree when we know we have words of wisdom that just need to be said with no holding back.
What if we had the awareness to see through those who set things up to ensure the outcome they want when they Talk?
What if we stop indulging in those moments in our past that are long gone where we float off in our mind and forget to Talk about real life right now?
In other words, not getting hooked into reminiscing because it feels like a relief moment but in truth we just went backwards, so no evolution.
What happens if our Talking is always about excuses and we know that?
What if we have the power to elevate ourselves out of a sticky stuck situation simply by Talking with a deep level of honesty?
What if our movements in life change just because we made the choice to change our old behaviour when we Talk?
What if we never allow any fighting or control in manipulative conversations as we know that is fake Talk and not us?
What if Talking has never been a strength for us but internal head Talk and not allowing it to come out of our mouth has?
What if our resistance to Talking is actually a deeper problem than we would like to consider or admit?
What happens if we use humour when we Talk so it covers up the ugly real stuff that we avoid at all costs?
What happens if we Talk in a very dismissive manner about ourselves and others?
What if we made a commitment to not drop the quality of our conversation when we next Talk?
In other words, we are not going to down play or talk fluffy and phoney to anyone, no matter who they are.
What if we made it our Priority to Talk to our children with an openness and honesty in every single conversation we have with them?
What if we made it our Focus to get Talking about things that really matter like the topics on this website?
What if we started to VALUE what we talk about and so it holds meaning for us and equally for others too?
What if we started every single conversation and every opportunity we are presented with, to Talk with an Absolute Honesty and not get concerned about where it will go?
What would our life be like?
What would our world be like?
What if that became our new normal one day in the future?
Could it be possible?
Could it be that Simple?
(1) Concise Oxford English Dictionary – Twelfth Edition. Oxford University Press. 2011
(2) Dishman, L. (n.d). The Science of Why We Talk Too Much (And How to Shut Up). Fast Company. Retrieved June 12, 2018 from
(3) Tamir, D.I., & Mitchell, J.P. Disclosing Information About the Self is Intrinsically Rewarding. Department of Psychology, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA, 02138. Retrieved June 12, 2018 from